Last Updated 03 May 2023

A Narrative of My Denial of the Challenges in My Present Life

Category Challenges
Essay type Narrative
Words 516 (2 pages)
Views 2

Denial is something that gets me thinking a lot. I am not in denial, I don't even have anything to be in denial about right now! Life is great; college is going well, I keep in touch with my friends, have my family around me, and my whole future ahead of me. However, that's just on the surface, because I know that when I take a deeper look into things I notice the different problems and conflicts that I face on the daily. Turns out, I am in denial after all and it concerns a big conflict.

My greatest challenge right now is assimilation and adaptation to the new environment, although I don't like to admit that. College is actually harder than I allow myself to think it is, and that is where my denial comes in. I keep convincing myself that this is just a temporary stage and that the amount of work will reduce, I keep telling myself that I can stick to my habits and I'll be fine, but deep down inside I know that I won't. I know that I need to make some drastic changes to some of my daily routines, otherwise, I will be in great trouble.

I need to start planning ahead, and when I do, I need to give certain tasks and subjects more time than I normally do. I always have this positive outlook that I will finish everything on time and everything will be okay. That's why I begin to worry about things the last second, and I hate it, because I get caught by surprise often. I am only now starting to realize that summer is over indeed and serious work has begun. My chemistry, biology, English, and seminar classes aren't a joke. They matter, and every single little thing I do counts. I need to dedicate more time to understanding and make studying a habit. It will affect me in the future, and I realize that, but I choose to ignore it, and that is in fact denial.

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I believe that my denial arises from fear, the fear that I have to change my ways, the fear that I will have to go out of my comfort zone to succeed, the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown. Obviously it's easier for me to hide in my shell like a coward and not face the reality, but that is not the right thing to do. My emotions are shaken up right now because everything is not rainbows and butterflies as it seemed to be, and I am facing an issue that needs to get resolved, otherwise its consequences will affect me negatively in many different ways. I know that I am capable of changing myself and I know that I have to do so in order not to be engulfed in stress. I've done it before and I am used to working hard, but I have to work harder and plan smarter.

Did this narrative just help me take the first step in dealing with my denial- admitting that I have it?

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