Marriage

Marriage could mean differently for every person, but most people would agree that marriage is the union of a man and a woman. Marriage is part of almost every people’s life in the world. Regardless of religion, culture or customs, and constitutional practice, most people tend to have the same opinion on marriage. They believe that marriage usually brings stability, happiness, and meaning to human beings (The Heritage Foundation, 2008). However, the occurrence of problems in marriage is inevitable, no matter how hard each individual tries to avoid it.

In marriage, there are always conflicts and problems that a couple may experience due to various reasons. The differences in the couple’s attitude, beliefs, characteristics, and personalities are some of the sources of problems or conflicts in marriage. As each and every individual has a personality that is different from others, couples may sometimes have misunderstandings as they try to resolve their differences (Berlin, 2008). Financial concerns may also bring about problems among married couples.

Since money is important, problems arising from financial matters can be very difficult to deal with, regardless of who earns the money and how each individual spends it. Moreover, couples usually clash when it comes to money matters. For instance, one of the spouses may have the tendency to spend a lot, while the other may be thrifty, resulting in a conflict between them. Since sex is a part of marriage, it can also be a source of problem for married couples. For example, if one of the spouses loses interest in sex or does not sexually satisfy his or her partner, it may result in a conflict between partners.

Likewise, boredom can also be a problem with couples. For instance, one of the partners may have another interest that is different from the other. If that is the case, one of them may feel bored and lose interest in the company of his or her partner. In relation to this, another source of problem in marriages is lack of intimacy. Either of the couple may feel this way for various reasons (Ross, 2008). One of these reasons could be neglect. As one becomes too busy and engrossed with his or her work and other activities, he or she may forget his or her responsibility as a wife or husband to one another.

This problem may also result in other problems, such as infidelity. Neglect is one of the many reasons why a married person engages in extramarital affairs. Consequently, many marriages have been ruined by extramarital affairs. Trust is highly important in marriage. It serves as the foundation of the couples’ relationship. Hence, infidelity can destroy that foundation, sometimes resulting in an irreconcilable conflict between the married couple. In such cases, restoring their relationship could be very difficult, especially if one of the spouses lost his or her partner’s trust due to his or her unfaithfulness.

Physical violence, which has been a continuous problem in the society, can also occur among married couples. In most cases, the victims are women, as some women end up becoming a battered wife. Likewise, non-violent raging behavior is regarded as another problem that can arise in a couple’s life. This behavior is mostly exhibited by women. It usually involves nagging, yelling, or screaming at their husbands (Marriage Problems First Aid Kit, 2008). There are still some minor problems that can be seen in married couples such as substance-related problem wherein either partner is involved in alcohol abuse or drug use.

However, the worst problem that can come to a couple’s marriage is when one or both partners agree to have a divorce because of the various problems that were mentioned above (Taylor, 2008). The common problems discussed earlier that are present in marriage affect each couple in various ways. If both are working, it is likely that work will get affected, and one may not be able to work well because of thinking too much about the problem. Marriage problems can also cause stress and depression.

If the married couple has a child, there is also a great tendency that the child will get affected too and might develop some psychological or behavioral problem because of what is happening in their parent’s relationship. The child’s performance in school might get affected as well, and they might not be able to concentrate well in school. If there is violence involved, trauma and stress may be experienced both by the child and the victim of violence. These problems usually affect the people involved emotionally.

If the couple does not manage to fix the problem and find a solution to their problem, either partners will be badly affected, and this would increase the possibility that he or she will do something that can cause another problem, such as getting involved in drugs, alcohol, infidelity, and other resources that will either help them forget about their problem or escape from it (Berlin, 2008). Problems in marriage are difficult to avoid no matter how hard each couple tries to shun them. It is impossible to have a problem-free and perfect relationship.

However, each couple can always try ways and different approaches to prevent problems from happening. The first and very important factor that a married couple should do is to have proper communication. There are many problems that are caused by lack of communication or miscommunication between partners. Married couples should always have constant communication with each other in every aspect of their life since they are bound to be together for better or for worse as they made a promise on their wedding day.

Compromising and communicating effectively will surely make the relationship harmonious, and married couples will be able to prevent or resolve their problem easily. In marriage, it is always important to have a give and take relationship. Thus, both sides should make the effort to resolve their problems by communicating with each other openly and sincerely to keep their marriage and relationship peaceful. However, communication would not be effective if both partners would not listen intently to each other. They should also be humble enough to admit their mistakes and forgive their partner and themselves.

Having pride will not help as it will not resolve any conflicts. Marriage problems can always be stressful and hard to overcome for every people involved. Nevertheless, people can always find solutions and opportunities to resolve and save their marital relationship. The first thing that should be done is to understand and identify the problem in marriage and the possible reasons of the problem. When they already know the problem, then both partners can try to resolve the conflict by finding a solution by themselves and talking about the problem.

If this does not work, then the couples can always seek help and advice from their friends or families such as their parents who can give good advice and moral support. However, the best solution in marital problems is consulting help from professionals. Marriage counseling is always the best solution to this problem, and it is always recommended by people who have tried and experienced it. There are several benefits that married couples can gain from marriage counseling. For one, marriage counseling can resolve the problem healthily.

The couple can also learn a lot of things in terms of how to keep a successful marriage. Both spouses can also get to develop relationship skills that will be beneficial in their marriage. Hence, in marriage, it is always advised for couples to consult a counselor, regardless of the gravity of the problem, so that they can always take necessary actions to prevent conflicts and problems in their marriage. Lastly, attending marriage seminars and couple retreats can also be also a solution to marriage problems.

Such events were proven to help couples in maintaining a healthy relationship (Meyer, 2008). Marriage is a beautiful relationship that the couple can keep for a lifetime. On the other hand, problems are always part of every relationship. Thus, it is very important for every couple to understand each other and always have proper communication to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. There are always solutions for every problem. Hence, married couples should always try their best to keep the relationship and make it work not only for their own benefit but for their children’s as well (Berlin, 2008).

References

Berlin, G. (2004, May). The Effects of Marriage and Divorce on Families and Children.

MDRC. Retrieved November 21, 2008 from

http://www.mdrc.org/publications/386/testimony.html

Marriage Problems First Aid Kit. (2008, August 25). Cary Counseling Center. Retrieved

November 21, 2008 from

http://www.carycounseling.com/door/Hot/marriageproblemsfakhot.htm

Meyer, C. (2008). Benefits of Marriage Counseling. About.com

Retrieved November 21, 2008 from            http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/canorshoulditbesaved/qt/marriagecounsel.htm

Ross, T. (2008). Common Marriage Problems. Streetdirectory.

Retrieved November 21, 2008 from

http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/56581/divorce_and_infidelity/common_marriage_problems___neglect.html

Taylor, D. (2008, August 27). Typical Marriage Problems That Lead to Divorce. Ezine

Articles. Retrieved November 21, 2008 from

http://ezinearticles.com/?Typical-Marriage-Problems-That-Lead-to-Divorce&id=1433804.

The Heritage Foundation. (2008). What is marriage?. Heritage Research.

Retrieved November 21, 2008 from

http://www.heritage.org/Research/Family/MarriageDebate/WhatIsMarriage.cfm