Online Dating in India
Introduction: The topic of my dissertation is “taking online relation offline” . India being a nation of youngest population of the world had have very young history of online dating just a decade old but it still have very promising market which have around 25 million estimated online user base with 200million US $ projected market by 2014(Source: industry estimate by stepup. com) this growth is the result of changed mindset of young middle class who want to live in virtual space, which itself is eased by cheap computers and cheaper and faster internet connectivity.
Rising income, access to World Wide Web helped Indian youth to finally come out of that traditional bubble which tell then that fraternizing with any women other than their fiance is wrong. We are now leaving back inhibitions; do not care for social norms and anonymity of cyber space act as icing on this cake of dating. We are using online dating to find new friends and partners on this space as it help us to make our new identity and thus bring out real in us.
Today, youths are more interested in finding a likeminded person with whom they can share their life without being judged and talk about fluid topics like movies or fantasies rather than ticking off qualities mostly physical through pre-set list given by their parents.
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CMC partners exchanged proportionally more self-disclosures and questions than did face-to-face partners. Moreover, the questions they asked were about more personal topics than those the face-to-face partners exchanged.
At the same time, the deeper the disclosures and questions used by partners in CMC, the more effective they were rated by their partners, in comparison to those who met in Face to Face discussions (Walther, 1993, pp. 147–148). “Dating culture in India is evolving rapidly. Changing cultural dynamics like the increase in average marriage age… are shifting the dating paradigm significantly,” StepOut co-founder and CEO Adam Sachs This change in mind set had brought change in dating pattern . here in my dissertation I am trying to cover this WHY and WHAT of changing pattern of cyber dating space. ike all space this cyber space is also a result of confluence of spatial and temporal pattern, but unlike physical space it has compression of time and space boundaries. in cyber space there are no geographical boundaries. in this space we can create our own identity’s which can be different from real one. Here my objective is to study this dating pattern and objectives of my research are as follows: 1. To draw regional profile of the users of these dating sites. 2. To examine if these space supplement real spaces for meeting and dating. 3. To identify the sites where users would like to meet in person. 4.
Do users found it safe to date online. To study these objectives I had taken sample size of forty people by random method. All of them are students of age between 20-25. Surveys are done by questionnaire method which has both open end and close multiple choice questions. Survey is done online by the help of Google forms and personally by interviews.. I had chosen this topic to highlight the social importance of online dating and its effect on real space dating. My title of this dissertation “taking online relation offline “lay emphasis on the study of HOW online relations are taken to OFFLI NE meetings and WHERE they are conducted and WHY. y survey is done on small sample of 40 students randomly selected from social networking site Facebook and online dating site ‘indiandating’ . commercial dating sites become increasingly accepted as a means of forming romantic relationships, more and more couples are meeting online (Rosenfeld, 2010). One industry trade report estimated that almost 25 million unique users around the world accessed an online dating site in April, 2011 alone (Subscription Site Insider, 2011). In India 6 million singles have joined online dating services in India. The market is estimated to be worth $130 million USD in 2012.
By 2015 it is estimated India will have 115 million users of dating services. (source:www. onlinedatingmagzine. com) Young India provides large market for online dating services. Some statistics of Indian dating scenario are: oBy 2015 it is estimated India will have 115 million users of dating services. o20 percent of current committed relationship began online. o17 percent of marriages in 2012 began on an online dating site. ? WHY ONLINE DATING: Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. When we say online dating then it really means dating in cyber space. Online dating (OD) or Internet dating is a dating system which allows individuals, couples and groups to make contact and communicate with each other over the Internet, usually with the objective of developing a personal, romantic, or sexual relationship.
Online dating services usually provide immoderate matchmaking over the Internet, through the use of personal computers or cell phones. It is a form of dating which is COMPUTER MEDIATED COMMUNICATION (CMC). Here bond created between potential partners takes different path than normal or traditional dating relationship. it is an alternative medium for experiencing new and creative romantic endeavors with few spatial-temporal limits. Online dating promises to offer new possibilities and creativities not found in the real-life world scenario Firstly I would like to define the terms before proceeding further . had use the term dating sites to those web sites that primarily focus on offering the user opportunities to form a new relationship, I had compared this term with conventional offline dating which denotes various ways by strangers meet each other to form alliance like meeting in some get together, being introduced by some mutual friend, approaching a class mate or coworker . this type of dating pattern had limited success in countries like India where dating is conceived as something un traditional and a trend of west.
Here marriages are alliances formed by the family consent with many cases where couples have there their first meeting on the eve of their marriage. It is a country where we cannot hit on a girl or boy in some cafeteria or book shop leave alone the option of bar or pub. Here it is not conductive to use pick-up lines like “hello, how are things going? I am looking for like-minded people and found u… ”but online dating chat rooms allow these lines as ice breakers and even if someone get offended he can ignore that person. verall online research had shown that online daters are more confident then offline daters(source: online dating magazine;2005) A study by BURMASTER (2005) of 3400 adults in Asian sub-continent found that one out of three internet users would opt to go online to meet potential dating partner and that internet is the third most popular mode of getting a date followed by meeting through friend and meeting someone at club or pub. To understand how online dating is better than conventional dating we have to consider three important facilities which are offered by online dating sites.
They are : •ACCESS •COMMUNICATION •MATCHMAKING Here access refers to opportunity a user gets to evaluate potential partner which are not easily available in conventional dating. Communication refers to users’ opportunity to use various forms of Computer mediated communication (cmc) to communicate with potential partner before meeting face to face. And matching refers to a sites use of Matching refers to a site’s use of a mathematical algorithm to select potential partners for users. Online dating’s these three services had altered the dating landscape all together.
As firstly its major element of internet flexible accessibility, creative opportunities and perhaps most importantly, anonymity. These freedoms remove the moral tangles of society and provide a “free play” . this feature of anonymity make online dating free from the oversight of others and thus do not carry any fear of stigma. The main idea of this dissertation is to provide an insight to the status of online dating in India and do these sites replace the real spaces for meeting and dating (conventional dating). Secondly does the users find it safe to use it and the sites where would like to meet after taking it offline.
Ben-Ze-ev(2003) book ‘love online; emotions on the internet’ stated that cyber space provides a private world in which the information that is revealed about a person is the information he wants to reveal. He claims that online disclosure is very prevalent as people feel safer in cyber space than in actual space. He says that shame an important emotion is less common in space which leads to very open behavior of the people. The popularity of online dating is because of Internet’s flexible accessibility, creative opportunities, and perhaps Most importantly, anonymity and new freedoms attending that anonymity.
These freedoms remove and disentangle emotions from the moral and social qualms which we in face in the world and thus facilitate a “free play” with identity and imagination. Today internet dating industry generates revenue of 800$ million in 2008 thus making it forth highest internet industry after online gambling, digital music and online gaming. (Mitchell,2009) Online dating services had altered the dating landscape. in particular online dating, which is becoming important way of finding potential partners had altered both the romantic acquaintance process.
For example in online dating person gets a snapshot of potential partner before meeting face to face. He had learned about the person through his profile picture and profile details and other facts before deciding whether to meet them in person or not. Some dating sites also use some mathematical algorithm to find best match based on values, personality, style, interest, race, religion, gender and even pin codes. Though are plenty of places where people could potentially find the love of their life. There are bars, outdoor events, group activities, and even on a park bench as you read your favorite book.
Members of the opposite sex are everywhere. They live and breathe among us. However even when surrounded by an incomprehensible number of options that pass us by every day, it can still seem impossible to find that one person that you may want to spend your life with. For a lot of people, online dating websites have become that key instrument in finding the love of their life. Source:http//www. photoillustrationthinks. com Mainly the benefits of all dating are many. In the real world you’d have to go on a large amount of dates to find someone that even slightly comes close to your liking.
You may go on a lot of these dates only to realize that you wish you got to know them better before you actually got to meet them. Dates take a lot of time, effort, and money. Going out weekly or even monthly with people you barely know can lead to a lot of wasted and disappointing evenings. When you meet someone online you could move slowly and really get to know each other. You could move from one form of communication to another. Before you actually decide that this is someone you’d like to meet in person, you could move from messaging each other online to instant messaging to talking on the phone.
Before going out on a real date and dealing with all of the potential stress involved, get to know someone online. No commitment, it’s all about getting to know someone new in a safe environment, at a comfortable distance without forcing yourself to sit though dinner with someone you have nothing in common with. In Indian scenario though with the help of communication technology world had become a smaller place. We are globalized but it had also increase expectation to perform and communicate in these spaces.
We are rooted deep to our traditions but in the same time want to be a part of this large cyber world where there is no inhibitions, moral code of conduct and we have power of anonymity. Today’s youth do not opt for online dating to find someone to have one night stand but they do so to find there soul mate or friend who fulfill their requirement of a friend or partner with the qualities they want (mainly demanded by their family) In this dissertation I am making my all efforts to study the indian dating scenario from a student standpoint. METHODOLOGY: Basically there are four main objectives of this research.
They deal with: 1. To draw regional profile of the users of these dating sites. 2. To examine if these space supplement real spaces for meeting and dating. 3. To identify the sites where users would like to meet in person 4. Do users found it safe to date online A number of studies have been conducted, both using quantitative and qualitative approaches, to examine the feature of dating which occurs in online environments. They focus on wide range of features, such as the structure and power-dynamics involved in online communities, and how this is facilitated by technology.
However, perhaps the most prominent area of inquiry, and the main concern of this paper, is the participant’s view on online dating and how they perceive it when it is taken offline, it also study about how their online identity relates to the everyday offline personality. Method used for collecting samples is: Purposive Sampling: A common strategy for sampling in qualitative research studies, purposive sampling places participants in groups relevant to criteria that fits the research question. Factors that affect sample size include available resources, study time, and objectives.
To study this I had collected samples from two sources firstly from online source like Facebook and indiandating. com by the help of Google forms and survey monkey. Out of these forty adult subjects twenty are male and twenty are female belonging to the age group of (20-25) of age and mostly belonging to Delhi. The survey sample is kept short because of prevalence of homogeneous answer of students and also because of shortage of time. They all are student; student sample is chosen as they represent the taste of Indian youth. And they use these sites most.
Secondly, ten subjects were again interviewed about their experience of online dating. These ten subjects were chosen from same survey group as they have different experiences and they were ready to share it. Their interviews are transcribed and quoted where they are needed. SURVEY METHOD: Questionnaire method: Survey instrument consist of questionnaire mostly of multiple choice and few being open end questions. They start with enquiry about subject’s sex, age and their occupation. The rest of questionnaire are mixed up to answer the pre-defined objectives. t queried about their preference to date online or in real space or how they assess others profile and decide whom to approach and whom to not. it also collect data about where they want to go out on date and why. An obvious strength is that the research question can be addressed in a relatively short space of time. The questionnaire consist of FACTUAL questions dealing with demographic information, education status or their sex and also some BEHAVIORAL questions dealing with views, opinion ,beliefs and values of the subject. This help to get both qualitative data which helped me to treat the data and check the hypothesis.
Interview method: Following questionnaire was used by me to collect data followed by some open end personally interviewed questions. Which mainly aim at recording subjects experiences of taking online dating offline. These questioned were asked to ten subjects who had admitted dating online and had met potential partner in offline/real life space. There answers are trans scripted to avoid my personal biasness. These subjects were informed that there personal information are used in dissertation. The subjects were also asked about open end questions like ‘what help them to distinguish fake profile from a eal one. ’, ‘why they use online dating or where they would like to meet their potential partner and why. ’ In this following dissertation I had taken subject from two famous dating and social networking sites: Facebook and indiandating. com. I had chosen indiandating . com as it is top ranking Indian dating site catering to the need of whole India. Facebook is also taken even though it is not a dating site but networking site as Indian youth use it a lot to date as there are less chances of fake profile, its free and site itself gives option like ‘people you may know’ so and help in meeting new people.
Relevance of study: My dissertation deals with broad canvas of cyber space. Online dating is one of the most important part of it. In Indian context though online dating is not much old still not much work is done on this topic. Ratings of dating sites are not published and net user base is also not know. Material is available only for the sites which have foreign backdrop. Though country has the world’s third largest Internet users with over 121 million users (of whom 59% who only access the internet via mobile devices) as of December 2011. 137,000,000 Internet users for June 30, 2012, 11. % penetration, per IAMIA and 62,713,680 Facebook subscribers on Dec 31, 2012, 5. 2% penetration rate. (source: http://www. internetworldstats. com/) still not much research is done to study cyber space by geographers. My study does not deal with regional profile as it is very difficult to trace it in small sample size and quite irrelevant as cyber space compress spatiality. I deal with the hypothesis which state that do these cyber space can replace the real space dating sites and how and why of it. I had also tried to mark out those places where they would like to meet in real space and why.
My research aim to know if the reason of using online dating is different among both sex group and do our social cultural traits affect our cyber behavior. My study also aim to find out if these online dating is supplementing real life dating and while concluding I’ll also look at pros and cons of online dating. The rise use of dating sites has been driven by several trends in society. One of these is that people now move around more often for work, distancing themselves from friends and family members who could play matchmakers. Another is that they are living longer, and hence more likely o look for new love later in life. The spread of fast broadband connectivity in many countries has also encouraged people to dabble in online dating. My study is relevant as it is a qualitative research of the online behavior of my subject. It is not based on past trend and neither has it predicted future. It is just an analysis of current dating scenario and how it is taken to real world. Limitation of the study: My research is limited in several ways. First in this dissertation i used a convenience sample that is very small in comparison to vast user base.
With small sample size of 40 subjects for questionnaire method and ten for personal interview, a caution must be applied and result should not be universally applied. This small sample size is the result of lack of time to survey. my research is not designed to evaluate the dating scenario of students but to study how and why they bring it offline. All the subjects are student hence my sample also miss a large chunk of online daters who are employed personals ,married couples and people above age 25. due to shortage of time the no of interview taken are also less i. . 10 persons and they are transcribed and quoted in examples. Though care has been taken to inscribe personal biasness but at some point I failed to maintain unbiased opinion. LITERATURE REVIEW: My dissertation topic is “taking online relationship offline” on this topic not much work is done on Indian context. The articles which help me to clear my basics about this topics are : 1. Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science By: Eli J. Finkel1, Paul W. Eastwick, Benjamin R. Karney, Harry T.
Reis ,and Susan Sprecher Northwestern University; Texas A;M University; University of California, Los Angeles; University of Rochester; and Illinois State University This article deals with information analysis and synthesis focusing on finding and drawing conclusion from it. This article study and check the claim of the online dating sites which claims that online dating sites had promoted better romantic outcomes than conventional dating’s and online dating sites are fundamentally different from conventional dating sites.
This article start with the history of dating in world and how society the arranged marriages still prevalent in parts of Southeast Asia where two individuals are bought together by the intervention of the third person/party who had a relatively broader social network and power to apply judgments. (Ahuvia ;Adelman,1992) It explain that how with the presence of these three elements online dating are superior to conventional form of dating by a. access to potential romantic partners b. communication with potential romantic partners c. atching with compatible romantic partners The overarching goal of this article is to draw upon the accumulated scientific literature on romantic relationships and other psychological phenomena to evaluate (a) whether online dating represents a fundamental rather than an incremental shift in the process of relationship initiation (the uniqueness question) and (b) whether online dating yields better romantic outcomes than does conventional offline dating (the superiority question). this article had outlined the development of dating leading to development of online dating.
This historic trend line help us to understand the development of dating and importance of third party intervention. it also explain the changing view of mass about online dating earlier as it was seen something attempted by people who can’t date in real world and were assumed as ‘nerd’ ‘the desperates”and the socially inept (Goodwin, 1990; Orr, 2004; Smaill, 2004;Whitty ; Carr, 2006; Wildermuth ; Vogl-Bauer, 2007). as it was observed that early adapter of this technology “a little on the shy side or a little on the sleazy side” (Orr, 2004, p. 29). his article had studied slow and steady early growth of online dating and how it get stigmatized before but today enjoying its boom days. secondly it deals with the fact that Has online dating fundamentally altered the romantic acquaintance process? this article deals with famous nine step as follows: This article also deals with the issues that how online dating provides superior access, communication and matching then conventional dating. it finally draw the conclusion that Online dating offers access to potential partners whom people would be unlikely to meet through other avenues, and this access yields new romantic possibilities.
On the other hand, the heavy emphasis on profile browsing at most dating sites has considerable downsides, and there is little reason to believe that current compatibility algorithms are especially effective. Online dating functions best to the degree that it introduces people to potential partners they would have been unlikely to encounter otherwise and facilitates a rapid transition to face-to-face interaction, where the two people can get a clearer sense of their romantic potential.
Though this reading provide guidance to start this dissertation but it do lack in few aspects as it only cover the spatial and cultural settings of western world (America) this article do not deal with the situations and the reasons stating how online relations survive in offline world. But in a nut shell this article had helped in finding that Online dating is now the easiest way to meet other people who are looking to date or looking for a potential relationship.
In addition, some key reasons as to why people like online dating are: * Online dating allows people to cast a wider “dating net” in search for a “perfect” potential long-term partner or soul-mate. * Online dating allows busy people to better organize and plan their dating life. * Online dating gives shy people a voice since it’s easier for shy people to initially communicate while behind a computer monitor. * Online dating allows people to see if there is chemistry before going out on a date. Online dating allows people to filter matches, being able to better sort the type of person they want to date based on religion, interests, political beliefs, etc. * Online dating is the way to date now. Everyone knows a couple who met via online dating and people are no longer ashamed to admit that they met online. Other articals like , paper presented at the Identities in Action conference, Mikael Jakobsson and Victoria Popdan (1999) adopt an auto-ethnographic approach, reflecting on the online interaction that resulted in the development of the friendship between the two authors.
Looking mainly at discourse conducted through the graphical chat systems of “Active Worlds” and “The Palace”, the study addresses two main areas. Primarily, Jakobsson and Popdan examine the more conventional concerns of the portrayal and perception of identity in a text-based reality concluding, rather generally, that some aspects of personality are emphasized whilst others are de-emphasized. They also argue that rather than encouraging identity play, the barrier of online communication encouraged the participants of their study to behave more openly, to more confidently express their “true elves”. In this way, the authors observe that the technology offered for online communication can serve as “A mask that shields the person behind it and in this way tends to make the person more open…the saying that ‘the mask does not hide, it reveals’ captures this phenomenon very well. ” (Jakobsson and Popdan 1999: 5). Result: After completing my survey and by employing statistical techniques manage to draw larger picture of Indian dating scenario represented by my subjects. I had compiled all my results in single excel sheet thus making is easier to study the data.
The questionnaire and interview was set up to validate my objectives of the dissertation. Those objectives were: 1. Trace the demographic profile of the users of dating sites? 2. To examine if these spaces supplement real spaces for meeting and dating 3. To identify the sites where they would like to meet in person. 4. Do they find it safe to use it and why? To find answer of these objectives I had divided my questionnaire into sub parts 1. Trace the demographic profile of the users of dating sites? The survey is done from the sample size of 40 people twenty male and twenty females.
Mostly in there college. With age group of 20-25. The relationship status of the user is kept into consideration and it is found that: Relationship Status Relationship Status Source: survey result from questionnaire. Source: survey result from questionnaire. The work profile of all the subjects is same. They all are students. I had tried to find out why this subject group uses online dating. I survey this by giving them multiple choice questions to determine why they use these dating sites. In my research I had found out that
I had also tried to find out that are people while online dating tried to find if people try to find out their potential partner through regional chat rooms so as to find their date which have physical proximity. It shows result as: Conclusion: My first objective which was to know the demographic profile of the clearly explain the status of randomly picked up sample as * Most of them are below age group of 25 * Females are less actively involved in online dating in comparison to their male counterpart but they are more actively involved in keeping track of their old friends. Their age structure shows that as female are moving towards age upper limit their online dating had decreased. Whereas no such trend is found in male section. May because they are mostly single and get married at older age, hence they are looking for their potential dating partner. * It is seen that mostly male chat in regional chat room so that they find it easier to meet offline whereas majority of girls do not use regional chat room may be because they want to avoid meeting someone they knew and try to keep anonymity. It is also evident from the data that male generally hit chartrooms because they find it easy to express themselves in cyberspace. For example, a male who is conventionally macho in the offline world may more easily drop his bravado in an online environment or vice versa. This may occur partly because the technology mediates discourse and removes the immediacy of peer group judgment, diminishing the pressure for the individual to conform in socially set manners. Males also use online dating to make new online friends rather than tracing the old friends which is more prominent in females. Anonymity attract female more than the male may be it is because our social structure don’t give girls space and freedom to express themselves and to date the person they like without being judged. * Females had also use online dating to meet new persons but lesser then males. This result shows that our society’s social constrain are loosen up in this cyber space. Participants by utilizing the character-based nature of this cyber world to express qualities and physical attributes that they feel they lack in the offline world.
Objective two: To examine if these spaces supplement real spaces for meeting and dating Even in current scenario in India it is difficult to approach a stranger in a cafe or club and extend a hand for friendship or to start conversation with pick up line like ‘hey can we be friends? ’ this situation help in emergence of this online dating. In my questionnaire I had tried to find out that is this hypothesis is true or not. In my studies I had found out that 17 girls out of 20 found is easier to socialize in cyber space where as 14 admitted that they had seriously tried dating through these sites. n boys this result are even more positive. Traditionally in India dating is some phenomena which is carried forward by third parties-religious leaders, parents, elderly women and so forth for centauries but they work in small scale and generally introduce person they personally knew. But in online dating one can browse one’s profile at any time without one’s awareness. Rather than meeting potential partners and then slowly learning various facts about them, Users of online dating sites typically learn a broad range of facts about potential partners (and vice versa) before deciding whether a first meeting is desirable.
Access to potential partners, tools to communicate with them and to judge the compatibility of potential partner are the service that definitely mark online dating superior to real dating. This online dating space provides chat rooms where people can chat, share pictures videos, play games and can do other loads of things. Though real space also provide us these facilities but they are different in few means. In real world if we go out for date then firstly it will become public affair and in countries like India it is not looked up nicely.
Secondly, from male point of view online dating save their expenditure which can be incurred on first dates. From my interview and surveyed data , I had seen that most of the subjects had tried dating online and above fifty percent of them had met offline. People also share personal information’s and issues online as they feel more safer, confident and as the idea of being judged or mis judge is absent. Example: why you use online dating? Ram:” as I can choose any one from the lot according to my mood,if someone is annoying me I can instantly block her profile .
I can chat about many topics without being judged and the best part is that it’s my little secret and I can chat with new girls without even getting in knowledge of my parents and my girlfriend. while online dating I can easily hide my negative aspects I can choosen to sound boring or basketball player and even act like total freak or flirt. ” Rajiv: “I use online dating as I can do it from my home place at my comfort and at my time. I am free to express as I like and act anyway. I entertain myself, increase my social circle and that too without getting out of my comfort zone . hatting apps had helped a lot in making me addicted to it. aaj kal k anoroid mobile apps. Ne to bore hone ka option he nahi chodha. i just love being online all day in chat rooms. flirting and chatting as feel like” From the above interview transcribe we can incur that online space had supplement offline meeting and dating but it has its other side too. From my survey I had also recorded the fact that most of the people dating online are not serious for relationships. Fake identities, spam pages, frauds id’s are very prominent. ource: http://www. cartoonstock. com/stylesheet. css online predators. Case one: Interviewer: did you ever chatted from fake id and why? Alfa_male :” yes I did it many times I m a girl age 23 but I like to chat by posing as male. mazza ata hai ladke ban k girls se baat karne mai alag sa and best part to tab hota hai jab she started taking it seriously its very good prank to play on. ” source: http://www. cartoonstock. com/stylesheet. css profile pictures also create dillusions. Case two: Interviewer: had you ever came across any fake profile?
Sarita: “ek baar ek ladke se mai milne gayi usse mai facebook pe milli thee,jab usse mall mai dekha I was soo shocked he weight almost 100kg and height was about 5 feet, I don’t want to judge someone on physical criteria but all his pic in Facebook were either close ups or in large group thus making it entirely different person. From that day I had decided that I would never meet someone in person. ” There are people who think that it’s fine to date online for fun but we should not get into serious relationships as most of the time people who are dating are not serious.
And if we had find the perfect match then we should take it offline as soon as possible. it is noticed that although users can go directly from dating-site-mediated communication to a face-to-face meeting (e. g. , by scheduling a date through the dating site instant messaging system), most users engage in communication outside of the dating site, frequently via personal e-mail accounts, before deciding to meet face-to-face (Day, Hamilton, Hutchins, Maher, ; Vance,2010). Most of the datings that progress to the mutual mediated communication stage meet face-to-face within a month, frequently within a week (Rosen et al. 2008; Whitty, 2008). Conclusion: It is observed in my study that girls prefer online dating over conventional dating for following reasons: * Ignoring an unwanted date request typically would be considered rude in a face-to-face context, but the relative anonymity at this stage of the online dating process renders it a common and frequently inoffensive strategy, along with the use of impersonal, scripted “no thanks” messages generated by the site (Tong ; Walther, 2011). * Even if in later stage they find someone annoying they can simply remove them. * Have control over their cyber life and identity. Boys also prefer online dating as they have loads of option to choose from. On the basis of my survey I can conclude that do online dating space had enormous potential to supplement real spaces for meeting and dating. These sites in some cases do supplement real spaces for dating as they provide a platform which is safe ,offer anonymity and choices with the comfort of home place but it is also quite a time-consuming and often frustrating activity as dating sites are swarmed up with fake profiles ,bots ,spams ,frauds . Majority of the users said that they hate fake profiles in dating sites.
As it is very disappointing to find that all we know about a person in offline space is lie. 40% of the people feel that people are not serious in online dating may be because they have lot of profile to choose from and their behavior is subjugated by none. One of the biggest dangers of meeting someone online and then pursuing a real-time relationship with them is the fact that the Internet provides a false sense of security. By spending time getting to know someone via email or IM, you might let your guard down more quickly and divulge more personal information than you would in person.
In addition, while you are being deeply open and honest, you have no way of knowing that the other person is really who he claims to be. Abundance of dating sites has a dark side. People intuitively think that having more choices will increase the probability of finding a “better” or “best” option, but they often find it hard to make any selection at all when faced with too many choices Safety is also an important issue in online dating. Online stalker, frauds, scammers are common concern of online daters.
Some people on dating websites try to get to know people on an intimate level for the sole purpose of trying to get money from them, pretending they are having a hard time financially or saying they need the funds to schedule a visit. The intimate information you share online, whether photos, sexual practices or any other sensitive matter, can come back to haunt you. The legal system, unfortunately, does not provide much in the way of remedies for online defamation and the Internet has a permanent memory. Even your efforts to protect your own reputation can backfire on you. It pays to be very careful about what you disclose.
All such are the reasons why these sites cannot replace real spaces for dating. But can act as a catalyst to supplement dating in real spaces. Initially online scape do provide safe platform to initiate dating with unknown personals who can be our friends. Objective 3: To identify the sites where they would like to meet in person. This objective aims to find out the real tangible spaces and sites where people want to meet when they take their online relationships offline. . Online dating has become a very big part of our society in the last few years, and it seems to have taken the place of meeting people in bars.
The biggest part to the online dating process is actually meeting a person face to face for the first time. This can be a little nerve-racking and exciting, as it may put you way out of your comfort zone. It is a big decision to decide about the place where one wants to meet other in the real space. As after the secure platform of cyber space where one is going to finally meet people in person. Well it really depends upon the comfort level of that person. There communication online or on phone helps to select best place. Generally it is a place with quite ambience with comfort to communicate freely in public place.
In my survey I had tried to find out such places where people generally tend to meet up for their first date. And after what window period they find it comfortable to meet. Survey result: Source: surveyed data It is quite visible that choice of sites for meeting first time is quite different between both the sexes. Girls want to opt for the places which are quite but public like coffee shops or movie whereas boys like to go to places where they can indulge in activities os places which are full of action so as to work as ice breaker. ource: http://www. cartoonstock. com/stylesheet. css In my survey I had found that more of male are interested in taking online dates offline and generally to place or the places of their interest. I had also noticed that seventy percent of girls believe in window period before meeting online or even before changing with option of blocking phone no to avoid taking to a person has encouraged women to exchange phone number and hence they talk over phone for a long period before meeting offline. Objective 4: Do they find it safe to use it and why
First dates are always fraught with anxiety, particularly blind dates of any kind. Meeting an online friend face-to-face does qualify as a first date, although you have technically been getting to know them or mildly flirting for a while. As you are already nervous, anxious, and excited about meeting this person for the first time. Depending on the time you have vested in getting to know each other online and/or over the phone it depend if people find it safe to use it. According to my survey: Percentage of subjects finding it safe to meet online. Source: surveyed data
And when the question is asked for the reason to feel safe online dating the reply are: Ques: why feel safe in online dating? Source: surveyed data Analysis: as the question of online safety arise girls are more concern about it and even more to be confident about the fact they have power and control to choice, reject and block any one they feel like. They also enjoy the quality of anonymity which internet offers but not as much as males do. The factor of online dating sites that they provide us tool of creating identity. We can pose, we can act, and we can fake all these options are soo available.
This tool is more used and preferred by females then by males as female identity are generally molded and bended in our society. But internet provide them freedom to explore any aspect of their identity. Interviewed reply: Interviewer: why you feel safe to date online and then bring it on real space? Arti: online dating k bahut benefits hai ek toh nobody knows about it so I can chat to anyone I like secondly its soo safe you can easily share anything, here I have the power to provide or deny access to my profile,jab lage risky ho raha hai sab then I can easily quit bas fir profile name changed and I can chat again. Asma : “arey here I have block option always open. If someone irritate me I just block his access to my profile. Even if I want to meet that person online e then I can cross check his profile on social networking sites as people generally don’t lie over them and when it came to dating and meeting I just follow my instinct and normal safety code, will meet him in public place within the knowledge of my friends or family on my turf so if anything wrong happen I can quickly use fire exits” Feeling safe online is one of the illusion which internet provide us.
In this cyberspace we tend to drop our inhibitions, fear, anxiety, code of conduct and tend to share our personal information. We should to that as it is seen that many times these small peek in our personal real life or our avatars can lead to serious damage to our reputation in real world later in our life. Internet had great memory it never forget anything. source: http://www. cartoonstock. com/stylesheet. css Profile which you have created years back in your teen can cause bad affect in your future life. It can range from ids like [email protected] co. n or may be some pics of pajama party or may be some dark sites you had googled in past but by mistake you get tagged in it. Cases of online stalking , With 81% adults in India sharing information online once a week, inter personal communication have taken a beating. Intel Corporation’s study, titled Mobile Etiquette revealed a perception of ‘oversharing’ with at least six out of ten adults and teens saying they believe other people divulge too much personal information online. Nearly 44% respondents admitted that they were embarrassed by or regretted something they have shared online. ource: http://www. cartoonstock. com/stylesheet. css online dating is a safe option or not is an argument yet to be resolved but it is been noticed that with limited information on display and by using basic guidelines about online dating we can avoid the pitfalls of the online dating. The online dating world gives you more options, but finding a date online also presents safety hazards. While many members of the online dating sites are honest and well intentioned, others prey on women or don’t present themselves honestly. There are guys who will think that this is the perfect ption to fix a date with women and then take advantage of her. You need to be careful. There is no scarcity of perverts out there. Even worse, there can be guys who are pretending to be someone they are not. Conclusion: According to the BBC World Service global poll that surveyed close to 11,000 Internet users in 19 countries, India and Pakistan have some of the largest numbers of enthusiasts for online dating. 59 per cent of Indians and 60 per cent of Pakistanis use the Internet to find a potential partner. Online dating saves time and money; it lets you hide your identity and thereby provides safety.
As compared to the old and traditional way of finding a mate, online dating is much better and lets you communicate with somebody sitting on the other end of the globe. My thesis as aimed to trace the way how online dating’s are taken offline by Indian youth. my findings shows that most of the people who date are single as female move into relationship or marriage their dating activity decreases but male do not show any such trend. Female use dating to be in contact with their friends but male do it to find someone new to date online.
These dating actually cannot replace the real dating place but they do supplement real dating space in many ways as if online relation hit the real road then it tends to be successful. These dating sites help in finding people of similar interest, same location , religion or traits easily as online dating provides choice. But this factor also has its bad side attached to it. Abundance has a dark side. People intuitively think that having more choices will increase the probability of finding a “better” or “best” option, but they often find it hard to make any selection at all when faced with too many choices.
This phenomenon is called “choice overload. ” This abundance may also result in believing one has essentially infinite possibilities, which may lead some people to question or devalue their current partner. This is called “trading up,” and may lead to treating one’s dates as commodities. It is inevitable that, in every relationship, there will come a moment of disillusionment. Having an array of potential partners may discourage any sustained effort to resolve conflicts. Though these dating sites sometimes pose as if they had made dating a fun not a serious affair.
Some people find that exchange of information online is not safe and majority things that online dating is easy and safe way to express, as with the help of anonymity trait online dating had become a good choice for Indian youth as they want this dating stuff to be kept as secret as it is still not socially admitted. I had found out that dating online is acting as safer option to date but fake profiles ,spams ,online fraud cases had limited the way in which they want to date. These obstacles make dating bit dangerous as it can cause financial, emotional loss together with bad effect on reputation.
It is also seen that sites the people decided to meet offline also varies. Girls tend to opt for public places but with quite ambience. So as to feel safe but also to have enough privacy to initiate conversation. Whereas boys opt for restaurant, movies, disc or lounges as they are not much good in initiating conversation they use such places in defense to speak less and enjoy the company. Some of them give reasons that such places give an comfort zone so act as a ice breaker. Girls avoid disc or lounges for first date as they believe to keep it as simple as possible so as to find it easy if date doesn’t go smooth.
They like places like coffee shop or restaurant to keep its duration small. Though online dating has many pros to use it ,it also have its part of pitfalls: When you provide information about yourself online, you inevitably take certain risks. Online dating, perhaps because it speaks to our fondest hopes, opens the door to certain vulnerabilities. It can deceive; can offend you sexually, emotionally or financially. But in end it is just a way to find potential partner now its up to us to follow our instinct and use it tool to help ourself in search of true love.. As said by one of my subject: I believe in love at first site.. XO XO