Causes & Effects of Broken Relationship

A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a romantic relationship between a boy and a girl. A typical relationship is built through a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring towards the person the relationship is concerned to. The conception of relationship encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial.

Thus relationship in its various forms acts as a major facilitator. For further proceeding to this analysis of impact of broken relationship we now need to clarify how different types of relations are built and what are the facts that lead those relations to an unfair end meaning “break-up”. Interpersonal relationship: is a relatively long-term association between a boy and a girl (assuming the nonexistence of gay and lesbian relationship in our country). This association may be based on emotions like love and liking, as well as regular interactions.

Interpersonal relationships take place in a great variety of contexts, such as friends, marriage, acquaintances, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and most significantly colleges and universities. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement. They are the basis of social groups. Abusive relationships: Although human beings are fundamentally social creatures, interpersonal relationships are not always healthy. Such unhealthy relationships are basically known as abusive relationships.

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Abusive relationships include and codependence which means the boy or the girl, either or both of them are heavily depended to each other. All relationships involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, anything that changes or impacts one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member. Intimate relationship: is a particularly close interpersonal relationship.

It is a relationship in which the participants (both the boy and girl) know or trust one another very well. They also have confidants of one another. It is a relationship in which there is physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romance, passionate, attachment, and sexual activity whereas emotional intimacy is something that directly relates to emotion. According to George Levinger (1983), the natural development of a relationship follows five stages:

1. Acquaintance - Becoming acquainted depends on physical proximity, first impressions, and a variety of other factors.If a boy and a girl begin to like each other, continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue indefinitely.
2. Buildup - During this stage, that boy and girl begin to trust and care about each other. The need for compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals will influence whether or not interaction continues.
3. Continuation - This stage follows a mutual commitment to a long term friendship, romantic relationship, or marriage. It is generally a long, relative stable period.Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Mutual trust is important for sustaining the relationship.
4. Deterioration - Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble.
5. Termination - The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by death in the case of a healthy relationship, or by broken-up. Methodology For conducting my research I used both primary and secondary data. To know the public point of view regarding this matter I made a questionnaire and did the survey of thirty people.

Many of them were enthusiastically filled up questionnaire. Questionnaire was prepared, which consisted of about 10 questions. All questions were directly related to the topic. The questionnaire was made to identify causes of broken relationship, its effect to jeopardize career, and recommendation regarding broken relationship. I got lots of information from internet, but little bit from magazine and journal regarding this topic. Few of my friends gave me lots of idea which were really helpful for me to write up a research paper on this topic. Limitation

To pull out the required information I had to do survey. I had faced some problems during preparing the research paper like- time constrains: this is quite obvious problem for every student to finish a research within a three and half month. So I have no other choice but to narrow it down.

Research Findings

To justify my thesis statement, I have prepared questionnaire, which included with ten questions. Among these questions first four questions were based on MCQ and rest of the open ended questions. Now I am clarifying each of the questions on the basis of my findings. 0% responses that he/ she will be good looking, wealthy and beautiful mind which is option (d), when he/she is going to choose his girlfriend/her boyfriend. But in reality it is not possible. 30% responses, that he/she will have beautiful mind. Below 10% suggest that wealthy and above 10% go with good looking are matters of choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend. More than 35% think that mental disagreement is the main reason, which leads a fair relationship to an unfair end. 30% response inequality in social status directs them to breaks up.

Nearly 15% suggest other reasons whereas 20% agree that sexual dissatisfaction are also responsible ending up their relation. More than 45% response that he/she would be very disappointed when his or her girlfriend family does not accept their relationship. Less than 10% suggest they would marry without their permission. 30% do not know what they actually do and above 15% will accept it as a normal way. If he or she cannot match with his girlfriend or her boyfriend mentality after passing certain time, more than 55% response he or she will take the decision to end up their relation.

Over 20% are confused what they would do as well as below 20% react in this way that he or she will try to adjust. Now a day more than 70% think relationship between boys and girls do not last for longer period of time because of- choice vary from time to time, lack of trust worthiness, more materialism, as well as foreign culture. Nearly 70% do not agree that social status might cause to breakup relationship between a boy and girl. Relationship does not know any barrier and it does not also have any boundary. Actually it depends on the mentality and understanding with each other.

0% response broken relationship have negative impact in his/her future life. After happened this he/she will not be able to concentrate on their education. He/she will be hopeless and frustrated to do anything in their lives. He/she will be addicted to drug so that he/she forgets his/her past events from his or her life. My next question was- How would you likely to feel/act if you ever break-up with someone whom you truly love? Break-up in life is not an easy thing. It will loose the rhythm of life. One of survey responders said that she cannot think about it.

Someone said that he will give thanks for having passed some good time with him. Sometimes suicide attend is taken by boy or girl whenever breakup their relationship to whom they truly love. My last question was- What would you like to recommend preventing break-up as well as its consequences? Before going to involve with any kind of relation, boy or girl needs to understand his or her mentality as well as circumstances. Boy/girl will also try to match with each other social and family status. They would show respect to each others feelings and values.

Therefore, Compromising and sacrificing will help to preventing ending up a relationship. So, having done my entire research I have come with my thesis statement which is partially correct. From the survey it is found that break-up does not usually occur for social inequality rather it happens due to mental disagreement for most of the cases. Causes of broken relationship Social causes- Family pressure: In our cultural prospective it is a vital reason for breaking up relationship. Usually when the boy’s or girl’s family know about their relationship, their families usually do not accept it and tell them not to meet each other.

And particularly when the girl denies hearing them, she is being tortured by the family members, physically and mentally.

Inequality in social status

For breaking up such kind of relation it is a common issue in our country. Sometimes, social status plays a role to end a relationship between a boy and girl. Parents do not permit their boy or girl to make any relation which will loose their prestige in the front of their society. If they fail to maintain their social status, they will be ignored or denied by their relatives, neighbor etc.

Western trend: Now a day western trend also an ordinary issue, it is become a mixed cultural trend in our society. In this way boyfriend and girlfriend take such kind of relationship as a time pass job. They try to get benefit within a short time period and after that they switch to another partner. Movies and drama serials: Through movies and drama serials boy/girl basically grapes the how to deal with his/her girlfriend/ boyfriend, they act like that (their dress up, way of talking,), but it does not accept in our customs by the boy/girl. So there is a present of misunderstanding, which leads to end a relation.

Religious views: Sometimes religion make a crucial issue of Break Up, when a boy or girl starts getting to know his girlfriend or boyfriend is from different religion or he / she does not have any mandatory religion beliefs, for which he or she does not want to deal with or believe in him/her. In our society, most of the people are Muslim that’s why guardians do not permit as well as our culture is not familiar such kind of relationship.

Mental causes - Loss of trust

Each healthy relation is made up of strong trust. We know that healthy relation means relation may include love, sympathy, and respect for each other.

Trust is a base for relation. If any one breaks-up this trust then it's very difficult to recover again. Many times girl doesn’t want to introduce her other friends to boyfriend. This kind of event is generally happen with every woman because many times she is scared or she may feel that her boyfriend will leave her only because of that. She is trying to hide the thing and if boyfriend caught then both feel trust is dying from their relation.

Misbehavior

It is true that change is the law of nature. However, sudden changes for human beings are sometimes difficult to accept.

Even though it is nightmare for a boyfriend or girlfriend to break-up relationship sometimes he or she can see the changes of behavior of his girlfriend or her boyfriend which indicates as symptom of ending relationship.

Conflicts

Constructive conflicts are healthy for a relationship. But when a boy or girl has become quarrelsome over insignificant issues, then this is a warning that he or she is looking for a break up.

Distance

Some moments of distractions are obvious in a relationship. However, when boy or girl is in a constant state of unavailability, he or she may be setting his or her mind for a break up.

Criticism

criticism also takes place in a relationship. Boyfriend or girlfriend may criticize each other as to bring some behavioral changes and strengthen the relationship. But, if he or she becomes less tolerant of almost everything; don’t be surprised, as constant criticism is a telltale sign of a break up. Boredom: A long time continuous relation may lead to bore, because it makes into a routine work with girlfriend/boyfriend like he/she is meeting the same person, visiting the same kind of place, talking about the same topics etc for a long period of time.

As a result nothing remains romantic and they find that the spark has gone out on their relationship.

Undesirable

Undesirable is a formal reason for break up such kind of relation. Sometime boys expect some illegal act from his girlfriend which girls may refuse to do. Moreover boyfriend wants some study to help her girlfriend like as to do an assignment for her. Sometimes girl expects some special or costly birthday gift which her boyfriend does not fulfill as requirement. Therefore, in the beginning they do not share their hidden disappointment, but lastly when time goes on they start quarrel each other.

Interference

People like leave separately even they don't want a change in their routine life. It's a general tendency of all human being. Many times only because of lack of trust of girlfriend/boyfriend always make interfere in his/her each and every matter. For example, it's not good pattern of your shirt? Don’t talk with him. Don't eat that because I don't like it because of all this statements he/she is really get irritate. There are some signs that are related to the mental causes to end a relationship between a boyfriend and girl friend.

When- He or she has a feeling of continuous frustration about the relationship. He or she is being physically and mentally abused. He or she is finding more reasons to spend time apart. He or she no longer has strong feelings about his girlfriend or her boyfriend. He or she has changed his or her core values, beliefs and goals to accommodate his or her hopes that will no longer be problematic in his or her relationship. He or she has made drastic changes in his or her appearance to become more attractive others. He or she has a growing feeling of emptiness.

He or she has put extreme distance or totally cut off formal close relationships. Jeopardy career (effects of broken relationship): Surviving after breaking-up a relationship is tough. When someone breaks-up relationship with his or her boyfriend/girlfriend, he/she feels like trash and he/she is not in a good mood. All the time he/she becomes inactive in his or her activities. They keep crying all the time and feel that there is no meaning of life. So the immediate effect of the break-up is pain. The pain goes away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact is high.

It is the initial periods during which one has to gather all the energy and tolerate the pain and takes some worse step which is hamper their life and career.

The effects are following - Ruin educational career

Most of the time after broken a relationship boy and girl does not want to continue their education. They thought for whom I will continue my study; there is no need to build up my career. My life is end. There is no value of my life.

Depression

After boy’s and girl’s break up relation depression is a common effect on which they survive a long time.

Depression feels like a black curtain of despair coming down over their lives. Many believe that they are dull and do not deserve anything. Others feel irritable all the time for no apparent reason. Another name of depression is loneliness.

Insomnia

Insomnia is a symptom of a sleeping disorder characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep despite the opportunity. In this circumstance all the time he/she thinks about his/her girlfriend/boyfriend and tries to find the reason why his/her girlfriend/boyfriend dump him and so on. Suicidal attend: It is a common type phenomena after breaks-up a relation.

Suicide is the act of deliberately taking one's own life. When he or she totally isolated, feel like life is meaning less or does not any benefit to survive without her, they belong on a frustration and thought her love is dead at that time they attend to do such kind of activity. Drug addiction: It is another kind of worse effect, which occurs for the breaking up relation. At that time he/she tries to escape some physical or mental pain by taking drug. Drug addicts don't become addicted with the intention to destroy their lives and to cause upset to those they love.

Usually when he/she does not able to cope with some aspect of his/her reality and is introduced to drugs, he/she feels by having perhaps solved the problem itself. Loss of trust in future: Another vital effect is loss of trust. After such kind of relation he/ she do not able to trust any more of another. She/he is used to think all boys/girls are lire. They do all just for time pass, therefore at their future relation they can’t able to trust her husband/his wife. As a result there is no more continuation of smooth relation.

Recommendation

Overcoming a relationship breakup may be a difficult task. It is one of the hardest things in life. It requires lots of courage and emotional strength. Overcoming a relationship breakup is a skillful way to start his or her life with new hopes. Relationship of a boyfriend and girlfriend may break due to several reasons. It is a stressful and unpleasant situation. Both may feel rejected and frustrated. As his or her loving and caring girlfriend or boyfriend is not with her or him, she or he may feel lonely and helpless. However, keep in mind that it is not the end of happiness in his or her life.

There are so many interesting things that a boy or a girl can enjoy after breakup their relationship. Hence, that boy and girl should try to overcome the relationship breakup so that their future career do not hamper and take pleasure of life in a new way.

Ways to Overcome a Relationship Breakup

a boy and girl can overcome the grief of a relationship breakup by adopting different ways. Here are some useful tips, which may help him or her to come out of this heart-aching situation. Drain out emotion: Immediately after the breakup, a boy or girl needs to give some time to drain out his or her emotions.

During this period, he or she may cry, rave in his or her anger; grieve at the unfair treatment that he or she received from his or her parents. Let all painful emotions drain out of his or her mind. Help him or herself: Don’t frequently recall the pleasant or sad moments from the past. That boy and girl should avoid looking at the mementos of his or her former relationship like photos, letters or gift items. They are supposed to do not blame one another for what had happened and try to find out individual mistakes. That boy and girl should think about improving him or herself, which will be helpful for her or his future relationships.

He or she ought to forget about the past and think about future. That boy and girl should keep him or herself busy is the best way to overcome his or her grief. They should engage in their own work or social activities as well as get involved in his or her favorite hobby. Lean on friends: Family members and friends are the backbone to support him or her in his or her toughest times. They can play a positive role in overcoming this stressful situation. That boy or girl can share his or her feelings and problems with them in order to get their support. Enjoy picnics and outings with them. He or she does not often talk about his or her past.

As much as possible, he or she should try to avoid the topics that cause his or her stress. Avoid sad triggers: when relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend is broken up they must try to avoid the things that remind him or her such as songs, movies or restaurants. During the first few days following a breakup, strictly avoid these sad triggers. Change attitude: that boy and girl need to change his or her attitude in order to overcome a relationship breakup. He or she should have positive approach towards his or her life. Don’t get frustrated for being rejected. Don’t take it as a total failure of life.

He or she is supposed to try to change his or her lifestyle and take another chance. He or she will try to find the person who can bring positive changes in his or her life. Don’t get frustrated and disappointed due to a relationship breakup. He or she should mind it that it’s not the end of the world. Cheerful and hopeful future is still waiting for him or her. He or she needs to rebuild and recuperate with new hopes by overcoming the relationship breakup (Jirage, 2008).

References

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