Til Debt Do Us Part
Money has so much impact in this world. It is the cause of many stresses and problems people have in their day-to-day lives. But does money determine whether a relationship will last or not? I believe that while money may not be the main focus in a relationship, debt can determine whether a relationship will last or not if not handled properly.
For some people debt is something that some couples can live with. They decide what’s healthy debt and what’s unhealthy debt. Healthy debt is debt from buying a house, or paying for school. Many of them just focus on the most important parts of their relationship which is their love that they have for each other.
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With this in mind they feel they can look past whatever debt they may have and live a happy life.
Having large amounts of debt, has a direct relationship with divorce. Statistically many relationships have not lasted because of constant debt. Many times, these debts are built up from irresponsible spending on either both sides, or one side of a relationship. These relationships usually suffer from lacking of communication.
One of the many things that can cause a relationship to fail is budgeting. Budgeting is an important part of money management. Without budgeting you can’t keep track of expenses nor can you maintain a proper living status. Many times there can be a huge disconnect between spouses when it comes to budgeting. One may feel they spend too little on something and the other may feel they spend too much, and when this happens it causes struggles within a marriage. When it comes to making wise decisions pertaining money and where it should go and how it’s spent, if the right move is not made it can cause either temporary or permanent damage to both partners which can lead to the downfall of a relationship.
Having debt can be a big hendurance when trying to pay bill. Paying bills is an important part of a relationship because it determines whether you’ll have a food to eat, a place to sleep, whether or not you’re safe and etc. This is especially important if children are involved. With kids you have to make sure that they have child support money, if they’re young then baby sitting bills need to be paid if both parents are working.
Inability to Have Entertainment
Constantly trying to keep up with paying bills will eventually cause a spouse to cut entertainment out of the budget. In a relationship, having entertainment such as date nights and traveling are very important and healthy parts of the relationship and without them it can bring boredom. Having occasional entertainment keeps a level of peace and minimizes stress. Being bored in a relationship, can lead to many things that can threaten the existence of the relationship. As an affect, this opens the door to stress.
Not being able to freely spend due to debt eventually leads to stress. This stress takes an immense toll on the emotional development of a relationship. When the relationship is clouded by stress, it tends to lead to irritability which causes arguments. Arguments can spark up mean and hateful words, and for past issues to be brought up. As the arguing continues it then leads to losing feelings for one another.
Stress also takes a toll on health. Stress can worsen or increase the risk of conditions like obesity, heart disease, diabetes, depression, and etc. With sicknesses, you will then need to pay for hospital bills from getting check ups, and if money is tight, this will just cause even more stress.
Constantly feuding and arguing over money, will eventually bring a disconnect of communication. Communication brings unity, understanding, and clarity. Having these things will bring a sense of safety within a relationship, but without it, the marriage can crumble. When unity begins to falter in a relationship, then there becomes a lack of teamwork. This lack of teamwork in a relationship is then called being “Spouses but not Partners.” When this happens, there comes secrecy. When secrecy comes into play, it causes you to spend secretly and making decisions without consulting with your spouse which can lead to distrust in the relationship.
When you no longer trust your partner, then you feel you have to protect yourself. As stated by Loftus, “The last thing in the world you want in a marriage is to feel that you have to protect yourself from your partner, or that you have to wall off a portion of your life.” When one feels they have to protect themself from their partner, it then leads to “The Big Break.” Unless couples are willing to be proactive and come up with a strategic plan to work together in budgeting their finances, then debt has a high possibility to cause the relationship to falter.