Even before a child was brought in the outside world, there are things which he can already do on his own. But of course, the full functionality of such motions is stabilized after he was given birth. The cycle of one’s life is a brief cruise and so events that are tantamount to the growth and maturity of a person should be remembered. The experiences one will be able to see is something that should be treasured because from there, a person may evolve to someone who he is ought to be. From the time of my birth, I have already been associated with different scenarios that involve my sensory and locomotion.
For instance, I can feel and I know that it is time for me to eat my meal or drink my milk when I can sense that my stomach is crumbling. With this, my sensory skills are being put in to test and see if it will mature on the time it is designated to be. Accordingly, my locomotion skills are also honed at this early period. At two years old or even earlier, I learned how to crawl, walk and run. These skills are constantly practiced everyday and sooner, I perfected it all and was allowed to be alone.
Additionally, throughout my infancy years, I learned how to calculate every step that I make so that I will not hurt my self in the long run. With the help of my parents and other people around me that time, I began to slowly learn how to understand some of the little things that I know and show to them that I am gradually becoming independent from all their help. My emotions then are also satisfied and used as indicators of whatever I am feeling. When I cry, my mother would always be in a rush to give me food only to find out that I have spoiled my diapers.
That is when I get to practice my emotional skills and make them better as time goes on. After being cradled for very long by different people and bring them trouble at first, I then began to be a little ease to them because of my ability to walk without the assistance of any body. And as part of growing up, I began to scratch my knee, my head and all other parts of my body because of my carelessness but of course, my parents does not blame me for this because they know I am just learning to do things on my own and I am prone to such wounds.
Also, at two years, I have already learned to utter words which for my parents are their most ecstatic time. This is the first time that they heard me call them “mom” and “dad” and my simple words made them very happy because they know that in a short time, I will begin to ask them questions, to tell me stories and interrogate them after they have arrived from work. I guess hearing your son or daughter speak for the very first time is one of the most high time for a parent. Of course babies do not have the ability to speak clearly but at least, I am able to utter a nearly-sounding word in addressing my parents.
This is also the same time that my parents have decided to enroll me to a preparatory school so that I could learn about things on the earliest days of my life. From there, I began to conceptualize about my own fantasy world. And at the same time make friends out of my own. I practiced independence from the time I entered school and little by little I came to polish my language and some of the talents which I haven’t discovered yet. After my preparatory school, I entered the formal school at age five.
From then on, I already had the knowledge to identify my difference with the boys in the class and my similarities with the other girls in our class. During this time, I came to love Barbie and hate guns as toys. I realized that guns are not for me but for the boys. My clothes then mostly are patterned after that of Barbie and pants are my best enemy. Also during this time, I learned how to act for my gender and age. I began to identify which are the things that I should and should not do so that when Christmas time comes, I will be receiving a gift from Santa Claus. My group of friends started to build up this time.
The peers I have are usually girls so that I could have someone to play Barbie with. The idea of entertaining boys into our circle did not cross our minds then and we consider them as our ultimate opponent in any kind of game there is known to us. On to middle childhood, I have already established a strong bond of friendship to other people. This time, I am open to having the opposite sex as my friends and that they are just the same as the girls are. I already have a deep sense of belongingness to the circle of friends I have had and that it is them who I turn to every time I am in a great trouble.
At the onset of this stage, I was able to fully embrace the idea of having talents and other capabilities apart from those that are taught in school. At this point in time, I also began to rate my self depending on how I perceive it and the way I look in front of the mirror. This time, I am fully conscious of what clothes I wear, the style of my hair and the way I carry my bag. Since then, I also tried to scrutinize my self in almost all aspects, this is also the time when I began to comparing the whole me to the other girls who are surrounding me.
Subsequently, since I feel that I am mature enough to handle on things, I began to consider working with other as a team and play as the leader so I could exercise my power above them. This is the same time where I began to acknowledge the fact that there is always no ‘I’ in the word ‘team’. Since I have reached the ripe age of 18, my parents and other people surrounding me have this perception that I am already a mature person and so, I was allowed to take things on my own hand and whatever consequence it may bring me, I will have to answer it all.
There is no need for me to seek the approval of my parents regarding the clothes I will wear and the kind of friends I will be joining with. The most important thing for me that time is my college degree and my future after finishing secondary school. Also, during this time I was able to experience different sexual relationships with the opposite gender. This is a significant leap in my formative years because with that, I am able to understand what older people have always been telling me.
At first I am reluctant to commit myself to such relationship due to the possibility that my parents would disapprove of the man and my other concern then was, the man’s intention of me and whether or not he will eventually break my heart. Emotions during this time are on a high because of the different kinds of phenomena that have transpired in my life. But these emotions, especially hatred, are kept with in my self because I am afraid that others will mock me for that. After graduating from college, I have formally gain independence from my parents and with that; I have to work so I could earn money for my own consumption.
This independence entails a bigger responsibility for me to do and I was challenged with its every bit. Upon learning such, I even became more excited to go out in to the world and try my luck in securing my self financially. And of course, I have clearly and sternly identified my gender and how I should be acting to show the world who I really am. Coming from several relationships, I have fully established the way people should see me and I should continue to hone that in case there will be time when I am again confused of my gender identity.
Another clear point that I have conceptualized that time is the path that I will take to become the person I want to be. This is the same time I have laid plans on which career I should be little by little achieving. I have programmed my self then that I am to become a writer. This is the only thing that I love to do and from that, I have long been dreaming to be known around the world as a wonderful writer. At this time I am still enjoying the kind of relationship I have with the opposite sex. More than the signature bags, dating boys after boys made me very happy.
This went on until I finally realized that at one point, I should be looking forward to settling with somebody who I know will take good care of me and will provide for me when we decide to live on our own. For a short span of time, the thought on being a magnate consumed me but this same idea flew away from my head as fast it entered. At the onset of my late 20’s and early 30’s life was wonderful. It was that time when I had an intimate relationship and was able to bear a child for my own. This is also the same time when I began to build a family of my own together with the man I have truly loved for all these years.
The happiness that I felt when I learned that I am to bear my first child is wonderful, I am almost speechless. Many thoughts lingered in to my mind and then came my fear on how to raise the child the way that my parents did with me. I should be responsible enough to handle all the things that my child needs to be able to grow up so well. My lifestyle has also changed after I got married. Many twists and turns happen especially during the early stages of my married life because my partner and I have to adjust on things and be considerate with the feelings of each other.
From the happy-go-lucky gal that I am, I became refined and more bound to go home straight after a tiring day at work. I would rather burn my hand while cooking dinner for my husband than to party all night and end being hooked with someone who I really do not want at all. Work then is not the kind I have dreamt of earlier, my work involves so much of my physical capability as well as the mental. I do not have the luxury to choose whatever work I want then because I know I have to help my husband to earn and save for our coming family.
It was like being carried by a strong wind in to a new place because there is no recourse, I believe, when I have promised my self to a man who dreams of nothing but good fortune for me and the family. This is the time when I have the most exciting and at the same time nerve-wracking experiences because of the fact that soon, I will have to build a family and raise children to become better persons and the future of the nation. Despite the age, I have managed to rekindle the intimacy that my partner and I have experienced a few years back.
There are times when I still date my husband and be left alone by our children. We take advantage of this time and make the best out of it. The feeling that we both have felt in our younger years was revived and the intimacy we subject our selves then are repeating despite the difference in physical features. Also, I tend to be more attached to my work and hold on to it until I am satisfied with the kind of results and performance I deliver. Even if there are times when I feel aches in my body, I still decide to report for work so that I can supervise the works that my subordinates render.
This way I also became more hands-on to the work that I have and not depend on the extent of my worker’s capability to do the job for me. I also try to become more attracted to work more than ever because the same work gives me a kind of superiority above my husband since I am earning money from my own hard work and this same money I use to finance the needs of the family whenever he is not around. Accordingly, I keep my self busy in fulfilling my role as a house maker to give my family a better place to live in and the environment are always conducive for their holistic growth.
I make it a point that what my family receive is the best for them and that I should not settle them to second rate meals and house to live at. According to studies, life begins at 50 and with me, it is real. Life took its 360 degree turn when I reached the age and with that I saw things on a different perspective, color and understanding. Since then I began to prepare myself that sooner our little house will also be an empty nest just like the way it is for my parents when I decided to marry the man I ought to live forever with.
On the later part of my life, I have managed to overcome the idea of caring for the relationship that I have established in the entire course of my longevity in this world. Then again, I also handled the kind of intimacy that my husband and I have long before felt which made us decide to start on building our own family. On the onset of my late adulthood life, I tend to become more fragile. I sometimes become a burden to my family for the time they have to take care of me every time I am sick. At this point, I also stopped working due to its complexities.
My family has commissioned someone to look after me everyday and help me take my medicines to prolong my life. Also, I began to accept that life for me is almost over and I am in the twilight zone of my life. Since I am spending most of my time at home with my grandchildren, I have perfected a new role in their eyes. I soon became their guarding light and source of inspiration. And it is also from them whom I draw courage and strength to proceed with life and accept the every day challenges that it has in store for me.
Also with that, I became more accustomed to being the fountain of knowledge in the perspective of my grandchildren as they try to test my mental and intellectual ability by asking me certain things about life and all other things there is that they would want to know about. Because of my old age, at night I tend to surrender my self to God and ask Him to prepare me for the upcoming battles that I have to take. My prayer also comes with the intention of asking Him to make my self an epitome of someone who will have eternal peace in His arms when the time comes that He has to take me out of this world.
All things that I need to surrender to God are all ready and that I am just waiting for His call to pick me up and give me the final rest that I have longed been waiting for. It is during this time when I ask Him to give me the courage to let go of everything that I have in possession including the family that I have built. This part of my life is devoted in intensifying the knowledge and memories that my family especially my grandchildren so that they would remember me even if I am not already with them.
For my part, I know that I have imbibed to them the different learning I have acquired during my developmental years which made me a better person. It will also be during this time when I have to secure all the things I have so that I can show the family I will be leaving behind that I love them so much and with that, I did everything to provide them with all the possible material things available for human kind. Aging has come to its fullest. At the very brittle age of 75, there is no way for me to work, manage a career or ever revive a dead intimate relationship.
With that comes the recognition of the physical changes that is attributable to my aging. White hairs and brittle bones have consumed me and I should be ready to receive my eternal rest anytime soon. This is also the same time that I experience looking back on all the things that had happened throughout my life and compare it with the generation that the world has currently produced. The simplicity of life then would be incomparable to the complexities of today but the learning that I have acquired then is definitely one of the most treasured knowledge that I have.
I always tend to look back on the things that make living then a happy and at the same time progressive life. Despite all the adversaries, I was able to come up with a different kind of perception to other people. I feel that I was able to leave a mark on their lives and this mark will forever be etched in to their minds that will not make them forget me. Life at that age does not need to be complicated and hard; instead it should be as memorable as possible so that memories will be stored in the minds of those who will be left behind. Life is beautiful and it is more beautiful if there are persons who make living each day worthwhile.