Nice Guys Always Finish Last
Nice guys is a term in the popular culture and general public discourse describing a male, young or adult, with friendly yet unassertive personality traits in the context of a relationship with a woman. Nice guy is said to be who puts their interest aside and out others first, avoids confrontation, does favors, gives emotional support, tried to stay out of trouble and generally be nice towards women.
Although many people would agree with the generalization of “nice guys always finish last” I would disagree and side with nice guys because bad guys may get the girls and sleep around but in the end of the day they end up with the nice guy.
There is a discrepancy between preference and the actual action of women in choices in men. They say that they want “nice guys” but in reality, they go for “bad boys” or “jerks” in the end. Stephan Desrochers claims, in a 1995 article in the journal Sex Roles, that many “sensitive” men, based on personal experience, do not believe women actually want “nice guys”. Desrochers, 1995). And Urbaniak & Kilmann write that, “Although women often portray themselves as wanting to date kind, sensitive, and emotionally expressive men, the nice guy stereotype contends that, when actually presented with a choice between such a ‘nice guy’ and an unkind, insensitive, emotionally-closed, ‘macho man’ or ‘jerk,’ they invariably reject the nice guy in favor of his ‘so-called’ macho competitor. ” (Urbaniak & Kilmann, 2003). They all both say that what they want and what they actually do is totally different.
Women say they want “nice guys” but they want nice guys to be attractive, well built but those guys are either taken or jerks. Then they go for the jerks, who are attractive and challenge themselves to make them to become nice guys but that rarely happens. Nice guys do not always finish last. The difference is how one defines or take word “last” as. Bad boys or jerks do always get the girls because they know the game and most of them are attractive in different ways but when one looks at long-term, many can see that women tend to choose nice guys.
Herold and Milhausen claim that “while ‘nice guys’ may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships. ” (Herold & Milhausen, 1999). No women wants to be treated badly or be used and that what bad boys or jerks do. Thats is why they prefer nice guys and be will to go out on second date or go in a relationship with them. McDaniel constructed vignettes of dates with a stereotypical “nice guy” vs. a stereotypical “fun/sexy guy,” and attempted to make them both sound positive.
Participants reported a greater likelihood of wanting a second date with the “nice guy” rather than with the “fun/sexy guy. ” (McDaniel, 2005). People may think that nice guys finish last but for to them the “last” is the goal for the women. The women may take a detour but most of them reach the goal to the nice guy. It is like the story of the rabbit and the tortoise, the rabbit is the jerk and tortoise the nice guy. My best friend is a bad boy who gets all the girls he wants and I was always the nice guy.
He always told me to be like him but I could not and never be someone who I am not and comfortable with. I always thought that generalization was true until recently but not anymore. It took me three years but I am finally in a relationship and I am happy. From past to present, the women’s preference has not changed and that means something. Women do and always will desire nice guys because they care and think about them. Thats is what women is looking for at the end of the day. Nice guys does not finish, they finish first.