The ideas the Duffy is trying to convey is the idea the heart brake and physiological damage of a relationship gone corrupt and by a wedding day that was a- boarded ND the devastating impact on the bride who was left standing on her own embarrassed and humiliated by the failure of her beloved to show up.The idea of society expectation has also shrouded upon her since she can’t even leave her own house since she is paranoid about society expectation of a classic woman.
Society expects a woman to find a man and get married and have children and by her not fulfilled society’s expectation she has “failed” at life’s virtue for a woman therefore having a unworthy life by living as a “spinster” and wasting away thou a husband.Another idea conveyed is the effect of also being alone without a partner “a lover” to share your life with.
This is reflected by Ms Having who has always been alone and never really had “true love” and the effects of that how our feelings can go to mutual hatred towards one person whom in their mind destroyed their entire life.
The poem is titled Having and not Miss Having. Why? The poem Is titled “Having” opposed to “Miss Having” since she doesn’t have the honor being labeled a “miss” due to turning Into a complete monster. She Is not a lady , she’s not proper or has the correct virtue for a typical ladles life. She Is an old hag who has wasted away and is nothing more than to be called a spinster. Having creates a harsh , violent and bold statement reflecting her and everything he’s become.
Where as Miss creates a peaceful , calm and relaxed tone and doesn’t reflect her at all. What do you think the poem gains from the images of violence in it? The poem advances with Images of violence from the text since it creates an image of his woman and the extent of her despair and trashed life that took a turn Off cliff and died. The metaphors and imagery shown In the text such as ” so hard Vive dark green pebbles for eyes” really gives the audience an Intense Image and shows how she hardened from the Inside and has nothing but venom filled In her veins. Opposition. The feelings of Ms Having are mixed due to the confusion inside and the baffling she’s had to deal with to come to terms with the “tragedy’. The feeling consist o darted and evil towards this man shown through ” wished him dead” hating this man so much to the extend she wished death upon him. Feeling stretching to her love for him expressed minimally for example ” Beloved sweetheart” showing a more inmate and loving tone.
Then creating a more somber tone with the loneliness she has by herself “give me a male corpse for a long slow honeymoon” showing the extend that she wants someone this man so bad that she would replace him with a male corpse since she realizes that no man would ever want her. The reason for these binary opposite is since that is what we as humans feel mixed emotions , churned up together creating confusion fore her and us. Sometimes the persona imagines the passionate times she could have had with her lover.
Which part of the poem describes this? The poem describes the time she could have had with her lover are shown in many instances like ” the dress yellowing” expressing that she has waited for him all these years and that they still could get married and have a fulfilled life together. This is also shown through “give me a male corpse for a long slow honey moon” expressing that they had the opportunity to go on a beautiful honeymoon together.
To what extent does the poem reflect a feminist agenda, or even Duffy own feelings at the time of writing? Address the attitudes and values conveyed. To a minimal extent the poem reflects a feminist agenda since the poem is directed towards her lover but is shown in some instances like “loves hate behind a white veil” here the feminist agenda is reflected is the quote since it undermines the institution of arraign and the idea that it is not worth it , a disappointment and alluding to gay and lesbian rights.
Another references is shown through “spinster” since the meaning of the word is a old had and unmarried wasting away without a husband. Hence showing the inequality between men and woman since the term for a unmarried man is “bachelor” which is viewed in a positive light and being a good thing whereas woman are considered a disappointment by not get married therefore highlighting the feminist agenda.