Manuela Almeida

The teenage years are for some the most traumatic or wonderful years they will ever experience.  Many experiences through these years decide how individuals will act as adults, the paths they will take in life, the careers they will choose, and if and how they raise their families.  I remember a choice that I made as a teenager that would forever change my life.  To this day, that choice still affects me.

Choosing not to go to a party with my friends saved my life.  My friends were in a terrible car accident leaving the party, and one of them did not survive.  This experience has affected the choices I make today.  Because of the loss of my friend, I do not take unnecessary risks, I monitor my behavior in social situations, and I have a greater respect for life.

Losing my friend when I was a teenager has made me very cautious about getting into potentially dangerous situations.  Just as the night I chose not to go to the party, I often opt out of celebrations that involve alcohol or have the potential to offer drugs.  I usually will go to the coffee shop or to dinner with a friend or family member instead.  Potentially dangerous or volatile friends scare me as well.  I don’t get close to risk takers for the fear of losing them.

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My group of friends in high school was a little bit wild, and since the night of the party that took my friend’s life, I have changed my circle of friends.  I don’t go to the clubs to drink, but will go to dance every now and again if I am going with another friend who is also planning on staying sober.  Even when I stay in, I do not partake in risky behaviors.  I do not drink alcohol or take drugs.  Unnecessary risks are just that; unnecessary.

“Going out” doesn’t mean the same thing to me now as it did to me in high school.  Then, it was all about finding a place to party, listening to music, drinking alcohol illegally, and “hooking” up with people.  Since that fateful night years ago, I monitor my behavior in social situations very carefully.  Before even going out, I make sure that I have a safe friend to accompany me.

I make sure that I am always prepared with a cell phone and extra money in case something happens and that someone in my family knows where I am at all times.  When I do go to a club to do some dancing, I don’t drink, and I leave well before 1 a.m., which is when people seem to be getting the most drunk and impaired.  Again, I try not to attract any risky people by portraying myself as wild.  I keep a careful eye on what is going on around me at all times.  I can still have fun, don’t get me wrong, but my friend’s death is never far from my memory when I am around alcohol.

Since the loss of my friend, I value life much more.  As a teen, I thought I was invincible and that I knew it all, as most teens do.  I snuck around behind my parent’s backs without permission to do the things I wanted to do.  I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t care.  I did not see the value in my young life and the potential that I had for my future.  I did not care about my parents or family members’ feelings; I was very self-centered.  I just wanted to have fun and “live my life”.

The moment I lost my friend, I realized that the only people who were guaranteed to be there for me through my life were my parents and my family.  I turned to them for support and guidance through the ordeal.  They became more special to me than they had been in a long time, and I valued them.  I also valued myself more since I saw how important I was to them.  I witnessed the grief of my friend’s family members and could not imagine my family having to face the same fate unnecessarily.  If I could prevent something terrible from happening to me, I would do that not only for myself, but for them as well.

Teenagers think they are invincible.  They take risks.  Part of this is just growing up.  I took some risks that could have ended my life, and so did my friends.  Fortunately, I skipped out on that night and made a better choice.  Since that night I have also made better choices and it has improved my life tremendously.  I watch what I do and where I do it.  I am aware of my surroundings at all times.  I reach out to my family and keep in touch with them and let them know that I am OK.  I value my family and their support and love and realize what a special person I am in this world to them.  Because of tragedy, I have become a better person.  My friend’s death still haunts me, but it also keeps me sober and aware of my own precious life.

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