Every Person Needs Socialization

As humans, it is imperative that we are social. We need to do so to have healthy friendships, find mates, and become productive members of society.Every individual is unique, and there is not one correct way to be social, but it is still necessary for mental health. Everyone needs different ranges of social interaction, but there is still a necessary baseline that should be met. When someone doesn’t have relationships in their life, then they will try to reach out because loneliness motivates one to connect with others.

Negative changes in life cause people to be reminiscent of the past. An example of this is Holden Caulfield. Holden Caulfield is a great representation of an average teenager. He is struggling to find his place and grow up in a world that is tough and straining. After experiencing traumatic events and loss in his preteens, he is shipped off to boarding schools with no one to comfort him or help him. Because of this, Holden combats his loneliness by reminiscing about his childhood before it turned sour. We see this when Holden calls up Sally to go on a date. He mentions he knows her from years back, and rambles about his older thoughts about her and even calls her “old Sally”.

Although he hasn’t spoken to Sally in a very long time, Holden uses their history to comfort himself after a night previously ending with him explaining how he wanted to commit suicide. During their date on page 146, Holden requests, “What we could do is, tomorrow morning we could drive up to Massachusetts and Vermont, and all around there, see. It’s beautiful as hell up there. It really is.’ I was getting excited as hell, the more I thought about it, and I sort of reached over and took old Sally’s goddam hand.” (146) This action of reaching and grabbing Sally’s hand is symbolic of his yearning for connection and a feeling of belonging in someone’s life. Because of this infatuation, he cannot see how crazy or unrealistic his idea of running away is. His loneliness has caused him to jump for joy at the first sign of becoming connected with someone. This desire for childhood nostalgia is also a main cause for Holden’s immaturity, especially when he meets Luce at a bar.

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In this scene, Holden acts very immature and asks about Luce’s sex life because this is how their interactions occurred in the past. This is mentioned on page 161 when Luce says, “I refuse to answer any typical Caulfield questions tonight. When in hell are you going to grow up?” (161) Holden only knows Luce as a sexual deviant, and code switches in this conversation in hopes that they may strike up a connection. He fails to realize that people change over time and that immaturity can not last forever. He uses immaturity as a gateway to reach out to Luce and form a bond that he believes was there in the past. Holden also mentions, “He was strictly a pain in the ass, but he certainly had a good vocabulary. He had the largest vocabulary of any boy at Whooton when I was there. They gave us a test.” (165)

Holden talks about Luce like they were best buddies back at Whooton while their failure to reconnect at the bar tells us otherwise. Holden attempts to assert himself in a position of friendship and closeness in the past with Luce, although they were not as connected as he perceives. Holden does this so he can feel a sense of belonging in someone’s life. It makes him feel less isolated because he would have a solid part in the life of another person that isn’t considered “phony.” Holden desires this feeling of importance with another person because his isolation causes self deprecation.

Loneliness for a prolonged period of time results in desperation for human connection. Holden has not been truly alone, but he hasn’t had any deep connections since he has been with Jane or Phoebe, and he is emotionally bottled up. This leads him to search for relationships in very peculiar ways. An example of this is the interaction between Holden and his taxi driver. Holden tries to strike up a conversation, but the driver is direct and cold with him. It is clear that the driver has no interest in Holden, and just wants to take him to his next destination.

Although it may be clear for the reader to see, Holden is so desperate for connection that he will take anyone that he doesn’t classify as a complete phony. On page 68 Holden asks, “Would you care to stop on the way and join me for a cocktail? On me I’m loaded.’ ‘Can’t do it, Mac. Sorry.’ He certainly was good company. Terrific personality.” (68) The sarcasm that Holden uses to describe this driver is a way for him to mask his emotions. Holden is in a very dark place, and the desperation that is needed to ask strangers to hang out with him in exchange for paying their tab is embarrassing, even more so when faced with rejection.

Holden uses the sarcasm to numb the isolation and loneliness that he is feeling. We see this numbing with jokes also on page 169, after Holden asks another stranger, who happens to be old enough to be his mother, on a date. This happens after Holden’s failed connection with Sally, and he is feeling more lonely than ever at this point in the book. His desperation for a meaningful relationship drives him to flirt with the first woman he meets because he mentions she “was very nice”. (169) After his offer is refused because of age, he says, “I showed her my goddam gray hair and told her I was forty-two-I was only horsing around, naturally.” (169)

Although it is meant to be a joke, the meaning is quite transparent (and humiliating). It is a desperate attempt to get her to say yes, and shows that Holden’s self image and happiness is at an all time low. On the contrary, Holden’s loneliness allows him to show some morality. Holden orders a prostitute in chapter 13 and sees her as a human being, not just a prostitute. Instead of engaging in physical acts, he asks, “‘Don’t you feel like talking for a while?’ I asked her. It was a childish thing to say, but I was feeling so damn peculiar.’ ‘I just thought perhaps you might care to chat for a while’” (106).

While Holden talks about sex and girls many times throughout the book, he realizes that engaging in activity with this girl has no meaning. Because of his want for connection and relationships, he sees how disgusting and meaningless that sex would be. This is why he mentions that it was childish to say but that he felt peculiar. Although his intentions are pure with the prostitute, she becomes angry and leaves. This becomes a pattern, as Holden’s loneliness and desperation causes him to search for connections in the most diverse people, and his desperation is only met with refusal and harshness.

To conclude, I will cite science. People need each other. When people are lonely, neurons in the brain are stimulated, which causes a feeling of loneliness. This occurs because our ancestors required a community of people to survive and thrive. In today’s society isolation can lead to mental health issues, and so this instinct of loneliness is still a very crucial piece of biology. This is why I believe that as people we should be courteous to others, especially those who are alone, because they need others’ support the most. If we help people in need, then no one will have to walk the same path of self-destruction as Holden Caulfield.

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