A Brief Overview of Kostenberger and Jones’ Book

Last Updated: 16 May 2023
Essay type: Summary
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Reflecting on God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation

Summary

Andrea J. Kostenberger and David W. Jones have written a dynamic book that provides insightful, Christian-grounded information for married couples or persons who have been divorced, or even those who are single. There is so much that the Bible teaches us about the institution of marriage. From what one knows and understands about marriage, the concept of family is formed.

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Readers of this work will gain a greater insight into how The Old and the New Testament thoroughly covers the topics of marriage and family. From the initial creation of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden throughout Paul's teachings, there is so much to understand about the Creator's standard for marriage and family. While some people would argue that these standards have changed, Kostenberger and Jones accurately assert that God continues to want to be at the forefront of His people's lives.

Those readers looking for a simple read will likely find that this is not their first choice, since there are challenging topics that require discipline and focus to truly accept what the book asserts. In addition to discussing what the Old Testament and New Testament say about marriage and family, the authors also address morality. This moral discussion directly addresses divorce, abortion, homosexuality, singleness, and birth-control methods.

Readers will become poignantly aware of how marriage, family, and other moral issues compile to create a family plan. With a strong foundation and backing in scripture, the sanctity of life is presented. In depth discussion of practical guidelines to use in a generation of temptation and sacrifices is presented. The authors' discussion of these guidelines is helpful and not overly preachy.

Parents of teenagers will also appreciate the information provided about guiding children in the right direction, as they explore their independence and sexuality. Clearly, a vital resource - this book has been expanded to address these topics with more thoroughness. The authors are willing and able to accept that as lifestyles change their approach to providing meaningful, relevant advice must also change; this is why there have been changes between the first and second editions.

This book is simply not a book that one reads and is done with. There is far too much information presented in the pages. Instead, it is a reference that one can refer back to during different stages of life (Kostenberger & Jones, 2010).

Concrete Response

The chapter related to "The Nature of Marriage and the Role of Sex in the Marriage" was definitely one that I could relate with. Since I was a small child, I have been taught that sex is reserved for marriage. Unfortunately, today's societal standards illustrate sex as more of a casual encounter, rather than an intimate expression between two people who have pledged their lives together in a trinity with God. Clearly, the authors are emphasizing that being grounded in God's word verifies that premarital sex is clearly a violation of God's expectations for us.

Furthermore, I appreciated the authors' discussion of the sacramental concept of marriage. Throughout my life, I have been taught that my obligations are in direct response to God and His teachings. As the authors present, there are far too many diversions in people getting distracted by cultural and traditional teachings that are actually not grounded in the word at all. I have been exposed to some friends who highly desired a Christian wedding ceremony.

They wrote beautiful vows that were poetic and expressed God's word throughout the ceremony, both in spoken form and in other symbolic notions; nonetheless, this couple has spent the past couple of years living together. Clearly, the couple's previous actions did not convey that they were truly desiring the Christian relationship that they were depicting in their ceremony. Now, I realize that sounds overly judgmental, but this book clearly shows how their choices were opposite from God expects of us.

As I eventually pursue marriage, but maintain singleness, I don't know that I would have originally found this text to be applicable to me; nonetheless, after having read it, I can definitely see its application for my life - now and in the future (Kostenberger & Jones, 2010). Reflection

In reflecting on my reading, there are various questions that I would like for information on. The concept of 'submission' has always been controversial and remains problematic in my understanding as to what was actually meant by this statement. Clearly, Christ wants husband and wife to become one and act in a cohesive, balanced manner, but nonetheless, this obtrusive word remains there for people to ponder. What is really meant by a wife's submissiveness?

The question regarding two unequally yoked people getting married is also something that I have struggled with understanding. What happens when a man and woman get married, but they are not both Christians? Are they starting their marriage off on the wrong foot and will continue to be stressed in their relationship because of this difference? While the author clearly notes that we are expected to be in a relationship where both are believers, the chances of this always happening (or even happening the majority of the time) seems less common than common.

My final question centers on divorce. Sadly, today, more marriages end in divorce than those marriages that actually thrive and reach longevity. Does God really mean that one marriage is all we are allowed? What if in my marriage I was faithful and my spouse chose to be unfaithful and ultimately leave our marriage? Does God want me to continue a life of singleness following divorce because of my partner's disobedience?

There is some good discussion of these topics throughout the book; nonetheless, my own understanding of these issues remains vague (Kostenberger & Jones, 2010). Application

After reading this book, there is clearly a lot for me to learn about the concept of family and marriage. While my understanding has been shaped by church attendance, learning scripture, and observing people who have successfully illustrated marriage, there remains a lot of room for me to grow and continue acquiring the knowledge needed to be part of a marriage that is grounded in His words and His expectations.

Prior to getting marry, it is imperative for me to remain true to His word. This requires that I am armed with the toolkit of knowledge and what His word says about being in a relationship and not married. Or, what His word says about being single when I am not in a relationship. There are different expectations from what my life should be like as a single individual, rather than someone who is in a married relationship. Society has lowered its expectations and virtually eliminated the "Scarlet Letter" of sorts from how people act. In fact, people are more than likely praised for not waiting to be sexually active, rather than remaining pure for marriage. In an era where promiscuity is common, it is more appropriate than ever that I choose Christian values and stick to those values.

Understanding what a Christian marriage looks like even before I am married is ideal. Since understanding what a Christian marriage looks like will aid me in finding and selecting a mate to spend my life with, it makes sense for me to acquire and continually develop this understanding now. By looking at the Biblical model for relationships and marriage, I can acquire a strong foundation. This foundation can be further refined and developed based on marriages that I am exposed to in my own life. It is important for me to talk to couples who have been married for say twenty-five years or more and see how these couples have been so successful (Heffernan, 2017).

In brief, I would summarize my action steps by:

  1. Reading God's word.
  2. Creating goals and non-negotiables for finding a lifetime partner.
  3. Talk with married couples who have been married for 25 or more years.
  4. Define what marriage and family should look like based on scripture and resources such as this book.

Knowledge seems like a key component to making a plan and moving forward with creating a life that is centered on His word ((Kostenberger & Jones, 2010; Kostenberger, 2017).

 

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A Brief Overview of Kostenberger and Jones’ Book. (2023, May 16). Retrieved from https://phdessay.com/a-brief-overview-of-kostenberger-and-jones-book/

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