Is Hard to Say Good Bye

Is Hard to say goodbye Death is probably the only thing in the world that is certain in life. As humans, we are born, we grow, we reproduce and lastly we die. It is the natural order and as natural as it may sound, human beings have different reactions to such an event. Throughout our lives, we influence or are influenced by people; these influences manifest themselves in the form of raising a child; being a teacher, babysitting etc. In all of these interactions, we create lasting relationships with those whom we come across when death happens to one of the involved parties; emptiness follows the surviving person.

As a future nurse, and due to the nature of my occupation, I may be involved in a situation where I must deal with impending death. Emotions will begin to happen, on both ends. On my end I will be trying to help the patient, and the patient coming to terms with his or her destiny. In the following pages, I will discuss how my responses to the “Reflections on dying” may impact a therapeutic relationship with a mother of a three years old child who has six months to live. In such discussion, you will learn about my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and values regarding to death and patient relationships.

Thoughts; Usually when I first hear of a death My thoughts on death begin with sorrow for the loss of a person who is significant on someone’s live. After meeting a patient who is a mother, and realizing that she does not have much time I will be deeply saddened to what is going to happen to her. I may develop feelings for the child’s well being. My second thought would be that of empathy. As a nurse I must show empathy, compassion, and strength at the same time towards patients. Showing emotions would most likely worsen an already sad situation.

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This patient is a mother of a three years old child; she will not see her baby grow up. Therefore, I will have the utmost empathy. Also, I will show strength. This is necessary to persuade the patient to live fully the time she has left. If I am the person breaking the news to her, I will be frank and to the point without keeping any information from the patient; since I believe that sugar coating the fact will lead to mixed feelings on the patient. I will tell her to make every day, every hour, and every second count and to enjoy her child in order to leave a lasting legacy.

Feelings; after a while, my initial reaction to death Therapeutic relations with terminally ill patients will also involve mixed feelings. There will be a war inside of me, my thoughts will tell me to be strong, but my feelings will want me to feel extremely sad, sorrowful, and incompetent for not being able to help the patient. These feelings will linger every attempt to interact with the patient. It is natural for me to feel sad at the future loss; even when I’ve only known the patient since she started getting treated; still all life is precious. She is meaningful to many people, specially her child.

I will definitely feel impotent, which will lead to anger for knowing that there is nothing that I can do to make her feel better. At that point, I will rely on my professionalism to expose and help me act accordingly. The reason why my feelings are normally strong is because when I was twelve years old, my grandmother died; she practically raised me. I spent more time with my grandmother at that time, than I had spent with my mother. I was asleep when I was told that she had died, and feelings began to run rampant. The anger, and sadness were unbearable, and ever since that moment, I have been very sensitive when it comes to death.

Beliefs; My predominant emotion to death I believe that all life is valuable; this belief will influence my feelings but not my therapeutic relationships with my patient. Regardless of what I may believe, I know that it is my duty to provide treatment the best possible service to the patient. Being supportive to the patient, and her family members are my priority. If I was in the patient’s shoes, I would like the nurse to bring me up instead of bringing me down in a time of need. I would want the nurse to tell me my condition as is; that way, I can make the right decisions with my life.

Also I would like to have everything clear when it comes to my child, and I would like to live my couple of months as happy as possible and pain free. Values; the way I may grieve Integrity is one of the main values I hold dear. A person’s word is their bond; without integrity, our words mean nothing. From integrity, respect and dignity follow on my list of values. My thoughts will influence ethical decisions when conducting therapeutic counseling. They will also reaffirm with my feelings to ensure I manage myself with strength. In addition, treating all with respect and dignity are a priority in my values list.

Therefore, when dealing with a patient; everything else stops and I pay full attention to the patient’s needs. I will provide information and suggestions on ways to stay healthy and happy, even thought the patient won’t survive for long I feel that is best to keep the patient happy and comfortable. Conclusion In the last few pages, I’ve explained my thoughts on death. How my initial reactions to death would be and how my thoughts would influence me. Then, I explained how my feelings would manifest, and how they would play a part during routine interactions with the patient.

I shared my beliefs and the connection between my beliefs, and thoughts when dealing with loss. Finally, I discussed my values as they relate to death. No matter which situation we find ourselves in; being the ones receiving bad news or giving the bad news; we will react differently to such an unexpected event. As long as we treat others with the respect and dignity they deserve, and we show the empathy we can make a difference on a patient’s remaining lifetime. It does take courage to show strength, and humility to show empathy, but the satisfaction to know that we have done the right thing would provide comfort to keep us going.

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