A relationship between two people can have very different meanings.In some relationships such as two lovers, they can also be best of friends because they share some characteristics and qualities and have a good understanding of each other.A relationship between a parent and child has a special bond because they share love, and affection for each other no matter what the circumstances are there will always be some connection, even at its worst times.
However, there are times when a relationship can go bad because there is no understanding, lack of communication, and a feeling of distance in the relationship.
This may occur from mistakes or misunderstood acts from one another. It is believed that the parent-child relationship is the most influential relationship that there is. As of right now I believe that this is the relationship I must analyze more in-depth to get a full understanding of it and to just improve my daily life with them, but in particular my mother. My mother, like most Hispanics in her generation, did not grow up with half of the materialistic devices and privileges that I have had when growing up. She has come from a home that was riddled of alcohol and drug abuse.
Even with those distractions at home she still managed to get straight A’s, so she says, and has had a job throughout her life since the age of 16. She says if it wasn’t for marriage and having kids she would not have dropped out of college, but she was comfortable where her family was heading and had made that decision. My mother is someone to look up to in my books because of her overcoming of obstacles that had stood in front of her like it was just taking another breath of air, and for my father, I don’t even want to start on that description.
I’ll just leave it at that it is a privilege that I’m even walking this planet today. I believe my mother perceives me as taking the resources I have around me for granted. That I am just going through the motion of school and life and not tackling it like she did and still does. She sees an unemployed 20 year old at a junior college that has had recent trouble with the law. I am not putting up the biggest argument against her because I know I could be doing more to be excelling further in school and being more responsible for my own actions. I don’t think she fully understands the commitment of being in ootball during school. It really is like having a job year-round that gives you a 2 month break yearly. I know she gets her perceptions on what she hears at work at the sheriff’s department, which does not help, or what she sees on the news on television. So I believe her ideas on what people my age is a little bias. To overcome these perceptions and to better our relationship I believe we can communicate with each other more than we are now. Telling her more information about what goes on and what I am doing in my life can more likely give her a better idea on who I am or who I am on track of becoming.
Telling her more and more of what I am doing and disclosing my-self, I believe can make her feel more comfortable with me. By self-disclosing my-self it can give her assurance with what kind of person I am. With the way things are going between us right now I can only imagine who she thinks I am. When a mother does not know much about his son you can see as to why they can get carried away with ideas on who they might be but not who they are. However, there also might be some things that she sees about me that I don’t realize myself.
Those mother-to-child instincts are still a wonder to us all. She might see something about me that whenever I am in a serious relationship I seem to be more stressed, or that i am calm with her in our conversations. My emotions on the way I converse with her tell her a lot about myself. Emotion management is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. For example, if I failed a mid-term that day and she does not know, she cannot prepare for the negative responses, if any, to her questions and she most likely would not want to hold a conversation with me.
She can start to build an idea that I am not consistent with who I am and lead up to fewer conversations to build on our relationship. However, emotion management does have its cons. For instance, if I am not happy with something she is doing and I never express anything about it the relationship for me might start to become one-sided meaning only she is happy with relational content. Sometimes giving feedback about some ones actions is the best way to maintain a relationship.
Relationship maintenance between her and I is a must. If I want her to be appy with me then I have to put in my part. If I am just sitting around the house not contributing to anything or with the household how could I expect her to be happy with me. When she sees me applying myself she can have many reasons to be happy or proud with what I am doing. How can she not be if she knows I am taking advantage of the opportunities around me? For example, if I am maintaining a 3. 0 grade point average while holding a part time job and in a year-round sport like football, she should not have reason to be upset or concerned with me.