Family and Unaffected Manner

This is an excellent way to introduce a discussion ot a person who has influenced you significantly. Instead of launching immediately into a list of this man's excellent qualities and admirable accomplishments, this introduction lays the foundation for a comprehensive look at just why the man had such a profound Impact on you. It also places the most Importance on the American Dream, as Is fitting In an essay Ilke this one Art Is e reflection of one's self-identity In the most unaffected manner. Because art is very personal, it has no right or wrong. The type of art that has influenced me most is music.

The first two sentences in this introduction set the kind of tone you want to maintain throughout your essay: Introspective and creative. However, It moves on to a very boring and stilted structure in the third sentence. To keep the tone creative, you could replace that sentence with the following: "Although artistic expression can take many forms, It Is music that has captivated me. "

Who Am l?

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My name is . My ethnic background explains a lot ot who I am, and the values that I have developed. My name was chosen using a religious method that is  based on astrology. My parents are both from India and moved here only a couple of years before I was born. They spoke little English, and as a result, I was taught Gujarati as a first language. I grew up with a large family because my parents, grandparents, and my uncle's family all lived In the same house. Growing up In this environment helped mold me into the man that I have become today. My family is religious and we went to the temple every week. Even as a child I attended temple schooling where they taught us about our heritage, which in turn educated me about where I came from.

However, now I am not that religious and don't go to the temple because believe It s becoming corrupted. My family and my parents In particular, provided me with the morals that I hold to be true. am very grateful of the way my parents brought me up. They always told me do to others ds you would Ilke them to do toyou. That phrase is what I keep in mind be never encountered the type of adversity that can crush people, that can drive people crazy, that can drive them to suicide.

This introduction is indeed compelling, but it raises important questions about appropriate content. Be careful to avoid writing a personal essay that Is far too personal. You do not want your reader to think that you might have character weaknesses that prevent you from handling stressful situations well. I chuckle to myself every time think about this. I am perceived as a mil

Did the first sentence of this introduction confuse you?

This was no doubt its intention. By creating a little mystery in the first sentence, the reader is forced to keep reading and keep wondering, "what is this kid's secret? " until the final word, which pops in the reader's mind, sort of like a gunshot: "riflery".

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