The Parent-Child Relationship in Richard Wilbur’s the Writer

One of the most awesome and bittersweet rays in life is being a parent, From the day of conception, parents are responsible for the growth and development of their children, The sweet pan of being a parent is the strong emotional connection that one forms with his/ her child, and the lasting impressron that a parent has on a child. The bitter part of being a parent, however, is coming to terms with a childs independence. Though every child must someday branch out and find his or her own way, the idea of letting go is one of the most difficult and painful matters that a parent can ever experience. It is. however, inevitable. Children begin life as innocent little creatures ready to be molded by their parents and other outside Influences: then they develop into complex individuals With their own minds, desires, and styles. In his poem, The Writer, Richard Wilbur explores a parents reaction to the reality of his/her childs independence Naomi Long Madgett, in her poem, Offspring, also exposes the veracity of a parent coming to terms.

With the idea that her daughter is no longer a child, but an autonomous young woman, Although both poems demonstrate the harsh realities of a child's coming-of-age. Wilbur and Madgett present two different attitudes about a parents reluctance to step back and allow his/her child to leave their parental realm of safety, The tone in Wilburs, The Writer. suggests that the speaker is reluctant to let go, but proud of what his daughter has become. However. the speaker in Offspring appears to be content with her daughter's chorces, and not so sure about whether or not her daughter Will make the right decisions. In his poem, The Writer, Richard Wilbur reveals a very close relationship between parent and child. At the forefront of the poem Wilbur Writes: In her room at the prow of the house/ Where light breaks, and the Windows are tossed With Iinden/ My daughter is writing a story (1-3), The prow of a boat is the Ioremost part. the projection of a vessel.

The parent has placed the daughter in the forefront room of the home, and symbolically In the same position in his life. This symbol demonstrates the importance of the child to the home, Although the gender of the parent is never revealed in the poem, Wilbur leads the audience to believe that the speaker is a father. Fathers are generally emotionally close to their daughters, but physically distant. Once a girl becomes a woman, fathers tend to retreat, respecting a daughters space and coming of age. Although the speaker suggests many things that reveal a close relationship with the child. the physical distance is also evident in the poem. The parent is at a closed door listening to the sound of the daughter typing in her room. The door is a barrier, both physical and communicative, between the parent and the child. The close relationship between this parent and this child is demonstrated in other ways.

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Young as she is, the stuff] Of her life is a great cargo, and some of It heavy:/ I Wish her a lucky passage (7-9). The parent says this confidently, as if he must know what is going on in the daughters life. This undoubtedly implies that even though the speaker is behind a closed door. a line of communication still exists between parent and child Furthermore, the parent seems to be very involved In the childs life because he knows the scope of the daughters trials. He refers to the problems as heavy, and demonstrates genuine concern for her. The tone of the poem reveals the speakers sadness about the newfound distance between him and his daughter, how proud hers of what his daughter is becoming, and fear for what she Will encounter in her life. The parent compares her to a bird that was trapped in her room two years before: I remember the dazed starling Which was trapped in that very room, two years ago: How we stole in. lifted a sash And retreated. not to affright it: (16719)

The Visual image in this passage suggests that the child is attempting to break free as her parents sadly watch from a distance. She is ready to fly tree iust as the dazed starting was when it was trapped in the room of their home. The auditory imagery in the poem suggests that the daughters independence is the main focus of the poem. Words like: stillness. silence, and thinking - clash with a bunched clamor of strokes (14-15). In fact, the only sounds in the poem come from the daughters typing, and the imagery that the speaker uses to describe her. Though the situation is very difficult for the speaker to endure, the entire poem demonstrates a parents pride and love for his maturing daughter.

In her poem. Offspring. Madgett Illustrates a much different type of relationship between parent and child. The parent in this work does not seem as close to her daughter as the parent In The Writer. The gender of the parent is not mentioned In this poem either: however. the content and situation of this poem suggest that the speaker is a mother. Mothers tend to be more directly involved in their children's lives. Even after their children reach adulthood. mothers instinctively maintain their positions, and are more reluctant to let go. The speaker says things like: tried to tell her: and I wanted to say. suggesting that the parent still wants to maintain her parental status. Moreover. the parent in this poem is unyielding In her pursuit to make her daughter become what she will have her to become: I tried to tell her: This way the twig is bent. Born of my trunk and strengthened by my roots.

You must stretch new grown branches Closer to the sun Than I can reach. (1-6) Madgett uses the words tell and must which are not very flexible, It is as if the parent is speaking about or giving orders to a young child rather than considering what her child may want to become. Mothers and daughters usually have either very close relationships or very distant ones Mothers tend to want daughters to emulate them. and oftentimes. when daughters attempt to dance to their own rhythms. mothers may sometimes take offense. The parent in this poem seems to be agitated at the daughter's resistance to the dreams that she has for her. The tone very serious and authoritative. and makes the relationship seem strained. Madgett illustrates this strained relationship in the structure of the poem. While Wilbur uses the phrase my daughter in his work. Madgett uses only pronouns such as she or her indicating the lack of intimacy in the relationship.

To further convey the concept of the uneasy relationship between mother and daughter. Madgett writes: But the twig broke. And yesterday I saw her Walking down an unfamiliar street. Feet confident Face slanted upward toward a threatening sky. (10-14) The image of the IWig represents the daughter. a part of the tree. (the speaker). who watches her daughter's individuality ripen. It is obvious that the speaker wants to live her life vicariously through her daughter. but her daughter rejects this notion, I wanted to say:/ Extend my self to that far atmosphere/ only my dreams allow (7»9). The mother feels that because the daughter is the product of her ancestry and abilities she should pick up the torch and complete the race that she had begun when she was her daughter's age; whereas, the daughter wants to venture out on her own. But the tWig broke. (10) The dramatic imagery in this line demonstrates the daughter's refusal to live life on her mother's terms.

The discontentment of the parent is consistent throughout the piece. and Madgetts symbolisms reveal the parent's turmoil. Both works have captured different facets of the bittersweet sentiments of parenting. It seems easier for the parent in The Writer to deal with his daughter coming of age. as his daughter follows his footsteps in becoming a writer. The parent has a passion for writing that had. momentarily. grown quiescent. but is renewed through the daughter. It is not as easy. however. for the parent in Offspring to accept her childs choices. as she becomes someone much different from what her mother had imagined. The endings of both poems reveal the parents undying love for their children and their desire to see them prosper.

Wilbur writes: It is always a matter. my darling./ Of life or death. as I have forgotten, I Wish/ What l Wished you before, but harder (31733). Madgett writes: And/ she was smiling/ and she was! her very lree, her very IndivrdualJ unpliable/selt (15721). Regardless of the roads that these daughters may choose, and whether or not the parents agree With the choices they make. the parents in both poems exhibit unconditional love and support for the children who prepare to leave the nest in search of their own individuality. Parenting is a skill that is acquired through trial and error; it requires constant change, growth, and learning. Perhaps the most difficult thing to conquer in parenting is learning how to let go. Some parents have a tougher time than others. but they all must conquer that hurdle; for all birds must someday leave the nest.

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