Sonnet 69 was written by Pablo Neruda in the 20th century. As I was reading the original sonnet, I was filled with inner joy and love. The original sonnet brings profound feelings, flashbacks, and makes you and the sonnet feel as if one. However, the translation of sonnet 69 does not. It is rather dull and brings no sense of joy. In sonnet 69, the type of figurative language that is being used is hyperbole; which helps create emphasis. In Stanza 2, the line “like the red beginning of a rose” compared to the translation “like the red origin of the rose” contrasts incredibly.
The word beginning flows more naturally, goes along with rose, and simply sounds better. The word choice of origin in the translation does not quite go along with the rose and it does not flow naturally. One major part that incredibly brings feeling is the last stanza. The original sonnet wins because of the way it is written. The first two lines end with commas, which builds up mood/feeling. Then it ends with a period, which tells you it is the end of the whole feeling. In contrast to the original one, the translation version does not even flow.
The first line ends with a period, which does not build up feelings. In addition it uses too many words, which turns into a tongue twister. The original Sonnet and the translation both are different grammatically. The second stanza in the original sonnet ends with a period, while the translation ends with a comma. I think the period was the better choice because the sestets start next, which is something new. Lastly, I think that the original sonnet captures the concept of love rather than the translation.
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