Dealing with Rude People: Strategies for Adjusting Your Reaction to Them

It seems that rude people are everywhere today: in the workplace, at the grocery store and sometimes right in our own homes. It can be very difficult dealing with rude people, especially if you are exposed to one on a daily basis, such as the office jerk or the less-than-considerate spouse. However, there are strategies that you can employ to attempt to alter the rude behavior in a not-so-rude way. Sometimes these strategies can be highly effective and sometimes not so much, depending on the person you are dealing with. The best method for dealing with rude people is to adjust your reaction to them.

After all, you may not be able to change the behavior of others, but you do have control over how you react to that behavior. One way to avoid a negative reaction to a rude person is to consider why the person is acting the way he is in the first place. Why are People so Rude? According to the book, “Rudeness: Deal with It if you Please” by Catherine Rondina, there are a number of reasons why people behave rudely. Some of these might include the fact that they only care about what they think or need or they believe their feelings are more important than the feelings of others.

They might have little or no patience for other people and they do not appreciate the differences in others. Some people are rude simply because they are trying to shock those around them with their behavior. By understanding the reasons behind the rudeness, you may find it easier to ignore the behavior and perhaps even feel a bit of compassion for the guilty party. Perhaps they never learned any better. Cell Phone Etiquette An ABC poll last year showed that most people in this country had the biggest problem with rude cell phone use above any other type of inconsiderate behavior.

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Nearly all of us have encountered the loud cell phone conversation in the grocery store, at the movies or in a packed elevator. Most of the time, you just try to grin and bear it, but what happens when the behavior becomes unbearable? There are a few strategies for how to deal with rude people on the phone without stooping to their rude behavior yourself. First, try giving the person a pointed look that says he is bothering you with his inconsiderate actions. Many folks do not realize that their conversation is actually annoying to those around them until they receive the “look”.

You can also politely ask the person to take his conversation elsewhere. Try beginning your request with a humble apology, “I’m terribly sorry sir, but would you mind taking your conversation out of the theatre? We can’t hear the movie. ” Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but at least you gave it a shot. If your request is not heeded, you can take your problem to the manager of the restaurant or movie theatre to find out if an employee of the establishment will have better luck putting a stop to the obnoxious behavior. Cyber Manners

Even the nicest, most mild-mannered folk can turn into foul-mouthed spewers of rude comments in the world of cyberspace. It appears that typing out a nasty retort and hitting that “send” button has become far too easy – and common – for many rude people today. Judith Kallos of NetManners. com has a number of suggestions on how to deal with rude people in cyberspace. First, if the email sent contains foul language or threats of any kind, the sender has violated his user agreement with his ISP. Send an email yourself to his ISP to alert them of the situation, and keep the email on file in case you need to refer to it later on.

Beyond this step, you basically have a couple of options: ignore the rude behavior and move on as best as you can, or let the person know that his words hurt and offended you in a calm, matter-of-fact way. Any other response will simply lower yourself to the level of this person, and you certainly don’t want that! Dealing with the Office Jerk Rude people can be found everywhere, but when they are found at the office it can be a challenging situation indeed. Hence, the coining of the term “office jerk”, and what an appropriate term it can be when you are dealing with rude people at work that you simply cannot escape.

The Institute for Management Excellence has a number of steps that teach how to deal with rude people. The first step is to try polite confrontation to see if you can nip the behavior in the bud. Some people do not realize that they are behaving rudely, and others may back down if they are confronted directly. If confrontation does not work, try avoidance. Limit contact with the person by keeping conversations short and meetings to a minimum. If you must meet with the office jerk, try to remain standing throughout. Stand-up meetings can accomplish just as much, but in a generally shorter period of time.

Also, do not share any personal information with this person, whether in person, on the phone or through email. Rude Retail Does anyone remember the good old days when customer service was the buzzword in the retail industry? Unfortunately, it seems today that customer service has gone out the window with many companies, and it has been replaced by apathetic employees who have no problem turning into rude people at the cash register. If you find yourself the victim of rude people retail employees, there are some steps that you can take to deal with the behavior effectively.

First, do not let the customer service representative monopolize the conversation. Make your needs known clearly, assertively and politely right from the beginning. If your request is not answered in a courteous way, ask to speak with the manager. If a manager is not available, get a name and number to contact later, fill out a feedback card or contact the corporate office of the company when you get home. Email makes this process exceedingly easier, and often letting the head honchos know about your predicament will get you the response that you were hoping for.

If you do not get a positive reply from your effort, perhaps it is time to go public with your complaint. Let others know that this is not a company to do business with in order to prevent them from experiencing a similar situation. It may seem as though rude people are all around us, but proper strategies for handling rude people will help you stick up for yourself without becoming one of them. If you are reading this article and think that you might fall into the category of rude people with your own inconsiderate behavior - stop now, and find ways to spread courtesy instead.

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