When I Saw Him

The first time I recognized him was from across the cafeteria of my old high school. He was decent looking, had nice eyes, and an amazing smile. I had met him at a party a few weeks ago and we had exchanged numbers. My friend told me that Tim had liked me since the beginning of the school year but just never acted upon it. Once I showed interest in him he leaped at the chance and asked me out. On our first date he took me to a lake and brought his guitar with him. With his beautiful voice he started singing a song and playing along just as stunningly.

I was so moved by his gesture that I started liking him back. The next few months were magical, but like any ordinary relationship the waters started getting a little rough as we got closer. The summer before he left for college was very difficult. I was getting scared of him leaving me so I got a little too clingy. We also started getting into trouble on more than one occasion. He liked to drink and smoke a little too much and I would get so angry when he would yell at me for asking him to settle down. He would say I wasn’t his mom.

He was right but I did care about him just as much as she did. He started going places without me and our communication got more and more limited. When he finally left for college is when everything fell apart. During month 10 of our relationship he was going to The New Hartford School of music and later on I found out that he also was selling drugs. Tim did all of the drugs he sold and even a few more. He eventually ran into some trouble with a couple of other drug dealers because he owed them a lot of money.

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His parents bailed him out and he moved back home. I had a feeling that Tim was getting more and more distant as he continued to go to college. He stopped calling altogether, and even when I called him he refused to answer. Texting became difficult because he wouldn’t give me full thoughts or answers. It got to the point where we didn’t talk for a full week before I was finally worn-out and drained from putting up with his shenanigans. I broke up with him because he was so confused and messed up by the drugs that he stopped talking to me for a straight week.

I apparently dumped him just in time too because a month after he was home he ended up getting arrested and thrown into jail for a number of felonies. I saw Tim change drastically while we were going out and I did not want to follow the horrible path he was going down. I loved him but he had to get his stuff together. I also found out that he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. We rushed into things both emotionally and physically way too fast. Now that I should really get to know a person before I agree to be in a relationship with them.

It wasn’t just his fault that the relationship fell apart. We both had issues when going into it that we didn’t communicate about. His parents did not like me, but they weren’t the nicest to Tim either. I had many problems of my own being a teenage girl in high school with bullies, school work, and family issues. In order to love someone else, a person has to love him/herself first. Tim and I just had too many problems from the beginning and we needed to focus on ourselves individually before going to fast, but we didn’t. Boy, was that a dumb thing to do.

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