Social Psychology-6

John Bowlby/Primary Anxiety
A child is attached to their mother by many instinctual response systems, each of which is primary and which together create a high survival value.

soon after birth, conditions of isolations tend to activate crying, clinging, and following

infants experience of fright and fear. when frightened, infants and young children look to their mother for security and if they fail to find her are doubly upset: both 1. comfort and 2. security are missing

Mary Ainsworth found two different attachment styles
1. people who are securely attached
2. people insecurely attached
securely attached people
gains comfort and confidence from the presence of his or her caregiver

know that if mom leaves, she’ll probably be back, doesn’t freak out

three main types of insecure
1. avoidant: avoid connection with caregiver, seems not to care about the caregivers presence, when they leave, or when they come back
2. anxious/ambivalent: anxiety and uncertainty are obvious, becomes extremely distressed when mom leaves, and when the mom comes back, still anxious bc they don’t trust their mom
3: disorganized: a type of attachment that is marked by the child’s inconsistent reactions to mom’s leaving and return
most of the insecure attachment styles focused on will be
avoidant and axious
strange situation
A study measuring attachment by inducing infants’ reactions, in response to various adults’ emergences and departures in an unfamiliar playroom.
Child and caregiver enter into a playroom. After one minute, a person unknown to the infant enters the room and slowly tries to make acquaintance.
The caregiver leaves the child with the stranger for three minutes; and then returns.
The caregiver leaves for a second time, leaving the child alone for three minutes.
The stranger who enters then tries to comfort the infant. Lastly, the caregiver returns, and is instructed to pick the child up.
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how does a secure toddler play
exploration of the toys, plays happily
reaction to the caregiver’s departure
a secure toddler misses the caregiver
reaction to the caregiver’s return
a secure toddler welcomes the caregiver’s appearance
GAD
generalized anxiety disorder. different from panic disorder. generally anxious across all stuations. mild grade of anxiety, all the time.
secure attachment not correlated to
measures of depression and anxiety on all six emotional regulation scale. did not have any problems with regulating emotions.
people who are anxiously attached had a positive correlation
between anxiety and depression
people who are avoidant only related to
being depressed and non-acceptance (indicating problems with accepting negative emotions)
secure attachment
More confidence in being able to manage emotions; more able to stay focused on goals; control impulsive behaviors, and to distinguish, acknowledge, and accept their emotions during times of problems.
insecure attachment may promote….

thus increasing….

Insecurity may promote ineffective emotion regulation and thus increase risk for disorders.
clinging behavior is used to alleviate
worry related stress. they are afraid you will leave them
depression is caused
by anxiety and attachment worry which is a risk factor for feeling sad
the attachment behavioral system is conceptualized as
a biologically based, innate system that protects individuals by keeping them close to caregivers in the face of danger
the attachment system triggers beahaviors designed to
protect individuals from physical harm and also to help regulate affect
women tend to show stronger cardiovascular and neuroendocrine reactions during
marital conflict compared with men
men who engage in dominant behavior show
heightened affective and physiological reactions, suggesting that dominance may be more consequential for men’s health. certain behaviors elicit certain reactions
gender differences may reflect a combination of…
biological and socialization processes wihich result in greater sensitivty and effort in relationships and coping with stressful events
greater prenatal support predicts more
optimal fetal growth, higher infant birth weight, and reduced risk of low birth weight
securely attached individuals reported receiving
more effective support from their partners
more securely attached women reported
healthy reliance on their network, stronger kin collectivism, more emotional expression, and stronger conflict management skills

women who perceived more effective social support from their partners in midpregnancy had lower anxiety and reported less fearful and distressed infant behavior

insecure attachment predicts health risks such as
greater drug use, poorer body image, risky sexual behavior, greater alcohol use, poorer diet, and less exercise in both adolescents and adults.
anxiously attached metastatic cancer patients with severe physical symptoms experienced
more depressive symptoms; this association was weakened for those with low attachment anxiety
severe disease symptoms can trigger
greater threat for those with anxious attachment, leading to more vulnerability to distress
secure attachment (low anxiety) may
buffer individuals from distress, even under threatening circumstances
avoidantly-attached spouses have an
increased inflammatory response (interluekin small proteins) after a conflict interaction
insecurely attached dating partners show
greater cortisol reactivity in response to conflict
romantic love can be conceptualized as an attachment process
a bisocial process by which affectional bonds are formed between adult loves, just as affectional bonds are formed earlier in life between infants and their parents
found that
a) attachment styles is roughly the same in adulthood as in infancy
b) secure, avoidant, and ambivalent/anxious attached people experienced love differently
c) attachment style impacts “mental modes” (view on love)
securely attached people experience love as
happy, friendly, trusting. still trusts and love partners despite faults. relationsihps last longer (10.02 yrs), 4.86 anxious/ambivalent, 5.9 avoidant
people who are anxiously attached
experienced love as involving obsession, desire for reciprocation and unity, emotional highs and lows, and extreme sexual attraction and jealousy.
avoidant attached
feared intimacy, emotional highs & lows, and expressed jealousy
secure romantic love
romantic feelings increase and decrease. can reach intensity as experienced early in the relationship and in some cases never reallly fade
avoidant romantic love
head over heals love in movies does not really exist, romantic love rarely lasts, and it is rare to find someone to fall in love with
anxious/ambivalent
romantic feelings increase and decrease. it is easy to fall in love, freqeuntly feel themselevs beginning to fall in love, although they rarely find real love
securely attached mental modes (view on self and others)
described selves as easy to get to know, liked by others, and believed that others are generally well intentioned and good hearted
anxiously/ambivalent mental modes
more self doubts, feel misunderstood, underappreciated and reported that others are less able and willing to commit to a relationship than they were
avoidant mental modes
fell in extremes of the secure and anxious respondents (closer to anxious respondents answers)
greater trait loneileness found among
insecure attachment, specifically anxious/amibvalent group. avoidant group admitted to being distant, but not feelign lonely
many marriages, disruptions like divorce and widowhood often active
the attachment system, reveal the strength of attachment bonds that were previously invisible. loneliness and grieving are signs of the depth of broken attachments
although romantic relationships are much more complex than infantile attachments,
they are impacted by attachment style
secure attachment in relationships is associated with
trust, stability, support, and satisfaction
results of break up secure attachment
less apprehension about seeing their ex

less likely to blame partner

less likely to get back into the relationship

readiness to start dating again

insecure attachment break up
results of break up secure attachment
results of break up secure attachment
less apprehension about seeing their ex

less likely to blame partner

less likely to get back into the relationship

readiness to start dating again

insecure attachment break up
greater distress from breakup

breakup less than amicable

welcomed opportunity to get back into relationship, but indicated that the ex partner was more to blame for the breakup

less likely to be ready to start dating other people

ambivalence twoard the partner may have implications for the dynamics of the relationship if the couple gets back together
anxious individuals engage in poor coping techniques such as withdrawal, wishful thinking, self-defeating thoughts, show hyper-vigilance of information that threatens the relationship or reinterpret innocuous information in relationship-threating ways
divorce rate of first marriage in 10 years?
33%
Propinquity
The people who, by chance, are the ones you see and interact with the most often are the most likely to become your friends and lovers.
mere-exposure effect
the finding that the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it (provided the stimulus is not noxious, in which case exposure leads to greater disliking).
similarity and attraction
Although folk wisdom suggests that complementarity, or attraction to opposites, prevails, the research evidence shows that similarity, not complementarity, draws people together.
why are we attracted to similar others?
we expect similar others to like us and thus are more likely to initiate relationships; similar others validate our characteristics and beliefs; and we draw inferences about character based on perceived similarity.
physical attractiveness
a major determinant of liking in studies of first impressions.
Walster et al. (1966)
conducted a classic computer dating study that randomly matched students for a blind date at a dance at freshman orientation. Of all the characteristics that could determine liking and a desire to date the person again, the major determinant was physical attractiveness.
Feingold (1990)
both sexes value attractiveness, although men value it somewhat more than women; however, this difference is larger for stated attitudes and values than for actual behavior.
Cunningham (1986)
For both sexes, this standard includes large eyes, prominent cheekbones, and a big smile. For women, a small nose and chin, narrow cheeks, large pupils and high eyebrows are considered attractive; for men, a large chin is considered attractive
Langlois and Roggman (1990)
hypothesize that this agreement may be due to evolutionary mechanisms and suggested that the attractive faces are those whose features are those that are statistically average. A test using computer composites of 16 different faces supports the hypothesis
Average faces are not the most attractive; they are just more attractive than the individual faces that are averaged in the composite.
attractiveness stereotype: “what is beautiful is good”
The beautiful are thought to be more sociable, extraverted and socially competent than the less attractive; and are also seen as more sexual, happier, and more assertive.
social exchange theory
states that how people feel about a relationship depends on their perceptions of the rewards and costs of the relationship, the kind of relationship they believe they deserve or expect to have (their comparison level) and their chances for having a better relationship with someone else (their comparison level for alternatives).
comparison level
the kind of relationship they believe they deserve or expect to have
comparison level for alternatives
their chances for having a better relationship with someone else
evolution and mate selection
Evolutionary biology judges an animal’s “fitness” in terms of its reproductive success; the evolutionary approach to love states that men and women are attracted to different characteristics in each other: men are attracted by women’s appearance; women are attracted by men’s resources—because these foster reproductive success.
companionate
the feelings of intimacy and affection we feel for another person when we care deeply for the person but do not necessarily experience passion or arousal in his or her presence.
passionate love
the feelings of intense longing, accompanied by physiological arousal, we feel for another person; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair.
does love vary over different cultures?
Culture plays a role in how people label their experiences and what they expect from them. While romantic love may be nearly universal across cultures, different rules alter how that state is experienced and expressed.
attachment styles
focuses on the expectations people develop about relationships based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants. The theory suggests that these influence the kinds of relationships we have as adults.
secure
develops in those who have responsive caregivers as infants and is characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned, and the view that one is worthy and well-liked.
avoidant
develops in those who have aloof and distant caregivers as infants and is characterized by a suppression of attachment needs because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed; people with this style find it difficult to develop intimate relationships
anxious-ambivalent
develops in those who had inconsistent and overbearing caregivers as infants and is characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher than average levels of anxiety.
Hazan and Shaver (1987)
asked people to select one of three overall descriptors of attachment style; their selection was related to the quality of their romantic relationships. This and other data connecting people’s reports of relationships with their parents to reports of romantic relationships are consistent with attachment theory.
attachment styles and relationship quality?
anxious/ambivalent while the expectations of these two types are complementary, these relationships are low in satisfaction and high in communication problems. Anxious women paired with avoidant men had very stable relationships because they attribute relationship problems to their partner’s gender. Couples in which the man is anxious and the woman is avoidant do not last long because each person’s behavior is seen as especially troubling because it deviates from the stereotype.
the investment model of commitment
defines investments as anything people have put into relationships that would be lost if they left it. The greater the investment, the less likely people are to leave a relationship, even if satisfaction is low and other alternatives look promising. Thus people’s commitment to a relationship depends on their satisfaction with the relationship, their view of alternatives, and how much they have invested in the relationship.
Rusbult (1983)
finds that rewards are always important in determining the outcome of relationships, while costs become increasingly important over time.
equity theory
argues that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs a person experiences and the contributions he or she makes to the relationship are roughly equal to the rewards, costs, and contributions of the other person. According to the theory, both under- and over-benefited partners should be motivated to restore equity, although research finds that this is truer for the under-benefited.
breaking up: Duck’s (1982) model
theorizes that there are four stages of dissolution of a relationship: intrapersonal (focusing on dissatisfaction), dyadic (revealing these to the partner), social (announcing the breakup to others), and back to intrapersonal (devising accounts of the breakup as we recover from it).
Femlee (1998)
found that 30% of breakups in college were “fatal attractions”: the qualities that were initially attractive later became the reasons for a breakup.
the psychology of online attraction
Those who met on the Internet were more attracted to each other than those who met face-to-face.
Attachment Theory
Adult relationship patterns are based on working models of close relationships formed with primary attachment figures in childhood.
Harlow Experiment
Infant monkeys spent more time with cloth mother, going to wire mother only for feeding. Positive emotions afforded by touch (Contact comfort)
Secure Base
Attachment figure becomes base for exploration in which internal working models of self, others, and relationships develop.
Secure
Attachment style: Upset when mother leaves and calms quickly upon reunion and returns to play. (60%). Caused by available, sensitive, responsive, and reliable parenting.
Insecure Avoidant
Attachment style: Indifferent or distressed when mother leaves and indifferent, sullen, or distancing upon reunion. (15-20%). Caused by minimally responsive and independent emphasizing parenting.
Insecure Anxious-Ambivalent
Attachment style: Intense distress when mother leaves and ambivalent (comfort-seeking/angry) upon reunion. (15-20%). Caused by inconsistent responsive parenting.
Stranger Anxiety
Fear of strangers develops around 8 months and declines after 15 months.
Insecure-Disorganized
Attachment Style: Inconsistent when mother leaves and stereotyped or confused behavior upon return. (5-10%). Caused by intrusiveness, withdrawing, and abusive parenting.
Adulthood Attachment
Can be caused by childhood attachment figures.
Equity
Sustains relationships: A condition in which the outcomes people receive from a relationship are proportional to what they contribute to it.
Self-disclosure
Sustains relationships: Revealing personal information about oneself to other people.
Disclosure reciprocity
The tendency for one person’s intimacy of self-disclosure to match that of a conversational partner.
Proximity
Geographical nearness. Proximity (more precisely, “functional distance”) powerfully predicts liking.
Functional Distance
How often people’s paths cross.
Mere Exposure
The tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more positively after the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them.
The Matching Phenomenon
The tendency for men and women to choose as partners those who are a “good match” in attractiveness and other traits.
Complementarity
The popularly supposed tendency, in a relationship between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the other.
Ingratiation
The use of strategies, such as flattery, by which people seek to gain another’s favor.
Reward Theory of Attraction
The theory that we like those whose behavior is rewarding to us or whom we associate with rewarding events.
Propinquity Effect
the finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends
Mere Exposure Effect
the finding that the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it
Evolutionary Approach to Mate Selection
a theory derived from evolutionary biology that holds that men and women are attracted to different characteristics in each other (men are attracted by women’s appearance; women are attracted by men’s resources) because this maximizes their chances of reproductive success
Evolutionary Psychology
the attempt to explain social behavior in terms of genetic factors that have evolved over time according to the principles of natural selection
Companionate Love
the feelings of intimacy and affection we have for someone that are not accompanied by passion or physiological arousal
Passionate Love
an intense longing we feel for a person, accompanied by physiological arousal; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair
Attachment Styles
the expectations people develop about relationships with others, based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants
Secure Attachment Style
an attachment style characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned, and the view that one is worthy and well liked
Avoidant Attachment Style
an attachment style characterized by a suppression of attachment needs because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed; people with this style find it difficult to develop intimate relationships
Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment Style
an attachment style characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher than average levels of anxiety
Social Exchange Theory
the idea that people’s feelings about a relationship depend on their perceptions of the rewards and costs of the relationship, the kind of relationship they deserve, and their chances for having a better relationship with someone else
Comparison Level
people’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they are likely to receive in a particular relationship
Comparison Level for Alternatives
people’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they would receive in an alternate relationship
Investment Model
the theory that people’s commitment to a relationship depends not only on their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of rewards, costs, and comparison level and their comparison level for alternatives, but also on how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it
Equity Theory
the idea that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs experienced and the contributions made by both parties are roughly equal
Exchange Relationships
relationships governed by the need for equity (i.e., for an equal ratio of rewards and costs)
Communal Relationships
relationships in which people’s primary concern is being responsive to the other person’s needs
John Boulby
A man with psychoanalysis background, believed in the power of adult-child attachment and that how a child is treated when they are younger will affect what they look for in relationships later in life.
Imprinting
For the first few stages of life, children identify with their caregiver – who’s nice/not nice to them – and they’ll expect the same treatment from people later in life.
Mary Aimsworth
A student of Boulby’s that made the ‘strange situation’ experiment.
Securely Attached
Often sit close to mom, when mom leaves show distress, child is happy when mom comes back.
Avoidance Attachment
Child treated mom & stranger in same way, when mom leaves/comes back there’s minimum reaction (but have anxiety, just don’t show it).
Anxious Ambivalent Attachment
Upset when mom leaves, when mom returns, child runs to mom to embrace her but then pushes her away.
Disorganized Attachment
They were inconsistent, walked to a corner and cry, throw temper tantrum & weren’t soothed when mom came back, these kids were usually from abusing/neglecting families.
Pre- Attachment
-1st Stage of Bowlbys attachment theory.
-Interact with humans, but see’s them as all the same.
Attachment in the making
-2nd stage of Bowlby’s attachment theory.
-Attachments become more familiar/infamiliar, but still may not protest upon seperation.
Clear cut attachment
-3rd Stage of Bowlby’s Attachment theory
-Specific Attachment starts to begin , ie parents and what not.
Goal Directed Attachment
-4th Stage of Bowlby’s attachment theory
– Understand peoples emotions/ people come/go/return.
-Seperation anxiety will decrease.
Pre-Attachment
0-2 month
Attachment in the making
3-7 months
Clear Cut attachment
8- 24 months
Goal Directed Attachment
24+ months
Close Relationships: Factors
-Attachment
-Love and Commitment
-How to keep the spark alive
attachment
-global orientation toward relationships
-internal working models, relational schemas
-set of beliefs, attitudes and expectations regarding:
*Self (worthy of love/support or not?)
*Others (available/supportive or not?)
*Relationships in general (rewarding or not?)
Bowlby: Attachment Theory
-innate tendency to form close bonds (infants)–> promotes proximity, increases the infant’s felt security under stress
-attachment system activated under stress
-childhood experiences create “internal working models of self and other”–> influence personality development and social behavior
Infants and Caregiving
-secure babies
-anxious-ambivalent babies (insecure attachment)
-avoidant babies
Differences in Adult vs. Infant
-sexual system
-greater symmetry in adult relationships (2-way street/caregiving is mutual)
-“felt security” without physical contact
Attachment Dimensions: Anxiety (anxious about abandonment) and Avoidance (of intimacy)
*Anxiety & Avoidance
1. Secure: low anxiety, low avoidance. positive model of self, positive model of others. comfortable with intimacy/trusting, give benefit of the doubt
2. Preoccupied: high anxiety, low avoidance. negative model of self, positive model of others. preoccupied with relationships, overly seeks intimacy, jealousy, clingy
3. Dismissing: low anxiety, high avoidance. positive model of self, negative model of others. not trusting, seeks independence and distance, casual sex, lacking closeness
4. Fearful: high anxiety, high avoidance. negative model of self, negative model of others. preoccupied with relationship, not trusting, fearful of and avoid intimacy
Why Attachment Matters
*Anxiety: high anxiety means…
-controlling, intrusive caregiving
-sexual activity to avoid rejection, feel loved
-perceiving partner as inattentive/reluctant to commit
-over-perceive conflict in relationship
*Avoidance: high avoidance means…
-provide less support to partners
-less frequent intimate sexual activity but more casual sex
-attend more to alternative partners (wandering eye)
-more emotional and physical infidelity
Attachment over time (Zayas et al., 2011)
-How we are treated as a child predicts our adult relationship behavior/quality (but not set in stone):
*differ by relationship, change with relationship experiences
-Longitudinal study
-Predictor: maternal caregiving at 18 mos (sensitivity & controlling behaviors)
-DV: attachment of child at age 22 (avoidance and anxiety dimensions….to friends, parents, & romantic partner)
Attachment over time (Zayas et al., 2011) RESULTS
-more sensitive, less controlling mom–> less avoidant and anxious attachment at 22
-not equal for all partners: mother’s caregiving does NOT predict attachment to mother, but DOES predict attachment to friends and romantic partner
*people rely on peers/mates more than parents in early adulthood
-attachment security: more commitment, trust, intimacy, less conflict, jealousy, negative emotion
-attachment styles can be self-perpetuating, but can differ by relationship and change with relationship experiences
Love: What is Love?
-Love changes over time
-Different types of love, can waiver or fade or grow into different types (it is not static)
-Sternberg’s Triangular Theory:
Intimacy (emotional investment) *warm
Passion (motivational involvement) *hot
Commitment (cognitive decision) *cool
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory
1 of 3:
Only intimacy: “liking”–> friends
Only passion: “infatuation”–> love at first sight, sexual desire, intense longing, absorbed
Only commitment: “empty love”–>parents together just for the kids/beginning of arranged marriage
2 of 3:
Intimacy & Passion: Romantic love, most studied, early relationship (The Notebook), swift onset, short duration, idealization of the beloved, intense emotions, sexual desire
Intimacy & Commitment: Companionate love, best friends or very long-term established relationship
Passion & Commitment: Fatuous love, commitment based on passion, ex. whirlwind relationships/rushing into marriage (Mr. & Mrs. Smith)
ALL 3:
CONSUMMATE LOVE!
None of 3: Non-love
two-factor theory of emotion
when the revved-up men responded to a woman, they easily misattributed some of their arousal to her
(Arousal x its label = emotion)
-being aroused by any source should intensify passionate feelings
Love Over Time
-Romantic love has a limited life span
-When relationships last, companionate love is what remains
-But the drop in romantic love is not inevitable
Novel, arousing activities and relationship quality (Reissman, Aron, & Bergen, 1993)
-“Exciting” activities (vs. pleasant but unexciting or control)–> increase in relationship quality over 10 weeks
*Avoid habituation (monotonous routine)
*Expand the self
-transfer of arousal (like the shaky bridge)
Rusbult’s Investment Model of Commitment (components of commitment, definitions of each)
-Why do relationships last? Satisfaction is NOT the most important predictor of relationship stability
-COMMITMENT (the tendency to maintain a relationship, to feel psychologically attached to it, for better or worse, long-term, intent to persist) is much more important!
The Investment Model
Rewards, Costs, and Comparison Level all lead to *Satisfaction with the relationship*
Other two…
*Level of investment in relationship* (things one would lose if the relationship ended…ex. kids, status, sex, friends)
*Quality of alternatives to relationship*
-When all 3 are high:
-*Satisfaction with the relationship* leads to high commitment to relationship–>stability of relationship
-*Level of investment in relationship* leads to high commitment to relationship–>stability of relationship
-*Quality of alternatives* leads to low commitment…higher quality of alternatives, less commitment!
_NOTE: We are satisfied when rewards minus costs are as good as or better than comparison level (what we expect/think we deserve) (*sw/r* and *lii/r*)
Core Components of Model
Satisfaction: does this fulfill my needs?
Investments: resources attached to relationship that you can’t take away
Quality of Alternatives: are my realistic alternatives attractive?
equity
a condition in which the outcomes people receive from a relationship are proportional to what they contribute to it
-note: equitable outcomes need not always be equal outcomes
self-disclosure
revealing intimate aspects of oneself to others (deep, companionate relationships)
disclosure reciprocity
the tendency for one person’s intimacy of self-disclosure to match that of a conversational partner
Derogation of alternatives (Simpson, Lerma, & Gangestad, 1990–plus Johnson & Rusbult, 1989)
-Being committed can lead a person to believing they have poorer alternatives
-Procedure: view advertisements, some depict young opposite sex models, rate physical and sexual attractiveness of the models, report own dating status
-Results: Both men and women: those involved in committed relationships rate models as less attractive than those who are single
*What about same-sex or older targets? People in relationships rate these models as just as attractive as those who are single!
-Relationship people derogate other potential partners
*More committed, more you derogate the alternatives
Divorce
-individualist cultures divorce more, more importance on love/”keeping the romance alive”
-must be determined to make marriage last, fear the termination cost, have a sense of moral obligation and be inattentive to possible alternative partners
-Stay married if: after 20, 2 parent stable homes, dated for a while before marriage, well&similarly educated, stable income, small town/farm, didn’t cohabit/preg out of wedlock, are religiously committed, similar age, faith and education
The Detachment Process
-preoccupation with lost partner, deep sadness, beginnings of emotional detachment, renewed sense of self
-a process
-more pain over breaking up with someone, not being dumped
-3 ways of coping with failing relationship:
*loyalty (constructive, passive), neglect (destructive, passive), voice concerns (constructive, active) or eventually exit (destructive, active)
Characterizing Relationships
-difficult
-not true experiments
-more often longitudinal studies
-try to understand what factors early in relationships
-problems: self-selection
Self-selection
A problem that arises when the participant, rather than the investigator, selects his or her level on each variable, bringing with this value unknown other properties that make causal interpretation of a relationship difficult.
Arguments for the Need to Belong
-evolutionary basis
-help individuals and offspring survive
-parent-offspring attachement ensures offspring survival and the continuation of genetics
-long term romantic bonds facilitate reproduction
-friendships is a means for nonkin to cooperate and avoid costs of competition and aggression
Universal features of relationships
-similar dynamics between romantic partners, parents and children, siblings, friends
-regardless of culture-> that’s what universal means
-specific kinds of play, support, and conflict may vary according to the culture
-parents in different cultures show similar kinds of attachment behaviors, including patterns of touch and eye contact
Evidence for the need to belong
-Harlow’s monkey experiment
-when the need to belong is not met over a long period of time, people tend to suffer profoundly negative consequences
Harlow’s Monkey Study
Monkey’s were given the option of cuddling with a wire monkey that provided food or a soft monkey that did not provide food. Baby monkeys spent most of their time clinging to the soft monkey. The soft monkey provided “contact comfort”. This demonstrated that food alone was not the basis for attachment.
In humans, mortality rates are higher for:
-divorced
-unmarried
-widowed
admissions to hospitals for psychological problems are 3-23 times higher for divorced
-suicide rates higher for sing and divorced
Having support strengthens
-cardiovascular
-immune
-endocrine
systems
Relations and the Sense of Self
-shape who we are
-relationships central to identities
-relational selves-> beliefs, feelings, and expectations about ourselves that derive from our relationships
Relational Self
The beliefs, feelings, and expectations that we have about ourselves that derive from our relationships with significant others in our lives.
-mother makes you feel sad-> supervisor that reminds you of your mother-> will transfer the feelings about mother also to supervisor
Past Relationships shape current interactions
-encountering people who remind us of significant others changes ho we think about ourselves in the current situations
-automatic
-shapes more immediate, accessible thoughts
Experiment:
-had participant interact with target person who reminded them of a positive or negative relationship
-process seems to be that:
1) the target reminds me of X
2) I therefore like the target
3) So I express positive affect toward the target
4) as a consequence, the target expresses positive affect toward me
Two fundamentally different types of relationships:
-communal relationships
-exchange relationships
-societies differ in which approach they generally prefer
-East Asia, Latin America-> communal
-European, Commonwealth-> exchange relationships
Communal Relationships
Relationships in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give and receive according to the principle of need; such relationships are often long-term.
-based on a sense of “oneness”
-close friends and family members
-come to resemble one another in the timing of their laughter and their specific emotional experiences
Exchange relationships
Relationships in which the individuals feel little responsibility toward one another and in which giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity; such relationships are often short-term.
-salespeople, bureaucrats
Reward and Social Exchange theories of Interpersonal Relationships
-even most intimate relationships based on exchange
-people tend to like/gravitate to people who give them rewards (direct, indirect, obvious, not obvious)
-how can you get people to like you: reward them
Social Exchange Theory
a theory based on the fact that there are costs and rewards in all relationships and that how people feel about a relationship depends on their assessments of its costs and rewards and the costs and rewards available to them in other relationships
-aim to maximize one’s rewards and minimize one’s costs.
-too many rewards and too few costs is not necessarily attractive either
-need to find a balance
Equity Theory
an assumption that how much people are willing to contribute to an organization depends on their assessment of the fairness, or equity, of the rewards they will receive in exchange
-rewards and costs are shared equally among individuals
Attachment Theory
A theory about how our early attachments with our parents shape our relationships for the remainder of our lives.
-recognizes the infant’s emotional tie to the caregiver as an evolved response that promotes survival; children construct a working model based on their attachment experiences which becomes a vital part of personality, serving as a guide for all future close relationships
Bowlby
This evolutionist perspective of early human relationships is that children who form an attachment are more likely to survive vs. those who do not.
Ainsworth
Placed human infants into novel situations; observed infants’ reactions when placed into a strange situation – their parents left them alone for a short period of time and then returned: saw that there were infants with secure attachment, avoidant attachment, and anxious/ambivalent attachment
Strange Situation
Ainsworth; infant (8mos-2 yrs) playing with mother then replaced by a stranger, while researchers watch through one-way mirror; found infants overall had stranger anxiety (cried when stranger entered) and separation anxiety (cried when mothers left); different response to return of mother: securely attached (ran and clung) vs. avoidant (ignored or avoided) vs. ambivalent; securely attached more readily explore environment
Attachment Styles
The expectations people develop about relationships with others, based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants.
Secure Attachment Style
one of the four styles of attachment; a style fostered by a caregiver who communicates with an infant in consistently loving and attentive ways and which inclines people to view themselves and others as worthy and to be comfortable both alone and in intimate relationships

-individuals characterized by this have reported positive early family relationships and trusting attitudes toward others.
-within their adult partnerships, these individuals are comfortable getting close to and depending on others
-they describe their relationships as being characterized by happiness and trust, and view themselves as friendly and likable
-least likely to experience a romantic breakup
-more likely to be married at age 52 and reported fewer marital problems

Anxious-Preoccupied Style
An attachment style characterized by dependency or “clinginess”. People with this style tend not to have a positive view of themselves, but they value and seek out intimacy
– negative self model, positive other model (aka anxious ambivalent)
-high rates of depression, eating disorders, maladaptive drinking, and substance abuse
Dismissive-Avoidant Style
Low anxiety, high avoidance: Exhibit compulsive self-reliance, prefer distance from others, and react to rejection by being quick to distance themselves even further from the source of rejection
Fearful-Avoidant Style
are high in both attachment-related anxiety and avoidance, these adults truly desire to form close and intimate bonds with others, but at the same time have a great fear of being rejected.
Stability of Attachment Styles
Can last into and past childhood; secure attached seen as appropriately independent, greatest relationship satisfaction; insecure – may be seen as helpless, secure more friends
-important early life events affect later in life attachment styles
-Brennan and Shaver found that anxious individuals were more likely to have experienced the death of a parent, abuse during childhood, or the divorce of their parents
-those classified with a specific attachment style at age 1 will generally be classified with that attachment style later on in life
-can have different attachment styles depending on the relationship
-there is room for change in a person’s attachment style even with a specific relationship
-apply most readily to modern western cultures
Attraction
in social psychology, an attitude of liking (positive attraction) or disliking (negative attraction)
Proximity
physical proximity influences whether you become friends or more
-propinquity
propinquity
the property of being close together
Studies of Proximity and Attraction
-these studies demonstrate how STRONG the relationship is
-westgate West Study
-manhattan housing project study
Westgate West
(Festinger, Schacter, and Back, 1950)
-sociometric survey
-asked who they listed as friends
MIT Married students, no pre-existing social relationships, 40%- next door neighbors, 20% 2 doors down, 10%- opposite end; very small changes in proximity changed likelihood of a relationship
-example of functional distance
-diverse population
-became friends even with different races
Functional Distance
Functional Distance: distance refers to certain aspects of architectural design that make it more likely that some people will come into contact with each other more often than with others.

Festinger demonstrated that Propinquity and Attraction rely not only on physical distance but also “functional distance.”,
-An architectural layout’s tendency to encourage or inhibit contact between people
-proximity promotes friendship because it literally brings people together

Manhattan Housing Project Study
-1/2 residents were black
-1/3 white
-rest puerto rican
-all ages
-88% designated best friend lived in the same building as respondent
-1/2 lived on the same floor
-friendships developed across age and racial groups
Proximity, Availability, and Anticipating Interaction
-proximity makes contact more likely
-people tend to give those they expect to interact with the benefit of the doubt->knowing we’re going to interact with that person->makes us like them more
-study in minnesota done that proved that
-initial positive stance toward others is likely to create a cycle in which the favorable expectations of each partner are reinforced by the positive behavior of the other
After three months of riding the 8:30 bus to work, Cindy has started to like the gruff and scowling old bus driver. The fact that Cindy likes the bus driver better the more she sees him best illustrates?
The mere exposure effect
The Mere Exposure Effect
Greater exposure to an item, & therefore greater familiarity with it, causes people to have more-positive attitudes about the item. For example, when people are presented with normal photographs of themselves and the same images reversed, they tend to prefer the reversed version because it corresponds to what people see when they look in the mirror. Their friends and family prefer the true photographs, which correspond to how they view the person.
-this effect probably helped our ancestors survive: what was familiar was more trustworthy, safe, we find fluency pleasurable
-classical conditioning-> the stimuli is paired with nothing negative so we learn to associate the stimuli with the absence of anything negative
-In the modern age, thanks to mirrors and photos, the face we are most familiar with is our own; so now we are now attracted to people that look like us
-experiment also done with rats and music
Zajonc
Mere exposure effect
–suggests that mere exposure to something will make you like it more.

Showed subjects polygons subliminally.

People then showed more polygons and asked which ones they like more.

People liked the ones they were subliminally exposed to more!

Ran different groups with opposite shapes in each condition
–proved that this wasn’t why people like certain ones.

Showed that there is a subliminal mere exposure effect.

Similarity
-people tend to like other people who are similar to themselves
-agreement on core political values is likely to have more of an impact on whether you like someone that whether you root for the same baseball team or agree on the best musical groups of the ’90’s
Studies of Similarity and Attraction
-couples who intend to marry are similar to each other on an extremely wide range of characteristics
Study:
-the similarity of engaged couples was strongest for demographic characteristics (social & religion), and physical characteristics (health and physical characteristics)
-less strong (but still present) for personality characteristics
-interracial and interethnic couples tend to be more similar to each other in terms of their personality traits than are couples of the same race and ethnicity
-people compensate for dissimilarity on one dimension by seeking out greater similarity on others
Bogus Stranger Paradigm
In the bogus stranger paradigm, a participant is led to believe that there is another individual in the study. However, the other individual does not actually exist—hence, the “bogus stranger.” In these types of studies, attitudinal similarity of the bogus stranger to the participant is experimentally manipulated to determine its effects on attraction. Attraction in these studies is typically measured by a question about how much the participant liked the stranger or how willing the participant would be to work with the stranger on a future task. These studies, then, asked whether an individual would be more likely to express a desire to work with an unknown stranger (attraction) the more similar the stranger’s attitudes were to one’s own attitudes (similarity). Supporting the cause-and-effect relation, individuals who were randomly assigned to the experimental condition in which the bogus other was presented as being similar to the individual were more attracted to the person than individuals who were randomly assigned to condition where the bogus other was presented as being dissimilar.
Complementarity
the tendency for people to seek out others with characteristics that are different from and that complement their own
-ex: dependent person profit from being with someone who is nurturing
-more restrictive
-only mades sense for those traits for which one person’s needs can be met by the other
-may only find complementarity with dependence-nurturance or introversion-extraversion
-not in honesty, optimism, conscientiousness
Why does similarity promote attraction?
-interactions with people who are similar are more rewarding and tend to increase our attraction toward them
-they tend to go smoothly
-similar->reinforce our behaviors
-they don’t make us question the important part of ourselves
-most people believe that their beliefs are the “right” ones and having someone disagree with that is unsettling
-people who are similar to us have the “right” characteristics
Physical Attractiveness
-attractive people have an advantage in winning other people’s attention and affection
-visible-> immediate
-variability in what people find attractive
-people tend to find those they like more attractive than those they don’t like
-happy couples tend to perceive each other as physically attractive even if others don’t
-attractiveness not stable-> changes over time
Impact of Physical Attractiveness
-attractive people are more popular with members of the opposite sex
-essay written by attractive author is evaluated more favorably than one attributed to an unattractive author
-studies have shown that each 1-point increase (on a 5 point scale) in physical attractiveness is worth approximately $2000 in additional salary
-men are more likely to come to the aid of an injured woman if she is good looking
-jurors give attractive defendants a break and receive lighter sentences from judges
The Halo Effects
Attribution Biases:
To assign generally positive or generally negative traits to a person after observing one specific positive or negative trait
-Physically attractive people are perceived as having more positive characteristics, such as kindness, sociability, honesty, etc. This is an example of the halo effect. The halo effect occurs when people become stereotyped based on earlier impressions and these impressions color future events. It can be positive or negative
-only consistently negative inferences about physically attractive individuals are that they are immodest and less likely to be good parents
-attractive women seen as vain and materialistic
-physically attractive: happier, less stressed, greater control over what happens to them
-people may make a greater effort with those they consider attractive
-self fulfilling prophecy: we expect them to be these things, and make it easier for them which allows them to seem to be the things we expect
Gender and the Impact of Physical Attractiveness
-attractive women->predominant in visual media
-world tends to focus on womens attractiveness than mens
-attractiveness more important in determining women’s life outcomes than men’s
-obesity-> hurts womens “image” more
-women deemed unattractive at work experience more negative outcomes than similarly unattractive men
-matters more for women than men
-beauty=power for women
-freud-> womens vanity-> survival tactic in a world that emphasizes women’s attractiveness
The Universality of Physical Attractiveness
What do people find attractive?
-ranges from person to person, culture to culture
-asians, blacks, and whites share roughly the same opinions of which asia, black, and white faces they find attractive
-infants prefer to look at faces that adults consider attractive more than at faces that adults consider unattractive
Biology and Attraction
-reproductive fitness
-exaggerated features
-average faces
-bilateral symmetry
*these exist independent of each other
Reproductive Fitness
We are attracted to those who are healthy and fit, because they show more promise in passing on their genes. Being sexually attracted to bad health makes for end to species. Steer clear of asymmetrical faces, could be sign of incest, bad genes or vulnerable immune system.
theory: evolutionary theory
critique: women also look for resources, status, commitment, etc. from men
Attraction to average faces
Hypothesis: People are attracted to average faces
Research Method:
1) Researchers created an average face by dividing each individual face into small squares
2) each square was assigned a number based on a shade of gray
3) researchers then averaged the shades of gray across the two photos to create an averaged configuration of the two individual photos and continued averaging even more individual faces with the newly created face
Results: participants found the average faces to be more attractive than the individual faces from which they had been constructed
Conclusion: Faces that are close to the average of all faces are judged more attractive
Attraction to exaggerated features
scientist made three different kinds of composite faces:
1) a face created by averaging 60 faces
2) a face created by averaging only the 15 most attractive of these faces
3) a face created by calculating the differences between the first two composites and then exaggerating these differences by 50%
-participants found the exaggerated face to be more attractive
Bilateral Symmetry
An animal body pattern in which there is one plane of symmetry dividing the body into a left side and a right side. Typically, the body is long and narrow, with a distinct head end and tail end.
-departures from symmetry result from:
-injuries to an organism in utero
-injuries caused by exposure to parasites
-infectious disease during pregnancy
**serves as a signal of an organisms ability to resist disease
Sex Differences in Mate Preferences
-men and women look for different things in each other
Investment in Offspring
-evolutionary psychologists claim evolution favors fundamentally different preferences in women and men because of the different investments each sex typically mades in offspring
-ova more “expensive” to contribute
-intrasex competition
-intersex attraction
-women ought to be more selective in their choice of mates-> men should be more indiscriminate than women
Intrasex Competition
direct competition between two or more males or two or more females for access to members of the opposite sex. In species where parental investment in greater for females, males must compete with one another for access to choosy females
Intersex Attraction
the interest in and attraction toward a member of the opposite sex
-male typically louder, gaudier member of society
What do men want?
hips: waist>>>hip ratio sign of attractiveness
broad hips: means more likely to successfully carry children; store nutrients for pregnancy and nursing
-signs of youth
-in every culture, prefer marriage partners who were younger than they were
What do women want?
Women value the ability to provide resources, Pregnancy, paternal investment, Men with the ability, status, intelligence, and skill to aquire resources…these are more attractive
-not so much attracted to youth as men tend to continue to produce sperm much later in life
Both men and women in ALL cultures rated _____ and _____ more highly than either physical attractiveness or earning potential
kindess, intelligence
Critique of Evolutionary Theorizing on Sex Differences in Attraction
-the greater the gender equality in society, the less importance women placed on earning capacity in a potential mate
-gender equality did not affect how much importance men placed on women’s attractiveness
Biology? Or Culture?
Study:
-women asked to sniff t-shirts of men who varied in bilateral symmetry
-women closer to ovulation found the t-shirts of the more symmetrical men more appealing

Women
-generally rate more feminized male faces as most attractive EXCEPT when they are ovulating and the chances of conception are highest
-near ovulation-> like masculine features more

Men
-those who interacted with a female confederate who was near the ovulatory phase of her cycle were both more likely to mimic her nonverbal behavior and more likely to take risks in a decision-making task in her presence (to make a good impression)

Studies have shown that women during the ovulatory phase of their menstrual cycle:
1) can more quickly recognize male faces as male (but not female faces as female)
2) would prefer to have a “fling” with a man with a lower, more masculine voice
3) prefer men who pursue more confident, assertive, and competitive tactics of self-presentation
Triangular Theory of Love
A theory that describes various kinds of love in terms of 3 components: passion (erotic attraction), intimacy (sharing feelings and confidences), and commitment (dedications to putting this relationsip first in one’s life)
Eli Finkel – Speed Dating Study
-after each interaction each rate their sexual desire and felt chemistry for one another
-found that when one individual feels unique desire and chemistry for another, those feelings are reciprocated
-speed daters who felt chemistry for many other people actually generated little desire or chemistry in others
-apparently people can detect whether interest is targeted or promiscuous
Once passion ebbs, what becomes more prominent?
intimacy
Intimacy
being very close and familiar, as in relationships involving private and personal sharing.
-increase-> include their partner’s perspectives, experiences, and characteristics more and more into their own self-concept-> two become one
Commitment
An intent to maintain a relationship in spite of the difficulties and costs that may arise.
-forgo: other flirtations, relationships, reproductive opportunities; commitment of resources to one another; and pragmatic demands of coordinating two sets of interest, value, friends, and career aspirations
Investment Model of interpersonal relationships
model states three things make partners more committed to each other.
1. rewards, 2. few alternative partners, 3. investments. These show commitment, prosocial behavior and trust/satisfaction.
Romantic satisfaction highly depends on level of rewards.
More committed partners enjoy more satisfying and stable bonds, use “we,” represent own identity as overlapping with their partner.
*Rewards: must outnumber negative experiences-> strongest determinants of romantic satisfaction=how much they get out of the relationship
*Alternatives: they must be committed to only one-> Fewer=more likely to stay
*Investments: how much you put into it->more likely to stay depending on the how much you’ve invested, direct and indirect
-indirect: memories, shared friends
-direct: time, effort, caring
Marital Dissatisfaction
Half of marriages end in divorce. Children of divorce suffer greater personal and academic difficulties, become anxiously attached.
Personality: neurotic people tend to be more anxious, tense, emotionally volatile, have less happy romances and more likely to divorce.
-sensitive to rejection: greater difficulty with intimate relationships, greater hostility
Low SES: financial burdens decrease rewards in couple’s life (critical to investment model)
Age: those who marry young more likely to end in divorce.
Early divorcers experience contempt, anger, while late divorcers experience absence of humor and interest.
Marital Dissatisfaction- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
– Negative behavior affects satisfaction
* criticism (attack personality or values)
* contempt (insulting partner’s sense of self)
* defensiveness
* stonewalling (silent treatment)
– Stress
* bad communication skills
Gottman and Levenson’s studies
Hypothesis: Contempt and feelings of superiority harm intimate relationships
Research Method:
1) researchers coded facial expressions of contempt from a 15-minute conversation between married partners
2) they then related the number of contempt expressions to the likelihood that the couple would eventually divorce or stay together
Results: Married partners who expressed more contempt were more likely to be divorced 14 years later than married partners who expressed less contempt
Conclusion: contempt and derisive feelings towards your romantic partner are toxic for the relationship
Dangerous Attributions
We expect certain construal tendencies to be problematic in maintaining romantic bonds. Blame is associated with dissatisfaction and dissolution. Dissatisfied, distressed couples make attributions that cast their partner and their relationship in a negative light. Distressed couples attribute rewarding, positive events in their relationships to unstable causes that are specific, unintended, and selfish.
Creating Stronger Romantic Bonds
-Capitalize on the good: Share what is good in your life with your partner, spread the good news. There are 4 ways you can capitalize on the good. 1) Active constructive responses are evident when one partner responds to the good news of the pother partner with engaged enthusiasm. 2) Passive constructive responses are still supportive but not actively so; they are quieter, less engages, and less vocal. 3) Active destructive responses involve direct criticisms or undermining of the positive event. 4)Passive destructive responses are defined by a disinterest or nonchalance.

-Be playful: Engage in playful, novel, and exhilarating activities throughout the relationship.

-Care and forgive: Care, cultivate compassionate love for your partner. Forgiveness involves a shift in feeling toward someone who has done you harm, away from ideas about revenge and avoidance toward a more positive understanding to the humanity of the person who engaged in the harmful act.

Love and Marriage in Other Cultures
some north american ideas of love and marriage do not apply to the rest of the world
-The more typical pattern is a marriage arranged by the parents versus a marriage with romantic love. Most of South, East, Southeast Asian and Africa participate in arranged marriages.
arranged marriage
social control suppresses the divorce rate (family honor), [finding a mate in another family] marriages in which a boy and girl may not see each other (earlier days), partners are selected by the couples’s parents
-seen as “transactions”
-feelings of love, romance, affection follow marriage, rather than precede
-can experience mismatches
-lack of expectation that there should be romantic love also makes it less likely that the gradual transformation from romantic to companionate love will be a source of disappointment
Main Features of the Learning Theory Explanation of Attachment
Classical Conditioning
Operant Conditioning
Learning Theory – Classical Conditioning
Stimulus of food (unconditioned Stimulus) produces a response of pleasure (unconditioned response).
The person providing the food becomes associated with this pleasure and becomes a conditioned stimulus.
The food giver becomes a source of pleasure, whether or not food is supplied.
Learning Theory – Operant Conditioning
When a baby is hungry is feels uncomfortable and experiences a drive state which motivates the baby to find some way to lessen the discomfort.
Being fed satisfies the infants hunger, making it feel comfortable again, resulting in a drive reduction.
This is rewarding so the child learns the food is a reward or primary enforcer. The person who supplies the food becomes a secondary enforcer. The infant seeks to be with this person because they are a source of reward.
Evaluation of Learning Theory
•Schaffer and Emerson (1964) found that fewer than half of the infants had a primary attachment to the person who usually fed them.
•Harlow and Harlow found that contact comfort was the main source of reinforcement and not food.
•Learning theory is reductionist – too simple to explain attachment behaviour.
Main Features of the Evolutionary Explanation of Attachment
•Infants and carers are programmed to become attached.
•Attachment is a biological process – it takes place in a critical period or not at all.
•Attachment plays a role in later development (continuity hypothesis)
Evolutionary Principle – Innate Programming
All psychological and physical characteristics are naturally selected. A characteristic is selected because it helps those individuals who possess that characteristic to survive and reproduce.
Infants are born ‘programmed’ to become attachment and adults are ‘programmed’ to form this kind of relationships with their infants.
Social releasers – social behaviours that elicit a caregiving reaction from another e.g. smiling, crying. They are necessary to ensure an interaction takes place.
Evolutionary Principle – Critical Period
Bowlby suggested that if a child does not form an attachment before the age of 2.5 years, then it wouldn’t be possible thereafter.

Critical period is a feature of biological characteristic – if development doesn’t take place in a set critical time then it might not take place at all.

Evoulutionary Princple – Continuity Hypothesis
The relationship with one special attachment figure (monotrophy) provides an infant with an internal working model of relationships.

Provides an explanative of the fact that early patterns of development are related to later child characteristics.

Evaluation of the Evolutionary Hypothesis
Strengths:
•Is the major theory of attachment
•Generates a great deal of research
•Has a huge impact on emotional care of young children.

Limitations:
•Doesn’t explain why some children are able to cope with poor attachment experiences while others suffer long-term consequences.

Supportive Evidence for the Continuity Hypothesis
Sroufe et al. (1999) followed children from 12 months to adolescence. Rated by teachers and trained observers. Children who were rated as being securely attached –> more popular, higher self-esteem and confident, have more innovative. SUPPORT

Hazan and Shaver (1987) ‘love quiz’ in a mag. To collect info on people’s early attachments and their current romantic attitudes. Found that: People securely attached as infants – have happier and lasting love relationships and believe love is enduring and about mutual trust.
People insecurely attached as infants – more likely to be divorced and felt true love was rare.

Critical or Sensitive Period?
Studies of infants abandoned or orphaned and raised in institutions in Eastern Europe prior to adoption by families in the US or UK have shown adoptees were able to form attachment relationships after the first year of life and also made developmental progress after adoption.
Later these children were adopted the slower their progress.
Aim of Ainsworth and Bell (1970)
To produce a method for assessing quality of attachment by placing an infant in a situation of mild stress and of novelty.
Procedure of Ainsworth and Bell (1970)
•100 middle class American infants and mothers. Method of controlled observation. Observing infants with their mothers in a set of predetermined activities (strange situations)
1.Mother and child introduced to room
2.Mother and child left alone and child can investigate toys
3.Stranger enters room and talks with mother. Gradually approaches infant with toy.
4.Mother leaves child alone with stranger and stranger interacts with child.
5.Mother returns to greet and comfort child
6.Child is left alone
7.Stranger returns and tries to interact with child
8.Mother returns, greets and picks up child. Stranger leaves.
•Observers looked at the following:
-Separation anxiety, Infants willingness to explore, Stranger anxiety, Reunion behaviour
Findings of Ainsworth and Bell (1970)
•Securely attached – explored the unfamiliar room, subdued when mother left, greeted her positively when she returned. Mothers were described as being sensitive.
•Avoidant-insecure infants – didn’t orientate to mother when investigating room, did not seem concerned by her absence, show little interest in her when she returned. Mothers described as sometimes ignoring their infants.
•Resistant-insecure infants – shows intense distress when mother was absent, rejected her when she returned. Mothers appeared to behave ambivalently towards infant.
Conclusions of Ainsworth and Bell (1970)
•Study shows significant differences between infants and these can be represented using 3 broad categories.
•Most of the children were securely attached.
•Association between mothers behaviour and infants attachment type.
Evaluation of Ainsworth and Bell (1970)
Strengths/Evidence For:
Enables us to assess whether or not children are securely attached, and how this attachment relates to specific behaviours.
Studies have found SSC technique to be reliable as it is usually the same at different ages.

Limitations/Evidence Against:
Study only on middle-class Americans, can’t be generalised.
•Main and Cassidy (1988) found another classification group, Disorganised.

Caregiver Sensitivity Hypothesis
Ainsworth and Bell (1979) supposed that secure attachment were the result of mothers being sensitive to their children’s needs. This explains why some children re securely attached and others are not.
Temperament Hypothesis
Some infants may form secure attachments because they are born with a tendency to be friendlier.
Aim of Takahashi (1990)
To consider whether it is appropriate to the Strange Situation procedure with Japanese children. So, is the Strange Situation technique appropriate for other cultures other than the original one?
Procedure of Takahashi (1990)
•60 middle-class, Japanese infants. Aged 1 year, and their mothers, all raised at home.
•Infants and mothers were observed in Strange Situation.
Findings of Takahashi (1990)
•68% of infants were securely attached, almost the same as in Americans.
•No infants classified as avoidant-insecure.
•32% resistant secure.
•Japanese infants much more distressed when left alone. Alone stage had to be stopped for 90% of participants because they were so distressed.
Conclusions of Takahashi (1990)
•There are cross-cultural variations in the way infants responded to being left alone. Possibly because Japanese infants are hardly ever left along (sleep in parents bed until 2).
•Total lack of avoidant behaviour, another cross-cultural variation. Japanese children are taught that such behaviour is impolite.
•Strange Situation does not have the same meaning for the Japanese culture as it does for American participants and is not, therefore, a valid assessment for that culture.
Evaluation of Takahashi (1990)
•Needs to be especially careful of potential psychological harm (ethical issue)
•Limited sample, only middle-class, home reared infants. Might not be appropriate to generalise results to whole Japanese population.
Monotophy Support
Bowlby (1969) claimed infants need one special attachment relationship which is different from all others in order to develop an internal working model and emotional maturity. He described this as Monotrophy (being raised by one person)
Schaffer and Emerson (1964) found that although infants tend to have multiple attachments, they appear usually to have one primary attachment.
Multiple Attachments Support
Thomas (1998) said it might be more desirable to have a network of attachments to sustain the needs of a growing infant who had a variety of demands for social and emotional interactions.
Bowlby’s Maternal Deprivation Hypothesis
If an infant was unable to develop a warm, intimate and continuous relationships with his mother) or permanent mother-substitute) then the child would have difficulty forming relationships with other people and be at risk of behavioural disorders.
Key Features of Bowlby’s Maternal Deprivation Hypothesis
•Hypothesis focuses on the importance of a continuous relationship between a mother and child-substitute. Relationships which aren’t continuous become unpredictable and unstable, disrupting the development of the relationship.
•Development of this relationship must occur during critical period – before age of 2.5
•Bowlby didn’t suggest relationship had to be with mother.
Aim of Bowlby (1944) Effects of Deprivation
To test the maternal deprivation hypothesis
Procedure of Bowlby (1944) Effects of Deprivation
•88 children, ranging from 5-16, who had been referred to child guidance clinic where Bowlby worked.
•44 of the children had been referred to clinic because of stealing – Bowlby identified 16 of these thieves as ‘ affection less psychopaths’
•Remaining 44 children had not committed any crimes. They were emotionally maladjusted but didn’t show any anti-social behaviour.
•Bowlby interviewed children and families – created a record of their early life
Findings of Bowlby (1944) Effects of Deprivation
•86% of ‘affectionless psychopaths’ had experienced early separation from their mothers.
•Only 17 % of the other thieves who weren’t described as affectionless psychopaths had experienced such separation experiences.
•Only 4% of the control group had experiences early separations.
Conclusions of Bowlby (1944) Effects of Deprivation
•Findings suggest a link between early separations and later social and emotional maladjustment.
•In most severe form, maternal separation, leads to affection less psychopathy and in its less severe form it leads to antisocial behaviour.
•These findings support the Maternal Deprivation Hypothesis
Evaluations of Bowlby (1944) Effects of Deprivation
•Evidence is correlation, shows a link but can’t say deprivation/separation causes affectionless psychopathy.
•Data on separation was collected retrospectively – may not be reliable.
Critisms of Bowlby’s Deprivation Hypothesis
•Much of evidence to support the hypothesis came from studies of children in institutions where they were deprived in many ways. May not be maternal deprivation but other forms of deprivation.
•Not all research shows that deprivation leads to maladjustment. Bowlby et al (1956)
•Michael Rutter claimed that:
-Bowlby confused ’cause and effect’ with an ‘association’. The fact they early separation and maladjustment are linked does not means that one caused the other.
-Bowlby didn’t distinguish between different kinds of deprivation.
Strengths of Bowlby’s Deprivation Hypothesis
•Impacted on how children are treated e.g. treatment of children in hospitals.
Three main types of evidence regarding privation
•Longitudinal studies of children in institutional care
•Case studies of children raised in extreme isolation
•Studies of reactive attachment disorder, a category of mental disorder linked to a lack of early attachments.
Aim of Hodges and Tizzard (1989)
To investigated effects of early privation on subsequent social and emotional development and to test the maternal deprivation hypothesis.
Procedure of Hodges and Tizzard (1989)
•Natural experiment (naturally occurring differences in the independent variable)
•65 children who had been placed in an institution when they were less than 4 months old. The institutions had a policy that caregivers couldn’t form attachments – this would suggest early privation.
•By age of 4; 24 had been adopted, 15 had returned to natural homes and the rest remained in the institution.
•Assessment at 8 and 16 involved interviewing children who were adopted and who had returned to natural homes. Parents, teachers, peers also interviewed. Data also collected form a control group of ‘normal’ peers.
Findings of Hodges and Tizzard (1989)
•Adopted children had close attachments to their parents and good family relationships whereas ‘restored’ children didn’t.
•Both groups were more likely to seek adult attention and and approval than control group. Both groups were less successful in peer relations.
Conclusions of Hodges and Tizzard (1989)
•Some evidence doesn’t support maternal deprivation hypothesis – recovery was possible in the right circumstances. E.g. restored children went back into the same difficult circumstances where as adopted children went to homes were parents very much wanted a child.
•Some evidence does support the maternal deprivation hypothesis. Outside the family environment it would appear that early privation did have an effect on subsequent social development. E.g. finding it difficult to make peer relations.
Evaluations of Hodges and Tizzard (1989)
•Adopted children were more likely to be those with a good temperament, more attractive and socially able. This is a confounding variable in the study. Cannot infer a causal relationship from this study.
•Some people may have dropped out over the years – likely to be those who were less socially able, creating a bias sample possibly.
Case Studies of Children Raised in Extreme Isolation – Czech Twins
•Went to a children’s home for 11 months, then spent 6 months with aunt and next went to stay with father (of low intelligence) and stepmother (cruel).
•Never allowed out of house and were kept in a small, unheated closet.
•Discovered at 7 – they could hardly walk, had acute rickets, fearful and speech was very poor.
•Placed in a foster home and are now adults and appear well adjusted and cognitively able.
Case Studies of Children Raised in Extreme Isolation – Genie
•Had experiences isolation, neglect and physical restraint.
•Father punished her if she made any sound.
•Discovered at 13 – couldn’t walk, was unsocialised, had appearance of a 7 year old.
•Never achieved good social adjustment or language despite being placed in a foster family.
Different Types of Day Care
Day Nurseries
Childminders
Effects of Day Care on Social Development
May be good for insecurely attached – as they needed compensatory care
Not good for securely attached – separation from good quality care was detrimental
Overall good though e.g. Scope Perry Pre-School Project
Scope Perry Pre-School Project
Provided high quality pre-school education to 3/4 year old African children living in poverty. Children were less likely to be involved in crime, live on welfare and had lower delinquency rates compared to control group.
Effects of Day Care on Aggression
EPPE Project study showed increased risk of aggression.
Sammons 2003 – slight risk of increased antisocial behaviour when children spend 20+ hours a week, and increased risk at 40+.
Melhuish 2004 – increased aggression in children whose carers were constantly changing.
Effects of Day Care on Peer Relations
EPPE Project (positive effects) – improved independence, cooperation, conformity and sociability with other children.
attachment
an emotional bond with a specific person that is enduring across space and time
What research did Harry Harlow do?
research with monkeys observing contact comfort-he saw that the cloth mother provided comfort and security, but not food
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
children are biologically predisposed to develop attachments
Why does John Bowlby believe children are biologically predisposed to develop attachments?
protection from predation via proximity seeking behaviors
Secure base
??
What are the four phases of attachment according to John Bowlby?
1) preattachment phase
2) attachment-in-the-making
3) clear-cut attachment
4) reciprocal relationship
Preattachment phase
birth-6 weeks

innate signals (e.g., crying)

Attachment-in-the-making
6 weeks to 6-8 months

respond preferentially to familiar people

Clear-cut attachment
between 6-8 months and 1.5-2 years

actively seek contact with regular caregivers, separation anxiety develops, mother as a secure base

Reciprocal relationships
from 1.5 to 2 years, onward

mutually regulated relationship

What is the internal working model of attachment?
child develops a mental representation of the self, of the attachment figures, and of relationships in general
Ainsworth
developed “The Strange Situation” to assess infants’ attachment to their primary caregivers
In what two ways are infants categorized using Ainsworth’s “The Strange Situation” method?
1) extent to which infant is able to use primary caregiver as secure base
2) how infant reacts to brief separations from and reunions with caregivers
What are the four categories of measurements of attachment security in infancy?
1) secure attachment
2) insecure/resistant (or ambivalent) attachment
3) insecure/avoidant attachment
4) disorganized/disoriented attachment
Secure attachment
high-quality, relatively unambivalent relationship with his or her attachment figure
How do infants with “secure attachment” react?
upset when the caregiver leaves but happy to see the caregiver return
What is the behavior of the caregiver of an infant with secure attachment?
contingently responsive parenting, high parental investment
For infants with secure attachment, what is the caregiver used as?
a secure base
Insecure/resistant (or ambivalent) attachment
clingy and stay close to their caregiver rather than explore the environment
How do infants with “insecure/resistant (ambivalent) attachment” react during “The Strange Situation”?
when the caregiver leaves them alone in the room they are very upset and not readily comforted by strangers

when the caregiver returns, the infant is not easily comforted and both seek comfort and resist efforts by the caregiver to comfort them

What is the behavior of the caregiver of an infant with insecure/resistant (ambivalent) attachment?
inconsistent
Insecure/avoidant attachment
indifferent toward their caregiver and may even avoid the caregiver
How do infants with insecure/avoidant attachment react in “The Strange Situation”?
they are indifferent toward their caregiver before the caregiver leaves the room and indifferent/avoidant when the caregiver returns

if they are upset when they are left alone, they are as easily comforted by as stranger as by the caregiver

What is the behavior of the caregiver of an infant with insecure/avoidant attachment?
rejecting, low parental investment
Disorganized/disoriented attachment
no consistent way of coping with the stress of “The Strange Situation”; behavior is often confused or even contradictory, and they often appear dazed or disoriented
Regarding infants behavior in “The Strange Situation”, is there cultural variation?
some cultural difference but more commonly similar across numerous cultures including China, Western Europe, and various parts of Africa
How do types of insecure attachment in the US and Japan differ?
all insecurely attached Japanese infants are classified as insecure/ambivalent, which may reflect the emphasis on interdependence
What are two long term effects of secure attachment?
1) positive peer and romantic relationships and emotional health in adolescence
2) earn higher grades and are more involved in school than insecurely attached children
The Self
a conceptual system made up of one’s thoughts and attitudes about oneself
What types of thoughts are included in “the self” (3)?
thoughts about..
1) one’s own physical being
2) social roles and relationships
3) “spiritual” or internal characteristics
When does sense of self develop?
sense of self emerges in the early years of life and continue to develop into adulthood
How do adults contribute to the child’s self-image?
by providing descriptive information about the child
What is the sense of self in infancy?
infants have a rudimentary sense of self in the first months of life, as evidence by their control of objects of themselves
Regarding infants sense of self, what happens by age 18-20 months?
pass rouge test (indicating mirror self-recognition)
Regarding infants sense of self, what happens by age 30 months?
recognizing their own photograph
Regarding sense of self in childhood, what is achieved by ages 3-4?
children understand themselves in terms of concrete, observable characteristics related to physical attributes, physical activities and abilities, and psychological traits
When do children begin to refine their conceptions of self and why?
in elementary school, in part because they increasingly engage in social comparison
Social comparison
the process of comparing aspects of one’s own psychological, behavioral, or physical functioning to that of others in order to evaluate oneself
What is attachment?
A strong emotional and reciprocal bond between two people. Attachment will lead to distress during separation.
What is the Learning Theory of Attachment?
States that we become attached because we have learned to associate the food-giver with a pleasurable outcome.
What is classical conditioning?
An unconditioned stimulus (food) caused an unconditioned response (happiness). When we experience the unconditioned stimulus at the same time as a neutral stimulus (mother), the response becomes attached to both stimuli. After we have learned respond to the new stimulus, it is called a conditioned stimulus (mother) because we have been conditioned to respond in a certain way. We have little control over than conditioned response.
What is operant conditioning?
Babies may become attached to their mothers by the process of operant conditioning. There is where we learn by the consequences of our behaviour. If the behaviour has a pleasant consequence, it will be repeated.

Babies become attached to their mother because she provides food, which is a reinforcer. The baby learns that food is a reward or primary reinforcer. The person who supplies food (mother) is associated with the food and becomes a secondary reinforcer (a means to obtain the primary reinforcer). The mother is only loved because she provides food. Can also be the father or any other carer associated with food. Carer could alsobe reinforcing by providing comfort, for example if the baby is crying. The carer would take away something unpleasant. This is negative reinforcement.

Aim of Harlows study of Rhesus monkeys:
To see whether attachment is based on supply of food.
Method of Harlows study of Rhesus monkeys:
Rhesus monkeys were placed in a large cage. Each contained two wire mesh cylinders with a face of an adult monkey. One cylinder was bare and provided the monkey with milk. The other was covered in toweling for comfort.
Findings of Harlows study of Rhesus monkeys
The monkeys spent most of their time on the towel covered teat and would also run there when frightened. However, in later life, the monkeys had trouble mating and parenting with other monkeys. The towel covered mother did not provide sufficient love to enable a healthy development.
Conc of Harlows study of Rhesus monkeys:
Shows that contact is preferable to food but is not sufficient enough for a healthy development.
Evaluation of Harlows study of Rhesus monkeys:
Ethical issues – the monkeys had trouble in later life.
Cannot be generalised to humans.
Lab study however, extraneous variables controlled.
What did Schaffer and Emerson find on learning theory?
Found that fewer than half of the infants they studied had a primary attachment to the person who usually fed, bathed and changed them. This partially supports the theory as SOME did have an attachment to the food giver. However, the learning theory states that we become attached because with are provided with food, but less than half were attached to the primary food giver.
What does Bowlby’s Theory of Attachment suggest?
Proposed that attachment develops to enhance survival and therefore has a link to Darwins theory and an Evolutionary basis to attachment. Attachment results in a desire to stay close to the primary attachment figure, ensuring safety. Seperation also causes anxiety, leading the caregiver and infant to stay close. Infants are innately programmed to become attached, as it is useful behaviour for survival. Attachment provides a safe place for exploration, which is needed for cognitive development. He also suggested that this bond is strongest within a critical period, or it will be extremely difficult to do so afterwards.
What did Lorenz find?
Lorenz studied imprinting in geese to support the evolutionary basis and the critical period. He seperated Gosling eggs into two groups. One group was left with the natural mother and one in an incubator. When the group in the incubator hatched, the first thing they saw was Lorenz. They followed him around. Lorenz marked two groups and placed them with the mother. The goslings divided up, one group following Lorenz and the other the mother. This showed that they had imprinted and formed an attachment to Lorenz. Concluded that a young animal that follows it’s mother is more likely to be safe from predators, be fed and find food – Linking to evolutionary basis.
Evidence for imprinting in humans:
Trevarthan found high levels of certain hormones in both mothers and babies during and immediately after delivery. If a bond is not formed during this hormonal surge, it is not easy to form a bond later.
What is the critical period?
0-2 years. The attachment between infant and caregiver is strongest when formed within this period. If attachment does not happen within this period, it will never happen.
What did Rutter et al find to contradict the critical period?
Found that attachments can be formed at a later age than Bowlby stated. Children who were adopted managed to form attachments with their caregiver after 2 years. However, they are not as developed as their peers.
What is the sensitive period?
Where children find it easier to form an attachment.
What is a social releaser?
Behaviours which bring out emotional interactions. For example, a baby crying results in the mother picking it up for comfort.
What is monotropy?
The idea that infants should only have one special attachment rather than several. The child may have a hierarchy of relationships, but the relationship with the primary care giver will be different from the others.
What does the continuity hypothesis state?
That attachment patterns in childhood are related to later characteristics in adults. The formation of attachment allows he infant to learn how to form healthy adult relationships. Our experiences of the caregiver creates an internal blueprint of how good relationships operate. This is used as a template for future relationships and is our Internal Working Model. Secure children who have a sensitive and emotionally giving caregiver will have a positive view of themselves and have successful adult relationships. Resistant children who had an inconsistent caregiver will have a negative self image and exaggerate emotional responses for attention. Insecure avoidant ill develop a working model which sees themselves as unacceptable and unworthy.
How does Harlow support the continuity hypothesis?
Separated infant monkeys from their mothers and raised them in isolation cages. Later in life the monkeys were abusive and had difficulty mating and parenting.
Aim of Hazen and Shaver:
To investigate possible links between the kind of mothering experienced as a child and experience of adult romantic love.
Method of Hazen and Shaver:
Used Ainsworths three infant attachment types to compare three corresponding types of adult attachment. ‘The Love Quiz’ was then published and the readers of a newspaper were asked to pick a description of relationship which applied to them. They also completed an adjective checklist to see what parenting they had received. 620 replies were analysed.
Findings of Hazen and Shaver:
A significant correlation between attachment type and the description of adult relationship were found.
Conc of Hazen and Shaver:
There is a strong link between early attachment experience and the nature of the relationship formed as a child.
Evaluation of Hazen and Shaver:
Questionnaires – social desirability bias.
Retrospective data – remembering things from childhood.
Voluntary sample – only a certain type of people may apply.
Key words may have different meaning to different people.
How can Schaffer and Emerson be used to criticise Learning Theory of Attachment?
The learning theory of attachment states that we become attached because the care giver provides food. However this study found that in 39% of cases the person who usually fed, bathed and changed the baby was not the child’s primary attachment figure. The study shows that an attachment will form even if food is not provided, contradicting the learning theory.
How can Schaffer and Emerson be used to criticise Bowlby’s Theory of Attachment?
Bowlby’s theory suggests that infants can only form one special attachment, called monotropy. However, Scaffer and Emerson found that by 18 months, only 13% of infants were attached to only one person. This shows that most infants have more than one attachment, contradicting Bowlby.
Aim of Schaffer and Emerson:
A large scale study to find out more information about the development of attachment.
Method of Schaffer and Emerson:
Over a period of 2 years. They followed 60 infants from a working class area in Glasgow. They kept record of their observations. Infants observed every four weeks until they were one and then again at 18 months. Attachment was measured in two ways. Using separation protest in seven everyday situations and using stranger anxiety. Every visit started with the researcher approaching the infant and noting at what point they started to whimper, displaying anxiety. These both show that attachment had been formed.
Findings of Schaffer and Emerson:
Multiple attachment: soon after one main attachment was formed, the infants also became attached to other people. By 18 months very few (13%) were attached to only one person, 31 % had five or more attachments, such as the father or older sibling. In 65% of the children the first specific attachment was to the mother, and in a further 30% the mother was the first joint object of attachment.

Time spent with infant: in 39% of the cases the person who usually fed, bathed, and changed the child was not the child’s primary attachment object. In other words, many of the mothers were not the person who performed these tasks yet they were the main attachment object.

Evaluation for Schaffer and Emerson:
Location and class = not generalisable.
Only sixty infants – not representative.
Observer bias.
Hadn’t standardised ages. The youngest was five weeks and the oldest 23 weeks.
Other evidence contradicting Bowlby:
Does not explain why some children are able to cope with poor attachment experiences. These are individual differences.
Evolutionary explanations are post-hoc, an assumption rather than proven fact.
What is the strange situation?
Was developed to measure attachment types. The procedure is lab experiment which uses controlled observations to measure exploration behaviour of the child, seperation anxiety, stranger anxiety, reunion behaviour and mothers behaviour. The procedure has eight three minute stages. There are three attachment types identified, securely attached, avoidant insecure and resistant insecure. Their behaviour is like so…
What behaviour was measured in the SSP?
Exploration behaviour.
Seperation anxiety
Stranger anxiety
Reunion behaviour
Mothers behaviour
What were the stages of the SSP?
Aim of Ainsworths SSP:
Method of Ainsworths SSP:
Results of Ainsworths SSP:
Conc of Ainsworths SSP:
Evaluation of Ainsworths SSP:
Reliability of SSP:
Validity of SSP:
Predictive Validity of SSP:
What influences the development of secure and insecure attachments?
The Sensitivity Hypothesis:
The Temperament Hypothesis:
What is the difference between an individualist and collectivist culture?
Aim and procedure of Van Ijzendoorn:
Results of Van Ijzendoorn:
Conclusion of Van Ijzendoorn:
Results of cross-cutural investigations into the attachment patterns of infants:
Takahashi aim and method:
Takahashi results:
Takahashi Conc:
Evaluation of Takahashi:
What is deprivation, why may it occur and how long is short-term deprivation?
What is Bowlby’s maternal deprivation hypothesis?
What are the main three areas of Bowlby’s maternal deprivation hypothesis?
Aim of Bowlby’s 44 Thieves study:
Method of Bowlby’s 44 Thieves study:
Results of Bowlby’s 44 Thieves study:
Conclusion of Bowlby’s 44 Thieves study:
Evaluation of Bowlby’s 44 Thieves study:
James and Joyce Robertson’s observational study of John:
What is the syndrome of distress?
Robersons study of Thomas:
Evaluation of Robertson cases:
Factors affecting deprivation:
Good quality of daycare includes:
How would you measure a child’s behaviour in daycare?
Aim and Conc of Melhuish: What makes good daycare?
Method of Melhuish: What makes good daycare?
Results of Melhuish: What makes good daycare?
Evaluation of Melhuish: What makes good daycare?
Study for daycare and aggression:
Study for daycare and peer relations:
Genie:
Genie was discovered by the authorities at the age of 13, having been kept in isolation for most of her life, and treated cruelly by her parents. She had been tied to a ‘potty chair’ for much of the time, could only eat baby food, and her development was severely retarded. She walked awkwardly, had no language, and made very little sound, having been beaten for making a noise. After spending about a year in hospital, Genie went to live with her therapist, David Rigler, and his family. He was also in charge of the scientific research project that had funding to study whether Genie was able to develop language, or whether she had passed the critical period for language development. She lived with them for four years, and experienced an intensive care programme. Genie made good progress during her time with the Riglers. She learned to say and recognise a lot of words, and though she never got to grips with grammar, she communicated well. According to Curtiss she made around a year’s progress for every year after she had been found. Another area of concern was Genie’s ability to form attachments. She did seem to become attached to the family who looked after her, and became more sociable. However, after four years with the Riglers, the research funding was cut. Genie still displayed a lot of difficult behaviour, such as tantrums, and looking after her had been a real strain on the family, so the Riglers gave up looking after her, and Genie returned to her mother. Genie was too difficult for her mother to take care of, and she was placed in a series of care homes and foster homes, where she was sometimes treated very badly, and she regressed.
Genie evaluation:
This study shows that extreme privation has serious and lasting effects, on both emotional development (attachment)and cognitive development (language), but that these effects can be reversed to some extent with high quality care.

It is not clear whether Genie suffered from some kind of learning difficulties from birth. Dr Jake Shurley found that Genie had abnormal sleep spindles, which suggested she had been brain damaged; however, Curtiss argued that as Genie had made such good progress she must have been ‘normal’.
Case studies such as these can give only limited information, and may not be generalisable to the whole human population; Genie may be special, and there are lots of things we can’t know about her early experience.
There are many ethical issues arising from this study: Rigler’s triple role as therapist, scientist and foster parent made it difficult for his to be fair to Genie – her welfare should have been paramount; however, the programme did offer her a good chance of improvement.

What is privation?
Czech Twins:
Czech Twins evaluation:
Aim of Tizard and Hodges:
To investigate the effects of early institutional care on children’s development.
Method of Tizard and Hodges:
Longitudinal study lasting 16 years
Various measures: interviews with participants, parents, teachers; social difficulties questionnaire.
All Ps had been in institutional care until they were at least 2 yrs old.
Control group (who had never been in care) were matched on several factors (eg sex, position in family, occupation of breadwinner)
Children were also compared with a same-sex school friend.
There was also a comparison between the institutional children who had been restored to their natural families and those who had been adopted.
Results of Tizard and Hodges:
All the children had received good physical care in the institutions, and had made a large number of very superficial attachments.
At age 4 most had formed attachments with new parents, but a third were attention seekers.
At 8 the ex-institutional children had reasonable language and cognitive skills for their age; their parents claimed they had no problems, but according to teachers they were more attention-seeking, quarrelsome, and less popular than comparison group children.
At age 16 adopted children had closer attachment to parent than restored children; adopted children still described by teachers as more quarrelsome and less popular than their peers; ex-institutional children had more problems with siblings than control groups, and less likely to have special friends.
Adoptive parents were highly motivated to be successful parents; parents of ‘restored’ children were often ambivalent.
Conc of Tizard and Hodges:
Children can make attachments later than the ‘critical period’ if deprived in the first two years of life; we should think of it as a ‘sensitive period’.
However, children do have some developmental problems when compared to children who never experienced institutional care
Stranger Anxiety
the fear of strangers that infants commonly display, beginning by about 8 months of age. (Myers Psychology 8e p. 155)
Harry Harlow
1905-1981; Field: development; Contributions: realized that touch is preferred in development; Studies: Rhesus monkeys, studied attachment of infant monkeys (wire mothers v. cloth mothers)
Mary Ainsworth
developmental psychology; compared effects of maternal separation, devised patterns of attachment; “The Strange Situation”: observation of parent/child attachment
Strange Situation
Ainsworth’s method for assessing infant attachment to the mother, based on a series of brief separations and reunions with the mother in a playoom situation
Attachment
an emotional tie with another person; shown in young children by their seeking closeness to the caregiver and showing distress on separation
Secure Attachment
Infants use the mother as a home base from which to explore when all is well, but seek physical comfort and consolation from her if frightened or threatened
Insecure / Avoidant Attachment
Characterized complete dependence on a caregiver and extreme reluctance to explore one’s environment; the result of unresponsive parenting.
Critical Period
An optimal period shortly after birth when an organism’s exposure to certain stimuli or experiences produces proper development.
Feral Children
children assumed to have been raised by animals, in the wilderness, isolated from other humans
Basic Trust
according to Erik Erikson, a sense that the world is predictable and trustworthy; said to be formed during infancy by appropriate experiences with responsive caregivers.
Self Concept
(1) a sense of one’s identity and personal worth. (2) all our thoughts and feelings about ourselves, in answer to the question “Who am I?”
Imprinting
The process by which certain animals form attachments during a critical period very early in life.
Konrad Lorenz
Austrian zoologist who studied the behavior of birds and emphasized the importance of innate as opposed to learned behaviors (1903-1989)
Authoritarian Parenting
A parenting style in which the parents are demanding, expect unquestioned obedience, are not responsive to their children’s desires, and communicate poorly with their children.
Permissive Parenting
an approach to child rearing that is characterized by high nurturance and communication but little discipline, guidance, or control
Authoritative Parenting
parenting style characterized by emotional warmth, high standards for behavior, explanation and consistent enforcement of rules, and inclusion of children in decision making
Diana Baumrind
researcher who developed a model of parenting styles that included authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive
Adolescence
the transition period from childhood to adulthood, extending from puberty to independence
Puberty
period of rapid growth and sexual maturation during which the reproductive system becomes fully functional
Primary Sex Characteristics
the body structures (ovaries, testes, and external genitalia) that make sexual reproduction possible
Secondary Sex Characteristics
nonreproductive sexual characteristics, such as female breasts and hips, male voice quality, and body hair
Menarche
Beginning of menstrual function
Personal Fable
type of thought common to adolescents in which young people believe themselves to be unique and protected from harm
James Marcia
worked on adolescent psychological development identity crisis; developed the identity status interview, proposed in 4 stages of identity statuses
Identity Diffusion
the status of adolescents who consider various identity alternatives, but do not commit to one or even consider options
Identity Foreclosure
Marcia’s stage in which adolescents accept the identity and values given to them in childhood. They are not searching.
Identity Moratorium
Marcia’s stage in which adolescents are delaying making the commitment expected of adult through trial and error experiment with different identities. They are looking actively but have not found it yet
Identity Achievement
Erikson’s term for the attainment of identity, or the point at which a person understands who he or she is as an individual, in accord with past experiences and future plans
Lawrence Kohlberg
moral development; presented boys moral dilemmas and studied their responses and reasoning processes in making moral decisions. Most famous moral dilemma is “Heinz” who has an ill wife and cannot afford the medication. Should he steal the medication and why?
Carol Gilligan
1936-pres; Field: cognition; Contributions: maintained that Köhlberg’s work was developed by only observing boys and overlooked potential differences between the habitual moral judgments of boys and girls; girls focus more on relationships than laws and principles
Preconventional Morality
first level of Kohlberg’s stages of moral development in which the child’s behavior is governed by the consequences of the behavior
Conventional Morality
second level of Kohlberg’s stages of moral development in which the child’s behavior is governed by conforming to the society’s norms of behavior
Postconventional Morality
Third stage of Kohlberg’s theory. Some of those who develop the abstract reasoning formal operational thought may come to this. It affirms people’s agreed-upon rights or following what one personally perceives as basic ethical principles.
Erik Erikson
neo-Freudian, humanistic; 8 psychosocial stages of development: theory shows how people evolve through the life span. Each stage is marked by a psychological crisis that involves confronting “Who am I?”
Identity
one’s sense of self; according to Erikson, the adolescent’s task is to solidify a sense of self by testing and integrating various roles
Autonomy
independence; self-determination
Initiative
the taking of the first step or move; the ability to act without being directed or urged from the outside
Competence
having the qualities and the skills needed to perform a task or participate fully in an activity
Intimacy
in Erikson’s theory, the ability to form close, loving relationships; a primary developmental task in late adolescence and early adulthood
Menopause
the time of natural cessation of menstruation; also refers to the biological changes a woman experiences as her ability to reproduce declines.
Alzheimer’s Disease
an irreversible, progressive brain disorder, characterized by the deterioration of memory, language, and eventually, physical functioning
Cross Sectional Study
A research study that examines the effects of development (maturation) by examining different subjects at various ages
Longitudinal Study
research in which the same people are restudied and retested over a long period. (Myers Psychology 8e p. 183)
Crystallized Intelligence
one’s accumulated knowledge and verbal skills; tends to increase with age. (Myers Psychology 8e p. 184)
Cohort Effect
observed group differences based on the era when people were born and grew up, exposing them to particular experiences that may affect the results of cross-sectional studies
Fluid Intelligence
one’s ability to reason speedily and abstractly; tends to decrease during late adulthood. (Myers Psychology 8e p. 184)
Social Clock
the culturally preferred timing of social events such as marriage, parenthood, and retirement. (Myers Psychology 8e p. 186)
Elizabeth Kubler Ross
stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
What attracts us to others?
• positive outcomes/rewards
• physically attractiveness
• proximity
• similarity
• reciprocity
Physical attractiveness
beauty is good bias; helpful and advantageous to our survival and passing of genes.
Proximity
familiarity; Moreland and Beach (had women go to a college class several times a semester. One never went, one went 5 times, one went 10 times and one went 15 times. Students in the class ranked the 15 times person higher in attractiveness due to familiarity).
Similarity
attitudes, background, education; gives us something to do/talk about; more similarity than not.
Reciprocity
we like people who likes us; “balance theory”; boosts self-esteem.
Who is our ideal partner?
Buss (1989); people from 37 countries provided a list of mating factors and rated how important they were; sex differences (women prioritize money and ambition, whereas, men prioritize a younger partner).
Does attractiveness and status matter outside of the lab?
Gueguen and Lamy (2012); attractive male confederates asked young women who passed by for their number; guys stepped out of three different cars; more people complied when the men walked out of an Audi rather than an older car. “status matters”.
Do we all want the same type of relationship?
Clark and Hatfield (1989); men and women were approached on a college campus and asked a question. “Will you…. go out….. go to apartment…go to bed?”; Showed that men are more likely to condone and engage in short term mating.
What is love?
difficult to define; we know that it’s different than liking.

Cognitive components: people who are in love think about their partners all of the time. We think about them more positively (love is blind);

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Passion (absorption into another person); Commitment (your intention to stay in a relationship despite the difficulties of the relationship); Intimacy (warmth, closeness and self disclosure in a relationship).
Fatuous/Foolish
passion and commitment; Romeo and Juliet.
Companionate
intimacy and commitment; ex: best friend, grandparents.
Consamite Love
You have all 3 elements; ex: you hope to have this on your wedding day. This is easy to get to, but hard to maintain.
Anxiety over abandonment
high/low anxiety.
Avoidance of intimacy
how comfortable are we to get close with someone.
Secure attachment style
people who are low on both sides.
Preoccupied attachment style
low avoidance of intimacy, high anxiety of abandonment.
Dismissing Attachment style
high in avoidance, low anxiety.
Fearful Attachment Style
high in both avoidance and anxiety.
Rusbult’s Investment Model (1983)
desirable or enjoyable things that we get out of our relationship. They can be tangible or intangible.; 1. Rewards 2. Costs 3. Comparison level
Comparison level
rewards (minus) costs are your outcomes; what you expect to be getting.
Investments
tangible/intangible things that we’ve put into our relationship that you will not get back if that relationship.
Quality alternatives
alternatives to the relationships; “Can you do better?”; “no relationship is better than being in the relationship”.
Huston et al (2001)
studied 168 newlywed couples; measure 2 months than 2 years and then followed them 14 years after that; they didn’t start off “different”; the couples experienced drop differently (divorced later).
Gottman and Levenson, 1992
couples go into the lab and are told to have a fight; noted that unhappy couples fight differently.
What do happy couples do?
“relationship frame of mind”; their head is in the “we, our, us”; positive illusions; denigrate alternatives (down grade attractiveness of alternatives)
Why do divorces suck?
all of your investments are gone; loss of financial resources; loss of social structure; feeling of rejection.
Communal Relationships
Relationships in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give and recieve according to the principle of need; such relationships are long term.
Exchange Relationships
Relationships in which individuals feel little responsibility towards one another , giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity.
Social Exchange Theory
Theory based on the idea that all relationships have costs and rewards, and that how people feel about a relationship depends on their assessments of its costs and rewards and the costs and rewards available to them in other relationships
Equity Theory
Theory that maintains that people are motivated to pursue fairness, or equity, in their relationships; rewards and costs are shared equally among individuals
Attachment Theory
Theory about how our early attachments with our parents shape our relationships for the rest of our lives.
Secure Attachment Style
An attachment style characterized by feelings of security in relationships. Individuals with this style are comfortable with intimacy and want to be close to others during time of threat and uncertainty
Anxious-Preoccupied Style
An attachment style characterized by dependency or “clinginess”. People with this style tend to not think highly of themselves, but seek value and intimacy.
Dismissive-Avoidant Style
An attachment style characterized by independence and self-reliance. People with this style seek less intimacy with others and deny the importance of close relationships.
Fearful-Avoidant Style
An attachment style characterized by ambivalence and discomfort towards close relationships. People with this style seek closeness with others but feel unworthy of others’ affection and so do not seek out intimacy.
Propinquity
Physical Proximity
Functional Distance
The tendency of an architectural layout to encourage or inhibit certain activities, including contact between people.
Mere Exposure Effect
THe finding that repeated exposure to a stimulus leads to greater liking of the stimulus.
Complementarity
The tendency to seek out others with characteristics that are different and compliment their own.
Halo Effect
The common belief – accurate or not – that attractive individuals possess a host of positive qualities beyond their physical appearance.
Reproductive Fitness
The capacity to get ones genes passed on to a subsequent generation
Intrasex Competition
Direct competition between two or more males or females for access to members of the opposite sex.
Intersex Attraction
Heterosexuality
Triangular Theory of Love
Theory that states that love has three major components – passion, intimacy, and commitment – which can be combined in different ways.
Investment Model of Interpersonal Relationships
A model of interpersonal relationships that maintain that the three things that make partners more committed to each other: rewards, few alternative partners, and investments in the relationship.
What attracts us to relationships?
(All relationships start with attraction)
Positive Outcomes/rewards (If I can get something from you, I am more likely to like you. Ex: gifts, attention, you make me laugh)
Physical Attractiveness (Attracted to pretty people because you think their good people. Ex: Beauty is good bias and attractiveness is helpful/advantageous)
Proximity (closeness)
Evolutionary Theory
A guiding theory: Darwin argued that we have inherited biological mechanisms that help us survive; We inherit psychological things that help us survive.
Ex: We are attracted to attractive people because we think they have good genes (Not something that you consciously think about)
Physical Attractiveness
What do we find attractive? General trends: We tend to like average faces; The more mathematical average the face is, the more you are attractive. We also like symmetrical faces.
Ex: Denzel Washington
Some evidence says attractive people smell better
Sex Differences: Back to evolutionary theory- women: large eyes, small nose, youthful faces, small chin, full lips, and feminine
Ex: Angelina Joe Lee & Kerry Washington
Men- strong jaws, broad foreheads, a very masculine and dominant look or friendly and feminine faces. This is because for women to pass on their genes, they have a huge parental investment. With men, they have a much shorter/lower parental investment. Men want the best genes possible and a woman who can take care of a child. Women are attracted to masculine men when they are ovulating. The other 26 days, they are attracted to a nice guy like Justin Timberlake. Women preference change when ovulating (Ovulatory shift). Women are attracted to strength but they are also attracted to resources.
Proximity
Attracted to people that are close to us because of positive outcomes and rewards (reap rewards like attention). This is why long distance relationships are hard.
Familiarity(being around people, we are more likely to like them). Moreland & Beach (1992)-had women go to a college class several times throughout the semester. Either went 0, 5, 10, or 15 times. The class voted and liked the woman who went to class 15 times.
Similarity (ex: attitudes, interest, education, background)- Has to be more similarity than not. There is a balance because I don’t want to date my clone or my evil doppelganger.
Reciprocity- (We like people that like us); We sometimes start liking people because they like us
Who Is Our Ideal Partner?
Buss (1989): People from 37 cultures provided with a list of mating factors and rated how important they were. Sex Differences: Women prioritized providing, ambition (potential to provide). Men rated a younger partner as important and rated good looks (attractiveness). This is for long term mates. But for short term mates, this does not hold up.
What are we looking for?
Do different methods reveal the same findings? Furnham (2009)- List the top five things you want in a dating partner. Most common on agreement was caring/loving. Looks/attractiveness isn’t a priority for women but it is for men. A priority for women is funny/humorous and loyal/honest.
Does attractiveness and status matter outside the lab?
Gueguen & Lamy (2012)-Real world setting: A busy city street. Attractive male confederates asked young women for their phone numbers. Stepped out of one of three cars: Audi, Renault, Renault (really old version). Women said yes the most to the men with the Audi.
Do we all want the same types of relationships?
Clark & Hatfield (1989)- Men and women approached on a college campus and asked a question: Will you go out with me/ come to my apartment/ sleep with me? Men are more okay with short term dating like flings, one night stands, etc.
What is Love?
Different than liking
Cognitive Components: Think about their partners all of the time. Thinking about your partner can help you love them more. We think of them more positively (love is blind).
Biology of being in love- Loving, Crockett, & Paxson (2009): People in this study were passionately in love with their partner. When they talked about their partner, cortisol (stress hormone) increased in their body. It was a threat to the system, a high/lack of control.
Types of Love
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Passion
Commitment
Intimacy
Passion
Absorption into another person; this includes intense sexual feelings
LOINS
Commitment
Your intention to stay in a relationship despite the difficulties of the relationship
HEAD
Intimacy
Warmth and closeness of a relationships
HEART
Sternberg’s Theory of Love
Passion alone is known as infatuation (love at first sight)
Intimacy alone is known as liking
Commitment alone is known as empty love
Some relationships begin with just commitment, like arranged marriages.
If you have passion & intimacy, it results in romantic love (Nicholas Sparks). There is no COMMITMENT.
Passion and commitment is called fatuous/foolish love. Ex: I love you so much, we’re going to be married forever; Romeo and Juliet (didn’t even know her last name)
Companionate: EX: Best friend; type of love your grandparents have.
If you have all three, that is known as consummate (or complete) love. Sternberg’s tells us that this is easier to get than to maintain.
Romantic Love
Passion & Intimacy
Romantic lovers are drawn to each other physically and bonded emotionally.
They are not, however, bonded to each other.

Nicholas Sparks
There is no commitment

Fatuous/ Foolish Love
Passion & Commitment
This is the kind of love that leads to a whirlwind courtship, in which a couple makes a commitment based on passion and not intimacy.
This type of love usually does not last, despite the intent to commit.

Ex: I love you so much, we’re going to be married forever
Romeo & Juliet (didn’t even know her last name)

Companionate
Commitment & Intimacy
This is a long-term committed friendship, often occurring in marriages in which physical attraction has died down but in which the partners feel close to each other and have made the decision to stay together.

Type of love your grandparents have
Ex: Best friend

Consummate (complete) Love
All three components are present in this “complete” love which many people strive for.
It is easier to reach it than to hold onto it – This type of love may evolve into compassionate love.

If you have all three: Passion, commitment, and intimacy
Sternberg tells us that this is easier to get to than to maintain.

Attachment Styles
Proposed by John Bowlby but furthered in Psychology by Hazan & Shaver
Two dimensions of attachment: Anxiety over abandonment and avoidance of intimacy
Anxiety Over Abandonment
Is this person going to abandon me?
Avoidance of Intimacy
How comfortable are we getting close to other people?
Infatuation
Passion alone
This is “love at first sight”, a strong physical attraction and sexual arousal without intimacy or commitment.
Empty
Commitment alone
This is often found in long-term relationships that have lost both intimacy and passion, or in arranged marriages
Liking
Intimacy alone
This is closeness, understanding, emotional support, affection, bondedness, and warmth.
Secure
(low avoidance, low anxiety) – comfortable with intimacy and interdependence, optimistic and sociable, can trust others
Preoccupied
high anxiety, low avoidance) – uneasy and vigilant toward any threat to their relationships, needy and jealous; often wants to get closer than their partners would like
Dismissing
(low anxiety, high avoidance) – self-reliant and uninterested in intimacy, indifferent and independent, prefer to not rely on others
Fearful
(high anxiety, high avoidance) – fear of rejection and mistrustful of other; suspicious and shy, worry about being hurt but want to get close to their partners
What Keeps us in Relationships?
Rusbult’s Investment Model (1983)
Argues that we are maximizers. We want the most we can get out of a relationship.
Rewards
Costs
Outcomes
Rewards
Desirable or enjoyable things that we get out of our relationships
(Can e tangible or intangible)
Costs
Undesirable, negative, punishing experiences of being in a relationship.
Ex: time
Outcomes
Rewards minus cost. You compare outcomes to your comparison level.
We compare outcomes to our comparison level to see how satisfied we are.
Investments
Tangible & intangible things that we have put into this relationship that you won’t get back if this relationship ends
Ex: Time, money, energy, effort, personal integrity
Quality of Alternatives
Alternative to this relationship
Ex: Can I do better than this current relationship?
Alone can also be an alternative.
Relationship Commitment
How committed you are to this relationship
Predicts relationship stability
How are unhappy relationships different than happy relationships?
Were they always different?
Differences and changes in affection (Huston et al., 2001)- They were curious about affection in relationships. 168 newlywed couples; Measured them 2 months after they were married, then 2 years later and 13-14 years later. 105 couples still together, 56 divorced, 7 widowed. People who divorced late had just as much love & affection. No they weren’t always different. But they experienced a huge drop in love affection which is different from the other couples.
Conflict Styles
Gottman & Levenson 1992
Method: Told to discuss a relationship problem for 15 minutes. they video taped you having the argument. Unhappy couples use less positive and more negative communication during conflict. They exhibit more negative emotion. Use less affection when they fight. Greater predictability of behaviors between partners. Longer cycles of negative reciprocal behaviors.
Happy Relationships
Compared to unhappy couples, what do happy couples do?
“Relationship” frame of mind- Thinks as “we”. Puts partner’s interest ahead of their own, makes enhancing relationship attributions.
Positive Illusions: About ones partner- see your partner better than they see themselves. About ones relationship- see their relationship as improving even when there is no objective evidence
Denigrating Alternatives
Lyndon et al. (1999)
Downplay the attractiveness of alternatives- Had participants tell them about a dating site. Had to rate attractiveness of people. High threat condition: Told them that they would like to meet you.
What do we know about divorces?
20% of all first marriages will end in divorce in the first 5 years; 33% end in 10 years
Second marriages- 23% and 39%
Divorces and break-ups in general are associated with- a host of negative things: negative emotion, physical & mental health problems, stress increases, accidents increase. Why? – Because everything you invested is gone; a real sense of loss. A loss of money, social structure (splitting friends), feeling of rejection, all around unpleasant
Perilloux & Buss (2008)
Male and female college students reported on their most recent romantic Break-up
The rejecters vs. Rejected
Rejecter group: Women felt sadness; men were split between sadness and happiness (a lot of sex differences)
Rejectees: Women sad and men sad (not a lot of sex difference)
exchange relationship
a relationship in which individuals feel little responsibility toward one another; giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity; such relationships are usually short (“trade-based”)–salesperson and bureaucrats; workers and supervisors
communal relationship
a relationship in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give and receive according to the principle needs; such relationships are often long term–family members and close friends
social exchange theory
a theory based on the idea that how people feel about a relationship depends on their assessments of its costs and rewards–“maximize own feelings of satisfaction”
comparison level
expectations about what people think they deserve or expect to get out of the relationship—people who have a high comparison level expect a lot from their relationships
comparison level for alternatives
expectations about what people think they can get out of alternative relationships
equity theory
the idea that people are motivated to pursue fairness, or equity, in their relationships; a relationship is considered equitable when the benefits are proportionate to the effort both people put into it—not always the goal in collectivistic cultures
attachment styles
attachment theory–the idea that early attachments with parents and other caregivers can shape relationships for a person’s whole life
anxious attachment–not as reliable in their responses to the infants
avoidant attachment–rejected infants
secured attachment–responded quickly and reliably
anxiety dimension of attachment
a facet of attachment that captures the degree to which a person is worried about rejection and abandonment by relationship partners–“amount of fear a person feels about rejection and abandonment”
avoidance dimension of attachment
a facet of attachment that captures the degree to which a person is comfortable with intimacy and dependence on relationship partners–“someone who is not anxious about rejection or abandonment”
proximity
paths crossed frequently–presumably leads to friendship because it facilitates chance encounters
functional distance
the influence of an architectural layout to encourage or inhibit certain activities, including contact between people
mere exposure effect
the idea that repeated exposure to a stimulus, such as an object or person, leads to greater liking of the stimulus “more you are exposed to something, more you tend to like it”
complementarity
“opposites attract” tendency for people to seek out others with characteristics that are different from, and complement, their own–only for those traits for which one person’s needs can be met by the other
investment model
a model of interpersonal relationships maintaining that three determinants make partners more committed to each other: relationship satisfaction, few alternative partners, and investments in the relationship
Interpersonal relationships
Attachments in which bonds of family, friendship, love, respect, or hierarchy tie together two or more individuals over an extended period of time
Attachment theory
A theory about how our early attachments with our parents shape our relationships for the remainder of our lives
Working model of relationships
A conceptual model of relationships with our current partners (including their availability, warmth, and ability to provide security) as derived from our childhood experience with how available and warm our parents were
Strange situation
An experimental situation designed to assess an infant’s attachment to the caregiver; an infant’s reactions are observed after her caregiver has left her alone in an unfamiliar room with a stranger and then when the caregiver returns to the room (the reunion)
Secure
Type of attachment style characterized by feelings of security in the relationships; individuals with this style are comfortable with intimacy and want to be close to others during times of threat and uncertainty
Avoidant
Type of attachment style characterized by feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style exhibit compulsive self-reliance, prefer distance from others, and are dismissive and detached during times of threat and uncertainty
Anxious
Type of attachment style characterized by feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style compulsively seek closeness, express continual worries about relationships, and excessively try to get closer to others during times of threat and uncertainty
Relational self theory
A theory that examines how prior relationships shape our current beliefs, feelings, and interactions vis-a-vis people who remind us of significant others from our past
Relational self
The beliefs, feelings, and expectations that we have about ourselves that derive from our relationships with significant others in our lives
Communal relationships
Relationships in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give and receive according to the principle of need; such relationships are often long-term
Exchange relationships
Relationships in which the individuals feel little responsibility toward one another and in which giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity; such relationships are often short-term
Power
The ability to control our own outcomes and those of others; the freedom to act
Status
The outcome of an evaluation of attributes that produces differences in respect and prominence, which in part determines an individual’s power within a group
Authority
Power that derives from institutionalized roles or arrangements
Dominance
Behavior that has the acquisition or demonstration of power as its goal
Approach/inhibition theory
A theory that states that higher-power individuals are inclined to go after their goals and make quick judgements, whereas low-power individuals are more likely to constrain their behavior and attend to other carefully
Social dominance orientation
The desire to see one’s own group dominate other groups
Triangular theory of love
A theory that states that there are three major components of love (passion, intimacy, and commitment) which can be combined in different ways
Investment model of interpersonal relationships
A model of interpersonal relationships that maintains that three things make partners more committed to each other; rewards, few alternative partners, and investments in the relationship
Interaction dynamics approach
A methodological approach to the study of the behaviors and conversations of couples, with a focus on both negative behaviors (such as anger, criticism, defensiveness, contempt, sadness, and fear) and positive behaviors (such as affection, enthusiasm, interest, and humor)
Conformity
when we adjust our behaviors and attitudes to coincide with the group norm, part of normal social interaction but can also be harmful
Reasons for conformity
informational influence, normative influences
Informational influence
a form of social influence that causes people to conform because they believe others are more credible or possess more information
Normative influence
a form of social influence that causes people to conform because they fear the consequences of appearing deviant from social norms
Types of conformity
private conformity, public conformity
Private conformity
occurs when a person experiences changes in both overt behaviors and beliefs, produced by informational infleunce
public conformity
occurs when a person experiences only superficial changes in overt behavior but their beliefs remain unchanged. Produced by normative influence
Obedience
compliant behavior produced by the commands of authority
Factors that affect obedience
proximity of authority figure, legitimacy of authority figure, proximity of any people that negative behavior has consequences on, observing other people not be obedient to the same instructions, incremental requests, personal responsibility
Compliance
change in behavior elicited by a direct request from a person who is not an authority figure
Cialdini’s principles of influence
consistency and commitment, reciprocity, social proof, liking, authority, scarcity
Consistency and commitment infleunce
strong desire for our attitudes to be consistent with our behaviors. Examples of us modifying our self concept help us act consistently in the future while we have desires to fulfill commitments that we make
Reciprocity influence
we repay favors others give us
Social proof influence
we are inclined to follow the lead of others
Liking influence
the more we like someone, the more likely we are to comply with their request
Authority influence
Authority figures can be extremely influential
Scarcity influence
if an item is rare/distinct, it becomes more valuable to us
Persuasion Techniques
foot in the door, low balling, door in the face, that’s not all
Foot in the door
a two step compliance technique in which the influencer prefaces the real request by first getting a person to comply with a much smaller request (consistency)
Low balling
two step compliance technique where the influencer secures agreement to a request but then increases the size of the request by revealing hidden costs (commitment)
Door in the face
a two step compliance technique where the influencer prefaces the real request with a request so large that it makes the real request more reasonable (reciprocity and perceptual contrast)
That’s not all
a two step compliance technique where the influencer makes the request, then interrupts the person before they can answer, adding features that either increase the attractiveness of the offer or decrease the perceived size of it (reciprocity and perceptual contrast)
Prosocial behavior
behavior that is positive towards social interactions (helping behavior in emergency situations)
Steps of prosocial behavior
must recognize behavior, must interpret it as an emergency, must take personal responsibility to take action
Bystander apathy
the presence of others inhibits helping behavior
Pluralistic ignorance
false impression of what other people are thinking. Mistaken belief that your thoughts are completely different from all those others in a crowd
Diffusion of responsibility
the thought that someone else will take responsibility in a certain situation (bystander effect)
Beginning of interpersonal relationships
attraction (proximity, familiarity, physical attractiveness) proximity leads to familiarity and attraction to the other person.
What men value
value physical attractiveness more than women (about the same value for short term relationship, men value long term relationship)
Factors affecting physical attractiveness
averageness, facial symmetry, facial features, body shape, attractive reciprocity
Continuation of interpersonal relationships
3 theories: attachment theory, social exchange theory, investment model
Attachment theory
states people possess different outlooks on relationships based on childhood attachments
Dimensions of attachment theory
attachment anxiety, attachment avoidance
Attachment anxiety
degree to which a person feels unworthy of love and fearful of rejection
Attachment avoidance
degree to which a person avoids or feels uncomfortable with closeness and emotional intimacy in relationships, changes in attachment generally progress from avoidant or anxious to more secure attachment style
Social exchange theory
states people are motivated to maximize benefits and minimize costs associated with relationships
Benefits of relationships
love, companionship, emotional intimacy, SEX YA!
Costs of relationships
interpersonal conflict, less time for friendships, loss of independence Rewards>costs=positive outcome (satisfaction) Costs>rewards=negative outcome (dissatisfaction) Rewards- costs= outcome
Unsatisfactory relationship
people are most likely to remain in this situation if they perceive that there is no better option and that they are likely to leave a good relationship if they perceive that there is an opportunity for a great relationship
Investment model
builds on the comparison model, commitment not satisfaction is the greatest predictor for relationship success
Commitment based factors
satisfaction, quality of alternatives, investment
Satisfaction
Rewards- costs – comparison levels = level of satisfaction
Quality of alternatives
outcomes assumed from other situations (is there a better situation out there?)
Invesment
the more time spent invested in a relationship, the more likely to are willing to stick with it. Satisfaction – quality of alternatives + investment = commitment
Social Facilitation
an increase in a person’s performance of a task due to the presence of other people. (social interference is the opposite)
Mere presence theory
states that arousal due to the presence of others is hard wired into humans and that the mere presence of others results in social facilitation/interference
Evaluation Apprehension theory
states that arousal due to the presence of others is due to the fact that they will be evaluating out performance, we are concerned with this evaluation
Groupthink
mode of thinking that people engage in when the need for agreement becomes so dominant in a cohesive in-group that it tends to override realistic appraisal of alternative courses of action
Faults of groupthink
leads to ineffective discussion due to stress on the group (the group ignores relevant information, refuses to challenge own ideas)
Elements of groupthink
working in a close concert, behind a leader with a cohesive plan, results in positive outcomes when there is a clear answer.
When there is not a clear answer and you need to reach consensus (not action) then disagreement is helpful
Symptoms of groupthink
the group overestimates its ability to make a good decision and feels invulnerable to wrongdoing, the group is close minded, mindguards reprimand people who make counter arguments: increasing pressure towards uniformity, members engage in self censorship, illusion of unanimity exists
Ineffective decision making from groupthink
incomplete understanding of final objectives, failure to understand alternative avenues or re-evaluate, bias in information gathering that supports the initial course of action, failure to devise contingency plans
Reducing groupthink
consult with a variety of people, incorporate critical evaluation, reduce conformity, appoint a ‘devil’s advocate’
social psychology
the scientific study of the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of individuals in social situations
social psych vs. personality psych
social psychologists look at how individuals react “on average” in social situations, personality psychologists look at the effects of individual traits and characteristics on their reactions
proximal factors in social psych
power of social situations, construal processes, thinking (rapid, intuitive, unconcious) (slower, analytical, conscious)
distal factors in social psych
evolution and culture
social influence
the myriad ways that people impact one another, including changes in attitudes, beliefs, feelings, and behavior that result from the comments, actions, or even the mere presence of others
fundamental attribution error
the failure to recognize the importance of situational influences on behavior, together with the tendency to overemphasize the importance of dispositions or traits on behavior
percent of participants in the Milgram study that delivered 450- volts
62.5%
The “Good Samaritan” study by Darley & Batson
seminarians not in a hurry were good samaritans (stopped to offer help), seminarians in a hurry not as good samaritans (did not stop to offer help)
Kurt Lewin’s channel factors
certain situational circumstances that appear unimportant on the surface but that can have great consequences for behavior, either facilitating or blocking it or guiding behavior in a particular direction
construal
interpretation and inference about the stimuli or situations we confront
schemas
generalized knowledge about the physical and social world and how to behave in particular situations and with different kinds of people
stereotypes
schemas that we have for people of various kinds that can be applied and misapplied so as to facilitate, and sometimes derail, the course of interaction
1. Automatic processing
2. Controlled processing
1. based on emotional factors (unconcious)
2. concious and systematic, and more likely to be controlled by careful thought
Bargh, Chen, and Burrows study
this study found that just mentioning words that call to mind the elderly (“cane,” “Florida”) causes college students to walk down a hall more slowly
naturalistic fallacy
the way things are, are the way they should be
1. collectivist
2. indivualist
1. emphasize the group and family
2. emphasize the individual
correlational study
research in which there is not random assignment to different situations or conditions, and from which psychologists can just see whether or not there is a relationship between the variables

For example; people who watch the 11pm local news– with its murders, fires, and other news worthy mayhem– see more danger in the world than people who do not.

difference between experiments and other research methods
there is an independent variable and a dependent variable
1. independent variable
2. dependent variable
1. the variable about which a prediction is made and that is manipulated in experimental research
2. the variable that is presumed to be affected by the independent variable manipulation and that is measured in experiment research
observational study
research involving observation of and often participation in the lives of people in some group or situation with the intention of stuying aspects of group beliefs, values, or behavior
social facilitation
initially a term for enhanced performance in the presence of others; now a broader term for the effect – positive or negative – of the presence of others on performance. (Norman Triplett)
social loafing
the tendency to exert less effort when working on a group task in which individual contributions cannot be monitored
deindividuation
the reduced sense of individual identity accompanied by diminished self- regulation that comes over a person when he or she is in a large group
individuation
emphasizing individual identity by focusing attention on the self, which will generally lead a person to act carefully and deliberately and in accordance with his or her sense of propriety and values
self-awareness theory
a theory that predicts that when people focus their attention inward on themselves, they become concerned with self-evaluation and how their current behavior conforms to their internal standards and valus
groupthink
a kind of faulty thinking on the part of highly cohesive groups in which the critical scrutiny that should be devoted to the issues at hand is subverted by social pressures to reach consensus
risky shift
the tendency for groups to make riskier decisions than individuals
group polarization
the tendency for group decisions to be more extreme than those made by individuals; whatever way the individuals are leaning, group discussion tends to make them lean further in that direction
Zajonc’s “cockroach” study and social facilitation effect
the presence of another cockroach facilitated performance on the simple maze but hindered performance on the complex maze. Also, the presence of a passive audience helped performance on the simple task but interfered with performance on the difficult task.
Ed Dieners “halloween” research
children who arrived in groups were much more likely to transgress than those who were alone, regardless of whether they were anonymous or not. children who were anonymous were much more likely to transgress than those who were individuated, regardless of whether they were alone or in groups.
interpersonal attraction
exists between acquaintances, coworkers, friends, mentors, lovers, etc. It can be based on sexual arousal, intellectual stimulation or respect for anthers actions or beliefs. can be conscious or preconscious.

“An individuals tendency or predisposition to evaluate another person.. in a positive or negative way”

Darley & Berscheid “personality profile” study
University of Minnesota women were told they were going to meet two fellow students one they were expected to meet and one they were not. personality profiles were made equivalent through counterbalancing. participants like the person they expected to meet significantly more.
propinquity
physical proximity
factors that predict interpersonal attraction
1. propinquity
2. physical attractiveness
3.similarity in attitudes
two factors that signal health and reproductive fitness
1. averageness
2. bilateral symmetry
Gangestad & Thornhill “t shirt” study
women who were at various phases of their menstrual cycle were asked to sniff a number of t shirts that had earlier been worn by a group of men who varied in their degree of bilateral symmetry. the t shirts of the symmetrical men were judged to have a better aroma than those of less symmetrical men but only by women who were close to the ovulation phase of cycle.
What evolutionary psychology and lap dancers have in common research study
women during the ovulatory phase of their menstrual cycle can more quickly recognize male faces as male than during other times of the month and that females during the ovulatory phase prefer men who pursue more masculine presentation.
halo effect
the common belief – accurate or not- that attractive individuals possess a host of positive qualities beyond their physical appearance (in individualistic cultures like the US attractive people are seen as more dominant and assertive. in collectivistic cultures attractive people are seen as generous, sensitive, and empathetic. )
self-fulfilling prophecy
the tendency for people to act in ways that elicit confirmation of a belief that they hold
David Buss’s research on culture and mates
both men and women rated kindness and intelligence higher than physical attractiveness but men did rank it higher than women.
Snyder, Tanke, & Berscheid study on self-fulfilling prophecy
experiment where men were told they were going to talk to woman and were either shown their “picture” or not and ended up rating the women who had talked to someone who thought she was attractive as warmer and socially poised than the women who had talked to someone who thought she was unattractive.
consequences of rejection
1. Aggression
2. Decrease in prosocial behavior
3. May exhibit interest in forming new social bonds
4. Feelings of numbness and loss of sensitivity to physical pain
5. Change in one’s emotions
Why rejection occurs
1. Being aggressive
2. Isolation breeds more isolation
3. Deviance
4. “Falling upward”
Juvonen & Gross
studies of rejection among children
support for the claim that the need to belong is universal
Harlows monkeys evolution
John Bowlby
associated with attachment theory. says that our early attachments with our parents shape our relationships for the remainder of our lives. Says infants survive by forming intensely close attachments to parents.
working models of relationships
conceptual models of relationships with current others based on the other persons availability, warmth, and ability to provide security as derived from children’s experience with how available and how warm their parents were.
strange situation
Mary Ainsworth, experimental situation designed to assess attachment to caregivers an infant is observed after her caregiver has left her alone in an unfamiliar room with a stranger and then reacts to reunion with the caregiver upon her return.
1. secure attachment style
2. avoidant attachment style
3. anxious attachment style
Attachment styles:
1. feelings of security in relationships; individuals with this style are comfortable with intimacy and desire to be close to others during times of threat and uncertainty
2. feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style are prone to exhibit compulsive self- reliance, prefer distance from others, and during conditions of threat and uncertainty are dismissive and detached.
3. feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style compulsively seek closeness, express continual worries about relationships and during situations of threat and uncertainty try to get closer to others
relational self-theory
theory that there are four qualitatively different kinds of relationships each characterized by highly distinct ways of defining the self and others, allocating resources and work, making moral judgements and punishing transgressions.
self- expansion theory
theory that holds that people enter into and remain in close relationships to expand the self by including resources, perspectives, experiences, and characteristics of the others as part of their own self concept.
power
ability to control ones own outcomes and those of others, and the freedom to act.
status
the outcome of an evaluation of attributes that produces differences in respect and prominence, which in part determines an individuals power within a group
dominance
behavior that has the acquisition or demonstration of power as its goal
age and social hierarchies
older you are the more power you have?
high power individuals are more extraverted and low power is more introverted. power comes from: authority, expertise, coercion, rewards to others, and reference power
French & Raven’s five sources of power
1. authority
2. expertise on knowledge
3. coercion: ability to use force and aggression
4. rewards to others
5. reference power
abuse of power & power inhibition
elevated power is control over others, freedom to do whatever you want and the lack of social constraint.
power inhibition: high power individuals should be a little less systematic and careful in how they judge the social world. found that participants given power in an experiment are indeed less likely to at ten to individuating information and more likely to rely on stereotypes
1. communal sharing relationship
2. authority ranking relationship
3. equality matching relationship
4. market pricing relationship
5. exchange relationship
6. communal relationship
Different kinds of relationships:
1. a relationship based on a sense of sameness and kinship. Resources are generated by those in the group capable of doing so, and resources go to those in need. (family, close friends)
2. a relationship based on hierarchy, status, and a linear ordering of people within a group. (military, modern organizations, gangs)
3. a relationship based on equality, reciprocity, and balance. (roommates, friends, carpool, most friendships)
4. a relationship based on a sense of proportion, trade, and equity, in which people are concerned with ensuring that their inputs to a relationship correspond to what they get out of the relationship. (employee/worker, investor/corp.)
5. relationships in which the individuals feel little responsibility toward one another and in which giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity; such relationships are often short term
6. relationships in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give according to the principle of ability and receive according to the principle of need; such relationships are often long term.
social dominance orientation
the desire to see one’s own group dominate other groups
Sternberg’s triangular theory of love
three major components of love are intimacy, passion and commitment. all three together are considered to be the “ultimate” love. two important facts about romantic bonds:
1. important to our social life
2. important to our well being
Levenson & Gottman’s “four horses of the apocalypse”
four horses of the apocalypse: negative behaviors most harmful to relationships-
1. criticism
2. defensiveness
3. stonewalling
4. contempt
Carol Rusbult’s investment model of interpersonal relationships
model of interpersonal relationships that maintains that three things make partners more committed to one another: rewards, alternativeness, and investments in the relationship.
William James and the self
in his terminology the I self is like an observer of ourselves; it is the self that looks upon the individual and his or her actions. the me self is what the i self observes; which is the collection of attributes, preferences, and actions that the i self beholds
Distinctiveness hypothesis
the hypothesis that we identify what makes us unique in each particular context, and we highlight that in our self-definition. McGuire and Singer did research on it.
Frank Sulloway’s research on birth- order effects
“Born to Rebel” sibling conflict is frequent, widespread, and can be deadly. older siblings are bigger, more powerful and act as surrogate parents, invested in the status quo. Younger siblings are expected to rebel and are more agreeable and open.
Festinger’s social comparison theory
the hypothesis that we compare ourselves to other people in order to evaluate our opinions, abilities, and internal states. When people have no objective standard that they can use to learn about their own abilities and attitudes, they do so by comparing themselves to others.
Tony Higgins’ theory of actual love and other selves
says that we compare our actual self to 2 other selves and that these comparisons have important motivational implications.
1. ideal self: embodies the wishes and aspirations we and other people maintain about ourselves.
2. ought self: concerned with the duties, obligations, and external demands we feel we are compelled to honor.
self- reference effect
the tendency to elaborate upon and recall information that is integrated into our self knowledge. studies suggest that to the extent that you personalize your perception of events and objects in the environment you will be more likely to think about and remember the info.
self- schemas
knowledge based summaries of our feelings and actions and how we understand others views about the self. Hazel Markus
Research findings on self-esteem (Baumeister)
-a person who has such elevated self esteem may think they are superior but may be sensitive to threats, insults, and challenges
-may be volatile and use violent action to reassert his superiority and to dominate
-people who report high self esteem and grandiosity also report greater aggressive tendencies
-slavery, terrorism, and genocide are products of dangerous mixture of feelings of superiority and threats to the go.
Self-verification theory
theory that holds that we strive for stable, accurate beliefs about the self because such beliefs give us a sense of coherence
Tesser’s self-evaluation maintenance model
model that maintains that we are motivated to view ourselves in a favorable light, and that we do so through two processes: reflection and social comparison. says that we will tend to select friends who are not our equal in domains that matter to us but we will seek out people who excel in domains that are not our own.
Contingencies of self worth account of self-esteem
their model is based on the premise that self esteem is contingent successes and failures in domains upon which a person has based his or her self worth. ex. approval, appearance, religious identity, family support, school competence, competition and virtue.
Sociometer hypothesis
hypothesis that maintains that self esteem is an internal subjective index or marker of the extent to which we are included or looked on favorably by others. Mark Leary
Self- monitoring
tendency for people to monitor their behavior in such a way that it fits the demands or the current situation. Goffman
Communications styles
on record: statements intended to be taken literally
off record: indirect and ambiguous communication that allows us to hint at ideas and meanings that are not explicit in the words we utter.
Interpersonal attraction
The degree to which we like other individuals
Levinger – five possible relationship stages
1. initial attraction
2. building a relationship
3. continuation
4. deterioration
5. ending
Propinquity effect
The more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends
Zajonc’s theory of repeated exposure – what does exposure lead to if the stimulus is positive?
A more positive evaluation of the stimulus
Zajonc’s theory of repeated exposure – what does exposure lead to if the stimulus is negative?
More dislike for the stimulus
Mere exposure effect
The more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it
Physical attractiveness
Combination of facial and bodily characteristics that are generally perceived as visually appealing or unappealing
Appearance anxiety
Apprehension or worry about whether one’s appearance is adequate and about the evaluations of other people
Evolutionarily, who are men attracted to/who do they mate with?
Young, healthy, fertile females
Evolutionarily, who do women mate with?
Men who could best provide and protect
Face – what do men like?
Both neoteny (childlike features) and maturity (well-defined features)
Face – what do women like?
– Big eyes
– Prominent cheekbones
– Rugged chins
– some like feminine features of full lips, slender nose, and finer chin
What type of male faces are women attracted to when ovulating?
Masculine faces
Waist-to-hip ratio
Measurement of circumference of the waist relative to the hips
Waist-to-hip ratio, what’s attractive on:
– women
– men
– .7
– .9
Body mass index (BMI)
Measurement of body weight relative to height
Affect-centred model of attraction
A conceptual framework in which attraction is assumed to be based on positive and negative emotions
Affect-centred model of attraction – what two ways can emotions be aroused?
– Direct effect
– Associated effect
Affect-centred model of attraction – direct effect
Another person says or does something that makes you feel good or bad
Affect-centred model of attraction – associated effect
A person is merely present when something good or bad occurs
Emotions and Attraction – Direct effect of emotions on attraction
Attraction can occur based on affective reaction to person’s appearance, attitudes, etc.
Emotions and Attraction – Indirect effects of emotions on attraction
Other sources (recent experience, your physical state, current mood) influence your mood and evaluations of others
Need for affiliation
The motive to seek interpersonal relationships
What is considered an integral part of growing intimacy?
Self-disclosure
Self-disclosure
Revelation of personal information about the self to someone else
Festinger’s theory of social comparison
Our tendency to evaluate our opinions and abilities based on comparison with other people
Festinger’s theory of social comparison – who do we prefer to compare ourselves with?
People who are similar to ourselves
Similarity
Attraction to people who are like us
Complementarity
Attraction to people who are opposite to us
Proportion of similar attitudes
Number of topics similar to each other compared to number of topics discussed
Repulsion hypothesis
Attraction is not enhanced by similar attitudes; instead, people are initially attracted and then repulsed by the discovery of dissimilar attitudes
Matching hypothesis
Individuals are attracted as friends, romantic partners or spouses on the basis of similar attributes
Love styles
Basic theories people have about love that guide their behaviour in relationships
Love styles – types (6)
– Eros
– Ludus
– Storge
– Pragma
– Mania
– Agape
Love styles – eros
Passionate, physical love, where the partner’s physical appearance is very important
Love styles – ludus
Love as a game, never too serious
Love styles – storge
Slow-growing love which evolves out of friendship/affection
Love styles – pragma
Commensensical, realistic love, in which conditions must be met
Love styles – mania
Highly emotional, roller-coaster ride love
Love styles – agape
Selfless, giving and altruistic love where you think not of yourself but your partner and what you can do for them
Sternberg’s triangle of love – 3 peaks
– Intimacy (liking)
– Passion (infatuation)
– Commitment (empty love)
Sternberg’s triangle of love – between passion and commitment
Fatuous love
Sternberg’s triangle of love – between passion and intimacy
Romantic love
Sternberg’s triangle of love – between commitment and intimacy
Companionate
Sternberg’s triangle of love – in center
Consummate love
Sternberg’s triangle of love – companionate love
The feelings of intimacy and affection we feel for another person about whom we care deeply
Sternberg’s triangle of love – passionate love
The feelings of intense longing, accompanied by physiological arousal, we feel for another person; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair
Attachment theory
The theory that our behaviour in adult relationships is based on our experiences as infants with our parents or caregivers
Attachment styles
The expectations people develop about relationships with others based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants
Attachment styles – types (3)
– Secure
– Avoidant
– Anxious/ambivalent
Secure attachment style
Characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned, and the view that one is worthy and well liked
Anxious/ambivalent attachment style
Characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety
Avoidant attachment style
Characterized by a suppression of attachment needs, because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed
Avoidant attachment style – 2 types
– Fearful avoidant
– Dismissive avoidant
Avoidant attachment style – fearful avoidant
Close relationships are avoided due to mistrust and fears of being hurt
Avoidant attachment style – dismissive avoidant
Person is self-sufficient and claims not to need close relationships
Social exchange theory
The theory that how people feel about a relationship depends on their perceptions of the rewards and costs of the relationship, the kind of relationship they deserve, and the probability that they could have a better relationship with someone else
Reward/cost ratio
The notion that there is a balance between the rewards that come from a relationship and the personal cost of maintaining the relationship (if ratio is not favourable, dissatisfaction)
Comparison level
People’s expectations about the levels of rewards and costs that they deserve in a relationship
Comparison level for alternatives
People’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they would receive in an alternative relationship
Equity theory
People are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs that a person experiences and the contributions he/she makes are roughly equal to the rewards, costs and contributions of the other person
Investment model
People’s commitment to a relationship depends on their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of rewards, costs and comparison level; their comparison level for alternatives; and how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it
Exchange relationships
Relationships governed by the need for equity (for a comparable ratio of rewards and costs)
Communal relationships
Relationships in which people’s primary concern is being responsive to the other person’s needs
Positive illusions
Idealization of our romantic relationships and partners in order to maintain the relationship
Components of marital success (4)
– Friendship
– Commitment
– Similarity
– Positive affect
Relationship awareness
One of the partners starts to examine the relationship
Sources of relationship conflict (4)
– dissimilarities
– boredom
– positive vs. negative communication
– jealousy
Emotions and Attraction – other
Affect aroused by one person can become associated with another person (prejudice against someone, then anyone who likes them is disliked)
social exchange theory
a. How ppl exchange rewards/benefits and costs/contributions to relationships
interdependence theory
Based on the idea that interaction btwn partners is the essence of all close relationships. Through exchange of resources partners can become interdependent and committed to one another. People are motivated to be in relationships that provide them w/ high levels of rewards and low levels of costs.
Rewards and Costs
resources that are pleasurable and gratifying or resources that result in a loss or punishment. emotional rewards, social rewards, instrumental rewards, opportunity rewards
emotional rewards/costs
: emotional rewards- positive feelings we experience in a relationship. Emotional costs- all negative feelings.
social rewards/costs
social rewards- being able to meet and interact w/ ppl we like and enjoy being around // being seen in a positive light bc of our association w/ someone. Social costs- having to engage in unpleasant social activites // being
instrumental rewards/costs
instrumental rewards- partner helps you to get something done. Instrumental costs- when you are caused to have more work or responsibility
opportunity rewards/costs
: being able to do something that one could not otherwise do OR having to give something up for the sake of the relationship
Outcomes=
rewards minus the costs. Ross and Rachel Friend’s pro con list video.
Comparison Level
accounting for the expectation level – what we expect out of a relationship. Involves the expectation of the kinds of outcomes a person expects to receive in a relationship. Based on your past relationships. If you had a good last relationship and your parents have a great relationship you likely have a high comparison level.
i. History of current relationship can have influence on comparison level.
ii. All depends on your expectations.
Quality of Alternatives
perceiving yoru alternatives can be a factor of if you stay in relationship or not. Ppl w/ good alternatives tend to be less committed to their relationships. Ppl w/ poor alternatives tend to be very committed to relationship.
i. Man deciding to stay in unhappy marriage at fear he might lose custody of kids.
The Investment Model
a. Extension of interdependence theory. Quality of alternatives, relational satisfaction, and investment size affects commitment. Commitment determines whether ppl stay together or break up.
investments
resources that become attached to a relationship and would decline in value or be lost if the relationship were to end.
intrinisic investments
those that are put directly into the relationship including time effort affection and disclosure.
Extrinsic investments:
resources or benefits that are developed over time such as material possessions, enmeshment w/ a common social system, identity that is attached to relationship
Model of Accommodation
describes how ppl respond to problems or dissatisfying events in their relationships. People have 4 basic response choices when it comes to dealing w/ problems in their relationships:exit, neglet, voice, loyalty
exit
threatening to break up, moving out of house, divorce
neglect
standing by and letting conditions in relationship get worse
voice
attempt to improve conditions in the relationship by engaging in prosocial comm
loyalty
optimistically wait for positive change and hoping things will improve
4 types of prorelationship behavior to help get through difficult times:
deciding to remain, derogating alternatives, being willing to make sacrifices, perceiving relationsihp superiority
deciding to remain
deciding to remain
derogating alternatives
ppl find reasons to downgrade potential alternative partners. Finding faults about alternatives
being willing to make sacrifices
being willing to make sacrifices
perciving relational superiority
highly committed relational partners perceive their relationship to be superior to other relationships – the grass is rarely greener on the other side
barriers that keep relationsihps together
the forces that stop ppl from terminating a relationship. Staying bc you have to. Social pressures, finances, fear of being alone. internal and external barriers
i. Internal Psychological Barriers-
personal factors that keep ppl from ending relationship. Commitment, investments, obligations, religious beliefs, identity.
ii. External Structural Barriers-
financial situations, legal issues, social pressures.
Equity Theory
a. Focuses on determining whether the distribution of resources is fair to both relational partners. Comparing the ratio of contributions and benefits for each person.
Benefits of Equity
relationships are happier if they are perceived to be equitable. Married ppl who perceive they are overbenefited are happier than those who think they are underbenefited.
consequences of undebenefited equity
– increase in distress and decrease in satisfaction. Experience more distress than overbenefited ppl. Report least relational satisfaction. They feel cheated, used, and taken for granted. Angry. Less prosocial forms of comm
consequences of overbenefited equity
feel smothered and wish partner would spend less time doing things for them. Might try to increase partners rewards w/ prosocial behaviors. Most don’t feel guilt for being over benefited and therefore don’t use maintenance behaviors.
General ways to Reduce Distress in Inequitable Relationships
3 ways
restoring actual equity
changing behavior. Either contribute more/less. Or ask partner to change behavior.
adjusting pspychological equity
changing perception of what their costs/benefits are actually worth. Realizing that a friend actually does do a lot in friendship, ect.
leaving the relationship
– temporarily leaving so partner realizes what they’re worth.
Need to belong
– We have an intrinsic need to affiliate with other people and to maintain enduring, close relationships
– Drives short-term and long-term relationships
– Why? Aids Survival: Reproduction, Cooperation = protection, success as hunter/gatherer; People who feel supported by close relationships are happier, healthier, and at lower risk for psychological disorders and premature death
Factors of Interpersonal Attraction
1. Proximity
2. Similarity
3. Reciprocity
4. Physical Attractiveness
Proximity
– The more we see & interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends
– Mere Exposure: The more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more likely we are to like it
– caveats of proximity effect:
1. Third variable: shared interests.
-Greater proximity often = shared interests, so it might not be only proximity that leads to proximity effects
2. Proximity effects occur mostly when original
evaluation of a person is neutral
-if you hate someone it’s unlikely that being around them more will increase liking
3. If similarity is very low, proximity can increase
negative feelings
Similarity
– Sharing interests, attitudes, values, and background (attitudes being most important)
– Perceived similarity more important than actual similarity
– Why?:
1. We think that people who are similar to us will
also like us, so we are likely to initiate a relationship 2. People who are similar validate our own
characteristics and beliefs
3. We make negative inferences about someone who
disagrees with us on important issues
4. Share activities and interests 5. Better communication 6. Less competition and ego threat (e.g., similarity in
attractiveness)
Reciprocity
– We like others who like us – this is the single most important factor in attraction; it can make up for all the others
– Related to self-fulfilling prophecy – if we believe someone likes us, we behave in more likable ways
Physical Attractiveness
– What’s attractive in men: large eyes, prominent cheekbones, large chin, big smile
– What’s attractive in women: large eyes, small nose, small chin, big smile
– Symmetry: placement and size of features is similar on both sides of the face
– Attractive people are thought to be more: Sociable, Extraverted, Popular, Sexual, Happy, Assertive
– Self-fulfilling prophecy (yet again): The beautiful receive a great deal of social attention that helps them develop good social skills
Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love
– Passion = behavioral, motivational component (romance, sexual attraction, desire) — infatuation
– Intimacy = affective, emotional component (bondedness, warmth, sharing) — liking
– Commitment = cognitive component (conscious decision to maintain relationship) — empty love
– Fatuous Love: passion + commitment
– Passionate Love (also called Romantic Love): An intense longing we feel for a person, accompanied by physiological arousal (intimacy + passion)
– Companionate Love: The feelings of intimacy and affection that we have for someone that are not accompanied by passion or physiological arousal (intimacy + commitment)
– Consummate Love: The complete form of love that encompasses passion, intimacy, and commitment (intimacy + commitment + passion)
Attatchment Theory
– Attachment Style: The expectations people develop about relationships with others — based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants
– measure (upon reunion): Proximity seeking, Contact maintaining, Avoidance of proximity and contact, Resistance to contact and comforting
– Our individual attachment style becomes our schema — our expectations about relationships — guide behavior, allowing a person to anticipate and plan for partner responses
– If people had unhappy relationships with their parents, they are not necessarily doomed to repeat this!
– People’s experience in relationships can help them learn new and more healthy ways of relating to others
– People may develop more than one attachment style over time
Attatchment Styles
1. Secure: • Responsive caregivers • Trusting; high satisfaction and commitment • View self as worthy • Have the most enduring, long-term romantic relationships • Highest level of commitment and satisfaction with their relationships
2. Avoidant: • Aloof and distant caregivers; reject intimacy • Desire intimacy but think it will be rejected • Fear rejection; difficulty developing relationships • Least likely to enter into a romantic relationship and the most likely to report never having been in love • Maintain distance in relationships and have the lowest level of commitment
3. Anxious/Ambivalent: • Inconsistent and overbearing caregivers • Anxious; can’t predict how caregiver will respond • More short-term relationships • Have the most short-lived romantic relationships • Enter into romantic relationships the most quickly, often before they know their partners well • The most upset and angriest when their love is not reciprocated
Relationship Satifastiction
– Social Exchange Theory: Feelings about a relationship depend on perceptions of rewards, costs, future outcome expectations, and chances for having a better relationship with someone else
– Relationship satisfaction depends on:
1. Rewards received from the relationship 2. Costs incurred by being in the relationship 3. What one expects to get in a relationship (comparison
level)
4. Probability that a better relationship is available
(comparison level for alternatives)
Social Exchange Theory
– If the relationship was perceived as offering a lot of rewards, partners reported feeling happy and satisfied
– At seven months, couples who were still together believed their rewards had increased over time
– Rewards were always important, but costs became more important over time; higher costs (relative to rewards) = higher dissatisfaction
Investment Model
– Major Problem with Social Exchange Theory: people often stay in relationships where there are few rewards and many obviously better alternatives (e.g., abusive relationships)
– Rusbult’s Investment Model says that we also need to consider a person’s level of investment in the relationship
– Commitment to a relationship depends not only on rewards, costs, comparison level, and comparison level for alternatives, but also on how much a person has invested in a relationship that would be lost by ending it
– Investments include tangible things (money, house) and intangible things (time, energy)
*pic on phone
Equity Theory
– Equity Theory: The idea that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs experienced and both parties’contributions are roughly equal
– Equitable relationships are the happiest and most stable – – In inequitable relationships, one person feels: -Lots of rewards, few costs -Lots of costs, few rewards (worse)
– The more we get to know someone, the more we are more reluctant to believe that we are simply exchanging favors and the less inclined to expect immediate compensation for a favor
– Exchange Relationships: Relationships governed by the need for equity (i.e., for an equal ratio of rewards and costs)
– Communal Relationships: Relationships in which people’s primary concern is being responsive to the other person’s needs
Summation of Chapter
– Four factors that influence interpersonal attraction: (1) proximity, (2) similarity, (3) reciprocity, (4) physical attractiveness
– Three attachment styles: (1) secure, (2) avoidant, (3) anxious/ambivalent
– Three types of love: (1) passionate/romantic, (2) companionate, (3) consummate
– Three models of relationship satisfaction: (1) social exchange theory, (2) investment model, (3) equity theory
propinquity (proximity) effect
the finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends
functional distance
How often people’s paths cross
matching hypothesis
people are most likely to form relationships with individuals of similar level of attractiveness
similarity
a match between our interests, attitudes, values, background, or personality and those of another person
asset matching
each person brings assets into the relationship for an equitable match

ex. girl’s really hot, guy’s really rich

reciprocal liking
just knowing that a person likes us fuels our attraction to that individual
cultural standards of beauty
people from a wide range of cultures agree on what is physically attractive in the human face
communal relationship
a relationship in which the participants expect and desire mutual responsiveness to each other’s needs

(long-term attractions)

equity theory
Social psychological theory that states that people attempt to maintain stable, consistent interpersonal relationships in which the ratio of member’s contributions is balanced.
evolutionary psychology
the attempt to explain social behavior in terms of genetic factors that have evolved over time according to the principles of natural selection
mere exposure effect
people that you’re exposed to more often you’re more likely to be attracted to
halo effects
a cognitive bias by which we tend to assume that an individual with one positive characteristic also possesses other unrelated positive characteristics
i-sharing
we like people who respond similarly to external events, even if from dissimilar backgrounds
need for affiliation
desire to associate with others, to be part of a group, to form close and intimate relationships
need to belong
a motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing, positive interactions
reciprocal liking
attracted to those attracted to us
reward theory of attraction
the theory that we like those whose behavior is rewarding to us or whom we associate with rewarding events
self-expansion
A primary motivation to become more than you are through close relationships which allow the inclusion of the other into yourself
similarity vs. complementarity
similarity- you look for someone similar to you
complementarity- you look for someone to complement you
social validation
the tendency to see actions as more appropriate if others do them
complementarity
the popularly supposed tendency, in a relationship between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the other
which of the following statements about perceptions of physical attractiveness is true?

a) perceivers tend to believe that someone who is attractive also possesses a range of other positive characteristics
b) large cross-cultural differences emerge in terms of what is seen as physically attractive in the human face
c) the more someone looks like us, the less attractive we typically find him or her to be
d) asymmetrical faces are typically viewed as more attractive because they’re so distinctive

A
research indicates that a face’s symmetry is a reliable predictor of how attractive it is seen to be. an evolutionary psychology explanation for this finding would be that

a) symmetrical faces remind us of ourselves and therefore elicit positive feelings
b) symmetry is a sign of health and that a potential mate has good genes
c) “western” cultures place a greater emphasis on physical attractiveness than do “eastern” cultures
d) all of the above

B
research on the influence of mobile phone technology on social interaction indicates that
a) men are more easily distracted by the presence of a mobile phone during a conversation than are women
b) even if a mobile phone isn’t being used during a conversation, it can still pose a distraction that comes at the expense of social engagement
c) contrary to what some critics believe, the availability of mobile phones and smartphones has no negative effect on social engagement
d) while laptops and tablet computers can be distracting during face to face interaction, smartphones are not
B
companionate love
the feelings of intimacy and affection we have for someone that aren’t accompanied by passion or physiological arousal
passionate love
an intense longing we feel for a person, accompanied by physiological arousal
(valued more by american couples than chinese couples)
attachment styles
the expectations people develop about relationships with others based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants
secure attachment style
an attachment style characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned, and the view that one is worthy and well liked
avoidant attachment style
an attachment style characterized by difficulty developing intimate relationships because previous attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed
anxious/ambivalent attachment style
an attachment style characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety
social exchange theory
the idea that people’s feelings about a relationship depend on their perceptions of its rewards and costs, the kind of relationship they deserve, and their chances for having a better relationship with someone else
comparison level
people’s expectations about the level of rewards and costs they are likely to receive in a particular relationship
comparison level for alternatives
people’s expectations about the level of rewards and costs they would receive in an alternative relationship
although her boyfriend treats her well, he always puts her needs first, and doesn’t demand much in the way of relationship effort from her, courtney feels unsatisfied with the relationship because a little voice in her head keeps telling here there must be an even better mate out there for her somewhere. courtney seems to have

a) a high sense of investment
b) a low comparison level for alternatives
c) a low comparison level
d) a high comparison level

D
equity theory suggests that if a relationship is not equitable

a) both the underbenefited and the overbenefited individuals will be unsatisfied with it
b) the overbenefited individual will be satisfied with it
c) it will transition from a communal relationship to an exchange relationship
d) both the underbenefited and the overbenefited will still be satisfied with it

A
which of the following is an example of an intrapersonal stage to relationship discussion

a) the couple decides to get back together
b) one member of the couple thinks a lot about his or her relationship dissatisfaction
c) the breakup is announced to other people
d) one member of the couple discusses the potential breakup with the other person

B
research on fatal attactions suggests that

a) heterosexual couples are more likely than homosexual couples to remain friends after a breakup
b) constructive behaviors help a relationship more than destructive behaviors harm it
c) the same qualities that first draw us to a person can, with time, become qualities that contribute to breaking up
d) so-called “mutual” breakups are often the most emotionally disruptive type of relationship dissolution

C
which of the following is false?

a) people like others who like them
b) people find “average” faces to be more attractive than unusual faces
c) the more we see and interact with people, the more we will like them
d) people in communal relationships tend to keep track of who is contributing what to the relationship

D
Katie and Madeline are dating. According to the investment model of close relationships, which of the following will influence their commitment to the relationship?

a) their satisfaction with the relationship
b) the level of investment in the relationship
c) the availability and quality of alternative partners
d) all of the above

D
Marquel and eric have been friends since the beginning of the school year. according to equity theory, their friendship will suffer if

a) eric and marquel stop having similar interests
b) eric and marquel are romantically interested in the same person
c) eric is much more likely to help marquel out when he needs it than marquel is to help eric
d) eric has a “makeover” and suddenly becomes far more attractive than marquel

C
elliot worries that his girlfriend doesn’t love him and he smothers her with attention. according to attachment theory, elliot probably has a(n) _______ attachment style, because when he was an infant, his caregivers were _______________

a) avoidant; aloof and distant
b) communal; smothering but very open
c) anxious/ambivalent; inconsistent and overbearing
d) secure; responsive to his needs

C
you’re considering breaking up with your significant other after 1 month of dating. while the relationship gives you lots of rewards and has few costs, you’ve recently met someone new whom you anticipate will give you even more rewards for even fewer costs. your dilemma stems from the fact that you have a ________ and a ______

a) high comparison level; high comparison level for alternatives
b) low comparison levels; low comparison level for alternatives
c) high comparison level; low equity level
d) low comparison level; high comparison level for alternatives

A
affiliation
The desire to seek the company of others.
social support
Our involvement in social activities and our perception that we can count on others for help.
stress-buffering effect
The tendency for people who enjoy high levels of social support to be better able to withstand stress than people with low levels of social support.
loneliness
A distressing emotional state caused by a lack of meaningful interpersonal relationships.
proximity effect
The tendency to feel emotionally close to those who are physically near.
social exchange theory
A theory of interpersonal relationships that holds that people have certain goods they bring to the interpersonal marketplace and that they strive to get as much in return for these goods as they can.
reciprocity principle
A tendency to like others who like us.
balance theory
A social psychological theory that asserts that people strive to maintain cognitive balance in their interpersonal relationships. Balance is maintained when people are associated with things they like and disassociated with things they don’t like.
assortative mating
A tendency for two people who are married to be similar to each other on a variety of physical and psychological variables.
companionate love
A deep, abiding attachment, characterized by feelings of caring, affection, and respect.
passionate love
An intense emotional state, involving sexual desire, feelings of ecstasy, and perhaps anguish.
outcome level (OL)
In Kelley and Thibaut’s (1978) interdependence model, the relative balance of benefits and costs that one obtains in a relationship.
comparison level (CL)
In Kelley and Thibaut’s (1978) interdependence model, the minimum outcome level one finds satisfactory.
comparison level of alternatives (CLalt)
In Kelley and Thibaut’s (1978) interdependence model, the outcome level one believes one could obtain in alternative relationships.
investments
In Rusbult’s (1980, 1983) investment model, tangible and intangible things one has put into a relationship that would be lost if the relationship were dissolved.
equity theory
A social exchange theory that asserts that people seek and are most satisfied with an interpersonal relationship when their own benefits/costs ratio equals their partner’s benefits/costs ratio.
exchange relationships
Relationships in which members give with an expectation that they will receive a comparable benefit in the near future.
communal relationships
Relationships in which members pledge to be responsive to one another’s needs without keeping track of whether their own costs match their benefits.
relationship superiority bias
A tendency to assume that one’s own romantic relationship is better than other people’s.
According to evolutionary psychologists, which of the following explains why people are helpful?
Reciprocal altruism
According to Baston’s research, feelings of personal distress promote helping primarily when…
escape from the situation is difficult
In testing Swann’s self-verification theory, Bernichon found that …
both self esteem groups prefer to interact with someone who likes them more than with someone who dislikes them, but this is especially true of low self esteem people.
According to Tesser’s self-evaluation maintenance model, we want our partners to do well on tasks of low self-relevance so that we can…
bask in the reflected glory of our partners’ achievements
Cialdini’s negative state relief models of helping is primarily motivated by…
egoistic concerns
Social integration seems to have a___ effect on health, whereas the benefits of perceived emotional support____.
Direct effect;
emerge primarily under stress.
Research on similarity and attraction suggests that…
during the early stages of a relationship, dissimilarity is more important than similarity.
Which are the three components of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.
Intimacy, Passion and Commitment
Nina sees a child take a nasty spill off her bike. Seeing that no one else is alarmed, She decides the situation is not an emergency. Nina’s perception illustrates…
pluralistic ignorance
Which of the following is TRUE about men and sexual violence, according to the text?
Men who are prone to commit acts of sexual violence begin having sex at an early age.
According to the ethological view of aggression…
modern weaponry increases aggression circumventing natural inhibitors.
Which of the following statements is true of gender differences in jealousy…
Men are more concerned with sexual infidelity than women are.
What aspect of infidelity are both sexes most concerned with?
emotional infidelity.
Which of the following statements best summarizes research on the social modeling of aggression (as demonstrated with the Bobo doll)?
Children imitate aggression only if a model is reinforced at least some of the time.
According to Hatfield and Bercheid, Passionate Love….
is intense physiological arousal and the benefit that this arousal was triggered by the beloved person.
Corporal Punishment (spanking) …
has short term benefits but is a liability in the long run.
According to the ORIGINAL Frustration-Aggression hypothesis…
Aggression is ALWAYS the result of Frustration
helping
A prosocial behavior intended to alleviate another person’s distress.
egoism
A philosophical doctrine that maintains that people always act out of self-interest.
altruism
The act of helping others without regard to whether one will derive any sort of personal benefit.
kin selection
An egoistic form of helping in which people help their kin in order to pass along their genes to the next generation.
reciprocal “altruism”
An egoistic form of helping in which people who helped others were more apt to receive help and thereby pass their genes on to the next generation.
group selection
Mechanism operating as part of natural selection whereby groups with helpful individuals were more apt to survive, and those who helped were rewarded by being allowed to mate more freely.
personal distress
An egoistic emotional reaction to another person’s state of need, characterized by feelings of alarm, discomfort, and uneasiness.
sympathy
An other-directed emotional reaction to another person’s state of need, characterized by feelings of concern, compassion, and tenderness.
empathy
The capacity to take the perspective of another person.
bystander effect
The tendency for the presence of other people to inhibit helping.
pluralistic ignorance
A social psychological phenomenon that occurs when people misread other people’s behaviors and assume their own thoughts and feelings are unique.
diffusion-of-responsibility effect
The belief that we don’t need to help in an emergency because other people will do so.
volunteerism
Long-term planned helping that usually takes place in an organizational setting.
aggression
Behavior intended to physically or psychologically harm another person.
hostile aggression
Reactive aggression, fueled by anger, whose ultimate aim is to inflict injury on another person.
instrumental aggression
Proactive aggression in which aggression is a means to an end.
catharsis hypothesis
Hypothesis that states that aggressive needs can be satisfied by exhibiting or witnessing aggression.
Revised frustration-aggression hypothesis
Hypothesis that states that frustration always produces anger and often leads to aggression.
hostility
The propensity for an individual to become angry and act aggressively.
hostile attribution bias
A tendency to assume that provocation is intentional.
excitation transfer theory
Theory that states that arousal generated from one stimulus can “spill over” and intensify an emotional reaction to a different stimulus.
deindividuation
A diminished state of self-awareness that can arise when individuals become part of a group.
bullying
A persistent pattern of behavior in which one person intentionally abuses another by means of verbal taunts or acts of teasing, physical assaults, deliberate exclusion from social activities, or attempts to sabotage his or her social relationships by spreading malicious gossip and rumors
rape myths
Prevalent attitudes and beliefs about the nature of rape that serve to justify and excuse male sexual aggression against women.
belief in a just world
The tendency to blame people for their misfortunes because of the belief that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people.
displacement
Aggression directed against a person who is not the source of our anger.
sublimation
Aggression released in socially acceptable ways.
Change in behavior; conforming to the expectations of others
Social influence
Changing one’s behavior due to the real or imagined influences of others
Conformity
What is the key of social influence?
Ambiguity and the need to know what’s right
We conform because we believe that others’ interpretations of an ambiguous situation is more accurate than ours and will help us choose an appropriate course of action
Informational Social Influence
Muzafer Sherif (1936)
Ask how far light moves; auto-kinetic effect; private acceptance; Informational social influence
When ppl conform to the behavior of others because they genuinely believe that these other people are right
Private acceptance
Conforming publicly w/o necessarily believing in what the group is saying or doing
public compliance
rapid spread of emotions or behaviors through a crowd
contagion
an example of contagion would be?
Orson Wells’ alien invasion
the occurrence in a group of ppl of similar physical symptoms w/ no known cause
mass psychogenic illness
The following is an example of ____: everyone gets nauseous because one teacher said they thought they felt sick because they smelled gas
mass psychogenic illness
When will people conform to informational social influence?
when the situation is ambiguous, when the situation is a crisis, and when other ppl are experts
Normative social influence involves the need to be ____________.
Accepted
Implicit or explicit rules a group has for acceptance behaviors, values, and beliefs of its members
Social norms
Occurs when the influence of other ppl leads us to conform to be liked and accepted of them; results in public compliance w/ group’s beliefs and behaviors but not necessarily in private acceptance
Normative social influence
Bibb Latené’s (1981)
Social impact theory
Idea that conforming to social influence depends upon the strength of the group’s importance, it’s immediacy (physical proximity), and the number of people in group (after about 3 effect begins to wear off)
Social impact theory
tolerance a person earns over time, by conforming to group norms; if enough tolerance is earned a person can occasionally behave deviantly w/o retribution from the group
Idiosyncrasy credits
Minority of group members influences the behavior or beliefs of the majority
minority influence
getting ppl to behave in ways they wouldn’t normally behave
influence
Cialdini
injunctive and descriptive norms
what we think other people approve or disapprove of; motivates behavior by promising rewards (or punishments) for performing normative (or non normative) behavior
injunctive norms
Our perceptions of the way ppl actually behave in a given situation, regardless of whether the behavior is approved or disapproved by others; motivates behavior by informing ppl about what is effective or adaptive behavior
Descriptive norms
A _______ norm is what most ppl in a culture approve or disapprove of; a ________ norm is what ppl actually do
injunctive; descriptive
Ex: Some students find out how much other students on campus are drinking and increase their alcohol intake to match the average
Boomerang effect
Asch (1951)
line experiment; length of lines; 78% conformed at least once
Berns et. al. (2005)
fMRI research; amygdala (areas devoted to negative emotions) are activated in response to disagreement among majority
Schacter (1951)
How groups respond to individuals who violate norms; started to ignore group member & tried to eliminate from group
Anderson (1992)
Ideal body image in women; in developing regions heavier women are considered more attractive and visa versa
Crandall (1988)
Normative influence in sorority; norm for binge eating; popularity based on how you fit norm
Pope (1999)
Analyzed G.I. Joe from 1964 to 1998; measure chest, waist, and biceps
Moscovici (1985)
Minority influence
Consists of 3 or more ppl who interact and are interdependent in the sense that their needs and goals cause them to influence each other
Group
Why do people join groups?
Survival and safety; belonging; help us define ourselves
What are 2 reasons for homogeneity of groups?
Many groups tend to attract people who are already similar before they join; groups tend to operate in ways that encourage similarity in members
Shared expectations in a group about how particular ppl are supposed to believe
social rules
What is a benefit of norms?
ppl know what to expect from each other
What is a negative of norms?
ppl may lose personal identities and personalities
The qualities of a group that bind members together and promote mutual liking; great for social situations
Group cohesiveness
Presence of others can mean one of two things…
1) Performing a task in front of an audience that is just observing. 2) Performing a task w/ coworkers who are doing the same things you are.
What are the 3 theories to explain role of arousal in social facilitation?
1) other ppl cause us to become particularly alert and vigilant 2) they make us apprehensive about how we’re being evaluated 3) they distract us from the task at hand
What is social loafing?
Tendency for ppl to relax when they’re in the presence of others and their individual performance cannot be evaluated, such that they do worse on simple tasks, but better on complex tasks
___________ caused by the presence of other people watching you
arousal
The tendency for ppl to do better on simple tasks and worse on complex tasks when they are in the presence of other ppl and their individual performance can be evaluated
Social facilitation
_____________ are less likely to engage in social loafing when in groups.
Women
Tendency to loaf is stronger in ___________ cultures.
Western
Loosening of normal constraints on behavior when ppl cannot be identified; makes ppl feel less accountable; increased obedience to group norms
Deindividuation
Any aspect of group interaction that inhibits good problem solving; failure to share unique info
Process loss
Combined memory of two ppl that’s more efficient than the memory of either individuals
Transactive memory
Kind of thinking in which maintaining group cohesiveness and solidarity is more important than thinking through facts in a realistic matter
Groupthink
How do you avoid groupthink?
1) Remain impartial 2) Seek outside opinions 3) Create subgroups 4) Seek anonymous opinions
Tendency for groups to make decisions that are more extreme than the initials inclination of its members
group polarization
an outcome to a conflict whereby parties make trade-offs on issues according to their different interests; each side concedes the most on issues that are unimportant to it but are important to the other side
integrative solution
Baumeister and Leary (1995)
Evolutionary past; survival advantage in groups; innate
Haney, Banks, and Zimbardo (1973)
Stanford prison study; norms and social roles
Zajonc (1969)
Cockroaches; social facilitation and the presence of others
Triplett (1898)
Children w/ fishing line; testing social facilitation
Latene, Williams, and Harkims (1979)
social loafing
Mullen (1986)
Newspapers and lynching; deindividuation
Janis (1972)
Groupthink
People who interact with most often are the most likely to become your friends and lovers
The propinquity effect
Leon Festinger, Schacter, and Back (1950)
The propinquity effect; friendship and apartment complexes (living near the stairs); functional distance
More exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it
Mere exposure effect
According to Theodore Newcomb, the more similar a person’s opinions are to yours…
the more you will like them
We are attracted to people whose _________ style and communication skills are similar to ours
Interpersonal styles
What did Amodio and Showers (2005) find in their study?
If participants want a committed relationship they chose a very similar partner; if participants want a low level commitment relationship they favor dissimilar partners
Gold, Ryckman, and Mosley (1984)
Young woman expressed interest in male research participants by simply maintaining eye contact, leaning towards them, and listening intently; men expressed great liking for her despite the fact they knew she disagreed with them about important issues
Elaine Hatfield and colleagues and Feingold (1990)
Both sexes value physical attractiveness, but males value a bit more
Michael Cunningham (1986)
What do we find attractive? Large eyes, high cheekbones, and big smiles.
How people feel about their relationships will depend upon: Their perception of the rewards they receive from the relationship, their perception of the costs, and their perception of what kind of relationship they deserve and the probability that they could have a better relationship with someone else (Reward, cost, outcome, and comparison level)
Social exchange theory
What you expect the outcome of your relationship to be in terms of costs and rewards
Comparison level
Your perception of the likelihood that you could replace your relationship with a better one
Comparison level for alternatives
Ppl aren’t just out to get the most rewards for the least cost, ppl are also concerned with equity in relationships; equal give and get
Equity theory
Bulby and Aimsworth
Attachment theory
What does it mean to be avoidant?
aloof, inconsistent
What does it mean to be anxious/ambivalent?
worried ppl won’t reciprocate affection
Consists of feelings of intimacy and affection we have for someone that aren’t accompanied by passion or physiological arousal; valued more in Eastern cultures
Companionate love
Involves an intense longing for another person, characterized by the experience of physiological arousal; valued more by Americans
Passionate love
Elaine Hatfield and Sprecher (1986)
Developed questionnaire to measure passionate love
According to the evolutionary approach to love, what attracts men and what attracts women?
Men are attracted to a woman’s appearance; women are attracted to a man’s resources.
Caryl Rusbult (1983)
Investment model of close relationships
defines investments as anything ppl have put into a relationship that will be lost if they leave the relationship; involves rewards, costs, and comparison level
investment model
Clark and Mills (1993)
Exchange relationships and communal relationships; equity in long-term relationships
Relationships governed by the need for equity; ex: like to be repaid immediately for favors
Exchange relationships
Ppl give in response to other’s needs, regardless of whether they are paid back
Communal relationships
Basic assumptions of interdependence theory
structure (the situation)
transformation
interaction
adaptation
Interdependence theory
between person relations
roots in social exchange theory and game theory
tools include matrices (prisoners dilemma)
transition lists
comparison level
standard against which all one’s other
relationships of that type are judged (i.e., social comparison).
o (based on the product of all past experiences and relationships of that
given type)
can be shaped by imagined relationships
comparison level for alternatives
standard used to decide
whether to stay in the relationship or to leave.
o lowest level of one is willing to accept given the availability of alternative
outcomes.
o affected not only by alternatives in that given domain, but other opportunities outside this context (i.e., being alone means more time for me)
satisfaction level
degree to which relationship is experienced as satisfying
o if outcomes exceed CL then one feels satisfied
o if outcomes falls below the CL then one feels unsatisfied
dependence level
Degree to which an individual relies on a
relationship for the fulfilment of important needs.
o explains the effects of CL-alt.
o when outcomes exceed CL-alt the individual is more dependent.
(i.e., dependence of romantic relationship is lower and chances for break- up is higher if attractive alternatives exist).
o when outcomes are above the CL-alt the individual is more dependent (i.e., the exploited worker).
voluntary dependence
when a person’s outcomes exceed their CL and CL-alt.
if outcomes moderately exceed CL-alt but greatly exceed CL, then the individual is satisfied and moderately dependent.
o if outcomes moderately exceed CL but greatly exceed CL-alt (CL fall under CL-alt), then the individual is moderately satisfied but highly dependent.
o if CL exceeds outcomes and CL-alt then this is termed non-voluntary dependence.
six dimensions of situational structure
1. LEVEL OF DEPENDENCE – level to which an individual is dependent on the partner’s actions and on joint activities

2.MUTUALITY OF DEPENDENCE – degree to which partners are mutually rather than unilaterally dependent

3. BASIS OF DEPENDENCE – degree to which the dependence relies on joint versus partner control (Behavioural Control, BC vs Fate Control, FC)

4. COVARIATION OF INTERESTS – degree to which partners’ preferences for joint outcomes correspond as oppose to conflict

5. TEMPORAL STRUCTURE – the dynamic and sequential aspect of relationships

6. INFORMATION AVAILABILITY – the degree of information that is accessible and known about a relationship partner

level of dependence
dependence for person A is high when their action control (Reflexive Control, RC) is low and their partner’s control (FC) and joint control (BC) over A’s outcomes are high

so dependency can be elaborated in that individuals are more dependent to the extent that they cannot unilaterally guarantee themselves good outcomes, and therefore, rely on partner’s actions for fulfilment of important needs

Mutuality of dependence
balanced power, thus exploitation is reduced

negative emotions are less likely

symmetrical dependence should be associated with enhanced stability of on-going relationship

suggested to be associated with superior couple adjustment

basis of dependence
degree to which the dependence relies on joint
versus partner control (BC vs FC)

relationships high in FC are regarded as other-controlled

relationships high in FC are prone to the use of threats, promises and other forms of agreement

relationships high in BC are jointly controlled (therefore joint dependence) – how can we co-ordinate our actions so that we both achieve rewards?

but high BC can lead to free-loading or contributing little while still collecting profits

covariation of interests
degree to which partners’ preferences for
joint outcomes correspond as oppose to conflict

can involve similar or complementary behaviour (i,e., division of labour).

correspondence determines whether individuals will see themselves as working with one another, against one another, whether they are partners or opponents

therefore, non-correspondent relationships involve suspicion, distrust or even hostile attitudes amidst partners

temporal structure
the dynamic and sequential aspect of relationships

as a result of a certain interaction, certain future behaviours, outcomes or situations may become more or less tenable (there is a transition in the list of behaviours available in future time, aka transition list)

relationships consist of interactions that vary in how long they last- extended situations – involve various steps before reaching a goal or outcome

transition from one situation into another often involves bringing another into a situation in which the behavioural options and/or outcomes available differ to the previous situation; we often do this in a tactical way – situation selection

Information availability
the degree of information that is accessible and known about a relationship partner

information about relationship partners is important in understanding how to behave with them – information around needs, goals, motives, and opportunities that can arise is essential

lack of such information can be risky as it creates uncertainty on how to act, putting oneself or relationship partner in a vulnerable situation

as a result,people are motivated to learn much about another

Given Matrices
Refers to preferences based on immediate self- interest, self-centred preferences (part of the transformation process)
Effective matrix
Redefined set of preferences closely linked to actual behaviour. A variety of motives shape transformation behaviour – MaxOther, MaxJoint, MaxMinDiff, MaxRel

(part of the transformation process)

underlying factors to transformation from the given to effective matrix
outcomes for the self
outcomes for the interacting partner
factors that enhance commitment
satisfaction
dependence
(relationship investments)
Investment model of commitment
commitment level is equal to:
satisfaction level
quality of alternatives
investment size
maintenance mechanisms (commitment model)
accommodative behaviour
willingness to sacrifice
forgiveness
derogation of alternatives
positive illusion

leads to couple wellbeing (persistence adjustment)

relationship maintenance mechanisms
The means by which partners sustain long-term well-functioning relationship. These can be regarded as adaptations and relate to interpersonal orientations:

– problem-based solutions based on pro-relationship transformations

– serve to maintain a relationship in the face of uncertainty, positive alternatives and non-correspondent outcomes

– are associated with personal costs (e.g., enact undesirable behaviour, modify cognitive representations)

specific commitment mechanisms
1. behavioural maintenance acts: Changing behaviour

2. cognitive maintenance acts: Mental restructuring

Behavioural maintenance acts: Changing behaviour
ACCOMMODATIVE BEHAVIOUR:
Inclination to inhibit destructive tendencies and react in a constructive manner to partner’s destructive behaviour
– greater the commitment, the greater the accommodation
o unique contribution above and beyond, satisfaction, alternatives and
investments
o often mediated by perspective taking, empathic accuracy, benign attribution
o generally leads to pro-relationship behaviour

WILLINGNESS TO SACRIFICE DIRECT SELF INTEREST
. Either by:
forgoing behaviours that are desirable,
enacting behaviours others would find desirable, or both
again driven by commitment above all else leads to benefit the relationship long-term

FORGIVENESS OF BETRAYAL (or violation of an implicit or explicit relationship-specific norm):
The desire to forego retribution and acting in less judgmental constructive way.
Commitment results in a greater tendency to forgive, even when controlling for recency and severity of betrayal

Cognitive maintenance acts: Mental restructuring
FORGOING TEMPTING ALTERNATIVES:
Acts/symbols of commitment (e.g. wedding ring) indicate to others not on offer
may also derogate alternatives (minimise alternative partners attributes and abilities).
committed people do this more
o committed people also spend less time attending to tempting alternatives
o these tactics are motivated in the face of threat. The more tempting the alternative, the greater the derogation for committed individuals

POSITIVE ILLUSION: Developing idealised beliefs about partner and relationship
– sustained ideas of the partner as very positive: Turning faults into virtues
– perceived superiority (social comparison): Higher on superiority, greater number of positive thoughts and less negative thoughts about relationship

EXCESSIVE OPTIMISM: The relationship is doing better than most
– unrealistic perceptions of control: More control over relationships than others

COGNITIVE INTERDEPENDENCE: Movement from viewing the self as a collective representation of partner-and-self, rather than just individual-based
– committed individuals talk more in terms of “we” and “ours” rather than
less committed individuals who talk more in terms of “I” and “mine”
– assumed that this collective view promotes pro-relationship behaviour
– cognitive interdependence likely to be associated with MaxJoint transformation

Standards for evaluating relationship quality
comparison level
comparison level for alternatives
dependence level
satisfaction level
The principle of structure
Understanding interdependence features of a situation are essential to understanding psychological process (motives, cognition, and affect), behavior, and social interaction.

The features are formalized in a taxonomy of situations, which are degree of dependence, mutuality of dependence, covariation of interest, basis of dependence, temporal structure, and information availability

The principle of transformation (what people make of “the situation”)
Interaction situations may be subject to transformations by which individualist consider consequences of own (and other’s) behavior in terms outcomes for self and others and in terms of immediate and future consequences. Transformation is a psychological process that is guided by interaction goals, which may be accompanied and supported by affective, cognitive and motivational processes.
The principle of interaction: SABI: I = f (A, B, S)
Interaction is a function of two persons (persons A and B) and (objective properties) of the situation.

The situation may activate particular motives, cognitive, and affective experiences in persons A and B, which ultimately through their mutual responses in behavior yield a particular pattern of interaction.

The principle of adaptation
Repeated social interaction experiences yield adaptations that are reflected in relatively stable orientations to adopt particular transformations.

These adaptations are probabilistic and reflect
(a) differences in orientation between people across partners and situations (dispositions),
(b) orientations that people adopt to a specific interaction partner (relationship-specific orientations), and
(c) rule-based inclinations that are shared by many people within a culture to respond to a particular classes of situation in a specific manner (social norms).

Action (reflexive) control
– The ability to obtain good outcomes, irrespective of one’s partner actions.
The degree of independence
Partner (Fate) control
unilateral determination of the other’s good outcomes.
Joint (Behavioural) control
both partners have control over good outcomes
explain why the six dimensions of interdependence relations are critical in influencing relationships
Increasing dependence tends to cause increased attention to situations and partners, more careful and differentiated cognitive activity, and perseverance in interaction.

Dependence affords thoughts and motives centering on comfort versus discomfort with dependence and independence.

For example, high dependence situations will activate Mary’s trait-based reluctance to rely on others, her discomfort with dependence will strongly shape her behavior, and her discomfort will be particularly evident to others; in low dependence situations, this trait will be less visible and less relevant for her behavior.

function of emotions
we need them to experience preferences, desires, sorrows

we need them to ensure we care about ourselves and others

From an evolutionary standpoint:
− jealousy has a mate-guarding function
− anger signals needs and desire have been blocked and motivates
an attack to remove the block

Problems occur when cultural/relationship norms limit the expression of certain emotions

basic prototype emotions
love,
joy/happiness,
sadness,
anger,
fear,
surprise
appraisal of interruptive events
motivational relevance (does it matter?)
motivational congruence (is it harmful or helpful to me?)

If the event is relevant to our goals and plans the emotion system will activate, arousing and motivating us to take action.

As a couple becomes more interdependent they are increasingly vulnerable to interruption.

The more enmeshed a couple is the less interruption, and consequently emotion, they may experience on a daily basis.

This will lead to less negative emotion but to increase positive emotion engineered interruptions that remove obstacles to partner goals or facilitate their completion can foster positive emotions

novelty
perceived cause
legitimacy
perceived controllability

Hurtful events
appraised as unexpected, effortful, difficult to understand
lack of caring
relationship devaluing (cry and withdraw)
Sadness (events)
low unexpectedness
low in control
perceived loss
seek comfort
Anger (events)
unjust, within partner control
expression of positive emotions
broaden and build individuals

people become more expansive and engage with the world and those around them
motivates people to further engage

positive emotions help to build intellectual, psychological and physical resources which strengthen social relationships
o problem-solving skills; strength and solidarity

positive emotions help to facilitate recovery from stressful events

happy relationships are associated with the expression of more positive than negative emotions – the ratio of positive to negative emotions expressed is 5:1

o happy couples seem to be skilled at de-escalating situations that can result in the expression of negative emotions

happy couples foster a culture of appreciation

happy couples share positive emotions with one another and enjoy enhancing each other’s experiences of happiness

assumptions in the function of emotions
1. communicate needs to oneself and to others

2. communicate how much we care about own needs to oneself and others

3. relationships can be distinguished by the extent that people feel responsible for their partner’s needs and thus, they’re emotional well-
being

4. relationships can be distinguished by the extent that people think others are responsible for their needs and thus, they’re emotional well- being (e.g., attachment avoidance mental model relates to the extent others care)

The degree to which we think others will respond to our needs and the degree that we feel responsible for other’s needs will lead to greater emotional expression

Relationship types
COMMUNAL: Members feel obliged to demonstrate concern for the welfare of another – they are non-contingent
o thus, benefits are provided to meet partner needs or to express concern
o the caregiver does not expect anything in return

EXCHANGE: No responsibility for another’s welfare, but rather benefits are provided and received on the expectation of being repaid. These relationships are low on communal orientation and thus are non- communal

Expression of emotions – communal/exchange
Research suggests people in (or desiring) a communal relationship shun behaviours suggestive of an exchange norm

– repaying someone for something they did reduces positivity toward another in communal, but not exchange relationships

– in contrast, people who are exchange minded will look after the welfare of another if they expect reciprocation

– expression of emotions should be more frequent (and more functional) in communal than non-communal (i.e., exchange relationships)

communal orientation
Higher communal orientation
relates to greater tendency to feel responsible for others needs
o helping fellow students in non-emergency situations
o agreement that support has taken place amongst friends
o willingness to express emotions to partners when context calls for it
o allocating rewards equally to friends
o giving credit as well as taking blame on joint tasks
exchange orientation
Higher exchange orientation
relates to tendency to want reciprocity and equity

o marital satisfaction tied to equity
lower marital satisfaction
o lower compatibility with peers
o lower friendship ratings
o higher anxiety amongst friendship pairs

emotional expression intensity
Numerous studies demonstrate that emotions are more frequently and intensely expressed in communal compared to non-communal
relationships

Generally, people seem to:
– suppress negative emotions in low communal relationships

– more willing to express positive emotions in communal relationships

– express more emotions when feel that people should be concerned about each others needs
– more communal

more emotional expression

emotional responding
Reacting Positively to Other’s Emotional Expressions Due to Feelings of Responsibility Over Another’s Needs
• Studies demonstrate that emotions are more likely to be responded to in communal relationships

Generally, people seem to:

– express emotions more frequently and intensely in communal relationships due to the regularity with which their needs will be met (i.e., the caregiver/”other” reacts to the emotion in a validating way)

emotions in exchange relationships
The use of high emotional expression in exchange relationships seems problematic:

– exchange relationships are based more on an economic transactional basis, thus emotions are not so central

– in exchange relationships, concern in meeting other’s needs is not a priority

– thus, one can become an exploited target as emotions communicate one’s needs and vulnerabilities

– consequently, people can take advantage of one’s weaknesses

– regardless of relationship or individual factors, people generally know not to express too much in non-communal relationships

– too much expression in non-communal relationships is judged as inappropriate and the person is unlikely to have their needs met

– it is judged as inappropriate and the personal is unlikely to have their needs met

emotions in relationships
• The experience and expression of emotions by the caregiver signifies their need and want to help. But…

• Feeling and expressing emotions in turn communicates to the needy partner the care and concern of the caregiver
– …this strengthen relationships

Love
the desire to interact,
trust
arousal.
Two classes of love
– passionate/romantic love: An intense emotional state and confusion of feelings such as tenderness, elation, pain, relief, altruism, jealousy, sexuality and elation

– companionate love: Less intense in emotion, but combines feelings of affection and deep attachment while maintaining a deep sense of care and concern for another

self expansion model
Individuals have a fundamental drive to develop and expand their sense of self- who they are and how they fit in the social world

– falling in love facilitates self-expansion as developing a relationship with another brings forth new experiences and changes in the self- concept

– self-concept can take on a dyadic aspect, people in relationship begin to talk in terms of the “we” rather than “I”

– Linda Acitelli (2002) calls this “relationship talk” – an awareness that our sense of self is tied in relational terms

Biology of love
Physiological research shows that love is associated with the pleasure systems of the brain

– release of neurotransmitters associated with pleasure (dopamine and oxytocin – trigger happiness, euphoria and sexual arousal)

– release of neurotransmitters associated with stress (cortisol – associated with fight and flight responses)

Interpersonal model of intimacy
a dyadic process involving one partner engaging in self- disclosure, while the other partner responds to the disclosure in a sensitive manner

– cross-sectional and longitudinal research supports this model.

Greater mutual disclosure and responsiveness is associated with:
o greater closeness
o greater intimacy
o greater satisfaction

Eros – passionate love
love is an all consuming emotional experience. Love at first sight is typical and physical love is essential
Storge – friendship or companionate love
love is a comfortable intimacy that slowly grows out of companionship, mutual sharing and self disclosure. A best friend lover is thoughtful, warm and companionate
Ludus – game-playing love
This person plays at love as others play tennis or chess to enjoy the love game and win it
No relationship lasts for long, usually ending when the partner becomes boring or too serious
Mania – possessive love
the possessive lover is emotionally intense, jealous, obsessed with their beloved. The possessive lover is highly dependent on the beloved and fears rejection

Explained by anxious attachment

Pragma – logical love
This is love shopping for a suitable mate and all it asks is that the relationship work well and the two partners be compatible and that they satisfy each other’s basic needs. Seeks contentment rather than excitement

explained by avoidant attachment style

Agape – selfless altruistic love
This style of love is unconditionally caring, giving and forgiving. Love means a duty to give to the loved one with no strings attached

explained by secure attachment

Sternbergs triangle of love
Three components – passion, commitment and intimacy

various combinations lead to 8 love types
no love, infatuation, empty love, liking, fatuous love, romantic love, companionate love, consummate love

Trust
The degree to which an individual can count on a romantic partner to meet needs and assist in the achievement of goals

Three interlocking components:
Person A
Person B
engaging in a behaviour

founded on a coordinated system of behaviour and outcomes in the past

Two components of trust
– faith: being confident the partner will always be available and supportive in the future

– dependability: being able to rely on the partner for love and support during challenging times

Uncertainty of trust
• Relationships run into trouble when individuals are uncertain of whether to trust their partners

– look for cues of rejection and acceptance
– create situations to test a partner’s love and commitment
– experience greater emotional highs and lows

Impact of relationship trust
• Relationships fare well when interpersonal trust exists
– optimistic and benevolent expectations of partner motives
– more positive attributions regarding partner’s behaviour
– well-balanced and integrative perception of partner
– downplay minor partner transgressions
– during conflict, display more PA and less NA
Predictors of commitment
Levinger (1965) proposed a cohesiveness model of commitment:
Strength of attraction and strength of barriers preventing leaving a relationship determine commitment. (Model wasn’t prominent – no measure)

o attraction factors: Companionship, sexual enjoyments, socioeconomic rewards, similar social status…

o barriers: Obligation, external social pressures (i.e., divorce stigma), financial constraints, family constraints…

Structure of commitment
Johnson (1973, 1982, 1991) partitioned commitment into 3 types:

i. personal commitment – positive attraction to a partner and relationship

ii. moral commitment – a sense of duty, obligation or responsibility based on a person’s values and morals

iii. structural commitment – factors that make it costly to leave the relationship, e.g., financial loss, filial loss, lack of alternatives

Stanley and Markum structure of commitment
Stanley and Markman (1992) model shares qualities with Johnson’s conception.
Commitment comprises:

dedication – forces that motivate a person to build and maintain the relationship – interpersonal commitment

constraint – forces that hold the person in the relationship even if satisfaction and dedication wane

perceived constraint – internal/external forces that encourage partners to stay together (e.g., social pressure, quality of life)

material constraint – investment of tangible resources

felt constraint – personal appraisal of how investments and barriers to leaving affect whether relationship continues

commitment in relationships
General assumption is that higher personal commitment results in higher levels of satisfaction

people generally report personal commitment to be higher than moral and structural commitment

Commitment also seems to be strongly linked to relationship satisfaction and stability to support the general assumption

components of relationship quality
satisfaction
intimacy
trust
love
passion
commitment
What is social support
resources provided to another by significant others in times of need/adversity
Drawing on attachment theory, list and describe the two types of social support that individuals seek, and under what situations are these forms of support best appreciated?
Safe haven – the provision of emotional and/or physical comfort and reassurance best appreciated in situations of need and distress

Secure base – encouraging autonomy and expressing confidence in one’s abilities, best appreciated when one needs to confidently pursue goals

What reasons are proposed to understand the negative effects of visible support?
Negative affects of visible support may make the other feel less competent (lower self-esteem), make you aware that others notice your distress (loss of face),
may put the other in a one-down situation (negative effect disappears if the support is reciprocated),
support may refocus attention on the problem (increase rumination and distress)
What reasons are proposed to understand the positive effects of invisible support?
Positive effects of invisible support may not be perceived as questioning one’s competence, unlikely to draw awareness to own distress.
What benefits do visible support coupled with responsiveness yield for relationship partners?
visible support with responsiveness results in positive affect and increased relationship quality
Describe Gable and colleagues (2004, 2006) capitalisation theory of social support.
Capitalisation – the process of drawing on another’s positive reactions to ones achievements and life satisfaction, enhances positive affect and life satisfaction
Explain how the manner in which:
(a) support is provided and
(b) the extent to which a partner is ready for change,
influences the effectiveness of social support with an emphasis on social control.
Social control that is positive (reinforcing) in nature and direct is more effective than negative (guilt induction) or indirect (hinting), bilateral (working together) or unilateral (nagging, whining) with less partner distress.

Accurate assessment of readiness to change is associated with positive behaviour change.

The giver knows when to provide the control and can tailor the support to match the partner.

Why does the expression of primary emotions by a support seeker make it easier for the support giver to provide helpful social support?
Primary emotions are more accurately decoded by the support giver, secondary emotions are defensive and hard to decode so it is harder to understand the real problem or concern.

Expression of secondary emotions are often distancing for the support giver and they may respond in an invalidating way.

This can intensify emotions for the support seeker

What is empathic accuracy and how can it assist a support giver in the help they provide to a relationship partner?
Empathic accuracy is the ability to correctly infer another’s thoughts and feelings.

The more empathic accuracy a person has the more responsive they are likely to be.

Empathic accuracy is associated with provision of instrumental support and less negative behaviour

Describe Burleson and colleagues model of the differential impact of social support message
written messages can be supportive

a. The message needs to be of high emotional quality (high person-centred). Acknowledge and legitimize the receipients feelings and perspective, but also encourage them to explore and make sense of their emotions

b. The receiver must engage in substantial cognitive processing of the message for it to have a lasting effect. If the receipient is not motivated to carefully process the message then it will have little effect.

social support is associated with
trust
intimacy
relationship satisfaction
support can be related to negative outcomes, depends on
if the support is
perceived as being available
acknowledged as received
visible support
increased negative mood
increased relationship quality
moderated by responsiveness (understanding, validation and caring)
social control
Not all support provided is of an emotional nature, there are times where the support provided is informational (i.e., advice or guidance)

• Often this type of support can be of benefit when a relationship partner is engaging in unhealthy behaviour, or behaviour that endangers one’s wellbeing

• The aim of providing such support is to yield behaviour change in the partner (i.e., “social control”)

− but this form of help is not always welcomed or helpful

The effectiveness of social control is determined by accurately assessing if the partner is ready for change and tactics – reinforcing and direct

empathic accuracy
Ability to correctly infer another’s thoughts and feelings

The more accurately the support giver understands the support seekers internal state the more responsive the giver is likely to be

Research suggests empathic accuracy seems associated with the provision of instrumental support (information, doing a favour, loaning money) and less negative behaviour displayed by support seeking in couple interactions

— empathic accuracy did not predict level of emotional support provided; this was predicted by the emotional response of the support seeker

— the provision of emotional support may be more driven by the givers own emotional reactions to the support seekers distress rather than accurately inferring content of thoughts and feelings

couple interventions in social support
• Educating couples on the importance of:

− responsive support
− providing support in a way that doesn’t challenge or hurt the person’s competence/self-esteem
− providing advice when the partner is ready to hear it
− support seekers should express their emotions as accurately as possible

• Therapy also requires couple activities that help to build partners skills in these areas

− communication and support exchange exercises
− activities that deliver support in different ways
− teaching people skills in regulating emotions

problems with inaccurate emotional expression (secondary rather than primary emotions)
the support giver may respond in an invalidating way (provide support not required, become angry, or criticise):

— the emotions experienced by the support seeker intensify

— cycle of mutual invalidation is perpetuated

Key assumptions of the honest communication model
if problems are not dealt with they simmer and erode the strength of the relationship
Key assumptions of the good management model
some issues cant be resolved (at least easily); rehashing old problems isn’t always the answer – sometimes things need to be put on the backburner in ones mind
why is critical and demanding communication is associated with relationship dysfunction?
Hostile and negative communication undermines the ability to problem solve by inciting destructive emotions and behavioural reactions from the partner that impact future interactions.
What role does positive affect play in conflict situation?
Positive conflict behaviour fosters empathy and a rewarding relationship atmosphere
What are the two main destructive communication patterns
Negative reciprocity
Demand-withdrawal
Negative reciprocity
negative behaviour of one partner is met with intensified behaviour of the other partner.

Dissatisfied partners interpret comments as intentionally hurtful, wounded feelings leak out through non-verbal behaviour, becoming absorbed in one’s own anger and hurt makes it difficult to accept attempts at repair when one apologises.

Demand-withdrawal
critical and demanding by a partner is met with defensive withdrawal of the other.

Associated with poorer conflict resolution and reduced satisfaction over time.

If men are more demanding it increases relationship satisfaction.

How can negative attitudes influence perceptions of conflict interactions?
If negative traits are assumed negative communication patterns ensue because of the appraisal.

Even when positive behaviour is shown it is discounted as an anomaly.

Negative attitudes about a partner are central to the use of negative reciprocity.

There are individual differences eg. attachment

What are the two dimensions that underpin Rusbult et al.’s accommodation model of communication?
Whether the response is destructive or constructive for the relationship

whether the response is active or passive

List and describe the four communication styles associated with Rusbult et al.’s model
Exit – destructive, ending or threatening to terminate the relationship and abusing, criticizing or derogating

Voice – constructive and active to improve conditions, discussing problems and suggesting solutions, and engaging in efforts to alter problematic self or partner behaviour

Loyalty – constructive and passive, waiting and hoping for improvement, forgiving and forgetting partner offences and supporting and maintaining faith in the partner in the face of hurtful actions

Neglect – passive destructive responses, allowing the relationship to deteriorate by ignoring or spending less time with the partner, avoiding discussing any problems and criticizing the partner regarding unrelated issues

scores on all response patterns yield an accommodation score

Describe Murray et al.’s risk regulation model
we have to make decisions in relationships whether we engage in interactions in a way that protects the self, or fosters and promotes the relationship

• Self protection – protect self by reducing closeness and value of the relationship (exit and neglect)

• Relationship promotion – defend relationship and increase closeness by affirming value of relationship and accommodating (voice and loyalty)

outcomes and impacting factors:

• Relationship wellbeing – satisfaction, trust, and commitment of both partners

• Rejection expectancies – expect rejection versus trust in partner’s continued regard

What types of negative communication can yield positive outcomes and why?
Exit is a negative strategy that can increase satisfaction over time.

Exit is an active strategy like voice and can be used as a means of actively addressing and attempting to solve a problem (criticism, hostility, blame).

An active strategy does communicate issues in a direct and clear way so people know where they stand.

Under what contexts can negative communication strategies be effective?
When external demands/pressures are high it may be more beneficial to engage in direct and honest communication rather than good management.

Also when pressures come from within the relationship and the problems are serious

What types of positive communication can yield negative outcomes and why?
Using humour to soften conflict or being loyal and waiting for things to improve are linked to reduced satisfaction over time.

These approaches yield less effective problem solving.

Under what contexts can positive communication strategies be ineffective?
When pressures/demands are not high and relationship problems not as serious engaging in less direct, positive, soft communication strategies may be more appropriate.
When does conflict arise
when partners are perceived as not meeting their responsibilities or deviate from relationship norms and expectations
impacts of conflict
Conflict can have negative a impact on relationships, especially for those couples that deal with frequent relationship problems and conflict:
− declines in relationship satisfaction
− increased risk of break-up
− greater depression
− poorer health
honest communication model
couples should openly express their negative feelings and thoughts (though efforts should be made to do this diplomatically), conflict should be dealt with directly, and never left unresolved
good management model
regular and open communication of -ve thoughts and emotions can be caustic;
good communication is about compromise, restraint, and accommodation
Accommodation
Tendency to inhibit destructive exit and neglect responses and react constructively with voice and loyalty

Hard to do

risky if partner doesn’t reciprocate or continues to behave negatively

Vulnerability stress adaptation model (VSA)
People’s own vulnerabilities (e.g., self-esteem, attachment insecurity) coupled with a stressful situations outside the relationship (e.g., work pressures) impact how we communicate in relationships, and in turn, our relationship quality
How does stress impact communication?
stressful events make it harder for people to negotiate conflict in a more constructive way because their capacities are already taxed

relationship issues are perceived as more serious (or that there is more of them)

partners are more likely to be blamed for issues

people are less able to regulate their stress

spillover into negative partner interactions. This is especially the case if the person has greater vulnerabilities

social comparison theory
People need to be confident about the validity of their perceptions, attitudes, feelings and actions

Due to the rarity of measuring this objectively, people base:
– cognitions
– feelings, and
– behaviours in those of others

This need is heightened in times of uncertainty or distress.

Downward comparison is a distress-regulation tool, used when there are no specific targets of comparison or we don’t identify with the comparison target. (not proved)

types of social comparison
Comparing ourselves to more competent others (upward comparison),
less competent others (downward comparison) or similar others (lateral comparison).
Why do egalitarian couples engage in more social comparisons than couples with clearly defined sex-roles?
There are no standardised ideas regarding the roles for partners in egalitarian relationships, there is a lack of role models due to subscription to genderised roles, and the need to develop own rules, standards and expectations.

This leads to uncertainty.

egalitarian women were more dissatisfied and engaged in more social comparison than traditional women

o also found egalitarian women seem to have a greater desire for social comparison – vis-à-vis false consensus effect, by overestimating the number of women in same situation

why do we engage in upward comparisons when it comes to affect (emotion)
Upward comparisons lead to higher affect through identification with the target but more negative evaluation.
why do we engage in downward comparisons when it comes to evaluations (judgments) about our relationships?
Downward comparisons lead to more positive evaluations through contrasts but higher negative affect.
Under what conditions identification and contrasting can yield positive and negative emotions.
Positive emotions will be the result of comparing your relationship with a relationship that is better than yours if you identify with the target.

Positive emotions will also result if you compare yourself with a relationship worse than yours and you contrast yours with the target.

Negative emotions result from identifying with a downward comparison and contrasting with an upward comparison.

Do couples engage in illusion of superiority? If so why?
Couples perceive their relationship as more equitable, felt they invested more in terms of listening and paying attention to the other, giving in when fighting and making sacrifices for the other.

Couples hold a greater number of positive beliefs about their own and a greater number of negative beliefs about other’s relationships.

Couple rate their partner’s interpersonal skills qualities than the typical partner’s qualities.

Married couples believe their marriage is more satisfying, believe they are above average as a spouse, believe they are less likely to divorce and think their relationship has a better future than that of others.

How do empathy and shared fate influence partner behaviour when faced with either an upward or downward comparison?
Empathy and shared fate appear to enhance and maintain relationships.

People who felt boosted by sharing their partner’s success were less likely to distance themselves following an upward comparison.

People who felt concern and empathy for their partner’s failure were likely to help the partner following a downward comparison.

When outcomes are shared it appears that people respond in functional ways to comparisons by focusing on protecting the relationship rather than protecting the self.

How can forced upward comparisons affect self esteem and relationships
We often have no choice but to compare oneself to a more competent individual (upward comparison) (i.e., little brother to older brother). Can have negative effects on self-esteem

• According to Tesser’s (1988) self-evaluation model, people avoid this by downplaying their similarity with another person or withdraw from the relationship

What type of comparison is sought in relationship threat or distress?
Upward comparison

– the most dissatisfied generally preferred comparing to someone similar

o because we can identify with them and believe on some level as us, and they have the same characteristics and properties as us

– it seems when things are threatening we want to find out what makes others’ relationships better.

o that way we feel that we can find out how we can make our relationships better, particularly if we share the same qualities as others

– findings support Schachter’s (1959) original social comparison theory and does not support Willis’ (1981, 1987) downward comparison theory

o that is, we tend to seek out people who are similar to us when in
distress

Identification contrast model
two criteria to make comparisons

contrasts – how do you compare to others

Identification – do you see yourself as similar or do you hope to be similar

Effort and social comparison
– couples with high marital quality when confronted with a couple of high quality and high effort feel a reduced sense of relationship quality

– couples with low marital quality when confronted with a comparison couple of low quality but involving high effort increases the couple’s sense of relationship quality

social comparison orientation
Inclination to compare one’s accomplishments, situation and experiences to those of others

• SCO seems correlated with neuroticism, low self-esteem, high anxious attachment, self-consciousness and high communal and exchange orientation

biased cognitive processes used in the illusion of superiority
1. focus on dimensions on which one’s own relationship is advantaged

2. biased memory for negative information about other’s relationships and positive information about own

3. attributions regarding conflict are associated with stable characteristics of relationship in other couples, but to transient issues in own

4. high salience for intimacy and uniqueness in one’s own relationship

model of cognitive adaptation
Under conditions where there are no specific targets of comparison or we don’t identify with the comparison target, then we are likely to engage in downward comparison when facing couple discontent or distress

• Downward comparison is a distress-regulation tool

cognitive processes used in the model of cognitive adaptation
downward comparisons (goal oriented behaviour)

– selectively focusing on attribute that make them appear advantaged (dimensional comparison)

– creating hypothetical world’s by comparing one’s current situation against what might have been

downward comparison and social comparison orientation
SCO more likely to make downward comparisons

downward comparisons of partner or relationship increase relationship quality. BUT only for those high on SCO

SCO mediated the effect

Summarise the evolutionary approach to aggression.
The evolutionary approach is biological, human aggressive potential in response to environmental stimuli is caused by evolved natural or sexually selected psychological mechanisms.

These are known as decision rules and are not static but designed to be open and flexible to relevant environmental stimuli.

Aggression is expressed to the extent it is adaptive, to maximize resources and competitiveness relative to others and thus reproductive success.

Does not mean aggressive behaviour is justified or inevitable.

Evidence – occurs in all cutures, aggression related emotions are universal and evident in infants, more children have shown aggression by age 2, neural circuits are designed to orchestrate effective attack.

How does Malamuth and Addison’s (2001) model integrate the social learning and evolutionary approaches to aggression?
Through the integration of:

evolved mechanisms,

calibration mechanisms

activation (leading to the behaviour)

What are Evolved Psychological Mechanisms
Heuristics – programs or decision rules

May have heuristics like 1. When threatened identify the source of the threat and 2. Cause losses or harm to those responsible.

Research with children suggests this type of rule

define Calibration and modulation of psychological mechanisms
Social learning: observational and enactive learning
Sources of social learning: media violence, direct exposure to family violence

Moderators of aggression: individuals’ cognitions and perceived norms, cultural norms

define Situational activation and modification of psychological mechanisms
i. Priming of mechanisms
ii. Content situations likely to elicit aggression
iii. Moderators – individuals cognitions and perceived norms
iv. Moderators – cultural norms
v. Moderators – situational factors
define Alternative influence factors
Learned inhibitory responses
Summarise the findings of the research on the effects of media violence on the viewer.
Viewing violence in the media increases viewer’s aggressive tendencies and shapes perceptions of and attitudes to real life violence

a. Additional cognitive effort is required to tag violence as fictional

b. Context affects outcomes, aggression more likely if:
i. Violence is judged more real and relevant
ii. Greater duration desensitizes
iii. The perpetrator is more similar to the viewer
iv. The perpetrator is more attractive
v. The perpetrator has a good or heroic nature
vi. There is justification for or social acceptance of the violence

1. Socially unjustified violence may cause a decrease in viewers aggression

Summarise the findings of the research on direct exposure to family violence in childhood, and its relationship to aggressive behaviour in adulthood.
Positive relationship between viewing or experiencing family violence in childhood and

a. Children’s aggressive tendencies towards peers
b. Adult aggressive behaviour, including partner and child abuse
c. Viewing is sufficient

Exposure to family violence is related to aggressive tendencies
a. Observed aggression leads to more positive than negative consequences
b. Lack of opportunities to observe constructive conflict resolution strategies

What psychological mechanisms may underlie the relationship between family violence and aggressive behaviour
Having to defend oneself continuously recalibrates decision-making mechanisms so as to overattribute hostile intentions to others, the response is judged to be fair.
Name the 6 alternate influence tactics (model)
Reward
Coercive
Legitimate
Referent
Expert
Informational
Evolved psychological mechanisms (model)
biological modules
social modules
physical modules
Mechanism Calibration (via learning[model])
Cultural environments
individual development histories
Mechanism activation (model)
Current characteristics (personality)
situational variables
behavioural enactment
alternative influence tactics
define aggression
Behaviour directed toward the goal of harming or injuring another living being, who is motivated to avoid that harm
key elements of aggression
A behaviour, not an attitude, motive or emotion
Intention to cause harm
Aversive consequences (negative outcome) occurs
Victim is a living being
Victim motivated to avoid harm

So excludes accidents, dental work, assertiveness, includes insults & gossip (verbal behaviour)

Physical measures of aggression
Aggression against inanimate objects (e.g., punching an inflated Bobo doll)

Pushing a button supposedly to deliver an electric shock to someone (deception)

nonphysical measures of aggression
Ratings by others using rating scales
Self-reports & self-ratings using rating scales
Verbal expressions of willingness to use violence
Problems with aggression measures
research procedures (operational definitions) don’t correspond to definition:
Don’t measure intention
Don’t necessarily measure actual behaviour
Not necessarily directed against living being
coercive action
action taken with the intention of imposing harm on another person or forcing compliance

Aggression as one of a number of tactics of influence (Raven, 1999), leading to a goal

Similar to concept of instrumental (learned, conscious) aggression, vs hostile (impulsive, emotional) aggression

Imbedded in nature of social relationships

inactive learning
When a child enacts & rehearses a script, their behaviour is reinforced or not

Positive consequences: obtaining desired objects, positive self- evaluations, favourable social reactions from others (e.g., status, control & dominance over others)

Negative consequences: physical punishment, social disapproval, harm or injury to others, disruption of social relationships

Reinforcement makes behaviour less or more likely

Aggressive children more likely to predict that aggressive acts will result in tangible rewards & increased status among peers, & that such acts more likely to stop others behaving aversively towards them

Recurrent aggressive behaviour in adolescents correlated with lower expectations of negative consequences for it (e.g., Guerra, 1989)

how to deactivate perceived normative beliefs (individual factors)
moral disengagement
altering perceptions of aggressive behaviour
misrepresenting effect of the aggressive act
altering perceptions of the victim
perceived normative beliefs (individual factors)
Normative beliefs about acceptable behaviour may act as filter influencing likelihood activated script will be acted out

Correlations between aggressive beliefs & behaviour

Transformation of aggression via moral justifications more likely if supported by social norms

cultural norms
Socially normative aggression has decision rules about when appropriate (e.g., towards outgroup but not ingroup)

Once norms have emerged they may be transmitted & maintained across generations even if environment no longer same as that leading to their development

situational factors
Alcohol consumption

Physical pain

Aspects of the physical environment can increase tendency to aggress, e.g.,
Overcrowding (especially when mixed with alcohol)
Temperature
Noise
Air pollution

situations likely to elicit aggression
Aggression an evolved solution to particular adaptive problems confronted in particular contexts, e.g.
To co-opt resources from others To defend against insult To inflict costs on competitors To gain status & power To discourage competitors from using aggressive tactics
To deter long-term mates from sexual infidelity
To reduce the resources expended on unrelated offspring

Contextual cues inherent to these type of interpersonal conflicts may prime psychological mechanisms

priming aggression
Novel stimuli in modern environments may also prime psychological mechanisms, if cognitively associated with other aggression-related concepts

Implies role of social learning

Weapon priming effect: presence or pictures of common weapons (e.g., guns, knives) prime aggressive related thoughts, increasing aggressive responding in the lab & the real world

However, provocation is also a necessary precursor of effect

situational activation and modification of psychological mechanisms
Priming of mechanisms
Content situations likely to elicit aggressive tactics
Situational variables modifying (moderating) the function of mechanisms
Alternative influence tactics
Calibration & modulation of psychological mechanisms
Social learning: observational learning, enactive learning
Sources of social learning: media violence, direct exposure to family violence
Moderators of aggression: individuals’ cognitions & perceived norms, cultural norms
What is ostracism?
Ostracism is being ignored and excluded.

It can be from individual to groups (self-ostracism) or groups to individual (classic ostracism).

Related concepts include rejection, marginalization, and social inclusion.

While ostracism, rejection, and social exclusion can be distinguished by definition research shows they lead to similar conclusion so often the terms are used interchangeably.

Research paradigms used in ostracism
ball tossing,
cyberball,
life alone,
get acquainted,
paradigms manipulating rejection/ostracism.
What are the temporal stages in response to ostracism
reflexive
reflective
acceptance
what are the features of the reflexive stage of ostracism?
Reflexively detected as distress, pain and threats to the fundamental needs.
Detection of pain motivates attention and cognitive appraisal
What are the features of the reflective stage of ostracism?
After reflection the individual tries to fortify/regain thwarted needs

Fortifying belonging/self-esteem leads to social susceptibility (sensitivity) and prosocial reactions

Fortifying efficacy/control or existence/recognition leads to controlling, provocative or antisocial reactions

What are the features of the acceptance stage of ostracism?
Feelings of helplessness, alienation and despair
What is the evolutionary purpose of ostracism
detecting ostracism is adaptive for the individual so that corrections can be made in order to increase inclusionary status

ostracism is adaptive for groups because it eliminates burdensome members and maintains their cohesion and strength

Individuals who ostracise feel more powerful & perceive themselves to have higher levels of control over relationship

Ostracism signals danger

Ostracism is therefore reflexively detected as pain

types (modes) of ostracism
• Physical ostracism: ignored & excluded through physical separation or isolation

• Social ostracism: ignored & excluded in the presence of others

• Cyber ostracism: ostracism through media other than face-to face

– When recognition & communication is anticipated within an acceptable time frame, but doesn’t occur

Threats and feelings elicited by ostracism
• Threatens fundamental needs:
– Belonging
– Self-esteem
– Control
– Recognition/meaningful existence

• Arouses negative emotions
– Sadness
– Anger

• More (longer) ostracism produces more distress

do situational and individual differences affect pain and distress from ostracism?
• Ostracism produces pain & distress regardless of:
– The target’s personality &/or attributions, or
– The social/situational context

• Response not moderated by individual differences, including
– Loneliness
– Extraversion/introversion
– Collectivism/individualism
– Self-esteem
– Narcissism
– Social phobia
– Rejection sensitivity
– Need for belonging
– Attachmentstyle

• Individual differences & social factors play a role in reflective stage, influencing the speed of coping & the coping path

coping paths in the reflective stage of ostracism
– One that fortifies belonging/self-esteem

– One that fortifies efficacy/control & existence/recognition

the response patterns in the reflective stage of ostracism
• Two general response patterns:

– Prosocial: general aim is to be attractive enough to be included by others, by doing things that will meet with approval, &/or social susceptibility

– Antisocial: general aim is to provoke attention & to use aggression to exert control

individual differences that moderate coping responses to ostracism
Rejection sensitivity
Gender
culture
trait self-esteem
social anxiety
individual differences that moderate coping responses to ostracism – rejection sensitivity
– Chronically expect rejection, see it in when it may not be there, & respond to it hostilely

– Have hostile intention towards those they believe did or could reject them (e.g., in pleasant interactions ending mysteriously)

– High-RS men more likely to have propensity for violence when strongly invested in a romantic relationship

– Following higher reports of rejection, high RS individuals report more relational conflicts

– Avoid interactions where rejection is possible (unless v. invested in relationship) – so less chance to practise appropriate behaviour, so more hostile when actually interact

individual differences that moderate coping responses to ostracism – gender
– After ostracism by group, women made more self-denigrating attributions, men more other-blame ones

– Women more likely to socially compensate (work harder on group’scollective tasks than on coactive tasks), men socially loaf (as did after inclusion)

individual differences that moderate coping responses to ostracism – culture
– Westerners have a more flexible/inclusive idea of belonging, so more willing to trust & embrace strangers, & are more hurt by strangers’ reactions, & more derogatory towards the rejector on all dimensions

– Easterners just as hurt by rejection, but only derogatory about rejector on warmth dimensions

individual differences that moderate coping responses to ostracism – trait self-esteem
– Low SE partners, when no real threat but feel threatened, likely to exaggerate difficulties with partners, subsequently derogate them, & reduce perceived closeness

– All feel SE threat after silent treatment, but those low in SE more likely to reciprocate with silence

– Impact on state SE of rejection greater in those lower in trait SE

– After rejection, low SE individuals need more time to recover from threat, & persist less on hard task, while high SE individuals persist
more

individual differences that moderate coping responses to ostracism – social anxiety
takes longer than normals to bounce back from distress
Prosocial acts more likely to occur after being ostracised
– Females work harder on collective task for ostracising group than on coactive task

– They conform more, even to unanimously incorrect others

– More attracted to new groups, even illegitimate ones

– More likely to mimic a good organisational citizen

– More likely to engage in unconscious mimicry, especially with ingroup members

– More socially attentive

– More susceptible to compliance tactics

– Approval seeking

– The vast literature on the effectiveness of ‘time-out’ disciplinary procedures

• Might be adaptive – give feedback on behaviour to change – but may not be in own best interest – may become more gullible/susceptible

antisocial acts more likely to occur after being ostracised
• Decreases prosocial behaviours & increases desire to flee

• Increased derogation of ostraciser

• Increases antisocial behaviours including to those not ostracising

• “Precipitated” 13/15 incidents of US school shootings

• Can lead to generalised aggression against similar group members to those who did ostracism – mass violence

• Replenishing sense of belonging reduces negative & aggressive consequences

• Reduces self-regulation & complex thought

• Causes self-defeating behaviour

need threat vs. need fortification
– Belongingness & self-esteem need threats motivate pleasing others

– Control & meaningful existence need threats motivate aggressive & provocative responses – get control & demand attention from others

Acceptance stage of ostracism
• LT/chronic ostracism leads to depletion of individual’s resources:

– Depression
– Accept alienation, isolation, low self-worth & depression, helplessness, avoided further rejection

• May be more likely to emerge with life alone paradigm – appears to produce more depression like symptoms

Emotional architecture of secure attachment
highly differentiated pattern.

Dominant emotions in a memory were rated as highly intense and non-dominant emotions as far less intense.

Secure people acknowledge distress while controlling the spread to other emotions

Emotional architecture of anxious attachment
non-differentiated emotional architecture.

Both dominant and non-dominate emotions are rated as highly intense, they seem unable or unwilling to limit the spread of distress to other emotions.

Emotional architecture of avoidant attachment
Rated dominant and non-dominant emotions as far less intense than secure persons.

Avoidant persons inhibit the processing of negative memories and the spreading of the dominant emotional tone

Under what conditions is the attachment system activated?
The attachment system is activated in situations of stress or threat
What do Mikulincer and Florian (2004) identify as the four primary coping strategies people use?
Problem focused
emotion focused
distance coping
support seeking
What is problem focused coping?
resources are channelled to solve the stress-inducing problem. Includes active coping, planning, suppression of competing activities and restraint.
What is emotion focused coping
attempts to ease inner tension without trying to solve the problem.

Cognitive strategies aimed at understanding and alleviating stress are used.

Examples are preoccupation, self-criticism, mental rumination, affect amplification, overt displays of distress and wishful thinking.

What is distance focused coping?
two types of strategies are used.

Cognitive manoeuvres are used to prevent the intrusion of threatening thoughts into consciousness, such as suppression of painful emotions and memories.

Behavioural disengagement can be used by either withdrawing problem-focused efforts or using drugs or alcohol.

These strategies may initially have beneficial adaptive outcomes, in the long run they are detrimental.

What is support seeking
consists of responses aimed at maintaining or restoring proximity to a significant other who can help with coping.
Includes;
the seeking of love, reassurance and affection;

the search for information, advice and feedback;

and the seeking of material aid and resources.

There is extensive evidence on the positive adaptive outcomes of support seeking.

What coping strategies do people high on attachment avoidance use?
People high on attachment avoidance use cognitive and behavioural distancing strategies for mild to moderate stressors.

For severe or chronic stress these strategies break down and they more resemble attachment anxiety.

What coping strategies do people high on attachment anxiety use?
emotion focused strategies

when the stressor is shared by others they may use excessive support seeking strategies.

They are reluctant to use support seeking from the fear that others will see them as less capable.

What coping strategies do people low on avoidance and anxiety use (i.e., secure)?
Secure people use problem focused and/or support seeking strategies.

They are flexible in their coping style under severe and stressful events, they have been shown to use distance coping in this situation.

What attachment behavioural strategies are the coping responses of anxious and avoidantly attached people linked to?
The behavioural strategies linked to anxiety and avoidant attachment style are dietary restraint and binge eating;
conduct disorder and criminality;
substance use
Why is attachment avoidance associated with criminality?
Avoidant individuals can engage in antisocial behaviour as a means of denying the importance of attachment relationships and gaining distance from unresponsive parents.

Avoidant individual’s distrust and hostility can interfere with the acceptance of social norms and constraints.

Explain why attachment anxiety in particular is associated with depressive symptomatology?
Individuals with attachment anxiety view the world as a hostile unsafe place and the individuals have have serious doubts about their ability to cope alone.

They must remain vigilant to threat and their core beliefs heighten their fearful reactions and lead to escape and avoidance componants of anxiety disorders.

Preoccupied mind and attachment anxiety have been associated over 100 times with depression and anxiety.

The fearful avoidance aspect of attachment anxiety is what has been linked to depression and anxiety vulnerability.

How do relationships impact mental health?
Positive relationships are thought to strengthen people’s mental health and resiliency

• Negative relationships are thought to diminish people’s capacities to cope with the world and result in mental health problems

Attachment relationships
Attachment relationships are regarded as the most significant relationships people have and are thought to have some of the most profound affects on people’s well being.

– attachment relationships fulfill our basic needs for love, comfort, care and security

– attachment figures “broaden and build” needy others by acting as a secure base

effects of attachment bonds
– the calibration of the attachment system
– our ability to cope with distress
– our ability to regulate our emotions
– our ability to deal with grief and loss

attachment theory is seen as a theory of more than just human bonding, but one of coping, distress and emotion regulation.

What is the goal of the attachment system?
maintain felt security
What emotions are activated by attachment experiences
attachment activation: Anxiety and anger, emotions that cue the need to engage in a coping response to alleviate distress.

attachment deactivation: Following the distressful event – relief, positive affect (e.g., happy), gratitude towards another.

o however ,if an individuals does not have their needs consistently met, then chronic deactivation is regarded as maladaptive.

caregiving responses
– reliable responsiveness
constructive dealing of problems

– inept (inconsistent responsiveness)
more feelings of anxiety and
anger and greater distress
hyperactivating coping strategies

– consistent unresponsiveness
initial anger and anxiety, followed by consistent attempts to suppress these emotions deactivating coping strategies

attachment strategies and emotions
– avoidant people’s deactivating strategies yield dissociated anger

– anxious people’s hyperactivating strategies intensify anger and reduce ability to control anger

Deactivation coping styles
escape avoidance
cognitive distancing

used by avoidant

constructive coping styles
social support
Problem focused coping

used by secure and avoidant

Hyperactivation coping styles
Anger/hitting out
wishful thinking

used by anxiety

attachment and conduct disorder
Anxiety – as a means for attention coupled with hostility

Avoidance – Hostility, distrust of others, reduced amenability to socialisation and internalisation of norms

attachment and substance use
Anxiety – to pacify uncontrollable emotions and thoughts

Avoidance – avoid painful memories and self-awareness

Anxious attachment and severe psychopathology
borderline PD
dependent PD
paranoid PD
suicidal thoughts
Avoidant attachment and severe psychopathology
antisocial PD
schizotypal PD
anxious and avoidant attachment and severe psychopathology
avoidant PD
BPD
dissociative disorder
What are beliefs?
general ideas, theories and assumptions

specific expectations about the functioning of a particular relationship

What are values?
Standards – what ‘should’ occur
Ideals – what we wish would occur
How do beliefs and values influence relationship satisfaction?
Beliefs can motivate relationship behaviours that bolster initial satisfaction. We engage in self-fulling prophecies.

Partner’s beliefs may affect how they interpret specific experiences in the relationship.

According to Karney et al., a key issue is the consistency between experiences and expectations.

Experiences that are consistent with relationship functioning beliefs are more easily endorsed, as little cognitive effort is required to maintain the consistency, compared to inconsistencies.

The greater the discrepancy between experience and values, the greater the dissatisfaction if experiences fall short of values.

Content of cognitions
beliefs and values
Structure of cognitions
1. Cognitive complexity (the intricacy of our knowledge-base and how we compartmentalise and integrate this information) and

2. Accessibility (the extent to which we can retrieve certain forms of relationship-relevant information).

aspects of cognitive complexity
1. Differentiation – number of categories or kinds of information taken into account in evaluating persons or events.

2. Integration – degree and quality of connections amongst these pieces of information.

The more complex and integrated information is, the greater the capacity for flexibility in assimilating information about the relationship

Evidence
• Cognitive complexity seems to be associated with more flexible and adaptive problem-solving behaviours, and possibly higher satisfaction. However, this seems to be moderated by satisfaction/distress

cognitive accessibility
The ease with which a cognition is brought to mind is thought to influence appraisals of the relationship such as marital satisfaction.

• It is thought that the more accessible a cognition is, the more stable it is likely to be due to the frequency with which it being primed and accessed.

• Highly accessible cognitions should affect interpretations of specific relationship experiences, increasing the likelihood that new information will be assimilated into these highly accessible knowledge structures.

• In contrast, relatively inaccessible cognitions are less likely to influence the interpretation of information and thus are thought to be less stable over time.

• So accessibility of certain mental schema should moderate the impact of the cognition on the interpretation of certain experiences

Process of cognitions
maintenance and enhancement

Accuracy and verification

maintenance and enhancement motives
Derogation of alternatives
Selective attention
Rationalisation
Temporal comparison
Social comparison
accuracy and verification motives
As partners become more dependent on one another there is also a need to understand and predict partner’s behaviour.

So there is a desire to acquire accurate information about the relationship irrespective of whether its positive or negative

However, Swann and colleagues have shown that people feel closer to their partners if their partners view them as they view themselves, but reject information that is inconsistent with their views of their partners.

The desire for accurate information may vary as a function of the stage or phase of the relationship, and as a diagnostic tool.

strategic pluralism
good genes
good investment
relationship ideal standards
intimacy and loyalty
passion
function of ideal standards
1. Evaluation: Assessing or estimating the quality of partners and relationships (examining the quality of current or potential partners and relationships).

2. Explanation: Better understanding of what is happening in the relationship (cause and effect, attribution).

3. Regulation: Control and adjust one’s relationship or partner.

regulation attempts
o direct negative attempts (demanding, anger, threats) to change partner’s behaviour (most likely in response to discrepancies) does not increase satisfaction but partner behaviour can change over time

o positive direct strategies like using logic and explaining reasons yield change in partner’s behaviour but with less negative outcomes for relationship

o indirect positive strategies (e.g., highlight good points of your partner while discussing things that might like changed) are perceived as successful but do not produce change over time

social cognition
Social cognition relates to the process by which information about the social world is encoding, stored, retrieved, and applied to social contexts.

• Social knowledge is stored as mental structures termed schemas.
– i.e., mental representations of the social world that guide our emotions and behaviours.

• Schemas can be activated on a conscious and unconscious level.

aspects of relationship cognitions
content
structure
function
moderator
an IV that interacts with another IV to effect a DV.

That is, the effect that an IV has on a DV is strengthened as a function of the second IV.

mediator
A mediation effect occurs when the relationship between the IV and the DV no longer exists (or is substantially reduced) due to the inclusion of a third variable termed the mediating variable (MV)
What are the three defining features that constitute an attachment bond?
(1) Proximity Maintenance – the need to maintain close distance to the attachment figure (this includes proximity seeking and separation protest).

(2) Safe Haven – the attachment figure is regarded as a sanctuary.

(3) Secure Base – the attachment figure may act as a secure foundation from which a child can explore his or her environment and engage in non- attachment behaviour.

Bowlby’s attachment propositions
(1) emotional bonds between individuals serve as a survival mechanism in which care-giving and care-seeking are complementary behaviours to ensure survival of one’s progeny and ultimately a filial’s genes

(2) harboured within the central nervous system, the attachment system acts as a homeostatic mechanism governed by the motivation to feel secure during times of ill-health, anxiety or threat, and as a consequence, leads to the maintenance of proximity or ready accessibility of an attachment figure

strange situation infant attachment styles
– secure infants: seek comfort, proximity and contact followed by comfortable return to play (approx. 50%-60%)

– anxious infants: display contact seeking behaviour interspersed with angry resistance, not easily comforted during stress (approx. 20%-30%)

– avoidant infants: actively avoid contact with caregiver when distressed (approx. 10%-20%)

strange situation parenting styles
– secure mothers: constantly responding to infants’ signals

– anxious mothers: inconsistent and inept dealing with infants’ signals

– avoidant mothers: exhibited cold and rejecting tendencies towards infants

Internal working models – two broad schemas
– self: evaluations of whether the self is worthy of receiving love, affection, care and support

– other: evaluation of whether the attachment figure is a reliable, responsive, trusting caregiver

– people hold either positive or negative views of self and other

dynamic – can change over the lifespan

adult attachment in romantic relationships
– Secure individuals: reported romantic love relationships as comprising trust, friendship and positive emotions.

– Anxious individuals: reported being preoccupied with the need to merge with another person.

– Avoidant individuals: reported their romantic relationships as involving a fear of closeness and a lack of trust.

attachment and relationship initiation
The attachment system is activated in the early stages of the relationship – early on in dating and in flirtatious encounters:

– seek proximity and closeness
a function of attraction
– normative stress and anxiety
a function of not sure what future holds

• Behaviours associated with secure attachment (i.e., security-based strategies) assist in managing threat in flirtatious encounters; individuals are optimistic
– yields a positive tone to the encounters/ savour experiences
– promote further interaction

• The behaviours of anxiously attached (i.e., hyperactivating strategies)
can make early encounters tense/distressing early break-up
– seem needy, hungry for affection
– exaggerate and/or ruminate over real/imagined signs of rejection

• The behaviours of avoidantly attached (i.e., deactivation strategies) can also short-circuit a relationship in early stages
– emotionally detached, initially rejecting (defensive strategy), purely sexual
– relationship seems shallow and lacking excitement

self presentation
• Self-presentation: Tactical decision regarding how to show oneself to another

• Anxiously attached:
Emphasise the self as weak/helpless, needy
– A means to solicit sympathy and compassion

• Avoidantly attached: Present one’s strengths and attempt to inflate their self-image in the eyes of a partner (even at the expense of diminishing another
– To validate one’s self-reliance and maintain emotional distance

• Securely attached: Show little signs of the presentation tactics used by insecurely attached individuals
– Present oneself with greater authenticity

self disclosure
• Self-disclosure: Tell someone personal information or share feelings with another

• Inhibition of self-disclosure can hinder an early relationship to transition into a longer and more committed relationship

• Anxiously attached: High self-disclosure; disclose too early, indiscriminately, and don’t draw on partner’s self-disclosure in own disclosure
– Risk seeming needy and intimacy won’t be reciprocated

• Avoidantly attached: Low self-disclosure
– To validate one’s self-reliance and maintain emotional distance

• Securely attached: Responsive self-disclosure
– Will self-disclosure in proportion to the relationship partner

relationship consolidation goals and beliefs
• Securely attached individuals: Endorse goals of intimacy and closeness; maintain optimistic beliefs about relationships/partners. – these goals and beliefs enhance commitment towards a long-lasting relationship

• Insecurely attached individuals (anxious and avoidant): Goals emphasise emotional distance (a need to be too close or too far); relationship beliefs are -vely biased (either place little value on relationships, or are overwhelmingly concerned with them)

– these goals and beliefs inhibit committing and constructively working towards a long term relationship

cognition and perceptions (consolidation)
• Insecure individuals compared to secure individuals, hold more
negative views/perceptions about romantic partners:
– unsupportive
– distrusting
– attribute -ve partner behaviour to stable ,global aspects of the partner
Interpersonal relationships
Attachments in which bonds of family, friendship, love, respect, or hierarchy tie together two or more individuals over an extended period of time
Monkey mother
Infant monkey was attached two surrogate mother, one was made of cloth and looked like monkey but could not give milk. The other was made of wire but could give milk. Result: infant monkey clung to cloth mother and went to it for comfort in times of threat and only approach the wire mother for hunger.
Need to belong: evolutionary basis
Relationships help individuals and offspring survive, thus contributing to the increased likelihood of the replication of the individual’s genes.
Univerisal
We should see similar kinds of dynamics between romantic partners, parents and children, siblings, friends, and group members in different cultures around the world.
Guide social cognition
Relationships serve as important categories for how we process and store social information. Our attributions of social behavior are shaped by our relationships: as people become close to us, we tend to make similar attributions for their behaviors as we do for our own.
Satiable 可满足的
Need to belong should motivate thoughts and behaviors, much as thirst and hunger do, until the need is satisfied. eg. college students tend to restrict their meaningful interactions to six friends. We satisfy our need for friendship with limit and once this is not satisfied, people will seek to satisfy that need in other relationships.
Lack belong cause suffer profound negative consequency
Relationships are vital to our physical and mental well-being. eg. Mortality rates are higher for divorced, unmarried, and widowed individuals.
Social confinement
Being socially rejected was akin to death warrant. It also jeopardize the chances of survival and reproduction. It stimulates feelings of pain.
Ball-tossing paradigm
One participant plays a ball toss game with two confederates, tossing a ball around like old friends. hen the two confederate stop throwing the ball to the participant and only throw the ball to each other for 5 painful minutes. Result: one fell distress, shame, self doubt and submissive.
Undermine ability to think
Pain of social rejection undermines our ability to think. Experiment: participants were told, based on a personality questionnaire, that they would have a lonely future as compared to control participants, performed worse IQ test and portions of the GRE.
Socially rejected triggers aggression
People who report chronic sense of rejection are more likely to act aggressively in relationships. Individuals who led to imagine lonely, socially rejected future, compared to appropriate controls, were more likely to administer unpleasant noise blasts to stranger.
Attachment theory
A theory about how our early attachments with our parents shape our relationships for the remainder of our lives. Human infants survive by forming intensely close attachments to parents or parental figures. Evolution led to parental traits that promote attachment, love and protective instincts toward their infants. Children’s confidence in secure base that the parents provide derives in part from the parents’ availability and responsiveness to the child’s ever-shifting emotions. Depressed mothers are less responsible to their children’s actions, and their children in tern tend to feel less secure and more anxious.
Working model of relationships
A conceptual model of relationships with our current partners (including their availability, warmth, and ability to provide security) as derived from our childhood experience with how available and warm our parents were. It originate early in life and shape relationships from cradle to grave.
Strange situation
An experimental situation designed to assess an infant’s attachment to the caregiver; an infant’s reactions are observed after her caregiver has left her alone in an unfamiliar room with a stranger and then when the caregiver returns to the room (the reunion)
Strange situation, Mary Ainsworth
Infants and their caregivers enter an unfamiliar room containing large numbers of toys. As the infant explore the room, a stranger walked in. The stranger remained in the room and the caregiver quietly left. Returning after 3 minutes, caregiver greeted and comforted the infant it is upset. The separation typically caused infants to be distressed. Infants were then put down to be free to play again or might react by crying and protesting the separation. Result: infants whose caregivers responded quickly and reliably to their distress cries, as assessed by outside observers, were typically securely attached. These children felt safe even though they weren’t in contact with their caregiver. Caregivers who were not so reliable in their responses to their infants–intruding on child’s activities and sometimes rejecting the child–tend to have infants who showed anxious attachment. Caregivers who rejected their infants frequently tended to produce children with avoidant attachment.
Anxious
Type of attachment style characterized by feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style compulsively seek closeness, express continual worries about relationships, and excessively try to get closer to others during times of threat and uncertainty
Secure attachment style
Type of attachment style characterized by feelings of security in the relationships; individuals with this style are comfortable with intimacy and want to be close to others during times of threat and uncertainty
Avoidant attachment style
Type of attachment style characterized by feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style exhibit compulsive self-reliance, prefer distance from others, and are dismissive and detached during times of threat and uncertainty
Anxious attachment style
An attachment style characterized by feelings of insecurity in relationships. Individuals with this style compulsively seek closeness, express continual worries about relationships, and excessively try to get closer to others during times of threat and uncertainty
Baby in Bedroom
In more interdependent cultures, young children are much more likely to sleep side by side with their parents than in independent cultures.
Attachment style influence
The attachment style are stable across life. Individuals classified as secure, avoidant, or anxious at age 1 tend to be similarly classified in early adulthood. Four-year study shows that adults reported the same attachment style across all four years. Secure individuals are more likely to stay secure and its also important to note that this study also reveals that some people change over time in their attachment style.
Early influence of the attachment style
Important early life events are also associated with later attachment styles. Anxious individuals were more likely to have experienced parents who divorce. College student who take part in 40 years long study, found that woman who classified themselves as avoidant at 52 had also reported greater conflict at 21.
Attachment style and behavior
Attachment styles exert important influences on people’s behavior within intimate relationships. Researchers saying goodbye at airport. Avoidant partners show less physical contact and engaged in fewer embraces and less hand-holding as they departed from one another. Anxious individuals expressed greater fear and sadness. Secure individuals report their partners and friends more forth-coming in offering support than did anxious and avoidant individuals.
Attachment and benefit
Secure attachment style predict more positive life outcomes and report greatest relationship satisfaction. Secure individuals are less likely to experienced romantic breakup over four-year period 25.6 percent, avoidant 52.2 and anxious 43.6. For college student, secure individuals were more likely be married at age 52 than were avoidant indiviaduals (82 to 50) and to report fewer marital tensions. Anxiously attached individuals are more likely to interpret life events in pessimistic, threatening fashion, which increases the chances of depression. People are made to think about secure attachments when they are in threatening situations, opens them up to be more trusting in relationships in general. Security-related words, even when presented below the participants’ awareness, led the participants to be less prejudicial toward outgroups after feeling threatened and to be more altruistic toward others. In culture that place less value on autonomy, there are less fearless exploration of the environment by infants who are left in room without parents.
Relational self theory Susan Anderen and Serena Chen
A theory that examines how prior relationships shape our current beliefs, feelings, and interactions vis-a-vis people who remind us of significant others from our past
Relational self
The beliefs, feelings, and expectations that we have about ourselves that derive from our relationships with significant others in our lives. Encounter someone reminds us of a significant other, a specific relational self is activated, along with associated feelings, beliefs and self-evaluations, which then shape our interactions with that new individual, often outside of our awareness. For example, your mother may always been critical of your efforts and accomplishments. Your relational self would be defined by sense of inadequacy and feelings of shame. When encounter someone who reminds you of your mother, these beliefs, feelings, and interaction patterns will likely be transferred to that person and will shape the content of the new relationship.
Past relationships shape current belief, feelings, and interaction
Participants first write down 14 descriptive sentences about a positive significant other and a negative significant other, someone they don’t like and want to avoid. Result: participants are given description of this other person that either resembles the participant’s own positive or negative significant other.
Working self-concept
Interacting with someone who resembles a significant other alters our working self-concept: how we think about ourselves in current moment. Participants wrote done 20 sentences described what they were like with that person. Two weeks later, participants were exposed to descriptions of new person who resembled their significant other of someone else’s and wrote 14 statements describing themselves. Result: participants exposed to new person reminiscent of their significant other were more likely to describe themselves in terms that resembled what they are like with that significant other than were participants in the control conditions. Encountering people who remind us of significant others alters how we think about ourselves in the current situation, often at an automatic level, shaping the more immediate, accessible thoughts we have about ourselves.
Shapes emotional lives
Encountering people who remind us of significant others also shapes our emotional lives. Those who read about someone who resembled positive significant other as compared to negative significant other expressed more positive emotion as judged by their facial expressions and they liked the new person more. These findings may also account for the gut feelings we have about other people, we simply feel good or bad about someoen for no explicable reason.
Shapes current interactions
The relational self not only activates specific self-beliefs and emotions; it also shapes our current interactions. Participants interacted with another participant and the experimenter manipulated whether the target resembled a positive or negative significant other of the perceivers. Result: participants liked a new person who resembled a positive significant other more than a person who resembled a negative significant other or other people’s significant others, and the well-liked new person was more likely to show positive emotion toward the participant. Processes: 1. reminds me of good old things 2. I therefore like the target 3. So I express positive affect toward the target 43 Target expresses positive affect toward me. We should try to surround ourselves with people who remind us of positive individuals in our lives. We should also be wary of our immediate, gut dislikes of people, for those reactions may have more to do with previous relationships than with the new person in our life.
Communal relationships
Relationships in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give and receive according to the principle of need; such relationships are often long-term. Examples are family members and close friends. Children who take care of their elderly parents do so simply because their parents need help, not because they expect a benefit in return.
Exchange relationships
Relationships in which the individuals feel little responsibility toward one another and in which giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity; such relationships are often short-term, trade-based. Individuals feel no responsibility toward one another. Giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity.
How communal and exchange relationships differ Clark and Mills
In one method, they compare the behavior of friends with mere acquaintances. With the other method, they experimentally manipulate the communal versus exchange status of the relationship by varying the motives of the individuals in their experiments. Result: communal and exchange relationships operate according to much different principles. In communal relationships, people are more likely to keep track of each other’s need. In exchange relationships, people are concerned about their own and the other person’s contributions to any joint effort and how to reward those inputs accordingly. When individual signaling distress had earlier expressed an interest in forming a friendship with the participant, the participant was much more likely turn around and see whether the individual in the other room was having trouble. Participants take visual-search task, in which they and other participant search matrix of numbers for specified sequences and circle them. They would receive reward based on number of sequences they each circled. After the experimental manipulation designed to activate communal or exchange orientations, researchers gave participant matrix with several numbers circled by other participant in other room. Dependent measure of interest was whether the real participant would choose pen having the same color ink or different color to circle numbers. Result: exchange condition participants were much more likely than those in communal condition to choose different color ink, to ensure that their unique contribution would be known and rewarded.
Culture difference in relationships
Societies differ great deal in which approach they prefer in general. People in East Asian and Latin American societies are inclined to make communal approach to many situations in which people in European and Commonwealth countries would be inclined to take an exchange approach. Catholics are more likely to take communal stance in relationship matters than are Protestants.
Power
The ability to control our own outcomes and those of others; the freedom to act. Russell claims that all relationships are shaped by concerns over power–who is in control and who is not. Starting at the age of 2, people arrange themselves into social hierarchies, with some individuals occupying higher positions than others. Within day or so, young adults within groups agree about who has high status and how has low status. Power, indeed, is a basic force in human relationships. Power influence the way we speak, the way we look at each other, and the way we dress.
What is power?
Power: ability to control our own outcomes and those of others and the freedom to act. Power relate to status, authority, and dominance. It can exist in the absence of formal roles, status, or relative power. Can be attained without performing acts of dominance.
Status
The outcome of an evaluation of attributes that produces differences in respect and prominence, which in part determines an individual’s power within a group. It’s possible to have power without status and status without relative power.
Authority
Power that derives from institutionalized roles or arrangements
Dominance
Behavior that has the acquisition or demonstration of power as its goal
Where does power come from
At interpersonal level, power within group can originate from five different sources. 1. Power can derive from authority, based on roles within group. 2. Expertise, based on knowledge. 3. Coercion(压迫), based on the ability to use force and aggression. 4. Ability to provide rewards to others. (why members of elevated socioeconomic status often wield power over those of lower socioeconomic status, power of white over black, men over women. 5. Reference power, ability to serve as a role model. This is likely to contribute to the power that resident assistants generally have over the students they oversee in college dormitories.
Social hierarchies independent of all five listed above
Niccolo Machiavelli suggest: the acquisition and maintenance of power is founded on the pursuit of Machiavellian(不择手段的) strategies–to be deceptive, to ruthlessly pit competitors against one another to establish one’s own power, and to lead by fear and manipulation rather than affection and honesty. This line of reasoning is dead wrong. As social intelligence expanded, group members developed increasing capacity to form alliances. Ability for subordinates to form alliances radically shifted the dynamics of how to gain and maintain power. Power became more a matter of social engagement–creating rapport, resolving conflicts, building cooperative bonds–than brute force. Highly extraverted individuals tend to acquire positions of leadership, with emotionally intelligent individuals.Those most dynamic, outgoing, extraverted individuals quickly gain respect and status from their peers. Power goes to the most socially engaged, cooperative, and emotionally intelligent, not the most Machiavellian.
Power corrupts
Immoral side of using power, astonishing abuses of power, horrifying genocides perpetrated by despotic leaders, is reflected in time-honored saying.
Approach/inhibition theory
A theory that states that higher-power individuals are inclined to go after their goals and make quick judgements, whereas low-power individuals are more likely to constrain their behavior and attend to other carefully. Elevated power is defined by sense of control. Once one experience elevated power, one should be less concerned about the evaluations of others and more inclined to engage in approach-related behavior to satisfy ones goals and desires. Reducing power is associated with increased threat from others, punishment, and social constraint. Experiencing reduced power should make one more vigilant(警惕的) and careful in social judgment and more inhibited in social behavior.
Power translates into two hypothesis
One concerns the influence of power on how people perceive other individuals. High-power individuals, inclined to go after their own goals, should be less systematic and careful in how they judge other people. High-power individuals are more likely to thought-lessly stereotype others, rather than carefully attending to individuating information.
Social dominance orientation
Members of powerful groups have increased tendency to stereotype as well. SDO is the desire to see one’s own group dominate other groups. As men compared with women, European-American compared with African-Americans, and individuals in hierarchy-enhancing careers compared with hierarchy-attenuating careers, measures of social dominance correlate with increased stereotyping and prejudice. Predisposed to rely on stereotypes, high-power individuals should judge others’ attitutes and emotions in less accurate fashion. High-power tenured professors judge the attitudes of their less powerful, nontenured colleagues less accurately than did the low-power professors. Power may even be at work in the striking finding that younger siblings, who experience reduced power with older sibling, outperform their older siblings on theory-of-mind tasks, which assess the ability to construe correctly the intentions and beliefs of others.
Ability reduced to accurately perceive others
Joseph Magee and his colleagues induced people to feel powerful or to feel powerless by having them recall time when they exerted control over another person or when they were controlled by someone else. Participants then performed simple perspective-taking task. They were than asked to draw E on their foreheads that someone across from them could read it. The participant take the perspective of the other person and draw the E back. Result: when feeling powerful, participants were less able to draw E on their forehead that was reverse oriented and easy to read for person sitting across. Power reduces the ability to empathize.
Power-related influences on social perception have unfortunate consequences.
Powerful men who stereotyped female employees by focusing exclusively on their weaknesses devoted few resources to those employees, evaluate female employees negatively in masculine context, and anticipated less success for female employees relative to others. Experience of reduced power makes people less flexible in their thought and less able to shift their attention to meet different demands of the task at hand.
Experiment of reduce power on attention to meet different demands of task at hand, Pamela Smith, 2006
Induced people to feel elevated or low power by priming them low or high power words or having them recall an experience of low or high power. Participants then worked on variety of cognitive test which require cognitive flexibility and control to accomplish. Result: low power individuals proved less effective in performing these cognitive tasks. The vigilant and narrowed focus of reduced power diminishes the individuals’s ability to think flexibly and creatively.
Classical signs of power
Certain behavior are more likely to lead to gains status in social groups, such as bringing people together.
Second hypothesis
Power should make people behave in disinhibited and at times more inappropriate fashion. High-power individuals are more likely to touch others and approach them closely physically. People given power in experiment are more likely to feel attraction to random stranger. Low-power individuals show inhibition of wide variety of behaviors. Individuals with little power often constrict their posture, inhibit their speech,and facial expression. and clam up and withdraw in group interactions. Elevated power makes antisocial behavior more likely. High-power individuals are more likely to interrupt, speak out of turn, and act rudely at work.
Teasing Experiment
During the teasing experiment, high power member teased low-power targets in more aggressive and humiliating fashion. Lowpower members showed greater variation in their teasing according to whom they were teasing praising the high-power members. High-power members uniformly teased in more hostile fashion than low-power members, and didn’t shape their teasing according to who were the targets. Power disinhibits more harmful forms of aggression as well, leading to violent behavior against low-power individuals. High-power individuals tend to act in overly direct, impulsive, and even aggressive fashion.
People how should gain power
We should be careful about who gains power, for power seems to allow individuals to express their true inclinations, both good and bad. If person is inclined toward malevolent or competitive behavior, power will increase the likelihood of such behavior. If the person is more good-natured, power will amplify the expression of those tendencies.
Experiment of people gaining power, Serena Chen, 2001
Identified and preselected participants who were either more self-interested and exchange oriented or more compassionate and communal oriented. Each participant assigned to high-power or low-power randomly in clever, subtle manner: high-power individuals seated in snazzy leather professional chair during experiment; low-power individuals seated in plain chair typical of psychology experiments. Then participants were asked to volunteer to complete a packet of questionnaires with help of another participant, who was late. Result: communal-oriented participants with high power took on the large parts of the questionnaire and the exchange-oriented participants with high power acted in most self-serving fashion, leaving more of the task for the other participant. The effect of power depend on who is in power.
Triangular theory of love
A theory that states that there are three major components of love (passion, intimacy, and commitment) which can be combined in different ways
Passion
Early in the relationship, romantic partners experience intense, at times all-consuming feelings of passion, or sexual arousal, for each other. These feelings of passion are responsive to specific physical cues.And importantly this early passion is felt uniquely for a preferred romantic partner.
Experiment of passion
Eli Finkel and colleagues pioneered the speed-dating approach to the study of early desire. Dozen or so young women arrive at lab and engage in series of opposite sex. After each of these supercharged interactions, the participants rate their sexual desire and felt chemistry for one another. Result: individuals feels unique desire and chemistry for another, those feelings are reciprocated. Early passion needs to lock in on one person to set the stage for more enduring relationships.
Intimacy
With increasing time together, kind of passion diminishes and a second element of romantic relationship emerges–deep sense of intimacy. Couple will feel comfort and security in sense of being close, of knowing each other, of feeling their identities merge. Romantic partners will include their partner’s perspectives, experiences, and characteristics into their own self-concept.
Experiment of intimacy
Married couples first rated 90 trait adjectives for how accurately they described themselves and their spouse. After brief distracter task, participants viewed each trait on computer screen and were asked to indicate as quickly as possible whether the trait was like or not like me. Participants were faster in identifying traits on which they were similar to their spouse and slower to ascribe traits to themselves that their partner did not also posses. Within increasing intimacy, it is as if the two partners become one. Result: romantic partners are faster to label traits as true of themselves when the traits are true of their partner as well.
Commitment
Long-term relations are nothing without high levels of commitment-third element of enduring love in Sternberg’s theory. As intimacy deepens, partners develop sense of commitment to each other. Long-term commitment entails many sacrifices.
Investment model of interpersonal relationships, Caryl Rusbult
A model of interpersonal relationships that maintains that three things make partners more committed to each other; rewards, few alternative partners, and investments in the relationship
Rewards
Strong determinants of romantic satisfaction in long-term relationships is how much they get out of the internship. Leading marriage researcher argued that for long-term romantic relationships not to succumb to divorce, the rewarding positive experiences most outweigh the negative ones by factor of 5 to 1.
Alternative partners
Whether or not there are alternative partners also is a strong contributor to the enduring commitment a partner feels. The fewer alternatives a romantic partner has, the more committed and the more likely the partner will remain in the relationship. Romantic partners who report few alternative partners are less likely to break up later on.
Investments
Investments that the couple has put into the relationship is also important. A person is more likely to remain in relationship if he or she has invested heavily in it in the past. Investments can be direct, such as time, effort, caring and love given to the relationship. Or they can be indirect, such as the shared memories, mutual friends, and shared possessions that are part of the relationship.
Experiment on romantic satisfaction
Empirical test of the investment report the determinants of commitment, level of commitment, and how satisfied they are in relationship. Each of the three determinants of commitment–rewards, alternative possibilities, and investments–each predicts a couple’s decision to stay or leave. Also more committed partners enjoy more satisfying and stable bonds. Result: when asked to describe their relationships, the more committed partners are more likely to use plural pronouns and are more likely to represent their own identity and that of their partner as overlapping. Commitment promotes sense of merged identity.
Highly committed
Partners were found to be more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors, like self-sacriface and accommodation, rather than retaliation, in the face of demands on the part of their partner. And for all these studies above, mind of them must be longitudinal research.
Marital Dissatisfaction
One way to understand unhappy romantic bonds is to ask whether certain kinds of people or certain circumstances make marital dissatisfaction or divorce more likely.
Demographic factors in romantic relationship: Neuroticism
Neurotic people, who tend to be anxious, emotionally volatile, and plaintive, have less happy romantic relationships and are more likely to divorce, (Personality matters) People who are highly sensitive to rejection have greater difficulties in intimate relationships. Moreover, romantic partners and friends who are sensitive to rejection respond with greater hostility when feeling rejected by intimate others. Relationships in which both partners are sensitive to rejection are more likely to end sooner.
Socioeconomic Status
Individuals from lower socioeconomic backgrounds are more likely to divorce. Lower socioeconomic background is more likely to introduce relationship financial difficulties and the burdens of finding gratifying and stable work, which are some of the primary reasons why marriages break up. No economic resources diminish certain rewards in couple’s life. People
Age
People who marry younger ages are more likely to divorce. Not effective enough at choosing romantic partners.
Interaction dynamics approach, John Gottman and Robert Levenson
A methodological approach to the study of the behaviors and conversations of couples, with a focus on both negative behaviors (such as anger, criticism, defensiveness, contempt, sadness, and fear) and positive behaviors (such as affection, enthusiasm, interest, and humor). It identifies the specific emotions and patterns of communication that predict disatisfaction and divorce in both gay and heterosexual relationships. Married partners engaged in intense conversations videotaped in laboratory were studied carefully for clues to romantic dissatisfaction. Partners talk for 15 minutes about issue that they both recognize in source of intense conflict in relationship and they try their best to resolve it.
Research about interaction dynamics approach
1983, Gottman and Levenson followed marriages of 79 couples and identified the Four Horsemaen of the Apocalypse, the negative behaviors that are most harmful to relationships.
The four horseman of the apocalypse: Criticism
More critical partners who continually carp and find fault with their partners have less satisfying marriages.
Defensiveness and stonewalling
Stands for the ability to resisting dealing problems. Romantic partners are unable to talk openly and freely about their difficulties without being defensive, they are in trouble and this is especially for men.
Contempt(轻视,羞辱)
The emotion felt when one person looks down on another. It has to do with rejection and feelings of superiority, Wife expression of contempt is especially predictive of dissatisfaction and divorce. Couples who eventually divorced expressed more than twice as much contempt as the couples who stayed together.
Experiment on contempt
Research coded facial expressions of contempt from 15 minute conversation between married partners. Then relate the number of contempt expressions to likelihood that the couple would eventually divorce or stay together. Result: Married partners expressed more contempt were most likely to divorced 14 years later than married partners expressed less contempt. For study of 79 couples for four toxic behaviors to predict who would stay together and who would be divorced 14 years later, the accuracy of divorce was 93% correct based on these four measures gathered from 15 minutes conversation. For early divorcing couples who divorced 7.4 years after they married, contempt and anger was the negative effect for the predictive of the demise of the marriage. Later divorcing couples who divorced on average 13.9 years after they were married, was the absence of positive emotions like humor and interest that predicted the end of their bond.
Construal tendencies related to problematic in maintaining romantic bonds: blame
Bradbury and Fincham 1990, relationship between romantic partner’s causal attributions and their relationship satisfaction. Researchers studied partner’s attribution in different ways. Some studies, partners’ attributions were coded from their conversations with one another. Participants might spontaneously attribute partner’s rudeness at a gathering with work colleagues either to situational factors. Romantic partners were asked to make attributions for hypothetical things their partners might do. Partners made attributions for the most negative and the most positive event that had occurred that day in their relationship. Result: dissatisfied, distressed couples make attributions that cast their partner and their relationship in negative light. eg. distressed partner might interpret partner’s unexpected gift of flowers as the result of some whip, particular to that day, which would no doubt be followed by some selfish request.
Create stronger romantic bonds: Capitalize on the Good
Shelly Gable, It is particularly important to capitalize on what is good in your partner’s life, share what is good in life with partner. Four ways for couples to capitalize on each other’s positive experience.
Individuals receiving active, constructive capitalization from their significant others reported greater relationship satisfaction.
Four ways to capitalize on good: Active constructive response
Active constructive responses are evident when one partner responds to the good news of the other partner with engaged enthusiasm. eg. for news of a partner’s forthcoming art show, actively constructive partner might ask questions about what pieces to show and whom to invite, questions that reveal in active engagement in positive development in partner’s life.
Passive constructive response
Still supportive but not actively so. They are quieter, less engaged, and less vocal and saying “that’s good” at the news of the partners respond to each other’s good news.
Active destructive response
Direct criticism or undermining of positive event, for raising doubts about where the art show is being held or whether it will sell any pieces
Passive destructive response
Disinterest or nonchalance
Be playful
Early relationship involve high levels of fun. Later stages of relationship, especially when children are involved, become oriented around diaper changing… Having children leads to drop in romantic satisfaction. Married partners typically only return to their previous level of satisfaction once the children leaves home. One obvious recommendation buck this trend and engage in playful novel, exhilarating activities throughout relationship. When negotating conflict, satisfied couples were found to be more readily playfully tease one another during conflict instead of directly criticizing. Research: partners were tied together at knees and wrists and they were required to move soft ball positioned between heads across long mat. This unusual activity is a great hit at the summer picnic, was a source of amusement. On the other hand,partner had to push ball on his or her own to the middle of the mat with stick. Just as much physical exercise involved, not much mirth or humor with the partner. Result: spouses reported significantly higher marital satisfaction after engaging in the novel, amusing task, both compared with participants in the other condition and compared with an earlier assessed baseline. Therefore, stay playful and keep trying new and pleasurable things.
Care
To solve conflicts and problems that inherent to intimate life, one way is to care, to cultivate compassionate love for partner. Lisa Neff & Ben Karney: love as positive regard for partner and importantly, an honest recognition and appreciation of the partner’s foibles and weaknesses. Research: married partners assessed partners’ compassionate love for each other by measuring extent to which they love their partner, even for their quirks and difficult traits. Result: partners’ reports of compassionate love for one another predict more supportive behavior in 10 minute conversation about relationship difficulty and reduced likelihood of divorce during the first four years of marriage.
Forgive
Forgiveness involves shift in feeling toward someone who has done you harm, away from ideas about revenge and avoidance toward more positive understanding of the humanity of person who engaged in harmful act. Forgiveness does not involve mindless glossing over or avoidance of the harm a partner has done, instead it involves recognizing that to err is human, that mistakes are part of relationships. Research: McCullough followed students suffered recent transgression in relationship. Result: partners who managed to forgive their partner earlier in relationship reported greater closeness and commitment to their partner weeks later.
Illusions and idealization
See your partner through rosy lens of illusion and flattery. One of the most striking qualities of love is its delirious irrationality.
Experiment of illusion: Sandra
Sandra Murray collected compelling evidence that suggests that the idealization of romantic partners is an important ingredient in satisfying intimate bonds. Married couples and dating partners rated themselves and their partner on 21 traits related to virtues, desirable attributes within romantic relationships and faults. Result: idealization was captured in the tendency for participants to overestimate their partner’s virtues and underestimate their faults when compared with the partner’s own self-ratings. Individuals who idealized their romantic partners were more satisfied in their relationship. Individuals also reported greater relationship satisfaction when they themselves were idealized by their partners.
Experiment of illlution: Murray
Examined how people idealize their romantic partners. People were asked to write about their partners greatest fault. Satisfied partners engaged in two forms of idealization, coded from descriptions of their partner’s greatest fault. First, saw virtue in their partner’s fault. Second, satisfied partners were more likely to offer “yes, but” refutations of the fault.
Idealize partner’s emotions
Hawkins, Carrere, and Gottman 2002. The most satisfied couples also idealize their partner’s emotions. 96 couples from the Seattle, area completed the conflict discussion task that we described earlier. They then returned to lab and viewed their interaction on videotape, using rating dial to provide continuous ratings of how much positive and negative affect their partner expressed during the interaction. Result: more satisfied romantic partners overestimated how much positive affect their partner was showing compared with judges ratings, and they underestimated their partners negative emotion.
Power
ability to influence others in some way
Agency
ability to freely control ones environment
Dominance
Expression of power through behavior
Social influence
Changing someones thoughts/emotions/behaviors
Six principles of power
-Power is a perception
-Power exists in relationships
-Power usually represents a struggle over resourses
-Person with less to lose has the greater power
– Power can enable/disable
-Power is a prerogative
7 types of interpersonal influence goals
Lifestyle changes
Gaining assistance
Sharing activites
Initiating sexual activity
Changing political attitudes
Giving health advice
Changing Relationships
3 forms of power
Dominance
Prevention
Empowerment
6 types of power
reward
coercive
expert
legitimate
referent
persuasive
Compliance-gaining strategies
Requests
bargaining
aversive stimulation
Ingratiation
hinting
moral appeals
manipulation
withdrawal
deception
distributive communication
threats
Powerful/powerless speech
Non-verbal positions of power
Appearance
spatial
eye
visual dominance ratio
movements
touch
voice
higher class
time
artifacts
Traditional vs. Egalitarian marriages
Four levels of rewards and costs
1) Emotional
2) Social
3) Opportunity
4) Instumental
Comparison levels
expectations – measure of satisfaction – standard of evaluation – formed through past relationships, and observations of other relationships
Quality of alternatives
how good your other options are – measure of dependency and commitment
Three main features/assumptions of exchange theories
1) sense of obligation
2) Max. rewards – Min. costs
3) Self-interests – interdependence
Interdependence theory
– States that interactions with others are the essence of all close relationships
– Value relationships based on high rewards and low costs
Four relationships that occur when comparison levels and qualtiy of alternatives are combined
1) Committed and satisfying +CL -AL
2) Uncommitted and satisfying +CL +AL
3) Committed and dissatisfying -CL +AL
4) Uncommitted and dissatisfying -CL -AL
Satisfaction = comparison level
Investment model
-extension of the interdependence theory that says (QofALT) + (Satisfation) + (Investment size) = COMMITMENT
Investments
Intrinsic – Direct
Extrinsic – Developed over time
Model of Accomodation
– outlines general responses to dissatisfying events (- events = more negativity)
1) Neglect (destructive)
2) Exit (destructive)
3) Voice (constructive)
4) Loyalty (constructive)
Investment model of relationship-maintaining behavior (IMR-MB)
-outlines the role of commitment and satisfaction in relationship maintanance
Five pro-relationship behaviors in accordance with IMR-MB
1) deciding to remain
2) derogating alternatives
3) being willing to make sacrifices
4) perceiving relationship superiority
5) Tendency to accommodate
Barriers that keep people together
(a barrier is something that stops people from terminating the relationship)
-Internal psychological barriers
-External structural barriers
Equity cross culturally
– Distribution of resources – ratio of contributions and benefits for each person – [North America believes in equity (which means they believe resources should be distributed based on the contributions people make)
Objective power
authority associated with factors such as position, strength, weaponry, and wealth
relative power
power a person has in comparison to ones partner
Dependence power
If one partner is more committed than the other
Principle of least interest
the partner who feels most positive is at a power disadvantage
Chilling effect
Less powerful person tends to hesitate communicating greviances
Demand-withdrawal pattern
Prerogative principle
powerful people can violate norms, break rules, and manage interaction withough as much penalty as powerless people
Communication privacy management theory
– How people cope with the need to maintain privacy boundries
Boundary structures
things used to control the risks of disclosing private information
3 influences on rules for boundary management
1) Influenced by:
– culture – personality – the relationship – biological sex – motivations

2) Cooperation is often required for successful management

3) Co-owners of info often undergo boundary turbulence

Boundary turbulence
New events = new boundry management practices
Boundary insiders
Somone who has knowledge of you boundary management
Privacy management and culture
– Communal cultures = the good and the rights of the entire community are more valued that the individual

– Individualist cultures = generally put individuals over than the entire community

Two types of privacy invasion
– Subversive invasion: covert
– Direct invasion: overt
4 general reactions to privacy violations
– verbal assertion – passive aggression and retaliation – tempered tolerance – boundary restructuration
Case study: Facebook
– high amounts of info given, in order to manage identity and build social captial
– students are more likely to have a private profile if:
1) their friends & roommates do
2) very active on FB
3) Female
Obsessive relational intrusion
Relational goal pursuit theory
Four general reasons that people continue to use ORI behaviors
– cultural scripts (being hard to get is valued) – ambiguity of communication may keep hope alive – rumination – a shift in motivation from wanting a relationship to being mad about being humiliated
Consequences of ORI
– passive (giving up) – avoidant – aggressive – integrative (communicating disinterest) – help seeking
Topic avoidance
Secret keeping
Typicaly avoided topics
– relational issues – negative experiences – past romantic relationships – sexual experiences – friendships – dangerous behaviors
Three general motivations for topic avoidance and secret keeping
– Relationship-based – Individual-based – Information-based
2 transition points in relationships marked by higher levels of topic avoidance
– escalating romantic relationships – during family transitions
Consequences of topic avoidance
Standards for openness hypothesis: perception of how much avoidance has greater influence on satisfaction than actual amount of avoidance…..
Consequences of keeing a secret
-rebound effect: seeing a person or being reminded makes it hard to forget
– fever model of self-discloser: people who are worried about it are more likely to disclose it
Consequences of revealing secrets