Looking for Mr. Right

Most single people in every society around the world have one thing in common. We are all looking for a partner that we can marry. Every society has its method on how we choose a spouse. The Indians have arranged marriages, the Chinese have online dating websites, and the Americans have social gatherings. All of the methods are different but do we find the the perfect partner? While on a field trip, Serena Nanda, met many young singles that was in the process of being arranged for marriage.

She couldn’t understand, why these young men and women weren’t reluctant and against the idea of them being married off to a complete stranger that their parents picked. In America we are not used to the term arranged marriage. In an American society, we marry someone we choose, are attracted, and love. Whereas in china they have online dating where they choose from many profiles online and chat through emails which then leads to meeting in person and finally getting married. In Indian culture arranged marriages have been the norm for many centuries and almost all marriages are arranged.

Serena Nanda, met this young intelligent college graduate name Sita. She had been waiting close to over a year for her parents to pick someone whom she would marry. Sita believed, marriage is so important that it should not be left to them, inexperienced people, to choose. It's so important that she left it in the hands of her parents. While, Americans would say, “we who are getting married would know best. ” Since we are going to be spending the rest of our life we should know whom we would get along with or whom we love.

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In contrast, Gong Haiyan is a college educated chinese women, who does not have the luxury of having a option between arranged marriage or of choosing for herself. If it was up to her parent to pick a partner for her they would be able to find someone whom she would be interested . And if it was up to her to find someone. She didn’t have time and like she said, “I didn’t know a soul in the city. ” The only option she had was online dating. This method is a relatively a new form of finding a love. In a Chinese society of 1. billion people separated from love by “three towering mountains,”with no social scenes, no time, and no connections. China’s online dating solves all these problems. With a couple minutes they can create a profile in a online dating website with little or no money and be connected to other singles. Online dating is designed to help provide an efficient way for people to meet potential partners and to get to know them through emails. Eventually you narrow down your options and if you connect then you get married. This method has worked and many Chinese have found a spouse and are happy.

Gong Haiyan and many other found their spouse through online dating are married. For Americans dating takes place in social gatherings. Social gatherings can be co-ed softball teams, bars, parties, churches or libraries where people with similar interests can meet and socialize. The process of dating in America is called traditional dating in a social scene. It starts by asking a man or woman of interest out on a traditional date. Usually Americans ask out on several dates to dinners, dances or movies and get’s to further explore the relationship and person he or she is.

You get to know that person’s character and personality through dating and if a friendship is developed then it can lead to a romantic relationship and hopefully lead to marriage. Whereas in India they rely on the parents guidance, they decide if the match is suitable and only then will the bride and groom have a say. They won’t compel their child to marry a person whom they dislike. If the match is refused by one only then will another be sought. The process of looking for a partner for their child is not easy. It may take years to find the right match.

Arranged marriage, online dating and traditional dating have many similarities but yet at the same time have many differences. Arranged marriages in India have made me realize just how picky marriage are. In India marriage is not just important between the individuals but also important between the family. They need to know the bride’s characteristics to see if she will get along with the family of the groom. Once married the bride will move in with the groom’s family and she needs to get along or she can find it very difficult. In the end all they want is someone that has a good personality that the family could get along.

Whereas in China and America they don't pay attention to the bride or groom getting along with the family because they are not expecting to move in with the In-laws. For this reason family relationship is overlooked and is not a priority. Another major difference is how divorce is looked at. In India family reputation is so important that a divorce is still a scandal. And in China and America, divorce is just looked as normal. It happens when two individuals lose interest in each other or when they no longer are happy. In America when one is in love with someone, we don't care if someone in the household was divorced.

It has no weight. In India if someone in the household was divorced it puts the whole family in a negative light and it makes hard to get re-married. In every society single people are looking for someone to marry. In India the parents of the bride and groom are focused in finding the right partner. In China online dating tend to focus on finding a husband or wife and in America oneself looks for a prospective partner. In the end the methods are different but the end result is the same, they all find a husband or wife but did they make right decision? Only time will tell.

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