About Specific Moments

Eng 119 10/16/12 My life tragedy I remember that cold November like it was yesterday. It was so cold that I felt the breeze going through my skin. I remember waking up to my mom and sisters crying. I can tell that my father was trying his hardest not to cry. I’ve always felt safe at home, it’s a place to feel peace and joy with family but this was different. I just wanted everything to be like the normal days where my mom fusses at me for not waking up earlier for school or forgetting to do the laundry. Everybody was so sad but trying there hardest to be strong in front of me.

Everybody surrounded me as I was getting ready, it seemed like they were following my every move. I tried my hardest not to cry or just fall apart because I know that it would only make things worse and break everyone into pieces. I had to remain strong and remember that I’ve been through this before and that God is always by my side. Sitting on the dining table was pointless; the food was just there for show. Nobody seemed to have an appetite. It seemed as if they were the one going through this tragedy but I can’t blame them. If anything happened to them, I would feel the same way.

I had left my house a billion times before but that morning was by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I kissed my sisters goodbye and told them to be strong for me and regardless of what happens, that they’ll always be in my heart. I have 3 sisters and not seeing there beautiful faces again would destroy me. Getting into the car was like moving to a new house. It was so quiet driving to the hospital with my parents. It was the longest drive of my life although I didn’t want the drive to end. I had to be strong though and remember that I am no longer 4 years old anymore.

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I was only 17 and I already been through this life trial before. Everything seemed to be playing in slow motion. I started to remember every childhood memory I had. I remembered the first time I went to the zoo with my family and I fell and scraped hurt my knee and had to get stiches. I was terrified and so scared about getting stiches but nothing can possibly be worse than this life trial. I remembered the first day my baby sister was born. I remembered the going on a trip to Niagara Falls and how much fun I had with my family and friends. A million memories and thoughts were running through my mind.

My mother sighed once we arrived to the hospital, but this wasn’t a sigh of relief, this was more like pure sadness. Before walking into the hospital, I took one last glance at the world outside. Walking into the Oakwood hospital, I was able to recall every memory I had within every step I took. I was asked to sit down for 5 minutes till they call me up. My mom was telling me a story about my grandma and how she also had an open heart surgery. She told me that she had an open heart surgery 7 times in her life and survived all 7 but she was a very heavy smoker and that’s how she passed away.

She had recently passed away from cancer. She said I reminded her of my grandma because she was a very strong woman. The nurse called my name and told me that the doctor was ready for me. I was getting closer and closer to the operating room. At the same time, I was so focused on everything. I could stare at the plant that I was walking by for hours and hours. The more closer I got to the operating room, the more scared and freaked out I was getting. my lips were so dry because the hospital told me I wasn’t supposed to eat anything. I felt choked up. I could hear a baby crying after the mother giving birth.

That made me smile. To think God takes life but brings another life to the world. That’s just the way life is. I got to the operating room and changed into the hospital gown. I always hated the hospital gowns. There were closed from the front but open from the back. It just didn’t make sense to me. Sitting on the hospital bed, I was so nervous. The nurse even noticed and gave me some medication to calm down my nerves. I always wanted to be a nurse when I grow up. I started to think if I can ever actually fulfill that dream, but I had faith in God and knew he wouldn’t let me down.

The nurse told me she can see me as being a nurse because I love to help people. The medication didn’t seem to work so well especially when you’re almost going to have an open heart surgery. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me again. It felt like a dream, I dream that I wanted to just wake up from so badly. I started to imagine myself sitting home watching TV like a normal teenage girl with nothing to worry about but homework and drama. I knew I had no way out of this though. It’s now or never, I thought to myself. My father held my hand and said, “come on sweetie, you can do this”.

I kissed my parents goodbye and couldn’t help but cry. I started to think to myself that this may be the last time that I’ll ever see there beautiful faces. I trusted my surgeon with my life because this isn’t the first time he has done this to me before. He told me that he always loved seeing my face vbecause I was all smiles but this was such a fake smile I had on. My anesthesiologist gave me some medicine and told me to count to ten. “One, two, three, four, five, then I was gone. The next thing you know I was waking up to my families faces.

My mom was sitting by me holding my hand. I thought I was dreaming. Everything was so blurry but I can still see a little. I had survived. I survived an open heart surgery for the second time. After that moment, I knew that I was going to appreciate every minute of my life. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t remind myself of the strength I have within me. My seven inch scar reminds me that I am alive and strong. I feel like I'm capable of giving a lot to the world. I appreciate my family and friends even more because I don’t know where I would be without them.

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