Is marriage out of style? What is the most popular topic of girls? The answer to the question is “love and marriage”. It’s true. Almost all of girls hope Mr. Right would appear with “glass slipper” next second. As a girl, I have taken part in lots of talks about marriage with same-aged girls. However, my cousin is an exception. I had to listen to her “Single Theory” whenever I mentioned the imagination of marriage. She said, “Marriage is out of date. It will be not necessary anymore. ” At that time, I was too young to distinguish whether she is right.
As I grew up, I found that most people debate marriage from the following five aspects: Is marriage just a form of commitment? Would cohabitation replace it? Is marriage the tomb of love? Does it lead people to lose freedom? Whether marriage is still necessary as women have been more and more independent? To begin with, as with women becoming more and more independent, many of them get the same idea as Caroline. On BBC News, she says that women have been changing their values and increasing independence recently.
They get their own jobs and have enough ability to support themselves; therefore, Caroline thinks it’s no need for women to get married. (Caroline, 1997). It seems true in this aspect, while I prefer Rich Rivers’ viewpoint. For the question “Do independent women need a permanent man or marriage” on the home page of Helium, he responds that a woman needs a man in her life to talk with and she “needs a shoulder to lean on and cry on” whether she is independent or not. (Rich Rivers, 2006). Personally speaking, becoming independent is a good thing; however, it doesn’t mean independent women don’t need marriage or stable life.
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Independence aside, freedom after marriage is also one of the issues people worry about, especially for men. According to James Walsh in his essay “Why People Don’t Want to Get Married”, he mentions that marriage kills freedom. You have to give up parties and report to your “spouse” that “where you are at a particular time and how long will it be before you reach home”. (James Walsh). Yes, marriage adds another person to your life and “places you a huge responsibility on your shoulders”; nevertheless, every coin has two sides. In Michael G.
Lawer’s essay “Changing Catholic Models of Marriage”, he writes that spending time on your “spouse” can improve your “mutual relationship”. (Michael G. Lawler, 2001). You can share the happiness and sorrow with him or her, which lightens your burden. From this viewpoint, I don’t think marriage is the killer of freedom. Besides independence and freedom, both men and women believe marriage out of date because it is the grave of love. In Zhao Xu’s essay “Marriage is the Grave of Love”, he writes “Marriage is the manifestation of love when two people are just getting married, and it is a killer of love as well when they have got married. (Zhao Xu, 2009). I believe with no doubt until I saw PS & SR Branch Welfare Services Group’s essay “Family Life Education Series-Why do we get married nowadays”. In this essay, it states that love exists between the two people all along. They feel dull because they completely “expose” themselves after marriage. (PS & SR Branch Welfare Services Group). For my part, marriage just reflects people’s natural personalities and makes life more realistic. It cannot be regarded as the grave of love. Cohabitation is also a thing that affects people’s viewpoints about marriage.
Statistics supplied by Nation statistics show that from 1996 to 2006, the proportion of married-couple families decreased from 76 percent to 71 percent, while the cohabitating rate increased to 14 percent from 9 percent. (Nation statistics, 2007). Another statistic showed by Hewitt Belinda, “In Australia, the proportion of marriages preceded by cohabitation has risen from 30% in the 1980s to around 75% in 2003. ”(Hewitt Belinda, 2006). It seems that cohabitation may take the place of marriage in the future.
On the contrary, in the essay of Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman, Has Being Married Gone Out of Style, they point out that couples just cohabitates before they married; they will get marry ultimately. ( Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman, 2006). As far as I’m concerned, cohabitating before marriage can lower the divorce rate. It indicates that cohabitation can be a step of marriage, but cannot replace it. The last thing is the commitment, which is ignored as the increasing rate of divorce. On the BBC News, Lissa Hynes says marriage is going out of fashion because it is just a form. Lisa Haynes, 1999). Deep down, I disagree with her statement and support the superiority of the idea of Kelly Knowles. On the same home page of BBC News, she says that marriage means the “permanent relationship” and it declares your happy life to others. (Kelly Knowles, 1999). In my opinion, besides this, marriage is also the protection for each side of the couple. It’s not just a form. After getting so many ideas, have you already got a better perception of marriage? Well, I have. Everyone needs a stable marriage, and so do independent women.
To some extent, an independent woman needs much more care from a man than others. Marriage doesn’t bind you; as long as you deal it properly, you’ll realize how wonderful marriage is. Marriage represents not only a form of commitment but also an approach to show your happy life and a safeguard for your love. A high divorce rate means people want to have a high-quality marriage rather than living together without love. Marriage doesn’t kill your love; it reflects the truth of love. It is a filter, and only the true love family can remain romance forever. By seeing this, you may ask “why don’t cohabitate”.
Imagine you’re a parent. If your daughter fell in love with a guy who refuses to marry her, but just lives with her, would you feel relieved to let them together? Absolutely not! Is cohabitation all right before marriage? Maybe, but your bottom line must be making sure that your daughter has a stable and happy marriage. As I mentioned before, cohabitation has a good effect on marriage, but it cannot replace it. Indeed, different people have different opinions. It doesn’t matter if you still think marriage is not necessary anymore. Time and experience will tell you the truth.
Do you remember my cousin who vows solemnly to be single? She has already got married and had a lovely baby. Isn’t it the most wonderful life? Marriage is destiny, and it won’t be out of style forever!
- Caroline. (1997). BBC News. Retrieved April 1, 2009, from http://news. bbc. co. uk/2/hi/talking_point/33312. stm
- Hewitt Belinda. (2006). ‘Trial Marriage’: Is premarital cohabitation an effective risk minimization strategy for marriage breakdown? Retrieved April 11, 2009, from http://eprints. qut. edu. au/6134/1/Hewitt_FIN. pdf
- James Walsh. Why People Don’t Want to Get Married. Retrieved April 3, 2009, from http://www. rightarticle. com/Article/Why-People-Don-t-Want-to-Get-Married-/67388
- Kelly Knowles. (1999). BBC News. Retrieved April 1, 2009, from http://news. bbc. co. uk/1/hi/talking_point/452257. stm
- Lisa Haynes. (1997). BBC News. Retrieved April 1, 2009, from http://news. bbc. co. uk/2/hi/talking_point/33312. stm
- Michael G. Lawler. (2001). Changing Catholic Models of Marriage. Retrieved April 3, 2009, from http://www. americamagazine. org/content/article. cfm? article_id=1796
- Nation statistics. (2009). Overview of Families. Retrieved April 11, 2009, from http://www. statistics. gov. uk/cci/nugget. asp? id=1865
- Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman. (2006). Has Being Married Gone Out of Style. Retrieved April 11, 2009, from http://www. time. com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1547431,00. html? cnn=yes
- PS & SR Branch Welfare Services Group. Family Life Education Series-Why do we get married nowadays. Retrieved April 3, 2009, from http://www. police. gov. hk/offbeat/849/eng/f01. htm
- Rich Rivers. Helium. Retrieved April 5, 2009, from http://www. helium. com/items/1412961-do-independent-women-need-a-permanent-man-or-marriage
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