What Children Really Need

Parenting is one of the hardest things to do. It can be a very stressful task to do in your life but it is one of the greatest things as well. Right from the time they are born, from infancy to adulthood, children have a vast array of growing needs and expectations from their parents. Apart from basic needs like food, shelter, and clothing, children look to their parents to fulfill their many essential needs. I feel that children need loving homes, parental guidance, and a feeling of security from the time they walk through the front door after school to when they awaken each orning. They deserve the stability that comes with discipline and well-placed expectations. Parental love should be special in two respects. First of all, it should be constant and unconditional, which means it is always present, even when the child is acting in an unlovable manner. In addition, parents should be open in expressing and showing love so that children are never uncertain about its presence.

This means parents should hug and praise their children at every available opportunity. Parents can also occasionally review their strengths and eaknesses with them and work together on any difficulties in communicating or collaborating. The parents can also help children learn work skills. By not assigning responsibilities around the house, nor making certain that deadlines are met, they can become irresponsible and ineffective. Another thing is that all children need parental guidance. Parents need to actively teach basic values and manners in order for them to get along well in society. By offering guidance to children when they have problems, parents need to state their thoughts in a few sentences rather han giving a lecture. It is helpful to many children to understand that your door is always open. For example, instead of obsessing about the need to be admitted to a good college, talk to them about life beyond those years. A parent could discuss the pros and cons of their own career. Children often respond to the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up" as, "I don't know. " If you don't have that open communication to redirect their ideas, they could continue to have a cloudy idea for their future.

Also, children need a range of authentic role models. Having regular family meal discussions about people the family knows is a great practice. If communication about appropriate role models are not discussed, a child could look up to members of their clique, rock idols, and unwarranted athletes. Finally children need to feel secure in their world. If the family feels safe, then the child feels secure. As they grow up this sense of security is then internalized. Life is like a roller coaster with many stresses and setbacks.

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Children should know how to deal with these feelings of uncertainty. They need to also learn how to solve problems as well as resolve conflicts. In our home we discuss and practice these skills in everyday life situations. Parents do not need to overindulge their children with the latest video games, extravagant vacations, or too many extracurricular activities after school to feel safe and secure. If a parent relentlessly tries this with their children, they will be creating inflated egos that will surely burst in later years.

In conclusion, parenting is not a simple task, and it is easy to become frustrated and uncertain at times. It often means putting aside your own thoughts and feelings in order to understand the whole child. Children have a continuing need for parental support and encouragement from infancy throughout young adulthood. It is possible to build a future that is better than the past. Keeping this in mind, the most important thing is to remember to provide your children with unconditional, loving homes, guidance, and a sense of security.

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