What if They Won’t Play (Use Negotiation Jujitsu) Getting to YesNegotiating Agreement Without Giving In By Roger Fisher and William Ury Vikas Singh Ed Hill What if They Won’t Play • Theymaystatetheirpositioninunequivocal terms • Concernedonlywithmaximizingtheirowngains • Theymayattackyouinplaceofattackingthe problems Three Basic Strategies • What you can do • What they can do – Negotiation Jujitsu • What a third party can do – One Text Mediation Procedure Negotiation Jujitsu Three Basic Maneuvers Asserting their position forcefully • Attacking your ideas • Attacking you Don’t attack their position, look behind it • Neither reject nor accept the position • Treat it as one possible option • Look for interest and principles behind it • Think of ways to improve it Don’t defend your ideas, invite criticism and advice • Invite criticism, instead of resisting it • Ask them what is wrong with a particular idea or an option • Use their criticism and advice to find out their underlying interests and principles • Rework your ideas in light of what you learn
Recast an attack on you as an attack on the problem • Resist the temptation to defend yourself or attack them • Listen to them • Understand what they are saying • Recast their attack on you as an attack on the problem Ask questions and pause • Use questions instead of statements • Silence One-text procedure Call in a third party to: • Separate the people from the problem • Direct the discussion to interests and options • Suggest impartial basis for resolving differences • Separate invention from decision making How does a third party do this Asksabouttheinterestsratherthanpositions • Learnallabouttheirneedsandinterests • Suggest a provisional solution/recommendation • Askthemtocritiqueitorsuggestimprovements • Improvisetherecommendationinlightofinputs • Presentthefinalsolution Getting them to play: The case of Jones Realty and Frank Turnbull •$600 rent per month •Apartment under rent control
•Max rent at $466 per month •Mrs.Jones reimburses after several long principled negotiation sessions Stock Phrases • “Please correct me if I’m wrong.” • “We appreciate what you’ve done for us.
• “Our concern is fairness” • “We would like to settle this on the basis of Independent standards, not of who can do what to whom” • “Trust is a separate issue” Stock Phrases (cont. ) • “CouldIaskyouafewquestionstoseewhether my facts are right? ” • “What’stheprinciplebehindyouraction? ” • “LetmeseeifIunderstandwhatyou’resaying” • “Letmegetbacktoyou” • “Let me show you where I have trouble following some of your reasoning Stock Phrases (cont. ) • “One fair solution might be. ” • “If we agree.. If we disagree. ” “We’d be happy to see if we can leave when it’s most convenient for you” • “It’s been a pleasure dealing with you” “Please correct me If I’m wrong” • Establish dialogue based on reason • Invitation to participate
• Good probability you won’t “lose face” • Opening to correction and persuasion sets the tone “We appreciate what you’ve done for us” • Through support, separate people from problem • Defuses self-image threat • Other side now has something to lose: – Praise and support “Our concern is fairness” • Take basic stand on principle • Remain open Both ends and means to accomplish ends are principled “We would like to settle this on the basis of independent standards, no of who can do what to whom” • Don’t lose temper- and thus, control • Bring negotiation back to merits • Good example of negotiation jujitsu • Reinforces principled negotiation “Trust is a separate Issue” • Slip out of corner
• Remain firm on the principle “Could I ask you a few questions to see whether my facts are right? ” • Statements of fact can be threatening, questions are better • Phrasing info as questions allows open participation Lays foundation for agreed upon facts “What’s the principle behind your action? ” • A principled negotiator neither accepts nor rejects other side’s opinion • Leads other side to search for reasons • Negotiation continues on principle “Let me see If I understand what you’re saying” • Principled negotiation requires good communication • Other side more likely to listen and be more receptive “Let me get back to you” • Good negotiator rarely makes important decisions on the spot • Timeanddistancehelptoseparatepeoplefrom problem Goodnegotiatorscomestotablewithcredible reason for leaving • Allowsdiscussionwithconstituents(Paul)
• Freshcommitmenttoprinciplednegotiation “Let me show you where I have trouble following some of your reasoning” • Present reasons before offering proposal • Proposal first will often lead to other side not listening to reasons – Considering counterproposals “One fair solution might be. ” • Proposal not as yours, but as fair option • Proposal not as only solution, but one fair solution “If we agree.. If we disagree. ” • Try to make it easy for other side • Trickiest part is to communicate the alternative Use of third party – Creates distance, thus, separation of people from problems
• Don’t always reveal BATNA “We’d be happy to see if we can leave when it’s most convenient for you” • Incorporate other side’s interests • Allows for other side to “save face” • Other side feels good about agreement “It’s been a pleasure dealing with you” • End on a good note • Reestablishes principle of separation of people from problem • Relationship maintained Summary • You can get the other side to play principled negotiation, even if they don’t want to at first • Principled negotiation, negotiation jujitsu, or a third party all work