A blade tearing through skin... Unman skin.. Then the color, it was so vivid. As if you were staring at the sun with your bare eyes and they caught fire. And the feeling. Warm, dripping down my hands, seeping into my clothes. I find I am no longer able to walk without slipping on the pools of blood that cover my bedroom floor. There is no escape. Not even in sleep. I was overwhelmed by ambition. Thane Of Castor King The very though made me shake with excitement but now I can only tremble with fear.
Your letter announcing you had become THANE OF CASTOR was he spark that lit a flame of my ambition. I love you.. But I'm not the only one falling apart here... You'd be lying if you said you weren't. And us together, were falling apart. We only have catheter to trust however you no longer have trust in me. This path we have chosen.. Its not like we imagined it to me. We loathed power, status and respect. We've received betrayal and hatred. All that's left is the screams of a mother and her children, that wont leave my head.
I have sunk into an empty abyss and cannot find anyway out . This depression has taken me as a hostage and no one can rescue me, no matter how hard they try. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel. I can only hope that in death will find peace. Life here is just no longer bearable. I'm exhausted; this depression has become so insidious that can no longer see my future. You may view me as a coward but believe I am more brave and courageous then 10 Of you combined, so don't you even begin to view me like that. Remember I helped you get here so don't waste it.
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This isn't the path we had planned for.. But I can only believe my death will help clear it for you. I refuse to live life in fear any longer and the only way to achieve that is by not living. I know you'll understand. Though now it may not shine as bright, promise to keep your ambition lit and don't ever let anyone blow it out. Don't let them see your confidence waver. Until we reunite in death know that I will never lose my love for you. Its safer to be that which we destroy Than by destruction dwell in doubtful joy.
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