Modern Relationships

The advancement of technology does not only change man’s way of doing things but also it changes some aspects of his personal life. One of these aspects is in the area of   building relationships.  According to Maslow, one of man’s basic needs is belongingness and love. He stated that man basically wants to find someone whom he can love and be loved.  Relationships add meaning to his life and gave him a sense of purpose ( Maslow, 1954). With the discovery of the internet, that purpose is going to be fulfilled in a new way.

The quest for a mate had always been a complicated procedure for most. Some have list of qualities and requirements that they want to find in someone while others do not know what they are looking for. All they know and hoped for is that there is someone for them out there in the world. Whoever comes along they always hoped he will be the special one but unfortunately they are not always right the first time. And so the quest continues.

One way that modern man had taken advantage of for the quest is using the internet.  What is interesting about the World Wide Web is that it provided modern man the chance to meet different people from different culture and religious background. With the use of  his fingers , he can easily  meet someone from anywhere in the world  at any time. It is because anybody can connect to any chatrooms or websites that advertises various individuals looking for someone to love. Others may be skeptical about this idea simply because you actually do not know the real person behind the face.

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And many (mostly conservative ones) would suspect that no lasting relationships can ever be established from internet dating. They feel that everyone was just out there to fool or take advantage of somebody. They also reasoned that if it is hard to make a relationship work with someone you personally know for years how much harder will it be if you commit to a relationship with someone you only know in the internet. And how more complicated will it be if that person came from another country and practicing another religion!

While the above argument may have some truth in it, internet dating continues to become a popular means of modern man to find someone to love. Their reasons may vary. Others find communicating in the internet easier. Communication had always been a problem of any relationships. Some people just cannot express themselves to those who already know them for years. They cannot relate their disappointments, frustrations and broken dreams for fear of rejection or betrayal.

So they pretended to be strong and able to conquer the world while in reality they are on the verge of collapsing.  But the internet had provided them a different scenario. In there they find people who do not know them and therefore had no basis to judge. And since the other person is so far away in the world to do them any harm, they freely began to talk about themselves and later they realized that they were accepted for who they were. They do not need to wear a mask. And because of that they were willing to take the relationship to the next level.

Another reason why people go for internet dating is because they find it challenging to do so. They are mostly adventurous individuals who are curios to learn about other cultures and religion. They do not fear these differences because they have the capacity to accept people’s differences from their own. For example modern America is a place of diverse nationalities, and most Americans had been an eyewitness of successful relationships between two people of diverse culture and religion.

They figure that if they possessed a heart of understanding and acceptance any relationship can work. It really does not matter much where a person comes from as long as he is willing to make the necessary adjustment to make a relationship last as it should. In other words, there are cases that modern relationships between different cultures do not work not because of their differences in beliefs and customs but because of their innate negative characters. If they marry a person of their own culture and religion, their relationship will still not work because basically they are the problem.

Another reason why people choose internet dating is because it helped them not to get too physically involved. Some good relationships fail initially because the physical involvement gets in the way of knowing the real person apart from the physical self. People who hade made sexual relationships before and were guilty about it find internet dating a welcome change. And they find that they do not have to be totally committed to have a relationship. All they want is to have someone willing to talk to. But of course, as I have stated before things just happens that change their minds and before long they find themselves loving someone from across the globe.

The internet can also be the means for lovers to stay in contact when the other had to leave for another place for some reason. In the past, relationships failed because after the lover left, he lost touch with the other that was left behind.  Telephone long distance charges are very costly. At first there may be many calls but later on only few calls are made in a year   and then eventually it stopped. Then one of them realizes that the other had found a new love. But modern technology is trying to change all that.

The internet provided convenient access for constant communication between lovers. Through it they can promptly and continuously catch up with each other’s lives. Communication no long becomes a barrier for their long distance relationships. The only thing that can really break their relationship now is if they really wanted to in the first place.

Most people would never see themselves finding someone through the internet. They may utilize the net for an already formed relationship outside the internet (like the above example where one lover had to go away for some place) but to really find someone in the net is next to impossible for them. People who do this are usually very careful in life, they are afraid to make mistakes and for them it is a mistake to find someone in the net. But times had changed. In reality, there are many sensible people in the net. Decent modern men and women now take part in internet dating.  Their rule of thumb is to   use their head, be smart and stay away from suspicious people. It is true that many get fooled in the internet.

But it is because they ignored the warning signs. People who do nasty things in the net and who request to see some private parts are not to be trusted. They do not possess any self-respect and will most likely make a mate’s life miserable. People that can be trusted are those who communicate respectfully and talk about wholesome matters.  But still in spite of that, a person should be watchful who he/she is talking or committing to. Even with the modern way of building relationships, using the head and lots of prayers are still the best means of finding the right person.

Reference

Maslow, Abraham H. (1954). Motivation and Personality. New York: Harper and Row Publishers, Incorporated

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