To be honest, I do not remember any milestone or turning point of my sexual biography. My sexual awareness came smoothly and naturally as I grew up. The events I am going to tell will be pretty vague in terms of time order and my feelings.
I have no idea when I began noticing that girls and boys have different parts but it was not earlier than my first grade. However, I did notice that there was something from the girls in class that made me blush and acting awkwardly when I had to talk to them.
Also, the boys in my fourth grade talked about condom everyday, so I perhaps knew how condom was used, but it would not be a proper way even before I were aware of what a penis could do. I masturbated quite often until I were 14 and had a first relationship. The reason were self masturbated felt good andI thought no one would know about it. But my dad knew eventually. One day he talked to me about it, but in an awkward way. That time I was embarrassed, but I also wondered why he had to behave so unnaturally. He expected me to tell my little brother later on, but I never told him so I bet he did it himself.
I read much about masturbation and knew people found it embarrassing themselves when doing it, but I have never thought masturbation was a guilty behavior or some kind of sins. I barely asked my parents about how I was born. Actually we did not talk much about everything. I remember I asked my mom just one time. She pointed at her navel and said I came from that little hole and I believed her. When I was around 12, I still wondered is if girls are interested in taking about boys? Of course I didn’t know what they would do together! I didn’t even wonder if girls masturbate.I thought they were some kind of godlike creature, some kind of angels that don’t do things boys do.
But now I know female also want the things male want, although they want less than male do. Also, I liked a girl who was 2 years younger than me in middle school. I was bothered by the fact that I have had wanted a girlfriend in the same age. I thought I should not like that girl, that it was immoral and going against the natural order of the community. I fought against those thoughts and eventually gave up. After that, I didn’t think it immoral anymore… I am recently in a relationship with a young lady who is 2 years younger than me.We have sex and were very clear about premarital sex.
Unlike before I now have very clear position about controversial issues such as premarital sex, abortion, gay marriage and transgender. I am also aware of condom, menstruation, pregnancy, masturbation, oral sex and sex positions… The fact were I and my partner agreed not to have sex until marriage, but we failed and committed to intercourse sex 3 times per week. It has been 2 years since we started having sex and it feel good and splendid. But more than that, we feel great and secure since we are together.