Satirical Essay on Facebook

Facebook and MySpace are one of the many social networking tools that teens use to communicate. Many spend most of their day browsing other teen’s profiles and updating their own. After all, having a cool profile page and lots of friends is very important in showing off your cyber social status. I don’t like to boast, but Tila Tequila accepted me as her friend on MySpace. I leave her comments fairly often and I’m hoping that one day she will actually reply! Although she has almost 1,000,000 friends, I’m convinced she visits my profile often. We have never had a real conversation but I read her bulletins all the time.

I know she is always aware of my updated status and I am positive that’s why she never comments. I myself have about 200 friends. I have only had real conversations with about 50 of them, the rest are people I have spoken to once or twice in my life. Of course I have many other music and movie stars, in addition to Tila Tequila. They are really good at keeping in touch with me thru bulletins. Being constantly made aware of my friends status updates such as, “I am going to an awesome party tonight”, or “Today was such a good day”, puts me ahead of the crowd.

I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t know what my friends were doing every minute of every day. Like everything else, there are some downsides to MySpace and Facebook. The biggest problem I have encountered is what to do when someone I know, but don’t like adds me as a friend. I occasionally get friend requests from strange people who I met once, but am glad I have never seen again. The problem occurs when they add me as a friend and I don’t want to accept them. Not accepting a person is another way of telling them you don’t like them.

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However, if you accept them you risk having a long and awkward conversation with someone you don’t like. I guess this is just a problem you have to overcome when maintaining your virtual life. On the brightside, there are many upsides to MySpace and Facebook. You can use programs to remove pimples from your face when uploading your pictures. You can look at the extremely useful surveys people take and find out their favorite band, what their favorite food is, how long they shower for, and many other important facts.

You can fake your identity and get pictures of really good looking people with nice cars and claim they are you so you can become really popular. You can even stay in your room for 7 hours straight and not get bored! I truly feel that Facebook is “a place for friends”. It is friends who have too much time to remain online each day. This realization comes to me very sadly, however, as I do enjoy reading about how Tila Tequila’s day is going. Maybe one day she will come to the same realization and we can have a conversation in the real world.

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