Family Life Can Create Considerable Stress
How do know? Well let’s just say experience has the best of me on this one. For example, the relationship with my parents I think broke my heart more than it did theirs. Although they weren’t married, so I didn’t experience the process of a divorced family they still separated.
I was about four and lots of people don’t remember that much when you’re that young, but I did. I remember the bond me and my father shared, we were inseparable. Remember the bond me and my dad’s mom had, she was my nana felt her love no matter where was. Subsequently my mother took me and left.
That was family and she left without a problem. Was devastated, growing up that never left my mind, and how easy it was for her to just, leave. I let the stress build thinking of growing up without a father just got to me. Now I didn’t go through divorce papers, courts and custody battles I could imagine that’s a whole lot worse than what my situation was. But do know the feeling of separated parents, I do know how it feels to think about having that family where everything was normal and you had them tot by your side, in one place you can really call home.
Now being with divorced or separated parents is stressful just think you don’t want to choose sides you love them both. They both love you as well, that why they’ve set up this arrangement so you can switch every weekend, summer and/or holiday. There’s a plus you can have two rooms, two birthdays and so forth. On the contrary you have to deal with step parents, step siblings arguments with who gets you on Christmas day or who can keep you an extra day longer. The stress is just overwhelming don’t you think?
You love them both, so you don’t want to say no to them, you don’t want them thinking you are choosing sides, one over the other so what do you do. Then you have friends to deal with at both places and depending on how far apart your parents live from each other. Your friends at your dads are going bowling one weekend and your friends at your moms are going to the movies that same weekend and now you have to choose who you want to hang out with. Its just stressful. All they want is you, and all you want is stability.
One home, one family, one life. Now there are those situations where you don’t have two rooms, you don’t have to deal with both parents and all the arguments and what not. You just have to deal with one parent. That sounds whole lot less stressful right? It can be, but then there are those people who aren’t as fortunate as others. People who let their stress override them and their parent wasn’t there to help. The type of residence you grow up in is critical to the process of a child who has divorced parents or only one parent.
If no one is there for them and they onto know where to turn to the world we live in today can provide them with lots of things to turn to. All it takes is hanging with the wrong crowd. For instance I only had my mother and due to the fact that she was never home had no one to turn to, so started hanging out in the streets. One thing led to another and there was every day, every night in the street up to no good with the wrong people not going to school, fighting, doing drugs, drinking stealing and so much more that I know I will regret for the rest of my life.
All of the drugs, drinking and fighting made me think it took the stress away it eloped me forget until was sober again, but that just gave me more of reason to do it more. This went on for about four years. While I thought it was taking the stress away it was really putting on more stress, if I didn’t have what I needed to take the stress away I stressed about it, looking for whatever would take it all away. Now I’m not saying this is exactly what will happen everyone has their different ways of coping with things and it all just depends on what’s in front of you at the moment. Its also about who you turn to.
Whether they are there for you or for themselves. Not everyone can relate, but you would be surprised on how many people do relate. Its tough when you don’t have the proper people to turn to, or you have all of the bad choices sitting right in front of you. So much pressure, so much stress, it will never stop no matter how many times you tell yourself you got this, you can do it, it just won’t stop. The stress just overwhelms you. But you can fight it, you know the bad choices the stress, you can override it, and all you need to do is talk to someone or have someone give you that push you need.