Last Updated 23 Jun 2020

Should Homosexuals Be Allowed to Marry?

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Gay marriage is a sensitive topic in America today, mainly because we Americans are split down the middle between supporting it and not supporting it. My main concern, and main reason for supporting gay marriage, has always been “who is it hurting? ” The main reason I hear for not supporting them would be because they cannot reproduce. There are many reasons why gay marriage should or should not be legal and they are different in everyone’s eyes.

I believe that gay marriage would follow a utilitarian principle and fall under relativism and even though they cannot have children, gay marriage should be legal because there would be higher adoption rates, it is a civil right, and they are human beings. First, Gay marriage should be legal because there would be higher adoption rates.

Craig, Martinez, Kane, and Gainous (2005) quotes “Support for the civil rights and liberties of homosexuals has risen as well: Most Americans now believe that gays should be permitted to teach in colleges and universities, to serve in the military, and that there should be laws banning discrimination against gays in hiring and firing, while over 40 percent are willing to allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt children. ” (p. 5). America is slowly becoming more acceptable of gay and lesbian rights as well as allowing them to adopt and marry in some states. This doesn’t mean that every state in the U.

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S. is allowing this, and the question is why? People are afraid of the downfall that may occur in our population rates if more gay and lesbian couples are allowed to marry. This though, is not the case. I believe that there would be a spike in adoption rates. If you take into account the fact that there are hundreds probably even thousands of kids out there without having a home, and knowing that heterosexuals couples are more likely to have their own kids instead of adopting, and you will not be okay with our gay and lesbian community to marry and adopt those kids in need, is beyond me.

Brian, part of a Films Media Group, film (2005) talks about his two fathers, he says “Everything I hoped for came true when Murray and Peter became my parents. I love them, I loved them for making my lunches each day as I left for school, and I loved them for caring about my thoughts and ideas. I loved them for making me feel special. ” (Marriage for Homosexual Parents). This is not the only person who would testify that their parents (whether gay or straight) are not only loving but supportive of everything they do. A parent is a parent, no matter if it is a man and woman, man and man, or woman and woman.

They go through same things that everyone would go through. The terrible twos, the potty training, waking up at all hours of the night, this list could go on and on but, because homosexuals are with someone of the same sex, they are now unfit to be parents. How this makes anyone an unfit parent, is beyond me. Parenting is about loving and supporting your child, no matter what the situation is. Gay and Lesbian parents are also going to be more supportive if their child ends up being gay or lesbian whereas straight couples are more likely to be disappointed or upset with their children.

Arguably, it is safe to say that the more accepting we, as Americans, become of our gay and lesbian couples, and their adopting children, the less homeless kids, and the happier people we will have! Additionally, it is their civil right. I do not see how it is right that heterosexual couples have every right that Americans should have whereas homosexual couples are limited on their civil rights, regardless that they are Americans, because they date someone of the same sex. How can we as people and the government as well, truly deny a United States citizen their civil rights, which they were born into?

Honestly, that is an outrage, and I for one am not okay with the fact that we can simply deny someone rights. I am sure that any other United States citizen wouldn’t be okay with their rights being taken away from them, so what gives us the right to take them away from anybody else? Maybe we should take everyone else’s rights away to marry and see if they think that this is acceptable to do. Yes, marriage may be just a piece of paper, but we are truly denying someone that paper that would make them the happiest person alive?

Ferguson (2007) quotes “So, one common argument for gay marriage is that government denial of the legal right to gay marriage deprives gays and lesbians of access to the social sanction and status that marriage confers, and hence to full adulthood, rights to familial or joint property and inheritance rights, and full citizenship” (p. 40). How is it right that they are denied the right to marry just because of who they chose to be with? One of my favorite sayings (I actually heard at a gay pride festival in Ohio) came from a couple, they said “Why do we not get the choice to marry?

Shouldn’t everyone have a choice to be miserable for the rest of their lives with the one person who actually makes them a little bit happier? ” Honestly, it is so true; there are gay and lesbian couples who have been together for 30+ years who do not get the option to get married to their lifetime partner, where straight couples get married for a couple of years just to divorce and re marry again. I am not saying that all United States citizens do this, but our divorce rates have spiked recently, meaning that more and more people are divorcing.

I do believe if we allowed gay and lesbian couples the right to marry, the divorce rates would drop instead of increasing each year. Ferguson (2007) also quotes “Refusing the right to gay marriage because of the so-called sanctity of marriage, a religious concept, would seem to deprive the sexual minority of the freedom to be free to marry if they choose a lifestyle not sanctioned by many religious denominations, and hence imposes the religious view that marriage should be a heterosexual privilege. ” (p. 40). People are also against same sex marriage due to their religious views.

There are so many different religions in the United States, and many of those support their people in whatever choice they decide to make but because we are a predominately Christian country, we are forced to follow their rules. I do not see how someone’s religion can make a choice concerning someone else’s life and what they chose to do with it. These two quotes made by Ferguson explain perfectly why the government is denying same sex marriage; it is completely unconstitutional that they are denying gay and lesbian couples of their constitutional rights to marry.

Another reason that gay marriage should be legal is that they are human beings. If I am thinking correctly, many people were born here in the United States, and would be considered Americans, but since they chose to like someone of the same sex then they are instantly treated like aliens. I, myself, am straight and therefore get treated like every other person would. I have many gay and lesbian friends, and when we are out in public, you can see the difference on how they get treated and looked at versus myself. It sickens me to think that people how there can be so rude and inconsiderate of another person.

Kurdek (2004) quotes “As one indication of the importance of identifying oneself as part of a couple, some gay and lesbian citizens of the United States are currently arguing that they, just like heterosexual citizens, are entitled to the privileges associated with having their relationships, legalized as marriages. ” (p. 880). Our gay and lesbian couples are considering themselves citizens, but without all the benefits that citizens receive. I don’t understand why we cannot treat them with the same respect that we treat anyone else. There is no need to punish them for who they are dating.

It is a matter of privacy as well. We do not concern ourselves with who straight couples are dating/living with, why do we need to invade others privacy just because they are with someone of the same sex. Everyone has the right to be happy, to have a job, and to get married. Homosexual couples, who are legal citizens of the United States, are getting treated like they are aliens because of their sexual orientation. How is it that we can treat heterosexuals with the upmost respect that they deserve then turn right around and treat homosexuals like trash?

I do not see how that is fair or correct at all and knowing that we as Americans do not have enough respect for other individuals. A few reasons that people do not support gay marriage would be that their religion is strongly against marriage of homosexuals or the fact that homosexuals cannot reproduce children of their own. Many people truly believe that because the bible says it is wrong to be with someone of the same sex, that our gay and lesbian couples are sinning. It is also true though that Jesus said he loves everyone, and will forgive every one of their sins.

I personally do not believe that homosexuals are sinning because of who they date, but there are many people out there that do. We must remember that when Jesus was living things were a lot less complex than they are in today’s time. I believe if things had been what they are now, back then, that he would be accepting of any child, no matter what person they decide to be with. People are also against same sex marriage due to the fact that gay and lesbian couples cannot reproduce children of their own.

They believe that since they are not able to reproduce any children of their own, that they would be an unfit couple, and we wouldn’t have as much youth to keep our country going. This to me is not true though. There are many people who are willing to surrogate, adopt, or even go to a sperm donor to reproduce children of their own. Just because the kids would not have a “father or mother” figure in their lives does not mean that they cannot reproduce. So many kids need adopted that you would think it would be a great idea to let our homosexual couples adopt them!

But, these reasons alone are what turn so many people against gay marriage. People let their religion and their beliefs get in the way to see that it is about happiness and a lifetime commitment not about religion or kids. Utilitarian Principles basically means choices, which to me would fit perfectly with our gay and lesbian couples, in a way that they would benefit from it. Mosser (2010) defines utilitarianism as a “given set of choices, the act we should choose is that which produces the best results for the greatest number affected by that choice. ” (p. 1. ). To me, a utilitarian believes that we should base our results on the greater good, and what would produce the greatest outcome and affect very few people by the outcome produced. I do not see how letting our gay and lesbian couples marry would truly affect anyone else. When a heterosexual couple gets married, that decision is theirs and theirs alone. No one is affected by this decision, minus the families of course, and no one seems to care that they are going to pursue a life of happiness together. How would this be any different from our homosexual couples?

The only parties that would truly be affected by this decision would be the couple themselves, and their families and friends. It is truly no one else’s business on what they do and how they spend their lives, but somehow we have managed to make it our business. Americans have gotten so worked up over gay marriage, and for what, a piece of paper that says two people are committed to each other? I do not understand why we have the right to deny someone that. To me, utilitarianism would be the perfect resolution for our homosexual couples, and their right to marry whoever they please.

Finally, I feel that relativism is a great way to explain the individuals in a gay or lesbian relationship. Mosser (2010) defines relativism as “the idea that one’s beliefs and values are understood in terms of one’s society, culture, or even one’s own individual values. ” (p. 1. 8). What relativism means to me is that each individual’s beliefs and values are going to be honored. As you can see, our homosexual couples are getting their beliefs and values thrown to the curb and for what reason?

I think that people are afraid of what could happen, which is why they are extremely against it, and why our gay and lesbian couples beliefs and values get thrown aside like they never existed. People believe that homosexual couples should not have the same rights as us and that they do not share our beliefs and values. To me, I believe that these people, who think that, are the ones that do not have the same beliefs and values. Everyone has the right to be happy, to have a job, and to get married.

How is it that because you like someone of the same sex, that your values and beliefs automatically don’t matter? Relativism would play a perfect role in a gay and lesbian couple’s life, as if people followed the definition or relativism, then everyone would live a happy, peaceful life. All in all homosexual couples have been getting bullied since they first came out. You would think that people would finally start calming down and realizing that they are people who, just like me and you, fall in love with someone and want to spend the rest of their lives with them.

It’s sad to know that if one of them gets sick or injured and is admitted to the hospital that their lifetime partner would not be allowed in the room because they are not related to them, even though they may have been together for years. They get no benefits that a regularly married couple would get and get looked down upon society, some even losing their jobs over it. We are treating human beings like animals because they fell in love with someone of the opposite sex.

People always say that you cannot help who you fall in love with, but apparently they are only talking about heterosexual couples and believe that homosexuals have a choice and that they have made a wrong one. Friends and family of mine, who are gay, have had the roughest life with all the hatred that they have received. My best friend lost his job due to the fact that he came out as being gay. I do not understand how someone can get fired over their sexual orientation. He has received multiple messages online telling him how horrible he was and that Jesus hates him.

There are people out there who actually do this, send hate mail to people over their sexual orientation. It is high time that people take a step back and realize that it is time to get over their hate and fear of our homosexual community and come together as one. If this happened, in my opinion, the world would become just a little bit better and maybe all of these hate crimes would stop and people would all get treated with the respect that they deserve to get. Until then I am going to continue standing my ground, in my supports of gay marriage and equality for all!

In conclusion, even though gay and lesbian couples may not be able to have hildren of their own, marriage between the couples should be legalized because more children would be adopted, it is their constitutional right as a United States citizen, and they are human beings just like you and me. I also feel that this topic would fall under utilitarianism as well as relativism as these two topics would give our gay and lesbian couples the right to be happy and marry their loved one, just like we do now! Just imagine having a child of your own, and they ended up being gay or lesbian. They would go their whole lives with nothing but hatred from everyone, and is that really how you would want your child to live?


Craig, S., Martinez, M., Kane, J., Gainous, J. (2005). Core Values, Value Conflict, and Citizens’ Ambivalence about Gay Rights. Political Research Quarterly. 58(1), 5-17. Retrieved from Ferguson, A. (2007). Gay Marriage: An American and Feminist Dilemma. Hypatia. 22(1), 39-57. Retrieved from Films Media Group. (2005). Why thee wed? Gay perspectives on same-sex marriage [H.264]. Retrieved from Kurdek, L. (2004). Are Gay and Lesbian Cohabiting Couples Really Different from Heterosexual Married Couples? Journal of Marriage and Family. 66(4), 880-900. Retrieved from Mosser, K. (2010). Ethics & Social Responsibility. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education

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