Last Updated 28 Jan 2021

The Secret to Becoming Exactly Who You Want to Be

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We’re human beings, not human doings, right? 

I’ve always enjoyed this phrase because it’s helped me focus on the present, not just the next thing on my to do list. But there is also a negative side to this statement. That is, it can cloud our thinking into believing we are somehow more than the sum of our actions, the sum of what we do. But we’re not. What we do is really all that matters in life. It makes up who we are. 

When we’re caught up into thinking about who we want to become, our ego takes over, and we stop working. We begin to place more importance on things that don’t matter -- our position in life, and how other people view us -- rather than on what we accomplish. And that’s a real shame.

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You are what you do. When you’re not doing it, you’re not that thing! You don’t earn a title because of what you’ve done in the past, and you certainly don’t earn a title because it’s what you and your ego want to be.


You’re a “public speaker”? Ok, what impactful speech are you writing or giving today?

You’re an “entrepreneur”? Awesome, how are you actively solving a real-world problem with your business, right now?

You’re a "leader”? Interesting -- are you actively, right now in this moment, helping other people become better

You’re an “author”? That’s pretty cool -- what are you writing this afternoon?

Titles don’t matter because titles don’t produce value. If anything, they prevent value from being created because they allow ego to get in the way of real accomplishment.  Even if titles did mean something, you’d still only deserve a title that fits what you’re doing and who you are in the present moment.


Instead of worrying about your next promotion or becoming X,Y,or Z, focus on the work you want to do, and do it. Stop worrying about becoming a certain title, and start doing the work that you’ve been waiting to do until you get that title. Boom! There you go, you just found a short cut to a higher level of contribution.

Instead of being concerned about how people will evaluate you as a writer, and writing the next bestseller, just write. Stop thinking, researching, surfing the internet and staring at the computer screen. Just put one word down after another. Then you’ll be a writer. Then you’ll be a creator. Otherwise, you’re just a consumer.


Instead of worrying about being successful, do successful work. Do the work you know deep down you should be doing. That is success. Not caring about what other people think, aligning yourself with your purpose, and dedicating yourself to meaningful activity that’ll produce real fulfillment in the end.

What’s the secret to becoming exactly who you want to be? Stop focusing on becoming. It’s the wrong objective.  Instead, do the work you were put on this earth to do. The whole “being” thing will work itself out. If it doesn’t, at least you’ll spend your days fulfilled knowing that your time on this planet was spent accomplishing something that mattered.

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The Secret to Becoming Exactly Who You Want to Be. (2018, Oct 02). Retrieved from

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