Being Criticized

Man’s growing up process and the entirety of his life will surely and definitely involve certain amounts of criticism. The basic principle is that between the two parties involved in the process of criticism: the person criticizing and the person receiving the criticism – there is a certain so-called truth or rule or way of life or way of thinking that is being imposed upon. “Since most criticism involves interaction of two people …….. the ‘Demander’ and the ‘Perceiver. ’ The Demander is the person from whom criticism comes.

The Perceiver is the person who perceives the demand in a critical way. In fact, criticism is a demand for someone to do something. Developmentally, this exchange between the demander and perceiver has its origin in the parent-child relationship. In later life it continues as the perceiver sees the demander as a person in power. The perceiver gives the power to the demander who is viewed as an unequal and in a superior position. All criticism, regardless of the form in which it is expressed, has its origins in one fundamental principle.

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This single principle is what I have called the Truth-Imposition Dilemma of Mankind. ” (Smith 2006) And I have had my own share of criticism – from family, teachers, friends and foes alike. What has affected me most deeply (and I think will forever affect me) is how my parents are critical about the friends I choose to keep. From the variations of “you are the company you keep” as posed by Miguel de Cervantes to the Confucian admonition of “have no friends not equal to yourself” – guide the probing eyes, nose and ears of my parents about my friends (old and new alike).

They keep on reminding me about those wisdom whenever they learn anything about my friends. Or, whenever I make a new friend and I get to introduce him or her to my parents. I get to be reminded and/or reprimanded whenever I passed even a bit of a second of my curfew to get back home after a “day” out with my friends. And my parents are very dicey about things that a friend or two would be inclined to, like: piercing, tattoo, smoking, speed driving, bike riding, rap music, provocative girl clothes, multicolored dyed hair, spikey hair cuts, very ostentatious “blings”.

Although my parents criticize them to me in private and in a civilized and placid and constructive way, I am still mystified as to why they are always wary of me and my friends. I must also admit that my parents exercise appropriate choice of words – still, I feel remorse that my parents could be short-sighted about their generalized opinion. Their criticisms about my friends affected me both negatively and positively. First, I sometimes harbor the feeling that I am irresponsible. I am very sure that I am very responsible about my studies and life. And I know they know and believe that.

Therefore, I think my parents should give me a little bit of credit along those lines. I have explained to my parents that the “in” things that one or two of my friends might be inclined to, does not necessarily diminish whatever goodness they have in their person. I told my parents that piercing or tattoo, respectively and relatively, is simply a personal expression of the inner thoughts of a person. That is why the negative effect of being criticized about the friends I keep, makes me resent the seeming distrust that my elders have on my sense of judgment and responsibility.

At one point, I do give my parents the benefit of the doubt when they remind me about how I should choose my friends. I do realize that my parents simply love me and are very concerned that any of my friends will not end up to be a bad influence on me. I also appreciate that they illustrate their involvement in my life as what parents should be. I understand that there is no point in life that you will stop learning from criticisms or being annoyed by criticism.

Destructive or constructive, I know that the end result of criticism rest on my shoulder to prove or disprove them wrong. Much as I might try to avoid being criticized, there is really no escaping. Therefore, I simply just have to be on my toes not to miss out on my sense of discretion and responsibility about things in life. And that will speak in lesser words that whatever that criticism is – it is unfounded. Work Cited: Smith, L. C. , Jr. , Ph. D. , “CRITICISM: OUR DIS-EASE”. 2006 The Writings of Laurence C. Smith, Jr. , PhD http://lcsmithphd. com/Criticism. html

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