Zombie Survival Guide

Our world has experienced many pandemics over the course of history, from the bubonic plaque to the HIV/AIDS virus. But what happens when a virus brings us back from the dead. I’m talking about zombies, the undead. Today I will show you how to adequately prepare and survive a zombie apocalypse. Everything from identifying the enemy to defending your home and riding out the storm. Before we can divulge into preparations upon yourself and your home, we must first identify the enemy. What is a Zombie? This West African word defines a Zombie as “an animated corpse that feeds on living human flesh. Though many Hollywood movies have depicted Zombies as supernatural beings, with extreme strength and cognitive abilities, these accusations are wildly inaccurate. Zombies, in a sense, are basically human. They have the same attributes as humans do. They neither create nor destroy any part of their body (unless physical maiming has occurred before the reanimation). Zombie’s physical attributes are basically the same to humans. Their eyes are still capable of transmitting and interpreting visual signals. They seem to have excellent hearing, capable of detecting sound and determine its location.

Their smell is more acute, though they are able to distinguish between living prey and the already dead. Since Zombies are the “Un-Dead”, most of their nerves have also died, leaving the Zombie incapable of touch. This proves to be one advantage the Zombie has over humans. Without the ability to feel pain, Zombies can perform at a higher level of stamina than humans, being able to push themselves further and faster despite the pain it would cause a normal human. Despite Hollywood fiction, Zombies do not possess self-healing abilities, they cut and bleed like normal humans. But as previously stated they do not feel such pain.

The Zombie is a ruthless killing machine, it takes wits and brains to conquer such beasts, and a little fire power won’t hurt either. When preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse, choosing the right weapons can be a matter of life and death. Contrary to popular belief, loading up with the heaviest, most powerful weapons ready to kick ass is basically suicidal. Proper consideration should be taken when choosing your weaponry. First and foremost, you should always obey state and federal laws regarding lethal weapons. No matter what weapon you choose, it’s basically useless without proper training.

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Your weapon should become an extension of your body. If your weapon can be disassembled, you should learn how to take apart your weapon and reassemble it in the dark, it should become second nature. You should care for your weapon as if it were a member of your family, possibly the crazy uncle that could go off at any moment. Be cautious of replica weapons, as these are generally used as movie props and displays. When choosing your weapon, consider your situation. Are you in a close combat situation, or have you fortified your home adequately to where you can shoot from a distance.

For blades, the Japanese Katana is ideal. It’s incredibly sharp blade and light weight makes it ideal for slicing through bone and muscle. Remember blades do not need reloading. As for guns, there is a wide range of guns to consider. Everything from heavy machine guns to shotguns. While each have their own pros and cons, for the sake of time we’ll focus on the ones imperative for survival. Heavy machine guns have a high capacity for ammo, though the weight would slow you down on the run, these weapons are best suited for stationary use.

The assault rifle is significantly lighter and with the option for single fire or rapid fire. Though the urge to empty a clip into a Zombie body may be tempting, resisting that urge is imperative to save ammo. The semi-automatic rifle has shown itself to be a superior zombie killer. With its high caliber bullets and sharp accuracy, it makes mincemeat of zombies. In a close combat situation, the shotgun reigns supreme. Though its range is limited, due to the pellet pattern, this weapon will surely suffice in close combat. Finally we come to the pistol.

This should be reserved as a secondary weapon; it will prove to be your best friend. Now that we have covered who we’re running from and how to defend and kill them, we focus our attention to fortifying and defending our homes. We live in a rural area, and if history teaches us anything; it’s that major outbreaks are mostly concentrated in major cities. Though no house built in the modern era was designed to defend against a zombie attack, modifications should be used to fortify your home. Protecting your home from the undead is virtually the same as defending against human intruders, though ADT alarms will not help you.

Secure iron bars should be placed in window sills to prevent zombies from climbing in the windows. In addition to bars, tempered glass should replace pane glass windows to avoid shattering; giving you added time once a horde comes. Any type of fencing should be placed around the perimeter of your property. The higher the better as zombies are not great climbers. Strength in your fencing is everything, as a horde of zombies can easily take down a weak fence. Consider using concrete or cinder blocks and add strength. Proper supplies should be in place to endure the time spent in your home during an outbreak.

Water, and lots of it, is the key to survival; about 3 quarts a day per person. Canned foods and dried preserved foods, in addition to portable electric stoves will keep stomachs full. In addition, a gasoline generator and bicycle generator should be in place should the power grid fail. An advanced medical kit, complete with field surgery implements and antibiotics will treat minor and major injuries. Flashlights, lamps and radios should be used and back up batteries should be in place. A high powered telescope, emergency flares and chemical light sticks should finish of your survival equipment.

During the attack, you should designate one corner of your back yard for your latrine, also creating a self-sufficient garden for fruits and vegetables, as far away from the latrine as possible. For electrical needs, unless the power grid is still functioning, use the bicycle powered generator. Not only will it keep your home powered, it will keep you physically fit. Patrol your home constantly, on a 24 hour basis. The chance of survival is higher in numbers. Keeping up moral in the group will significantly increase your chance of survival too. Create a library of books and games to keep you entertained.

Make sure you have everything in place, ready to be used at a moment’s notice. Everything from an escape route to a survival packs for on the run. Leave no stone unturned and no corner cut when preparing for an attack. Hopefully I have shown you today to properly prepare for a zombie outbreak. And hopefully you heed my warnings. These people are not your neighbors, your school teachers, or even your loving grandmother. These are zombies, the undead. It’s us against them. A battle to the end. Remember to stay alert, stay prepared, and stay alive.

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