ence womanPlease discuss the relationship between desire and permission to have sex. Is desire necessary for permission? Is permission necessary for desire? What if someone is torn between having desire but not permission—what recourse does he or she have? To see the relationship between desire and permission to have sex I would like to start with ‘desire’, so what is desire – its sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome. Desire is the fire that sets action aflame.
When a person desires something or someone, their sense of longing is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of the item or person, and they want to take actions to obtain their goal. I think the relationship between desire and sex, is a sexual desire that involves the lustful, sexually passionate feelings people have for each other. Sexual desire is a very intense and powerful emotion; it can cloud one’s judgmental and prompt risk-taking. For example, man’s sexual desire is typically omnipresent, ready to spring into action at the slightest hint of a sexual encounter.
His desire is, for all practical purposes, an automatic response, requiring nothing more than suggestion. His goal is sexual gratification; most typically, self-gratification and his thoughts generally are of pleasure rather than intimacy and relationship. If to talk about women…we are complex beings. We differ greatly from men and even between ourselves when it comes to feeling and experiencing sexual desire. If we are to comprehend the true nature of our sexual desire, we must appreciate the role of the female sex standard.
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Our sexual desire lies deep within our souls; slumbering, awaiting an awakening that requires a specific degree of commitment and psychic receptivity on behalf of our partner. It is anything but automatic. Our goal is intimacy, relationship, and ultimately, transformation of our lover. Our thoughts too are of pleasure, but in a different context—we relish pleasure, not so much for itself, but for the transformation it brings to our partner. In my opinion desire doesn’t need permission or permission for desire.
Your desire…the longing to do and act…is all the permission you need. The moment that the wanting of a new, more delicious form of expression rears its glorious head, you have all the permission you will ever need. Willingness and permission must be communicated clearly and unambiguously. Just because a person fails to resist sexual desires does not mean that s/he is willing, and that’s when the person have to find other resources like, fantasizing, masturbating or having a nocturnal orgasms (orgasm during sleep) .
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